One of Our Own
by BlueBlood82
Summary: Joey and Jack are set to embark on what the future holds for them, but a disturbing case his a little close to home and threatens the bond between these two cousins forever. Another Reagan is embroiled in a scandal and puts Jamie in the hotseat with the city, the department, and worse of all Eddie!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"There you see," Eddie cooed to Reagan as she slowly rocked her. "There was nothing to get so upset about was there? No, there wasn't…your blankie is tight and your tummy is full." Eddie slowly handed the now quiet baby back to her mother.

"Thanks Mom," Lila sighed. "They both just started to scream and…"

"You can't let them get you flustered honey," Eddie advised. "They feel your frustration and your anxiety and it makes them scared."

Steven rubbed Lila's back, "So we were frightening our own babies?"

"I don't think Eddie means it quite like that," Jamie spoke up with his little grandson now asleep in his arms. "But when you are uptight or anxious they can feel it. Babies are like dogs, bees, any other instinctual animal, they react to fear. You are their parents, no one knows what is right for your babies more than you do."

Jamie handed Finn back to Lila as well. He could see the fatigue etched in Eddie's face, "I'm going to take Mom on home now, you two can do this. You have to believe you can though or you will get too scared and just frighten them. There were inside all safe and warm, they don't know where they are or why, they need you two to make them feel secure." Jamie kissed Lila's head and gave her a sure hug. Lila realized what he meant, even as a grown up with her own babies she felt safe in her father's arms.

"I love you Daddy," Lila whispered. "Take care of Mom, she looks kind of drawn."

Jamie nodded, "I see it. You call if you need us but try to handle it yourselves okay?"

Steven saw Jamie and Eddie out. Jamie reached for his wife's hand, "You need to go up to bed. You're exhausted."

"We were about to make love," Eddie sighed. "I take it that is not going to be happening now."

"Eddie, I can see the tiredness written all over you,' Jamie sighed. "I love you, you know I love you, there will be other nights."

Eddie bit her cheek to keep her voice normal, "Not like tonight, Jamie. There will never be another night where our first grandchildren come home and we remembered those special times, that's done. That is past already. Guess you were saved by the bell huh?"

"Eddie," Jamie pulled on her hand. "Don't be like that. You know I was very excited honey. You know that."

"There was a day Jamie…but that day passed," Eddie sighed.

"This is about what Nikki said isn't it?" Jamie asked as they walked. "Eddie, open up with me. Talk to me!"

"You aren't talking to me, Jamie," Eddie replied. "You aren't. You are fatigued and you are losing your DCPI just retired, this is the time to change. I can't help you if you get sick again, what part of that don't you understand?"

"Eddie…" Jamie sighed. "Baby, I love you, okay? Right now is not the time there are some major things happening at work that I can't up and leave right now. It needs to be handled with kid gloves."

"Tell me, Jamie!" Eddie implored him. "Make me understand why you are risking your health, just make me understand."

Jamie sighed wishing he could tell her, wanting to tell her everything but knew some information couldn't be shared.

"All I can say is there's some problems within the department and I'm not about to dump it on someone else because it could roll back on my dad."

Eddie picked her head up watching Jamie's body language. "It's bad Eddie but I know when to rest," Jamie assured.

His soft blue eyes met hers as he crossed back to her taking her hands in his. "I love that you worry about me. I love you Eddie."

"I love you too please Jamie try and take it easy," Eddie begged him receiving his thousand watt smile.

"I will promise."

Jamie tested the waters by slipped his hand into Eddie's again. She let him hold her hand and leaned her head on his shoulder. By the time they got back to the house most of Eddie's weight was on him, she was so tired.

Frank was still awake when they went inside. He was making a cup of tea, puttering around the kitchen. "Dad, it's really late you should be in bed," Jamie sighed.

"I am having tea and I could eat, then I'll go to bed and be old. How are my great-grandbabies?"

"Fussy," Eddie replied. "Lila and Steven are too uptight, it all started when Finn fell asleep with his pacifier in his lips. Lila read something about his teeth, which won't matter for a while yet, and took it out. Reagan got woke up and got mad, Lila got flustered and they both got anxious from her fear. Jamie and I needed about five minutes to calm the twins and another two hours to settle the parents." Eddie sat down in the kitchen chair and leaned over to rub her sore legs.

"Why don't you go up, I'll be right there," Jamie told Eddie kissing her head. "I'm just going to lock up, I'll be right there."

Eddie finally agreed and headed up to the bedroom. Jamie sat beside Frank, "Twice," he sighed.

"Twice?" Frank queried as he bit his freshly made sandwich. "In the last half hour I lied to my wife twice. I never had to lie to her like this before."

"Why do you have to lie to her now?" Frank asked. "Eddie's not like Linda, she's not excitable, she's not a panicker."

"If she found out I was staying to clear up this mess with Erin, they made things up but she'd go berserk. I had to tell her that what I was doing implicated you."

Frank raised his eyebrow, "Jamie, when Eddie finds out you were dishonest…"

"I know, Dad," Jamie sighed. "But I can't let them hang my sister out to dry and not try to get to the bottom of this. It was Erin's money, Dad. Her money funded all of those programs, but I can't believe she knew those kids were being bought and sold like cattle and I won't believe she had a hand in it!"

Frank nodded, "I appreciate your keeping the card close to your chest, son. But it's not worth your health and it is not worth your marriage."

Jamie sighed, "Eddie is turning so cold. I know she's tired, and with the kidney disease it bloats her and makes her feel sick…I know the weight gain is making her feel unattractive…but I try, Dad. I really try."

"I know you do, go up there now and try. You took excellent care of Eddie when she had cancer, she took excellent care of you when you had the stroke. Go upstairs and take care of each other. Marriage is about in sickness and in health, you two do that part great. But it's also about to love and to cherish and I think you are a little lax on that. Cherish your wife, cherish these years…one day it's all going to be gone. Don't have regrets son."

Jamie nodded and got up, "Thanks Dad. Get some rest all right?"

Frank nodded, shaking his head, "Jamie…you won't be able to save anything, not Erin, not me, not your career if your marriage ends up in the crapper."

Jamie nodded again and turned to head upstairs.

Eddie was massaging moisturizer into her legs when Jamie came in. He changed out of his clothes and slid into bed, "I love to watch you do that," Jamie whispered. "But more than that, I love to do it for you." He held his hand out and waited for her to put the lotion bottle in his hand.

Eddie put it in his hand and Jamie smiled. He carefully massaged the lotion into her legs and feet making sure to work the sore muscles. Eddie's body was not built to carry extra weight, her frame was so small. Jamie took his time, using his fingertips to run over her body, "Stop doubting me, Eddie. Stop doubting I love you, please," Jamie whispered.

"I can't help it, Jamie," Eddie replied. "You still look amazing, you are still in shape even after a stroke."

Jamie paused and went for it, "Eddie, I hate how this is going to sound but there were other times in our marriage when you were…While you were sick, from a man's perspective, you were a lot less attractive than now and I loved you and wanted you anyway because that wasn't the only thing I loved. You gained weight, it's not even you fault all right?"

Eddie sighed, "I'm sorry I was so revolting to you!" She moved away not even wanting him to finish digging her feet into the carpet.

"Wait Eddie that's not what I meant, I meant I love you no matter what you look like because I love you," Jamie pleaded trying to reword what he meant to say.

Eddie merely scoffed at him knowing exactly what he meant. "No I get it I know I'm not pretty, you made it abundantly clear. I thought you were the one guy who wouldn't disappoint me, sorry to say I was wrong now get out!"

Jamie stood off the bed facing her wanting a chance to explain, instead having to move as Eddie threw a pillow at him. "Eddie."

"Since I'm that hideous get out, just go. I'm sure you'll be happy with someone more attractive," Eddie called over her shoulder, keeping her back to him so he couldn't see the disappointed tears in her eyes.

"Eddie, I won't be happy anywhere else," Jamie pressed. "I'm sorry, baby. I was just trying to tell you that you're beautiful to me no matter how you look. I love you. I want you no matter what. You trying to lose weight and taking this vitamin and that vitamin. It doesn't matter."

Eddie lost her battle with her tears and began to sob. Nikki's words hurt and Jamie lately hadn't done much to make her feel like she was more than a female marshmallow man. Jamie closed the gap, "Eddie, please…Let's lie down together, let's remember that feeling on the sofa, remember when our babies were little, and remember when I used to make your knees buckle when I kissed your neck…"

Jamie leaned over and nibbled on Eddie's ear. She put her shoulder up, "I can't Jamie. I can't anymore, please…I need to be alone, please go sleep in Joey's room."

"Eddie we have never slept apart unless one of us was sick, and even then we usually bunked in the hospital," Jamie sighed. "I don't want to sleep apart, I love you, Eddie."

Eddie sighed and stilled in Jamie's arms, "I need you to keep your promises. You said you'd stay home with me. You promised you'd stay home."

"I will," Jamie whispered. "How about tomorrow, you and I go and get couples' massage, have a nice lunch, and take a walk by the pier. Would you like that?"

Eddie smiled, if he kept his promise, she would. "Yes, I would. And of course we'll go and see the babies."

"Of course," Jamie replied. "You're going to be the most loving, most involved and most beautiful grandma…I love you, Mrs. Reagan, please stop trying to forget that."

Eddie nodded gently, "I'll try." Jamie pulled Eddie closer, counting her breaths as she fell asleep where she belonged, in his arms.

 **A/N: Seems Lila isn't quite ready to be a Mommy and Eddie is clearly having some body image issues among other things. And Erin…can Jamie get her out of that hot water?**

 **Next Update: July 16** **th** **– Jamie and Eddie have a couples day, Joey and Anse look into a robbery string that might be an SVU.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Be careful of her arm," Jamie warned the massage therapist as they each laid face down on heated adjustable massage tables.

"Jamie, Manny is my usual therapist he's very well aware of my arm," Eddie laughed. Jamie was trying very hard to be solicitous. He woke her with a steaming mug of coffee, her cranberry juice, and a bowl of their favorite breakfast concoction, oatmeal with peanut butter, preserves, and a splash of cashew milk. While they ate, Jamie discussed wanting to shop for their new grandchildren now that they knew the sexes.

" **After our massages and lunch?" Eddie asked. "You don't want to go to the office at all?"**

 **Jamie sighed, "I made you a promise, baby. I know you are feeling neglected and shut out. I know how much you want me to retire so we can travel and spend time with the kids and the grandkids."**

" **It's not even the travel," Eddie sighed. "It's your health and mine. We don't know how much time we are going have together. Nikki was right, if I can't get my weight down, I could have a heart attack…"**

" **Eddie, when you get control of the other issues, you will get control of the weight," Jamie soothed. "And please, if you weigh what you did when we got married or what you do now or what you did when you were so sick. I don't care if you have no breasts, no anything…"**

"Well, I had to make sure," Jamie replied as he selected menthol and rosemary as his aroma therapy. Eddie chose her usual lavender ant the two therapists began. Manny used a heavier pressure along Eddie's back and hips, "How's that sciatic nerve doing?" he asked. Jamie reacted to that, Eddie hadn't mentioned that being a problem.

"It comes and goes but the numbness is much less," Eddie replied. "It's sore around the hip."

Manny nodded and began to work on the area Eddie was talking about, stretching her legs and spending time on her ankles and feet to stretch all her leg muscles. Jamie's therapist was very busy on his back and neck, "Jamie, you hold too much tension in your shoulders. Do you have migraines?"

"Sometimes, but I only had about three since my stroke two years ago. My wife takes excellent care of me." Jamie looked at Eddie, she was taking in long deep breaths, something she did when a stimulus was painful for her. "Go gentle, you're hurting her," Jamie advised.

"Mr. Reagan, I do Eddie once a week and this is our routine, I know she's tender but this will help her a lot."

Jamie shut his mouth and held his opinion trying to enjoy his own massage. The rest of the hour passed quickly. While Jamie and Eddie dressed, Jamie was a little pensive.

"What's wrong? You didn't enjoy it?" Eddie asked.

"I did, but I didn't enjoy learning about my wife having sciatic nerve pain and hip pain from your massage therapist. Also, why are you coming once a week now?"

Eddie sighed, "I'm getting older, I want to stay mobile but working out is something hard because of the lymphedema. I am going to start running though, that's why I am having Manny work so hard on my legs and feet."

"Well, the next time you are having that kind of trouble, I want to hear about it," Jamie told her firmly. "There was a time you would have told me not a stranger."

Eddie sighed, "I don't want to worry you about something silly. Let's get dressed, get some good lunch and go shopping. I paid the Visa, it can take a work out."

Across town at the 2-7, Joey was staring at a case file. He was trying to focus on work, but his thoughts were on Molly and their appointment after work to select her ring. "What are you looking at? Anse asked him.

"Robbery case," Joey replied. "Actually six robbery cases, all of them around midtown, all of them men 35-50 with prosperous careers, and none of them have any idea what happened until they wake up tied to a bed or a chair. None of them were in bars or anything like that, they remember being at or near their offices."

"Joe, it's a robbery case, let major case handle that. We have an SVU case," Anse reminded him. "Four year old girl down at child services, bruises on her inner thighs. Benson said specifically to send you."

Joey sighed, he had a way with little kids, "Of course she did." Joey put the reports aside but something made him believe those cases would end up SVU property, he had inherited that gut from his father, grandfather, and mostly his Uncle Danny.

Joe got up and followed Anse to their car. Anse drove to the family services facility. Joey smiled at several children thinking about his new niece and nephew and the babies he would have with Molly. "She's over here, her name is Mia."

Joey nodded and got out Mr. Rabbit and Mrs. Bear from his pack, he did this all too often, but someone had to speak up for these little victims, might as well be him.

Joey knelt down by the shy little brunette girl, she hid her face from him. Joey tapped her leg, "Well, Mr. Rabbit, it looks like our little friend Mia is shy, maybe you can say hi to her."

Anse watched as Joey did his thing with the little girl. The rabbit toy opened the child in minutes and soon Joey was getting a statement. The man was talented, there was no denying that. A few more collars and they would both be in line for Detective First grade. Anse hoped that Jamie's position didn't delay things, he knew it had for Joey individually in the past. Still, most of the time Joey was a great partner and Anse wouldn't trade him for a non-Reagan any day.

"Jamie, look at this one!" Eddie held up a pretty lacy dress with a pink slip underneath. "And it has this cute bow!"

Jamie smiled at his wife's enthusiasm. They had been in the baby story for an hour and she was still selecting new outfits. "Eddie, you know that Maura and Josh are going to buy things and the firehouse is going to send a ton of things right?"

"Yes, but we are their maternal grandparents, it is out job to spoil these babies rotten. My father managed to spoil our kids just the same as yours did. Two more things each and we'll go."

Jamie nodded. The truth was he was getting tired and wanted time to snuggle his grandchildren before having to go home and talk to Eddie about replacing Detective Meyers. He wanted for his wife to come back at least part time as his personal assistant, but he knew she would decline. Still, if he didn't ask her, he was afraid she would be upset. It was so easy to upset Eddie these days.

Jamie ended up being the one to select the final two items, two very soft sound soothers, one shaped like a sheep and the other like a rabbit. "They will love those," Eddie smiled at Jamie. "They are so cute. You see you are still a good spoiler."

Jamie smiled, "I still intend to spoil you some more when we get home."

Eddie tended to not think about such things when she was in grandma mode. "Oh you do, do you?" she laughed. "Well keep those thoughts to yourself when we are visiting."

Eddie and Jamie went through the check out and packed their items in one large back. They got into the car and headed for Lila and Steven's house. They could hear both babies crying as they approached the front door.

Jamie and Eddie exchanged looks, was it possible the Tenneys were right and Steven and Lila were too young for this. Jamie could handle their financial problems but if they weren't able to sooth their own babies, perhaps he had been wrong to argue so fervently.

Eddie let them in with the key Lila gave her when they moved in. Lila had both babies in their bouncy chairs using her hands to rock them. One was crying louder than the other.

"Oh Mom, Dad, thank God. They won't stop and when I called the house Grandpa said to put the babies in the dryer!"

Jamie laughed, "Not IN it, on it and it does work. Worked for you." Jamie leaned over and picked up his granddaughter. "What's this fuss about?" Jamie positioned the girl on his shoulder and walked evenly in a 4 by 4 inch square. "What is it?" Jamie hadn't had Reagan in his arms for a minute before her cries died down to mewls. Eddie was having the same results with Finn.

"They hate me," Lila whined. Steven went out, they were crying so much it was keeping him up and he has to go back to work tomorrow.

"They don't hate you," Eddie soothed. "But if you were trying to make Jiffy Pop out of me, I'd probably be screaming at you too. Soothing motions, calm voices…"

"I had been walking them since their feedings and they didn't stop crying since they finished."

"Did you burp them?' Jamie asked. "Sometimes they need to do more than one burp."

"I did and they both did burps then cried some more." Lila was starting to cry now herself.

"How often are you changing them?"

"Finn had three wet diapers and a dirty and Reagan had two dirties and two wets," Lila reported.

"Then they are fed enough," Eddie replied. "Really honey, just relax more and maybe the don't like to bounce just yet."

Eddie handed Lila a now sleeping Reagan. "Just hold her still, don't' move her so much. You might have two very calm babies."

Lila sniffled, "They aren't calm for me. They just cry all the time, Mom. That's when Steven is home. I don't know how I'm going to do this tomorrow night."

Jamie and Eddie shared a knowing look. They loved Lila to pieces but they had sheltered her, especially after Eddie got sick. "Mom and I will come over and held you with their bedtime and bath," Jamie said. "You'll get the hang of it the hard you try. Stop being afraid, Kitten."

Jamie placed Reagan down in her bouncy chair but left the chair still, the baby slept on. "Can't I stay over at your place just for the first few weeks?"

"We'll have to talk about that honey," Jamie replied. "You have to learn to handle the babies. Mom and I will be here tomorrow night to help you all right?""

Lila sighed, "Thanks, guys. I'm just so tired they are up all the time to nurse."

Eddie nodded, "They are sleeping now, why don't you stretch out on the couch, you'll hear them if they cry. I'll come over later to check on you. I love you." Eddie gave Lila a big hug. "Oh I almost forgot, Jamie the bag."

"Mom and I decided to spoil the twins a little," Jamie smiled handing Lila the bag of goodies. "But I think you should rest now and look later. They won't be sleeping for long being breast fed. Joey was and you weren't…he ate a lot more than you did." Jamie gave Lila a hug and kiss before taking Eddie and heading home holding her arm.

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter of this story and added it to favorites or alerts. Special thanks to Lawslave and Yanks20 for their help with this story.**

 **Next Update – July 19** **th** **– Eddie learns some hard truths from Linda.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Where's Erin?" Linda asked Eddie when they sat down for lunch a few days later.

"I don't know," Eddie replied. "I think she might have gone up to Nikki's for a little bit. She just said she was going to be out of touch for a couple days which I found odd given there are brand new babies in the family and Erin has always been a sucker for anything cute and cuddly."

"How's Lila doing? I had a run for my money with one at a time," Linda remembered laughing.

"She's battling," Eddie sighed. "She's in over her head a little bit. Jamie and I have been there daily, several times a day."

"She's lucky to have you guys," Linda replied as their lunch came.

"I had you and Erin to help and Pop…He was there I think pretty much all day every day the first week after I had Joe, and now…he's getting married too."

"I know, you'll see though, it's not so hard being the mother of the groom," Linda laughed. Jack's wedding was just six months away.

"Except that Molly's family is all in Ireland and we just talked yesterday about me helping with more of the planning," Eddie sighed. "I'm glad to do it, I am and I'm glad to help Lila too, but by the end of the day I'm exhausted. Jamie…"

Linda had seen the tension the last few weeks, since before the twins were born. Danny had confided in her that Jamie was concerned about his wife and the way she was reacting to the latest changes in her body.

"Jamie's working hard, I know," Linda replied. "Jack says between this issue with Erin and that boys and girls club and the serial robberies…I know you're worried."

The look on Eddie's face told Linda she had said the wrong thing. Her jaw set and her eyes flashed, "Jamie is working this hard because…"

"Oh, Eddie, I thought you knew. Danny told me Jamie was thinking of stepping down when the twins were born but then the family name…"

Eddie slammed her fist on the table as tears threatened, "Damn the Reagan name, that is going to put my Jamie in the hospital again or the grave. Damn it…"

"I'm sorry, Eddie. Take a breath, I'm sure Jamie was planning on telling you once he found a replacement for Detective Meyers."

Eddie's eyes about bugged out of her head. "Meyers is leaving? Jamie never told me that! What else is he lying about?"

Linda reached across the table and took Eddie's hand. "I'm sure he's not lying to you honey. So much has been going on maybe it slipped his mind to tell you about Meyers."

Eddie took a long breath, "That man has a mind like a steal trap, he didn't forget anything. He's leaving things out on purpose."

Linda tried her best to soothe Eddie, "Let's talk about happier things. Jack mentioned to me he and Rita were thinking of asking Joey and Molly about having a double ceremony."

Eddie did her best to participate in the conversation about the possibility of Joey and Molly joining in with Jack and Rita. She wanted her boy to have his own special day, but if he wanted to have a double wedding she would bless it.

After lunch, Eddie returned home Frank was resting in the recliner and looked up when he heard her. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" Frank asked seeing Eddie's face. His breathing was very shallow and Eddie turned attention to that.

"Dad, your chest is all tight. Did you take your medicine today?"

Frank nodded, "Yes, now stop. What is wrong?"

Eddie sighed taking a seat across from him on the couch. "Just something that happened, it's nothing."

Frank offered a smile, leaning forward to talk with her. "You're my daughter Eddie, you can talk with me."

Eddie smiled gratefully always seeing Frank as a father. "Thanks Frank, it's just Jamie never told me Meyers was leaving, he's holding things back from me."

Frank took as deep a breath as it was possible for him to take then took Eddie's hands into his, "Jamie has been so worried about you, Eddie. He's very concerned that stress is going to pile up on you and that it will be too much for you to bare. Jamie can handle anything but losing you."

Eddie looked down at their joined hands, "I used to think that was true. Frank, he's working some kind of case that has to do with one of our family and he didn't…"

Frank's body language told Eddie he also knew about Erin's debacle. "Why have I been kept on the outside for this?"

Frank sighed, "Eddie, you and Erin never got along well. Jamie and I were both worried that it would be upsetting for you."

"I'm not some shrinking violet!" Eddie snapped as Frank broke into a fit of coughing. Eddie stood up and moved to rub his back. "Easy Dad, it's okay, I'll work it out with Jamie okay? Don't get upset."

Eddie massaged Frank's back and rubbed some of the menthol onto his chest. She turned up the oxygen flow and switched him to the mask for a little while. "Try to rest. What if I make chicken and dumplings and I shred up the chicken really good?"

Frank smiled, "With pepper?" he asked hopeful.

"I'll see what I can do."

Eddie headed to the kitchen and began working on dinner. She didn't call Jamie to check on him like she had been doing. Frank took a nap while Eddie called to check on Lila. The twins were sleeping at the same time, a feat for the young mother. Eddie promised to come over later to see her grandchildren.

Jamie did not come home in time for dinner, Eddie ate with Frank then drove him the two blocks to Lila's to visit his great grandchildren. "Oh, my pretty girl," he cooed at Reagan. "How are you feeling sweetie pie?"

"I'm feeling better and I think that at least the night's Steven is home I have this Mommy bit down, but he's gone tomorrow night…"

"You can stay with us," Eddie told Lila. "Until you get a better schedule. I can help you and I know Grandpa would love it too."

Lila smiled watching Frank fuss at both her newborns. "Where's Daddy?" Lila asked just as Eddie's phone rang. "Speak of the devil. Hello."

"Hey, honey, where are you? Are you and Dad okay?"

"Nice of you to notice we're not home," Eddie almost snapped. "You aren't home for dinner, you don't call…We are at Lila's. Dinner is in the fridge. As soon as I come home, I'm going to bed."

Eddie hung up and lifted Finn, "You and sissy are going to sleep of Grandma's tomorrow. Yes you are…" Eddie put a kiss on Finn's tiny head.

Eddie supervised the twins final feeding and bedtime then took Frank home. Jamie was washing his dish from dinner when they came in. Eddie sent Frank to do his breathing treatments, when he was finished she would help fix his C-pap so he slept without pain. Eddie could tell from Jamie's body language how angry he was with her.

"You just up and leave the house now?" he snapped. "Late at night, not even a plate in the warmer, you and dad, just gone."

Eddie crossed her arms, "I would not choose now as the time for insolence, Jamison. Erin is the reason you haven't retired and you never told me! Meyers is leaving so you don't have a reliable chief of staff and you never told me! That's the same as lying to me Jamie!"

Jamie sighed, "Eddie, so much of the stuff with Erin is confidential right now..."

"CONFIDENTIAL! Confidential is something you hide behind with the DA or some other government entity, I am you wife. You don't do CONFIDENTIAL with me!"

Jamie tried to close the gap and put his arms around Eddie to calm her but she backed away, "No. You don't get to sideline me like this and come in and get all snuggly. We never did this Jamie, not since I got sick did we ever do this!"

The tears had built up behind Eddie's eyes and were now spilling down in spite of her best effort not to show them to Jamie. "Eddie, look at you," Jamie sighed. "Look at how upset...I didn't want for you to get upset that's all. With the babies being newborn and you focusing on helping Lila..."

"Jamie..." Eddie sighed. "You lied to me about Erin, and I'm sensitive about her so maybe you think you are protecting me, but what about Meyers?"

Jamie sighed, "I was just waiting for the right time. I wanted to ask you to come back at least for a little while...but I know with the babies and dad it's not possible now. I have no idea what I plan to do about that yet and I...Eddie, please. Please let me..."

Eddie stepped closer, being mad at Jamie was only upsetting him and the whole reason she was upset at him for working so much was because upset was bad for his health. She didn't retreat or balk this time when he went to hold her. Eddie let Jamie envelope her in his arms. "It scares the life out of me when I see you struggling to get out of bed or when your back is hurting and it's hard for you to walk. I don't want to put more burdens on you."

"Jamie," Eddie sighed as she stood in his arms. "We're supposed to share burdens and problems. Stop shutting me out please, I can't…"

Jamie sighed and rocked his wife in his arms. He hated that he hurt her so badly. "Eddie, I wish I could tell you everything about Erin, but I can't. It's not a trust thing between me and you it's just I want you to have deniability if it gets out beyond the confines of the family."

"Jamie, you know it will," Eddie sighed pulling away from him. "Why don't you go upstairs, take off your brace, put your leg up…I'll come up and help you get ready for bed in a few minutes."

Jamie stroked Eddie's hair, "All right. Maybe bring some tea?"

Eddie nodded and started the water boiling while she checked on Frank. "Listen to him," Frank told Eddie as she secured the C-Pap to his face.

"I will, Dad," Eddie replied. She adjusted the back of his bed so it was slightly raised. "You see the pulmonologist on Friday, we'll see about something else to relax your breathing. You sleep well and call for me if you need." Eddie kissed Frank's head and started upstairs once the tea was brewed.

Jamie was lying in bed, his bad leg up on two pillows. The skin was red where the brace rubbed against his sock. "You keep working so hard, Jamie and you get yourself sick…you have your sister come nurse you this time and turn you into an invalid. I can't and won't watch you go through that again." Even as Eddie said this she fluffed his pillow and got the ointment they used on his legs.

"Eddie, I promise you I'm not going to push it. I have some really smart and strong up an coming detectives interviewing for Meyers job. I'm going to use their skills to help me, as long as we stick together, Jack and me at work and you and me at home and I'll get through, we all will."

Eddie laid down next to Jamie, placing her head on his shoulder. "Promise me," she whispered. "Promise me that if it gets too much you turn it over to Jack. Promise me if it comes down to choosing between the family name and our family, you choose us. Promise me."

Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head, "You don't have to ask me that. You know my name means the world to me, but you Eddie…you're my life. How are the grandbabies?"

Eddie smiled thinking of her precious little loves. "I told Lila she could stay here tomorrow with the twins. Steven is gone overnight. She did well the last two days."

Jamie sighed, "Please don't overdo it."

Eddie nodded and rolled on her side to try to sleep. She was still so angry and hurt…as soon Jamie began to softly snore, Eddie began to softly cry.

 **A/N: Trouble in paradise…Many of you guessed it was health related, and in a way you are right. Eddie is very worried about Jamie continuing to work…and what is going on with Erin? She got herself in some hot water this time…**

 **Next Update – July 22** **nd** **– Jack and Rita offer Joey and Molly something special, Lila voices concerns while spending the day with her mother.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Eddie cried herself to sleep that night and tossed and turned once she dropped off. Her left arm was pinned between her body and the bed when she did settle down, something that Dr. Brady warned her would always present a problem, for when Eddie woke, her arm was swollen to twice the size it should be. Eddie swore and pushed Jamie awake, "Jamie, I need your help."

Jamie startled and looked at the clock, it was time for him to get up and start another long day. "What's wrong?"

"I slept wrong," Eddie sighed. "I need you to wrap my arm."

Jamie sat up and got out of bed taking careful steps without his aids. "Oh my God…this…You need to call Dr. Brady right away. Call his service."

"Jamie, I just slept wrong. Let's wrap it for now, I'll do my sleeve and rest it and it'll be just fine, I promise." Eddie kissed Jamie's cheek, whenever she started to doubt he still loved her, he would react like this to something simple.

Jamie helped Eddie wrap the arm and insisted on fixing breakfast so she could prop it on pillows. "Dad, please look after her today. Lila is coming over around noon with the twins, so she can help, but please make sure okay?"

Frank nodded, "Of course I will. You have to think more clearly Jamie. You have to think about how your choices effect everyone, not just you, not just Erin. You have your wife at sixty two, I didn't. Just take my advice and don't argue for once."

Jamie sighed, "Okay, Dad. I will consider it as soon as this thing with Erin is cleared up. The evidence we have that points to her is...Whoever did this is very good. I'm going to coordinate with Jack and if I have to pull Joe off SVU to work this case I will."

Jamie handed Frank a plate, "I'm going to bring this in to Eddie. Thanks for taking care of her for me."

Jamie brought Eddie a plate of egg whites, tomatoes, and green peppers with turkey bacon. "Here's your tea and I'm going to get your juice and milk."

Eddie smiled, "Jamie, you don't have to wait on me hand and foot. I slept on my arm and it's swollen now that's all."

Jamie sighed and sat down for a minute, "You're right. I never should have kept it things from you, but I need at least some of us to have plausible deniability when and if it hits the fan. It's a scandal that can hurt all of us. Please trust me Eddie."

Eddie took Jamie's hand, "I want to, but lies of omission are still lies. It took you a while to trust me after I kept my illness from you, we pulled together to fight but there was still a distance."

Jamie conceded there was with a nod of his head. "We got through that, we came out stronger. We'll get through this too." Jamie stood up, "Rest that arm today I told Dad to keep his eye on you."

At the 2-7, Joey was at his desk coming over the robbery reports again. Anse shook his head watching his partner and friend, "Joe, you do remember we work sex crimes, right?"

Joey nodded, "Yes, I do but something just isn't sitting right with me. My cousin Jack brought these cases in here for a reason. Check this out…" Joey rolled his chair over to Anse's desk. "All of them professional men, no memory of the incident…and now two of them had some kind of medical reaction…guess what the drug is…Rohynol. I think this might be an SVU, I want to dig a little deeper."

Anse sighed, "Joey Reagan down the rabbit hole, but you're right, it does feel a little funky to me too."

The two men read the case files over together until Anse looked up and saw Molly in the door way. "Reagan, your girl is here."

Joey stood up and went over to Molly, "Hey, you ready?" Joey asked giving her a tight hug. "We are off to meet Jack and Rita for lunch to discuss the wedding. Happy reading."

Anse laughed and turned back to the work he had on the table. Joey wasn't often wrong with his instincts. Such an instinct about a young, autistic witness just a few months ago had put a child rapist in Sing Sing for life. Anse packed up the files to read at home, if there was something going on, he would figure it out, he and Joey.

Joey parked at a public lot down the street from the restaurant where he and Molly were going to meet Jack and Rita.

"I hope they will ask us to do a double wedding," Molly said and she held Joey's hand and walked across the way. "I don't want to wait too long and I don't have much to contribute."

"Hey," Joey whispered as he paused to pull Molly close. "You and I will have the wedding we deserve. I have some savings and my folks will help honey."

Molly smiled, "I know it. I can't wait to be Molly Reagan."

Joey kissed Molly softly. "I can't wait either. Let's go, I bet Jack is already there."

Joey was correct, Jack and Rita already had a table and a pitcher of beer. After everyone said hello, Rita looked over at Molly. "It's no lie that you and I have become really close since Joey started to date you. I really wanted to ask you to be my Maid of Honor…"

Molly smiled, "Oh Rita, I'd love…"

"But I'm not going to ask you anymore," Rita finished. "Because it is really hard to be a Maid of Honor when you are also a bride. Jack and I would really love it if you both joined us when we get married in April."

Molly squealed with delight and rushed to hug Rita. Joey met Jack's eyes, "You made her day, she was so worried how things would go. I'd be honored to be married at the same time as you are Jack."

Jack smiled wide, "Good, then it's settled. My mom will be thrilled. We all like the same things so…Oh, did Sean talk to you? He treated one of the guys from the mysterious robberies for the rohypnol allergy. He was going to send you the medical report."

"Not yet, but I left a little early today. I'll check with the messenger tomorrow, but Jack, I'm telling you there is something else going on there. Something very fishy."

Jack nodded, "Well, I have every confidence my best team will get to the bottom of it. Now, if you two are done gushing, we're hungry over here."

The ladies turned back and they couple ordered their meal.

"Warm the water up just a little bit," Eddie gently advised Lila as she helped her bath the babies that afternoon. "That's perfect and just wash with the mitten, you can get into their little crevices and not manipulate them as much."

Jamie and Eddie had talked about not helping Lila too much with the babies, but Eddie didn't feel that included teaching her daughter things, so Eddie sat on the bed with her arm up on pillows ignoring the pain and verbally directed Lila on how to bathe little Reagan while she held Finn with her good arm. "If you can do her then I'll walk you through him, boy's are a little tricky."

"I know," Lila laughed. "He got Steven earlier today when he wasn't fast enough with the diaper. Dad told me once the Joey shorted out of wall clock."

"I don't think he quite shorted it out but he did get a few good licks in while Dad and I were learning. Now Dad's an old hand at baby things."

Lila smiled remembering her parents with her new babies the day they were born. She marveled at how Jamie and Eddie could anticipate the babies' needs, she should be able to do that but she still wasn't. Lila could anticipate her mother's needs though and she could see an intense emotional pain masking her physical one. "Mom, is everything okay with you and Dad? Every time you mentioned him today you got this look in your eye."

Eddie sighed, "Everything will be fine, honey. You have your babies to worry about, not your old lady."

"Mom…" Lila sighed and looked up at Eddie. "What's going on?"

Lila wrapped baby Reagan in a towel and put her in her baby chair while she got her clothing set up.

"Dad and I have been arguing some more lately," Eddie confessed. "It's nothing that we can't solve or that won't pass, so don't worry. In fact, he fussed all over me this morning when he saw my arm. I got a little jealous again and Dad got a little secretive but it's okay. Now, dress that baby girl before she gets her first chill."

With Eddie's advice, Lila got Finn washed and into his new clothes. With both babies fed, clean, and content, Lila stood up and smiled. Eddie barely had to do anything. "Lila, in that box over there, there's a purple blanket, can you get it for me?"

Lila's brown creased, "Are you cold Mom? It's not cold…"

"No, I'm not, just please bring it. It should be on top."

Lila opened the trunk Eddie indicate and took the soft blanket out, then handed it to her mother.

"When I was two years old, I had some terrible nightmares, night terrors really. My mom was often ill and didn't always have the strength to get up with me, so when I had bad dreams or would get hurt, I would toddle out of my bed and go to grandpa Peter. He would do his Daddy thing, scaring the bad things away, kissing the ouches…He told me, when he gave me this blanket, that nothing could hurt me if I had it on. I want you to have this, and when Reagan and Finn have bad dreams you can wrap it around them all safe and warm and tell them everything is going to be okay."

Eddie's eyes filled as she remembered those special moments with her father. Lila's misted at making a special memory with her mother. "Are you sure?"

Eddie nodded, "I'm sure. They are my first born grandchildren, take it…I'll be upset if you don't."

Lila hugged Eddie tight. "Let's go downstairs so we can check on grandpa, I'll fix us a nice dinner so you can rest your arm and play grandma."

Eddie smiled, that sounded like a great idea to her.

Lila made pork roast with mushrooms and Dijon gravy. Jamie called to check on Eddie and say he'd be home in time for supper. While they were waiting for the meat to be done, Lila went to help Eddie with her lymphedema sleeve. She gasped when she took her arm out of her blouse.

"Mom, this is really bad," Lila sighed looked at Eddie's arm now red and swollen almost triple it's size. "You need to see a doctor now. It's burning hot to the touch."

Eddie sighed, "It's nothing, honey. It's just a blockage that's all. It barely hurts." To make a liar out of herself, Eddie hissed in pain when Lila gently bumped into her arm. "You are sweaty, you are pale…"

Eddie took a deep breath or tried to but her chest felt very sore and tight.

"Lila Joy, I am telling you that it's all right. Please stop fussing at me, I slept on my arm last night, that's all this is."

Lila didn't buy it, she didn't buy a lot of what Eddie had told her today. Lila knew there were problems in her parents' marriage, she could read the tension in both of them. She also knew her mother's arm was in bad shape and in need of attention.

"Mom, you need to see a doctor, right now. If you keep refusing, I'm going to call Aunt Linda or worse I'll call Dad and Joey and let them convince you!" Lila look at her two sleeping babies. "Grandpa, can you handle the twins if I take Mom to the emergency…"

"I'm not going to the emergency room," Eddie insisted as Jamie came in from work bearing a smile. "Oh there they are, my two precious…Oh my God!"

Eddie sighed at her husband's reaction not wanting to make a huge deal about a simple blockage. "Jamie."

Jamie put his briefcase down on the couch and approached his wife, eyes wide at the state of her arm. "Eddie, you have to get that looked at. Now."

"It's fine Jamie…" Eddie protested though it was getting harder to breathe each minute.

"No, it isn't you're getting it looked at, we can reheat the dinner for later." Eddie sighed seeing Jamie wasn't giving in.

Wrapping an arm to support her, Jamie walked Eddie to the car, opening the door for her holding her hand the whole way.

 **A/N: It is not over even when you hear the word "remission". The part that threatens you directly might be, but cancer patients always have to be aware of what their surgeries, chemotherapies, and radiations did to their bodies, then live every minutes to the fullest.**

 **I am so pleased that this story is so well received. I am touched with all of the reviews and pms I am receiving. Much of Eddie's journey through this, both the cancer and the things she copes with physically and emotionally are parts of a personal journey so it means a lot to me to have so many people reading and feeling this with Eddie and with me.**

 **Next Updated – July 25** **th** **– The family begins to gather at the hospital as the doctors reveal it is much more than a simple blockage.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

By the time Jamie got Eddie to the hospital, she was sweating and having a hard time drawing a deep breath. Jamie pulled into the emergency bay and put his commissioner's sticker in the front window. "Be still, I'm going to get a stretcher. Try to take short breaths."

Jamie hurried to the hospital door, Eddie knew how worried he was by how much he limped and right now his limp was the most pronounced she'd seen it in a while. Jamie walked up to the desk, "I'm Police Commissioner Jamison Reagan, my wife Eddie is in the car. She has severe lymphedema in her left arm and it's swollen up really bad, it's red and she's having trouble breathing. The arm is very hot…please help her."

"Of course," the nurse replied ordering a transport team to the car. "Sir, are you all right?" Jamie was breathless and his bad side was still shaky.

"Oh, yes, I…I had a stroke two years ago and when I have to hurry my leg…My wife please…"

The nurse supervised the transport and went back to the treatment room with Eddie while Jamie went to move his car. Eddie knew she was in trouble when an oxygen mask showed up and medications began to run into her veins. "I want…Jamie…" she slurred as everything around her went black.

Joey's cell phone began to ring as he finished his dinner with Jack, Rita, and his fiancée Molly. "It's my sister…" Joey told them and answered. "Hey Lila, can I call you back?"

"Joe, you have to get to the hospital, Lutheran. Dad just took Mom there. Her arm swelled up and by the time they left she was breathing funny. She said it's just a regular blockage but I don't think so. I can't leave I have grandpa and the twins will need to nurse…"

"I'm on my way, I'll call…" Joey stood up. "Molly, we have to go. My Dad just took Mom to the hospital."

Jack stood up as well, and tracked down the waiter. "Check please, family emergency. We'll go to the house so if Lila has to leave someone is with Grandpa."

Joey smiled at his cousin, "Thanks, and call Sean. If he's off duty maybe he can come by the hospital too. They never rushed her to the hospital for her arm before."

Jack nodded and texted his brother while Joey and Molly headed off for the emergency room holding hands. "She might have an infection, Joseph," Molly told him. "Or her blockage is running into another blockage, she might need to have it drained."

Joey only nodded, fixated now on reaching the hospital where his mother was. When Joey and Molly arrived they found Jamie sitting in the waiting room. "Dad, Lila called us. How is she?"

"Dr. Brady is in with her right now," Jamie sighed. "She has a blood clot in her arm and all the lymphedema is just washing back and forth behind it. He's doing a filtration now to remove the clot then he's going to keep her a few days to see how she does."

Joey sat down next to Jamie and started to rub his back. "Take a deep breath, Mom is in the best hands, she really is. You know how good a doctor Dr. Brady is."

Molly had gone to get Jamie a cup of water. "It isn't uncommon for this to happen, if Eddie is under stress or…"

"It's all my fault," Jamie sighed. "It's my fault, we've been fighting and…"

"Dad, you and Mom have stubborn tempers. Things happen, don't worry. Just take a deep breath, okay. It's not your fault."

Joey texted Lila their mother's status then sat with Jamie until Sean arrived. "Uncle Jamie, Jack told me what happened. Let me see if Dr. Brady will let me look at her chart."

Sean went back and got a glance at Eddie's admission sheet. He scanned it and frowned, his uncle was not going to like this, Eddie's blood counts were so out of whack it was a wonder she hadn't had a serious clot before now. Sean saw Dr. Brady working diligently and had a seat by his uncle. "Uncle Jamie, I think you need to be prepared for a difficult road. Aunt Eddie's blood, is very thick and it's going to have to be thinned out so that she doesn't have more serious blood clots later. It's good she got the lymphedema flare up now before the clot went to her brain or her heart."

"Will she be okay, Sean?" Joey asked knowing Jamie didn't have the strength to do it.

"I think so," Sean replied. "They are going to suck the clot out of her arm and when she's stronger which might not be for a little bit yet, they'll put in a filter to prevent future clots. They'll also start her on blood thinners which have to be monitored but I can help you."

Jamie took a couple of breaths, "Joe, call and update your sister and Sean, can you call your father for me?"

"He's on his way, try to breathe deeply, Uncle Jamie. You having a spell is not going to help Aunt Eddie, she needs you to be strong for her now."

Danny arrived ten minutes later, "Linda went to the house to help Lila. How you doing Kid?"

Jamie looked at his older brother and Danny nodded. He reached down and took Jamie under his arm to a quiet corner of the hospital. Jamie couldn't break in front of Joey and the watchful eyes of the nurses. It would be a headline, "NYPD Commissioner reduced to tears."

Once in private, Danny slid his arms around Jamie, "She's going to be okay, Jamie. This is not your fault, Kid. This is not your fault, it's from the cancer, it's all from the damn cancer, it was the cancer's fault."

In his older brother's embrace Jamie felt better, that he could bare up and handled Eddie's illness and the rest of the things on his place. "Thanks, Danny. We've been having problems, our marriage was so strong but lately…we're in trouble, we're having trouble."

"I know, I can see it but you'll work it out, Jamie," Danny said firmly. "You two love each other so much, it's like nothing I've ever seen even with me and Linda. You will work it out. Take a breath, let's wait for Eddie."

Jamie paced the rest of the time Eddie was in surgery, checking the clock every two minutes.

After a long two hours, a nurse called Jamie back. Eddie was done in surgery and being wheeled back in from recovery. "She'll be very weak for some time," her nurse advised.

The nurse carefully shifted Eddie onto the bed working quickly seeing the nervous look on the older man's face.

Jamie reached for Eddie's hand giving it a squeeze. "Hey Eddie, I'm here. I know you're in pain but you'll be okay."

Jamie sighed when she didn't answer sitting on the bed holding her hand. "I know things haven't been great with us lately, baby, but I'm going to make it better. I'm so sorry…" Jamie placed Eddie's hand on his cheek as tears fell down his face.

"You silly man," Eddie croaked out a few minutes later. "Silly Irish men always cry."

"You scared me," Jamie whispered softly. "I thought I was going to lose you. Don't do that again, I can't…"

Eddie smiled, "See what I have to do …." She took a breath already feeling so weak. "To get you to realize…"

Jamie shook his head, "You are my world, you Joey, Lila and those babies. Do you want to see Joe? He's outside with Danny, Sean, Jack…"

Eddie shook her head, "Don't leave me, please don't leave me…"

"I won't, I promise," Jamie whispered. "Linda is with Lila and the twins. Everything is going to be just fine. Close your eyes now and rest."

Jamie settled in beside Eddie and kept her hand in his. Sean came in with Dr. Brady, conferring over Eddie's labs. She would remain in the hospital for several days to get her on the proper medications. The lymphedema complicated her clotting disorder, she acquired this from her kidney pills which were necessary because of her cancer treatments, Danny was right, it went back to the cancer.

"Stress and fatigue can lead to a further breakdown in the blood and that will also lead to clotting disorders, either too thick or too thin, both are dangerous," Sean explained. "Aunt Eddie needs to try to relax and not overdo it even as a new grandma."

Jamie nodded, "She's so weak, she…"

"It's the medication" Dr. Brady explained. "When she's awake, encourage her to drink as much as you can get into her, she's dehydrated and significantly malnourished."

"She's so upset by her weight gain and she's trying so hard to lose."

"That's not the issue here, she's not overweight from bad eating habits," Dr. Brady sighed. "We'll work on that when she's better. Keep her quiet, keep her still…get her to drink when she's awake."

Jamie nodded and turned back to his wife. "Uncle Jamie, Joey is dying to see Aunt Eddie and Lila is here now too just for a little bit until she has to go home and feed. Can I send them in?"

Jamie nodded and turned back to Eddie, "The kids are going to come in now to see you, sweetheart."

Joey walked in a minute later with his arms around Lila. Eddie looked so still and fragile. Joey had a distinct image of her curled in bed after horrible chemo sessions but Lila didn't. She shook at the sight of her Mom with her arm bandaged and elevated, lying pale against the sheets, her golden hair a contrast between her face and the hospital bed linens. "Mommy?"

"She's asleep still, Kitten," Jamie whispered gently. "She's sleeping from the medicine but she'll be all right. It'll be a couple days in the hospital, that's all." Jamie pulled Lila close and held her tight. She burrowed against her father and sniffled, "I told her to go earlier, Dad."

"I know you did, Kitten. Mom's just not wanting to stop and take care of herself much. When she's better, we have to help her feel better about herself inside that might help her. Joe, you too."

Joey nodded moving to stroke Eddie's hair, "I'm here, Mom. Rest easy. I love you. I'm going to help Lila out, you worry about getting well."

Lila was crying too hard to go near her mother, when she let go of Jamie, Joey led her out of the room. Jamie sat down and took Eddie's hand, putting his feet up on the edge of her bed, settling in for the duration.

Three hours later, Eddie stirred and moaned softly. Jamie sat up straight, touching her cheek. "Nurse!" Jamie called out getting up quickly and almost falling down. "Nurse!"

Eddie's nurse hurried to the distraught husband, "Her arm is swelled even more now and she's burning up with fever!"

"Of course, Mr. Reagan. We'll page her doctor immediately. Try to get her to take some water."

Jamie hurried back to Eddie's side, "Come on baby, drink. Drink as much as you can."

"Jamie…" Eddie smiled and looked up at Jamie with a near reverence.

"I'm here, I'm not leaving you…Drink for me now, my love."

Eddie took two cups of water before her doctor arrived to examine her. "It's cellulitis Mr. Reagan," Dr. Brady announced. "I'll page infectious disease and order some antibiotics, but this delays the surgery for the blood clot filter. We'll have to watch her carefully."

Jamie nodded and sat down, he texted Joey the latest and Danny. He got a text back from his brother, "I'm coming in, I never left the waiting room." Jamie smiled thankful once again for his big family.

 **A/N: I am overwhelmed by the response to this story. I do not think I've had this many reviews on a story ever this early on. Thank you all so much, I promise it only gets crazier and wilder from here. The title One of Our Own can apply to several people…**

 **For those who asked about Erin's innocence, let's say her involvement was not necessarily intentional…Can't give too much away, but the title doesn't apply to Erin or to Eddie, but to another Reagan.**

 **Next Update – July 28** **th** **– Lila and Frank keep the home fires burning, Danny steps in to hold up his brother, and Joey and Lila discuss their parents recent discord.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"They won't stop, Grandpa," Lila sobbed as both her babies angrily kicked and wailed. "Why don't they stop crying for me, why only Mom?"

Frank sighed getting up slowly, "Because you are panicking, honey and you are under stress. Try to take a couple of breaths before you lift one of them. If you aren't calm, they won't be calm." Frank stooped and picked up little Reagan and put her on his shoulder. She quieted almost immediately. "You see. Strong firm hands, she feels secure. Try now with Finn."

Lila leaned down and reached for Finn putting him up on her shoulder. "It's okay, baby boy. Grandma is going to be just fine, don't cry."

"That's a girl, use your voice to soothe them. I know you're worried about your mother honey, but she's going to be all right, angel."

"How did Aunt Erin handle it when Grandma died?" Lila asked as she opened her blouse to nurse her newborn son.

"She was sad, we all were sad honey. It's hard to lose a parent, when you lose your mom or your dad it's going to hurt, I won't lie, but you're a Reagan first, and you'll get through it."

Lila sighed. "I don't feel much like a Reagan, Grandpa. I feel like…I don't know."

Frank laid Reagan down in the baby chair and hugged his grandbaby, "I know it's hard Lila Joy. Pop-Pop is going to make it all right. Your Mommy is going to be all right. I promise you that my girl."

As Frank rocked Lila, he remembered her only as being his baby, his youngest grandchild. She needed him to be there for her, to be strong and capable. He felt like she was a tiny girl again when Eddie had been admitted to the hospital for morphine during her chemo. Then all he had to do was rock her and things would be all right. Maybe now that would still work, so Frank rocked while both of his great grandbabies contentedly slept.

Jamie stroked Eddie's hair holding her hand gently eyes closed in prayer for his Eddie to be okay all the while fighting back tears.

"Kid, what's going on?" Danny made a beeline for the bed, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder. When Jamie looked up tears stung his blue eyes surprising Danny. Jamie was used to Eddie's little health hiccups, they had lived with them most of their married life. It was disconcerting that Jamie was near tears now.

"She's so sick, Danny. Cellulitis now, so they can't do that surgery for the clots. They have to monitor her carefully, Danny. She spiked a fever," Jamie recalled what the doctor said, growing more worried about his wife.

Danny sat on the bed wrapping an arm around Jamie to show support, no words needed.

Joe arrived to find his uncle and his father over his mother's bedside. The color in his face drained as he went over. "Dad?"

Danny turned to Joey, shielding Jamie from his son's view. "Your Mom's worse, Joe," Danny said gently. She's running a high fever so she has to be watched carefully. Your Dad's just taking it a little hard, she's not in real danger."

"Uncle Danny," Joey sighed. He stepped closer to the bed, "Mom, it's Joey. I just called and Lila has the babies crying again. Those little ones won't see their first birthday without their grandma helping out. Poor things, Lila's dolls used to cry when she was playing with them."

Jamie tried to laugh at Joey trying to joke but it came out a choked sob. Joe filled a basin with cool water and wiped Eddie's face. "There, that's going to feel better. You need to wake up so you can drink, Mom."

Eddie heard her son's gentle voice and felt Jamie's hand. She pushed her tired eyes open and smiled at Joey, "Take care of him, Joe…Please…"

Joey panicked a little, "You're not going anywhere Mom."

Eddie laughed, "I know…I know…but Dad is stubborn, he's tired…take care of him. Danny, you listen, take him to rest. Joe is here with me."

"Eddie, I'm not leaving you now," Jamie said firmly. "Take some more water. Joey, hold her head."

Eddie obediently drank the water and fell back against the bed. "So hot…"

Jamie smiled down at her, "I know, sweetheart. It's cellulitis again, but you're on medication and it will pass, I promise. Don't worry about anything, it's all under control."

Eddie smiled and weakly reached out her hand for Jamie trying to touch his cheek. "I want to go home, please, Jamie."

"I know, but you can't go home sweetie," Jamie soothed. "Please honey, don't fuss, save your strength."

Eddie fell asleep again with Jamie's hand firmly in hers. Jamie looked up at Joey and Danny. "Looks like she's going to need me to stay with her at least overnight. Danny can you please talk to Jack and have him coordinate with Meyers…it's her last week but I have to be here. Joseph, coordinate with Jack as well on the robberies you mentioned to us and the Boys and Girls Club investigation. Do NOT let that leak. Do you understand? The scandal will destroy us."

Joey nodded and Danny headed off to help his brother the only way he really could. Joey looked at his exhausted father, "Dad what if you at least get coffee then I'll go okay? I'm here with mom, she's okay." Joe saw how tired his father was anytime he fussed over Eddie.

Jamie hesitated but nodded, first kissing Eddie's head. "I'll be right back."

Joe took his mother's hand smiling at her. "Hey, mom I know you're going to be okay. Molly and me we're going to marry in April with Jack and Rita. She doesn't have her Mom here, she'll need help."

Eddie weakly looked up at him using whatever strength she had to squeeze his hand. "My Joe, my boy."

Smiling, Joe brushed a hand across his face fighting back tears. "Yeah, that's right. I promise you Mom, I'm going to give you tons more grandchildren. Molly and I want a huge family."

Eddie smiled and shut her eyes, "You were always such a good little boy. So sweet, caring so much for your Mommy. When's Daddy going to be home?"

Joey's heart stopped, "Mom, you're in the hospital, Dad just went to get a coffee."

Eddie was delirious, caught back in a time when things were good and calm. When her children were young and she felt her marriage was strong and happy. She was in such turmoil lately, this was a happier and safer place.

"Oh…" Eddie sighed and shut her eyes. She saw her littles ones running about, playing and smiling. "Who's watching Lila?"

"Grandpa is there and Aunt Linda, I'm sure they are spoiling the babies and Lila is getting rest." Joe stroked Eddie's hair.

Jamie was back quickly with a sandwich and cup of coffee for him and for Joey. Eddie had gone back to sleep, sighing as she took each breath. "She's thinking I'm still little," Joey told Jamie. "Is she going to live Dad?"

Jamie nodded, "Yes, she's going to live. The fever is making her hallucinate. Go on home to Molly and check on things at the house. If there's a change either way, I'll tell you."

Joey nodded and hugged Jamie tightly. He kissed Eddie's head then left for his parents' house.

It was very late when Joey and Molly let themselves into the Reagan family home. "I'll go make sure you grandpa is okay, go to your sister. This can't be easy for her."

Joey smiled and gave Molly a hug, he was drawing strength from her to give it to his mother and father. Joey found Lila with little Finn on her breast. She looked tired but at peace with the tiny boy. "Hey, how's Mom?"

Joey sat down by his sister, "She's uh…developed and infection and is on strong meds to combat it and break her fever. Dad's assured me she'll get better but he's really taking it hard."

Lila disconnected Finn from her right breast and switched him to her left, "Well they've been having trouble."

"Trouble?" Joey raised his eyebrow. "Dad seems as dedicated as ever."

"Mom wont' talk about it but she admitted they were fighting a lot, and I've seen it. I've heard her crying at night, I've seen him losing his temper and storming off down here. Maybe, this is just want they need to get things back on track, realize how much they mean to each other."

"I don't think for a minute that they ever forgot that," Joey replied. "I don't know if they are actually having problems or if Mom is jealous of Dad's new assistant. Meyers is breaking the woman in this week, she's smart as a whip but she looks a lot like Mom used to when Dad first met her."

"Oh, that's really just low," Lila sighed. "I can't believe Dad would do something so heartless. Mom is having such a hard time with hos she's looking and feeling and he does that."

"You don't think…" Joey began.

"No, I don't think for a minute but I'm here a lot more than you are and I see how much she's struggling Jamie. I think we need to talk to Dad and ask him to respect Mom and her feelings."

"I think Mom and Dad have been married for thirty year, we need to let them work it out on their own," Joey replied. Reagan began to fuss just as Finn finished. "Can I burp him?"

Lila nodded, "You can change him too if you want while I feed her. Grandpa had two attacks tonight, Aunt Linda was here thank God…"

Joey sighed, so many things were changing. "Well Molly and I are crashing here tonight. In the morning, she'll mind the babies for a bit so I can take you to see Mom. She was talking out of her head and was just so sick tonight, Lil. It was so hard to see her like that."

"She's strong and she has more to live for. You are going to get married, she has new grandchildren…We will make it work, we'll do what she and Dad showed us, pull together. We'll make them proud."

Joey burped his godson and gently changed his little diaper. "I can't wait to have my own. Molly is so excited too."

"I'm excited about what? Oh, can I hold one please, Lila?"

"Sure, Reagan is just finished eating, you can burp her," Lila smiled. "I'm so glad Joey asked you to marry him. You are welcome to any of the stuff I used at my wedding or if you want newer things we can find some great stuff!"

Molly smiled, "I always had brothers, no sisters so I am so glad to have a sister!" Molly snuggle little Reagan in her arms. "And you made the best choice for their godfather, Joseph is a natural with a baby in his arms."

Lila smiled, "Joey was always a great brother. Our Mom was sick when I was really little and he was amazing."

Joey blushed, "You two gushing over me…How's Grandpa?"

"He's good, he's sleeping his breathing is really good and even now and his pulse ox is 97. That's incredible. Let's get some sleep now, Lila is a there a place I can sleep? Joseph and I aren't…"

"Of course, you can take my old room, I'll take Mom and Dad's room and Joey can take the pull out. Let's go…"

It didn't take long for the family to get things settled and soon all of the younger Reagans were sleeping, even the two newest, all with a confidence that things were going to be okay.

Across town at Lutheran hospital, Jamie had slipped into Eddie's hospital bed with his shoes, socks and brace off. He put his sore leg up and sided. "Eddie, I need you so much. I love you so much and I can't…I can't do this without you. My darn leg is so sore, no one to rub it for me with you sick. No one to tie my shoes…no one to tell me it's all right. I need you for so much Eddie. I love you so…"

Eddie heard her Jamie's voice softly in her ear. She sighed in her sleep, all of the fear and rejection she had felt melted in this time he was spending by her side. Eddie hated the fear in Jamie's voice, she hated the pain, she wanted to take it away so badly. Eddie took a breath, dug down deep, and chose that moment to fight with all she had.

 **A/N: Poor Lila, she really thinks her children hate her and Joey thinks it's funny. Jamie is feeling lucky being from a big family, Danny isn't going to leave his little brother to keep vigil alone. And how aboug good old Frank?**

 **Next Update – July 31** **st** **– Joey learns some things about Jamie and develops a new appreciation for his mother.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Jamie camped out at the hospital for two days until Eddie's fever dropped to a more manageable level and she was able to sleep comfortably. The second night she was there Jamie went home to try to get some rest in his own bed and do a little bit of work he had to get done on his laptop. Eddie had been awake and coherent for a short while that evening and had made him promise to rest at home and return the next day.

Joey was going back and forth to the house to help Lila with Frank and the twins. Steven's night cycle would end in two more nights and Lila would go back home.

When Jamie came in a little before nine, he found Frank at the kitchen table with Lila and Joe. Frank was doing his evening treatment and Lila and Joey each had a baby in their arms. The twins were awake listening and watching everything around them.

"Look, Finn," Lila cooed to her son. "There's grandpa."

Jamie smiled a very tired smile at his children and grandchildren. "How's Mom?" Lila asked. She was upset she wasn't able to be at her mother's side but her own babies needed her to be home.

"She's a little better, a little stronger," Jamie replied. "She actually sat up on her own for a few hours this afternoon and ordered me to get out of there so…" Jamie sank into a chair and reached for a baby.

Joey gave him Reagan then put on the kettle to make his grandfather and sister tea and his father and himself coffee. Jamie snuggled each baby for a bit, "Dad, you ready for bed?"

"I've got him, Dad," Lila replied. "Grandpa and I have been a good team the last couple of days."

Jamie smiled, happy his family was running things so well in his and Eddie's absence. He didn't have to worry about Frank or his baby girl and her new babies. It was just his own needs he'd have to figure out while Eddie was in the hospital.

When Reagan fell asleep in Jamie's arms and Lila took her daughter to place her in the crib with her brother, Jamie pulled out his laptop and began to draft replies to urgent emails. Meyers had graciously agreed to stay on until Eddie was well and Jamie was back in the office full time.

As Jamie sipped his coffee, he read the emails and began formulating replies. Both Lila and Joey watched as he fumbled for the letters and kept deleting line after line using just the backspace or delete keys. Jamie's frustration was clearly building, "Dad, you need help?" Lila asked. "You seem to be having a hard time."

Jamie bit his lip and though quickly, "The lighting in here is making a glare and I was never that good a typist. Can you maybe type it if I dictate?"

Lila smiled and took the laptop, it was a little bit glary and if her father was tired from two nights at the hospital…she got the work done in less than a half hour.

"I'm heading up to bed, but if you kids need me for anything just yell. I want to go early tomorrow Joe so that I'm with Mom when he doctors come by. She needs that filter surgery."

"Okay, I'll be ready early, just meet me down here by 8."

Jamie nodded and headed upstairs trying not to allow his leg to drag too much.

Joey knew Jamie wanted to get to the hospital early so he was surprised when Jamie wasn't down stairs already having his coffee when he arrived the next morning. Joey started the coffee and toasted some bread so they had something to eat.

Joey heard Lila stirring and preparing to feed the twins. He walked into the living room, "Hey, they slept pretty good huh?"

"Yeah, they did," Lila replied. "Dad leave already?"

"No," Joey replied. "No he's not down yet, I have to go up and see what's keeping him. He wants to be at the hospital when the doctors come around to see when they think they might operate on Mom."

Lila nodded and picked up Reagan to feed her as she was awake and kicking her legs. "Go on and get him, I have this."

Joey headed up the steps and knocked on the bedroom door, "Dad?" He waited for Jamie to answer. "Dad, you up?" Slowly Joey opened the door and found Jamie working his way to the bathroom, brace off, still in his clothing from the previous day, dragging his bad leg behind him.

"Hey Dad, are you okay?" Joey moved in slowly worried.

Jamie didn't acknowledge his son, he only continued walking towards the bathroom with his head down.

"Dad?" The last call Jamie heard, picking his head up towards Joe, revealing puffy bloodshot eyes trimmed with red.

"Hey, did the doctor call?" Joey asked closing the gap. "Is it Mom?"

Jamie sighed, "I can't go to the hospital today, Joe."

Joey narrowed his eyes, "What do you mean you can't go to the hospital. Mom's still terribly sick, she needs you."

Jamie sniffled back a sob, "I…I need her. Joe…"

"What's wrong, Dad?" Joey asked calmly. "Why aren't you wearing your brace? Do you need help getting it on?"

Jamie sighed, "It's too tight today. I…I just…"

"You couldn't get it on," Joey sighed. "Work into the bathroom, sit down and I'll help you all right? What's going on with your shirt and stuff? Did you sleep like this?"

Joey felt his heart sinking. It was pretty shocking to find his father like this, he looked so together, how much of that was his mother?

"I couldn't get the buttons and…I'm sorry Joe." Jamie looked down in total defeat. 

Joe smiled at Jamie. He couldn't believe that his father still needed all this help. To look at him he was capable, strong, and totally recovered, Eddie did so much behind the scenes. If Joey didn't know how valuable his mother was to their lives he did now. It stung to see how hard Jamie was working. Joey pushed his emotions down as no big deal and assisted his father easily getting the problem buttons.

"See no problem at all Dad, let's get you into new clothing and cleaned up. We'll get you down for breakfast before heading to the hospital."

Jamie looked at Joey, "Please don't' tell anyone. Somedays it's okay, you know, but others…"

Joey nodded, "Let's get you downstairs. I have coffee and toast."

Joey supervised Jamie walking down the steps and heled him ease into a chair. Joe poured him coffee bringing it to the table. "Here you go dad, nice and hot."

"Thanks Joe," Jamie gave his son a smile slowly lifting the coffee cup. "When I get tired or stressed sometimes my hand acts up and last night and this morning it's…"Jamie held his bad hand out and let Joey see the tremor. "The doctor calls it "intention tremor" says it's from the damaged nerves and neural pathways. I guess having Mom not hear when things have been so tense…"

Joey nodded, "How about I crash here with you until Mom is home and well again. We won't say anything to Lila or anyone, I'll just help you out."

Jamie offered Joey his best smile, "Thank you. Some days I am fine, other days I really can't make it do anything I want it to do."

Joey patted Jamie's back and made sure his father looked respectable before they headed to the hospital. When they arrived, Eddie was working on eating her breakfast.

"Hey, pretty girl," Jamie greeted smiling and going to kiss her.

Joey offered his mother a kiss as well, "You look so much better."

"I feel much better now that the antibiotics have taken some effect and look…" Eddie held up her arm showing it off at just double its normal size.

"Very good, Mom," Joey smiled and sat down to wait for the doctor.

Just a short while later, Dr. Brady arrived to assess Eddie. The physical exam was painful for her, Jamie held her hand tightly in his. "Take a breath, sweetie…"

"Tell Joey…" Eddie whispered, she didn't want her son to see her pain.

"Joe," Jamie said firmly. "Please get some tea for your mother, and I could use another cup of coffee."

The firmness in Jamie's tone let Joey know that he would not take an argument, Joey simply stood and left to get the drinks. "My arm is still so painful…"

"I know it is, Eddie," Dr. Brady sympathized. "But it appears to me and Dr. Giffords that the infection is subsiding. In a few more days, I hope to be able to operate, remove the blockage and insert the filter. You can see here under the skin another clot has formed."

Jamie sighed, "Is it safe to wait? I know the risk from arm clots…I'm still dealing with some of the effects from my stroke…"

"Eddie's stationary and we are monitoring it very closely. We're about to begin the pumps to continue to reduce the swelling and…"

"No," Eddie spoke up firmly. "Please…not that."

"Sweetie, you need it," Jamie soothed. "I'll be right here, perhaps, Dr. Brady you can give her something for the pain."

Dr. Brady nodded, "Of course we will. Why don't we get you all set up and then you can rest until you lunch comes."

Dr. Brady headed out of the room and ordered the treatment prepared. Eddie turned to Jamie, "Don't let them do it, please don't let them do this…I can't stand it when it's so swelled, please, Jamie…"

Jamie sat by Eddie's side holding her hand and kissed her head. "I love you Eddie, you'll be okay babe."

Eddie rested against his shoulders closing her eyes. She took in a breath to block the pain while the nurse gave her pain medication.

"It'll go away soon and Joe and I will be right here okay," Jamie whispered softly.

"Jamie…Lila..."

Jamie smiled, giving her hand a squeeze. "Lila wants you to get better too so you can see our grand babies grow up."

Eddie sighed and held onto Jamie as the nurse fixed the sleeve on her arm and turned the machine on. Joey returned to the room as he heard his mother scream. He pushed the door open with the drink carrier in his hand. "Dad, what are you doing?"

"She had another clot, she has to do her pumps and it's very painful. Joey I think it's better if you just go to work or help Lila out at home. Mom doesn't want you kids to see her like this."

Eddie had her face buried in Jamie's chest. "Jamie…please.."

Jamie looked up with tears in his own eyes, "I wish I could, you need this. I need you so much…please Eddie. For me, for the babies."

Joey took a breath and sat on the bed, "Yes, Mom, we all need you, I know it hurts so badly."

Jamie held Eddie tight as Joey talked about the twins and his wedding ideas keeping Eddie distracted until her eyes fell shut, the heavy pain killer finally taking effect.

"What the Hell was that?" Joey asked when Eddie was in a deep sleep. "I could hear her screaming in the hallway."

"She threw another clot, but they can't operate until the swelling goes down." Jamie explained. "Can you talk to Molly and Linda and see if you can get Lila a babysitter so she can come and visit Mom?"

Joey nodded, "Yeah, I got you back, Dad."

Jamie had no doubt that he did.

 **A/N: So Jamie's not as well as we think he is. Over 80% of stroke patients have residual deficits, even if they are not noticed. Often their spouses or loved ones nurse then through those rough days…I know I have loved ones that often help me.**

 **Next Update – August 3** **rd** **– Eddie has her operation and Jamie is forced to choose when Erin's case begins to break.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"You can't honey," Steven sighed as Lila sobbed in his arms two days later. "They are too little and one or both will get sick. You don't want that, right? Your Mom won't want it either."

"Joey's telling me how much Mom is suffering and I just want to make it better. She's missing so much, they are getting bigger already."

"I know, Lil," Steven sighed. "I do. Why don't you pump out some milk for me, and go over and spend some real time with your Mom. I can handle them for a few hours?"

Lila smiled, "You mean it?"

"Sure," Steven replied. "I know it's hard for her to be sick in the hospital and you having to not be with her. Go on and start pumping. We'll take a couple of cute pictures before you go."

Lila pumped four bottles to leave with Steven the dressed the babies in cute outfits Eddie purchased. She laid Eddie's prized purple blanket between both babies and took photos. "Where did we get that blanket?"

"It was Mom's," Lila replied. "She gave it to me for the twins. They are so sweet, Steven. I love them so much. I know now what Mom meant when she said she would do anything for me and Joe."

"Yeah she would," Steven agreed. "Give her a big kiss for me. Tell her we all love her very much."

Lila nodded and kissed both of her babies then Steven a kiss before heading to the hospital. When she arrived Jamie was helping Eddie with her pumps. The more the swelling went down, the easier the treatments were. When Eddie saw Lila step into her room, her face lit up like it hadn't in days. "Hey, Mom," Lila greeted with a smile. "You look better. How are you feelings?"

"With both hands," Eddie joked. "Better, in fact Dr. Brady says he can operate on my arm tomorrow and I should be home by Sunday."

Lila smiled, "That's wonderful. I know two people that will be so happy to see you. Look we took some pictures before I left." Lila settled down next to Eddie to show off the twins pictures. "Oh they are getting big already…Is that the blanket I gave you?"

Jamie looked and saw Eddie's baby blanket in the photo, "You gave that to Lila?"

Eddie nodded, "I wanted the babies to have something of my father too."

Jamie kissed the side of his wife's head, "That's really sweet Eddie. Lila, can you keep mom company for a few minutes? I have a couple of calls to return."

Lila nodded, "Jamie…" Eddie spoke softly. "Take a couple deep breaths while you're at it."

Jamie nodded and left mother and daughter alone. As soon as Jamie left Eddie's face fell.

"What is it, Mom?" Lila asked. "Did Dad do something to make you upset?"

"No," Eddie sighed. "Your father has been here almost nonstop but today…he's very distracted and…"

"And you still need him to be more focused on you and what you are doing and what you need," Lila sighed. "I heard Joey talking to grandpa this morning. Apparently there's a few cases right now that really do need Dad's attention."

"Dad shouldn't have to give those cases attention, he shouldn't be commissioner anymore, it's time to be done, to be home with me, to be with his grandchildren. Those babies are going to lose out on a grandpa because he's so stubborn!"

Lila rubbed Eddie's back as she continued, "It's me he wants to be away from, he's ashamed of what he has at home, a short, fat little wife that gave up a career…"

"Mom, stop talking like that. Dad loves you. When you were so sick, it too Uncle Danny and Joe to pry him away. He's only staying on as commissioner because he feels like he has something to prove."

Eddie sighed, "That and Erin. Why does it always have to come back to Erin?"

"Dad just wants the family name to be safe, it's not just about Aunt Erin," Lila comforted. "It's for all of us, the twins too. They are Reagans as much as Tenneys and when Finn doesn't get on tap when he wants to even more so."

Jamie returned to the room with a smile and a dish of ice cream. "They had pistachio in the cafeteria…" He handed the small dish to Eddie.

Lila looked up at Jamie, "Is Aunt Erin okay?"

"That call wasn't Erin," Jamie replied. "It was about her, but it wasn't her." Jamie sat down beside he wife, there was no way he could break off to the office now as badly as he needed to do so.

"Jamie," Eddie sighed. "If you have to go…"

"No, I'm staying with you," Jamie replied. "Dr. Brady is due at 3 to talk about the filter."

Eddie leaned back in the bed and shut her eyes, Lila continued to stroke her mother's hand. When Eddie's breathing evened out, Jamie caught Lila's look. "Change that look on your face, young lady," Jamie warned.

"Dad, you can tell that you are not really here right now," Lila replied. "Mom can read you like an open book."

"I'm sorry, Lila, but I have work to do as well. I have been here every day while Mom was in danger. She's doing much better and I have to shift my focus back to work. Not just Aunt Erin's situation, but a lot of situations."

"Dad, that's all well and good but anyone with eyes can see that Mom has not been herself since she got diagnosed with the renal disease. She's obsessing about weigh and looks, she NEVER did that before now I heard about Nikki insulting her at the twins homecoming. I'm glad I didn't overhear that or I'd have…"

Jamie chuckled. "You are so like your mother and I love you both so much. I just wish Mom would realize that. I don't know what I did to make her start to doubt it." Jamie kissed Eddie's wrist softly.

Lila sighed, "You want to know what you did? You put her second again. I think that for a long time Mom was okay with being second or third or whatever behind the family and the job but now she's really doubting herself the last six months…I think she needs to see someone but you know that won't happen. I think she needs to be first for a change."

"Lila, Mom has always been fir…"

"Do not go there with me, Dad," Lila said quickly. "Not with me of all people. Mom has never been first in your life. She's been tied for it with other family but she's never been the one and only. That was okay for a long time that's how this family worked but it's not working for her anyone. She feels old and ugly and fat and she believes those things are pushing you away from her. I know they aren't, I know she's pulling herself away but you can't let her Dad."

Jamie nodded and caressed Eddie's hand, he didn't want to lose his wife He loved her way too much.

Dr. Brady came in right at three o'clock and examined Eddie. "This arm is much better and the infection seems to have cleared," he told his patient and her entire nuclear family as Joe arrived ten minutes before the doctor did. "We'll schedule surgery for tomorrow afternoon and with any luck you'll be home on Saturday."

Eddie smiled, "Okay then…tomorrow…"

Lila stayed another hour then had to return home to the twins. Anse called Joey an hour after that about a case, so he had to bow out leaving Jamie and Eddie alone. "You want to sit in the chair?" Jamie asked. "I can sneak out and get us something good to eat before you have to abstain from food for the surgery."

"No, I think I lost a couple pounds eating this hospital slop, but maybe we can have a private dinner anyway, just the two of us."

"Eddie…" Jamie sighed. "Will you please let…" He didn't want to ask her to let the weight issue go, not again. "Will you please let me get us a nice dinner? It can be lower calorie…What about chicken Caesar salads and pita bread, with berries and light whipped cream for dessert? All on the heart healthy menu."

Eddie smiled, 'Okay…and maybe some sparkling cider too. Let's make a night of it."

Eddie wouldn't admit she was nervous about surgery but she was scared to death. All that she could think about was Jamie, his strong steady presence at her side before and after she went under the knife.

Jamie shared a semi-romantic meal with his wife then headed home for some sleep before the big day. Eddie wouldn't have slept at all without the help of sedatives, with their help, she got a few uneasy hours.

Joey wasn't able to break away to come to the hospital before Eddie went under the next morning. They had another robbery victim, but this one was reporting that he'd woken up handcuffed to a bed without his pants and with his lifeforce still on the sheets. Joey didn't want to gloat about his hunch but part of him was glad that his intuition had served him well. Molly went to the hospital in his place.

Most of the Reagan family visited with Eddie before it was time to go down. Danny and Linda would stay behind with Jamie while Lila headed back to Brooklyn to feed her babies. She and Joey planned to come back before Eddie was going to be waking up. They wanted her to see Jamie and both of them after the ordeal.

The nurses came to prep Eddie around 2. Jamie stayed with her as long as possible. "I love you," he whispered as the orderlies prepared to take Eddie away.

"Love you, you'll be here when it's over right?" Eddie asked needing that reassurance.

"Of course I will," Jamie replied. "I will be right by your side."

Eddie smiled and shut her eyes, secure in that promise.

A half hour after the operation began, Jamie's bodyguard approached, "Sir, Chief Reagan says they have located one of the trafficking victims and she has a lot to say."

Jamie sighed, a scared, mishandled child would need a certain paternal hand. Jamie looked over to Danny, "I have to run out for about an hour, I think we have a witness that can clear Erin's name but she has to be handled with Kid gloves. Call me if there's an update. I'll be back before Eddie is out."

Danny nodded, understanding that sometimes the job required difficult choices. "He's leaving?" Linda asked very surprised to see Jamie heading off with his detail.

"Just for a little bit, he's got a very delicate witness," Danny replied. "Eddie won't know anything, he'll be back in time…"

Jamie all but ran into 1PP. Jack had their young witness in his private office with a social worker and Detective Meyers to officially record her statement. Jamie's heart about broke when he saw the poor thing. Thread bare clothing, pale, transparent skin…and the most vacant eyes he could recall seeing in all of his carer. He took a deep breath and channeled his inner sex crimes detective from back in the day…"Hello. Your name is Kerri right? I'm Commissioner Reagan, but you can call me Commissioner Jamie…" Jamie got no reply. He knew now this would take much longer than he anticipated.

Joey and Lila were both at the hospital by 4:30 to wait for their Mom to be finished. The filter surgery would be over by 5:00. "Where's Dad?" Joey asked when he sat down. "Is he in the chapel?"

Danny sighed, "No, he left for the office not long after your Mom went in. He should have been back half an hour ago. He's not answering his cell and neither is Jack."

Lila's face turned bright red! How dare he do this! Lila turned and looked like she was ready to storm down to 1PP, the only thing that stopped her was her brother's hand on her arm as the doctor appeared, "It looks good," Dr. Brady announced. "She came through like a champ. She's in recovery and should be coming too…Where's Jamie?"

"He had to step out…" Joey covered. "Uh, can my sister and I sit with her?"

"Right this way," Dr. Brady invited and smiled. "She really did excellent."

"It's going to kill her, Joey," Lila whispered as they each held onto their mother's hands. "You know how Mom is, she'll wake up disoriented and think something awful happened to Dad. What are we going to do?"

"Calm down," Joey replied. 'We have to be calm so Mom is calm. Uncle Danny is on his way to 1PP right now. Just calm down, you'll sour your milk."

"Oh, what do you know…"

"Brother's right," Eddie slurred as she opened her eyes. "Happened once with him, wouldn't eat and cried…right Jamie? Tell her…"

Silence…

"Jamie?" Eddie opened her eyes in search of her husband. "Jamie!?" Eddie's heart monitor began to soar as she searched the room, now frantic. He promised her ot be there, he'd promised her. There was only one reason he wasn't there…but, in fact, that wasn't the reason at all.

 **A/N: Looks like Jamie made a boo boo…and I know I'm probably going to take some heat over this, but Jamie just made a mistake. That's going to backfire big time though! I continue to be so delighted in the response of this story, please keep sharing your opinions.**

 **Next Update – August 6 – Lila and Joey run interference for Jamie, Jamie's apologies fall on deaf ears.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Eddie tossed her head, "He promised me," she moaned. "He said..."

"Ssh, calm down," soothed Lila. "I'll go check and see if he's back from…where he went to. Maybe he is and not one told him you were finished in surgery."

Eddie nodded, and closed her heavy eyes. Jamie would be here soon. He'd promised. She held tight to Joey's hand hoping Jamie was okay, that he didn't make himself sick. Joey bit his lip praying his father had returned in those few minutes.

Lila returned a few minutes later. "Mommy," she said. "I looked all over this floor, and he's not here. I'll check again soon, maybe he went outside to use the phone or something. Don't you fret, we'll find him."

"But I..." Eddie sighed. "I need him here. I...it..."

"It'll be okay, Mom," Joey assured Eddie. "Just rest."

"Can I..." Eddie began. She was so tired and so sore it was hard for her to speak.

"Can you what?" Lila asked ready to go out and drag her father back to the hospital by his tie.

"The pain," she sighed. "He knows...always knows..."

"Let me go look this time," Joey offered. "I'll be right back. How's your pain? Do you need anything?"

Eddie nodded, closing her eyes again. "I need Jamie."

Danny flashed his retired detective's badge and Commissioner's courtesy card then practically jogged to the elevator. When it let him off on the 14th floor he shoved his way past two of the guards outside grabbing Jamie's closest bodyguard. "I need my brother…the Commissioner now. Eddie's done in surgery and he promised to be with her when she woke up."

The detective stepped inside where Jamie was still calmly pressing the witness to say that she never saw Erin anywhere near the kidnapping site, nor did she know Erin at all. The traumatized girl kept identifying Erin's voice from recordings but could not pick out her picture. Jamie's heart sank…

"Commissioner," the young detective broke in. "Your brother is here, Sir. Your wife is out of her operation."

Jamie felt the adrenaline hit his body, what had he done? Had he really been gone…four hours?! "I have to go now honey," Jamie explained. "We'll talk again when you are feeling better. I'm so happy you are safe." He gently patted the girl's arm leaving Meyers to set up another questioning sessions with her parents. "Is she awake?" Jamie asked as he and Danny sprinted to the SUVs.

"By now, probably, the kids are in with her but…"

Jamie nodded, "I promised her, Dan. I promised her it was going to be all right again!"

"Maybe she'll have been so groggy he didn't notice," Danny offered Jamie a slight bit of hope. Jamie commanded his detail to sprint to Lutheran hospital with every capability.

"I'm sure Dad is fine," Lila soothed. "I think he had to sign something before a notary public by the end of business for the Union," Lila lied. "You know how that can go. I'm sure he'll be right back if you just rest."

Joey and Lila had been trying to convince Eddie that Jamie had not suffered another stroke and would be at her side as promised any second. Both children prayed for sleep, then they could fib around the time lapse and blame it on Eddie's post-surgery fatigue.

The traffic made it so Jamie didn't arrive at the hospital for nearly an hour after Danny went to retrieve him. Jamie hurried inside finding Dr. Brady speaking to Linda.

"Jamie, we've been looking for you," Dr. Brady greeted.

"Doctor, I'm sorry, I stepped away for what was supposed to be an hour and…Is Eddie out of surgery? She is, isn't she? Is she okay?"

"She's fine, medically," Dr. Brady replied. "She's asking for you, has been."

"How…Did it work?" Jamie asked anxious to know if his wife's condition would be improved by the procedure.

"Given the amount of work I did the open the vessels and how much cleaner she is now than at any other time, I'd say she should except of course for the lingering lymphedema left over from her cancer surgery she should be much better," the doctor explained.

"And what about the consistency of her blood? Will that be fixed by this operation too or…?" Jamie asked fidgeting with his ring.

"Yes and no, but what isn't fixed can be managed with medication. We'll have to monitor her carefully to find the correct balance of medications. Her risk of pulmonary embolism, heart attack and stroke are still high and her blood vessels themselves especially in her arms hve been weakened as you know by the cancer and the treatments she's endured over the last nineteen years. We'll do our best to give Eddie as easy a time as possible. Get in there, being stressed and being upset is not good for either of you."

"On my way, doctor," said Jamie as he turned and headed for his wife's hospital room.

The door to Eddie's room opened and her eyes opened, "Jamie?"

"No, Mommy, it's just me," Joey said apologetically. "I just saw Dr. Brady in the hall and he said that Dad is on his way up here."

Jamie arrived at Eddie's room almost ten minutes after he'd parted ways with the doctor. He felt horrible for not being there when Eddie awakened, like he'd sworn he'd be. When he walked into Eddie's room and saw she was asleep, he tossed his jacket over the back of the chair and pulled it alongside the bed facing the angry faces of both his children.

"She's been asking for you for over an hour!" Lila hissed. "She thought you had another stroke, we kept calling and calling!"

"I know, Kitten," Jamie sighed. "I know, I had to talk to a witness that needed very special attention…she might be able to clear Aunt Erin…"

"I don't care, let them arrest Aunt Erin! This is your wife…" Lila, who was always close to her Godmother, was shaking she was so angry.

"Lil, take a walk," Joey said gently. "Take a walk, we don't want sour milk or the kiddos. I'll call you in a little bit okay? Go home, check on Grandpa, feed the twins, I have it."

"But…" Lila sputtered.

"Lila..." Joey held his sister's arms. "We have to try to cover this up, okay sis? We have to, for Mom and you being like this…it's not going to help her. Please go home and I'll call you." Joey hugged Lila and ushered out the door. "Call me later Dad." He had no desire to be there when it all came down.

Eddie stirred and hour later and opened her eyes slowly, "Jamie?"

"Hey there pretty girl," he said, leaning in to take a hold of her hand.

She smiled softly, "Where were you?"

"I, uh..." He didn't want to tell her flat-out; he didn't think it'd be smart after all she'd just been through. "I had some calls to make and a I uh…lost track of time."

"Yeah," Eddie sighed and looked over at Jamie.

"Yeah," he said. "Just needed some fresh air. Dr. Brady told me you'd be under for a while, so I went and stepped out for a bit." That was true, all of it.

"You're doing it again," Eddie sighed the strength returning to her voice as she fought the anger and pain.

"What am I doing?" he asked, fear instantly welling up inside.

Tears started to spill out of Eddie's eyes as she managed, "You're lying to me."

"I'm, no...I'm..." Jamie didn't know what he should say.

Eddie nodded and sniffled, "You are. You are, you are lying to me."

At that moment, he realized that he had to come clean; that she was in no position to get this upset. With a deep breath, he began to speak. "I did go outside, and I did need some fresh air, but I got the fresh air on the drive to 1PP to assist in an interview of a young victim that might have evidence that will get Erin's name and the family name out of the mud.

"And you stayed with her and left me here alone, to wake up alone, when you promised to be here. If the kids weren't here…" Eddie finished for him in tears. "Get out."

"Eddie, please," he said, his eyes pleading with her. "I didn't mean to be gone so long, but she was in such a state of shock…"

Eddie's voice choked. "You lied to me again. You said you wouldn't do that."

"I didn't lie as such," he insisted. "Okay, I guess I did lie in a sense, but I didn't think you needed to get this worked up. This is exactly what I was trying to save you from, baby!"

"You could have told me the truth that you planned to go to work while I was out of your hair," Eddie sighed.

"You aren't in my hair, you are my wife…"

"It doesn't matter," Eddie sighed. "It doesn't even matter you went. What matters is…" Eddie sighed, She shook her head, "Jamie, you lied to me. Again and your broke a promise again. Two promises. I...I thought we were going to be honest with each other. I thought you were going to stop keeping me in the dark!"

"We were," he said. "But you weren't honest with me about the pain or about how bad you blood counts were. We can point fingers at each other, Eddie."

"I was trying to protect you," Eddie shot. "You were trying to protect yourself and your sister. You know how I feel about your family. I love them all but Erin and I…You were thinking it's easier for me if I lie to my fat old lady."

"No, no, no..." he said, his voice calm yet firm. "I was thinking about you, Eddie. I didn't want you upset over this right now. I was going to tell you when you were feeling better."

"That's the mentality you adopted when it comes t work now Jamie, I'll just tell her tomorrow, then you lie to me," Eddie sighed. "And...Jamie, I can't do this. I can't."

"Precisely why I wasn't going to tell you today," he said, trying to get a hold of Eddie to comfort her.

"That I could have handled," Eddie sighed. "I can't handle the lies Jamie. I can't handle them and I can't forgive them. God knows I tried."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, trembling inside.

Eddie's face fell and tears began again, "It means I'm done. I can't do this anymore. Not now. I'm tired and I hurt and I really would like for you to go."

"You don't mean that," he said. "You can't mean that, Eddie."

"I do mean that," she said softly. "I'd like for you to leave. Get out."

"No, I'm not going to leave" he said, rising from his chair and moving to sit on the edge of her bed. "I won't leave you alone like this. I know you're upset, but I'm not leaving."

She said it again, louder this time. "Get out Jamie."

He sat in place and uttered not a sound.

Eddie covered her face with her hands, "Please. Please. Please. Please."

She didn't say this to him, she said it to anyone else who'd hear her tiny whisper.

"Eddie," he said, his voice cracking as the sight of her in so much pain. "Please. I want to stay. I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to stay," Eddie replied. "I don't...Get out."

"But...I..." He couldn't fight her any longer; he knew she wasn't up for it. "Okay. I'll go, but I'll be back tonight so we can talk."

"No," Eddie told him. "No. I need time, please don't come back."

"Eddie, we have to talk," he said. "We've come too far to let this ruin everything. Thirty years of marriage… Please, let's talk later. You don't feel well right now, but later..."

"Goodbye, Jamie," Eddie said and turned her face to the wall.

 **A/N: Jamie really blew it. I know some of my readers, one "guest" in particular feels Eddie is being childish…I'm sure that sentiment is going to come out tenfold now, but anyone who has been through this particular kind of surgery or has seen a loved one go through it, will understand.**

 **Next Update – August 9** **th** **– Eddie gets discharged and Jamie tries to heal the rift in his marriage.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Jamie did go back that night, to find that he was not allowed into his wife's room. Eddie had asked the doctor to please ban all visitors including her husband. She was sick, tired, and depressed. She didn't want to see anyone. For three days, from noon until ten pm Jamie would sit outside her room and pray, hope, wish that she'd allow him inside so he could apologize. He'd sent her cards, flowers, wrote her a letter, but still nothing he could say or do would soften her heart.

Finally on the very last day, Eddie relented. Lila had been all but begging to see her mother since everything hit the fan, she was hurt and very emotional that Eddie hadn't wanted to see anyone.

Joey and Lila were both waiting for the doctors to be finished with Eddie. Jamie was sitting on the bench, head down in his hands. Joey had been at the house almost nonstop nursing Jamie through the forced separation. Jamie's physical capability had a lot to do with his moods. Since Eddie had shut him out of her room and her heart, Jamie had been barely able to get himself up and ready or the day.

"Go talk to him," Joey pushed. "He's eating himself alive over this, Lila. You keeping him from seeing his grandchildren when he was already hurting inside, that was pretty low."

"I wasn't keeping them from him, Dad came over and I just said I wanted him to sit down when he held the twins because he was feeling so shaky," Lila explained. "When he wanted to walk around with Finn when he got fussy, I said no and Dad got mad and left."

Joey sighed, "This family is going to Hell in a hand basket."

The door opened and Dr. Brady stepped out. "Jamie..." He greeted Joey and Lila with a nod.

"How is she? Will she see me today?" Jamie asked hopeful.

"Yes, Eddie will see you," the doctor replied. "She's doing well today, the swelling is down and her vitals are stable. Eddie hasn't been eating very much the last few days but I think it's more emotional. She'd like to see the children first then you can help her get ready to go home, Jamie. I'll have her paperwork in an hour."

Jamie looked at Joey and Lila, "I'm so sorry this all got around you. I am terribly sorry…Kitten, I know…"

Lila reached up and hugged Jamie, "I know, Dad. We'll gauge the room for you. Sit down, you look awful."

Eddie didn't look much better. She was still pale and drawn but she smiled when the kids came in. She reached both of her children, "I'm so sorry, I just…there was so much…I'm so sorry."

Both Joey and Lila held their mother tight, "It's all right, Mom," Joey soothed. "We can possibly know what you've been through. We were outside every day, Dad too…he just sat on the bench and hoped you'd let him inside."

Eddie sighed, "Joey you won't understand yet, you aren't married. Lila, you're in the honeymoon stage but all a couple has is trust…that is all a couple has."

"And love," Lila replied. "And you have that with Daddy, Mom. He's hurting so much and I know you are too. Maybe you can talk to each other."

Eddie nodded, "You two head on home, let's have a little dinner tonight just us. I am dying to see my babies, I bet they are walking already."

Lila laughed, "Not quite, but they did grow. How about we order Chinese for dinner?"

Eddie nodded, "I'll go home with Dad and see you there. Please send him in."

Jamie practically ran into the room when Joey and Lila stepped out. "How are you? I can't believe that you didn't let me come in…I missed you so…" Jamie put his arms out to hold Eddie but she sighed and put her hand up.

"We need to talk, Jamie," Eddie said softly. "Sit down…You look a total mess. Have you combed your hair even?"

"My hand has been on the blink," Jamie confessed. "I had to let Joey in on our secret and he's done his best."

Eddie reached out and touched Jamie's cheek, "Don't think for one minute that I have stopped loving you, I never could do that. I love you so much it hurts."

"Then why?" Jamie asked softly. "Why didn't you let me see you? You needed me, we needed each other. You can't doubt that I love you."

"I do," Eddie replied. "I do doubt you love me, Jamie. I doubt that very much. I know you don't really respect me and that's okay…I never was much of an asset to you and now it's much worse."

"Eddie…" Jamie hung his head. "Do not tell me that you aren't coming home with me. Please…"

"I'm coming home with you Jamie," Eddie replied. "I want to talk things out and I want to work things out. I over reacted a lot about you're not being here…"

"No, Eddie, I promised you and I broke my promise…"

"Let me finish, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "I don't want Erin to go to jail or be implicated in anything she didn't do and I admire you as her brother and as a man for sticking things out and trying to clear her name. You should do that, it's who you are and it's the right thing…I guess I just felt like I was in the backseat again. This time around I was just more scared…this blood thing, it's permanent Jamie. It's something else I have to deal with and…I overreacted about this, but there is just so much wrong with our marriage."

"I don't see it, Eddie," Jamie sighed. "I don't see…I know you want more time together, we will have that, we will…How can I make it up? How can we fix it?"

"I don't know that it's fixable…" Eddie sighed. "We love each other, we really do love each other but…there are things I just don't like about you anymore Jamie. You are so secretive…I saw Meyers the other day, she told me about her replacement…You never told me that you selected a replacement that was young and blonde and beautiful. Why?"

"Because of this," Jamie replied. "Because you make things…You get so upset and it's just been since the kidney thing…Before you had some weight problems and it never messed with your head like this. The problems are coming from inside you, things you see and hear aren't what is real, honey. But I'll wait out, we'll work it out but we can't if you…"

"Separate rooms," Eddie said quickly. "When we go home I'd like you to move into Joey's room for a bit. I need some time to think, to get my head back on straight. I know how much you need me, Jamie and I said for better or worse and I meant it. The lie hurts, even if I understand why. I just need…"

Jamie nodded, "Room to breathe…I understand. How about for now…I get you dressed and we go home. Lila is bringing the twins over and Dad's been beside himself. He's had a lot more trouble without you at home, Eddie. I need you, we all need you."

"Need me?" Eddie asked. "Or need what I can do for you. Jamie you have all you need, Joey took good care of you, you have your family…"

"You are my family," Jamie insisted. "And because I love you so much I will give you all the space and all the time in the world…I love you and nothing will ever change that!"

Eddie nodded and pushed the covers aside. Jamie was taken back by the discoloration in her legs and feet and the retained fluid there. "The IVs," Eddie explained. "My kidneys just aren't cooperating with me, Dr. Gupta increased some of the medications for now, he thinks it was the hospitalization that threw things off."

Jamie sighed, "Do you need help getting up and dressed? I can do it or send Lila in…"

Eddie desperately wanted Jamie to help her but her wounded pride didn't allow. "I can do it."

Jamie nodded and sat on the bed, "I can't do things without you, Eddie," Jamie confessed. "I have a hard time getting dressed. When you are home and we talk in the morning, even if you are lying down resting…"

Eddie sighed. "Well, when it's time for you to dress you can come into the bedroom and talk to me and I'll help you. Try to give me just a little bit of time, please."

Jamie watched as Eddie dressed having to keep on the hospital issue socks, her shoes were too tight. "I'll get the car so you don't have to walk too far. When is your follow up with Dr. Gupta?"

"Next week, I'll handle it myself, you have more important things to do."

Jamie let it go and went to get the car. He helped Eddie into and reached for her hand. "Am I allowed to hold your hand or is that forbidden too? I said I was sorry for leaving you alone, countless times. I meant it, I am so sorry, I didn't know it would be so hard. That poor girl…"

Eddie nodded, "Maybe…Maybe Joe should have a crack at it. He's inherited your ability to deal well with young victims."

Jamie nodded, "I haven't been back to question her since that day. Believe it or not…"

Eddie reached over and took Jamie's hand, "I know. You've been outside my room for three days. I don't know what's wrong right now Jamie, I just know I need time and I hope you can give it to me."

Jamie lifted Eddie's hand, "I can do that, but for Dad's sake…he's been bad since you've been sick. Several exacerbations and his legs are getting swelled up like yours. Please put on a good face for him?"

Eddie quickly agreed to keep their troubles inside their own nuclear family.

Jamie helped Eddie into the house. She let him help her but didn't cuddle into him like she usually did. As soon as Eddie walked in the house she found herself enveloped in Frank's arms. "Oh my sweetheart," he whispered. "I'm so sorry I couldn't get to see you, I wanted to come…"

Eddie softly rubbed Frank's back, "I know you did, Dad. I heard you've been having a really rough time too. How about you sit down in your chair, we'll get you some nice tea and put your vest on."

Frank sighed, "I was just so worried about you." He moved back to his easy chair and began a coughing fit. Eddie looked over at Jamie and went to comfort her father-in-law while Jamie prepared a breathing treatment.

While Frank breathed in his mist, Lila arrived with the twins. "Look babies," she cooed. "There's Nanny…let's go see Nanny…"

Lila handed Reagan to Eddie, "I think they missed you…"

Eddie laughed, "Oh they can't miss anyone yet but you at his age, honey," Eddie sighed. "But I missed them. Look how big they got…" Eddie snuggled Reagan and tickled Finn's tiny foot placing her own feet on two pillows to rest.

"We ordered Chinese and Molly is coming over to talk a little about the wedding."

"Lila, don't you think it's a little too soon for Mom to be worrying about that," Jamie spoke up. It was hard for him to just take a backseat because Eddie was angry. He still loved his wife more than anything and he was going to see to her health whether she liked it or not.

Eddie begged off a few hours later after snuggling babies and talking to her soon to be daughter in law. "Let me help," Jamie said quickly reaching for Eddie's arm.

"I've got it Jamie," Eddie replied.

"Please, you're just out of the hospital, let me help."

Eddie let Jamie follow her up to bedroom. She undressed and sighed looking at her legs. "Do you need me to help you with your shirt?"

Jamie nodded, "My hand it's really been bad…"

Eddie helped Jamie undress, but it was clear it was out of duty not love. Jamie helped Eddie elevate her legs and get her arm propped. "Well uh…I guess I'll go to Joey's room and you get your rest…" Jamie never felt so awkward or so hurt.

"Goodnight, Jamie," Eddie said softly. "If you have trouble with your pills just bring the bottles…"

"I'll be fine Eddie," Jamie said his voice now a little cold. "I'll see you in the morning."

Jamie turned and shut off the light.

 **A/N: This are still rough in the home of Jamison Reagan, what will it take to bring the marriage back on track or has Eddie finally had enough of being second to Erin?**

 **Next Update – August 11 – The family gathers for dinner.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Eddie woke up early on Sunday and padded downstairs to fix tea and breakfast. She started Jamie's coffee out of habit, the night alone having provided her with some perspective. Even she didn't totally understand the depth of her anger at him. Eddie started pancakes and ham, the aroma woke Frank. He appeared in the kitchen dragging his oxygen tube.

"I'm so glad you are home, sweetheart. This place wasn't the same without you."

Eddie smiled, "I'm sure I wasn't missed that much."

"But you were," Frank replied sitting down. "Eddie, Jamie was beside himself that you got so sick and honey, when you got upset with him and banned him from the room, it about broke him. He acts tough, and he is but…"

Eddie looked down, "I know he needs me quite a bit, and I need him, but I just feel so separated. I feel…I feel like it's all broken and I can't fix it. I try to push him away but…truth is I just want to hold him and protect him…I have to stand my ground a little longer, Frank. I'm not going to do anything silly, I just need to feel that closeness again and feel that Jamie wants it too. A fancy dinner and a massage just won't do it this time, but I'm not going to leave him to flounder."

Their conversation was cut short by Jamie coming into the kitchen, dark bags under his eyes showing he didn't sleep well.

"Morning," he greeted with a yawn, stopping just before Eddie to get a kiss which Eddie hesitantly provided.

"Coffee should be ready," she said turning to finish breakfast instead of pouring his coffee like she usually did.

Giving his father a quick glance Jamie took the coffee cup he used every day and poured himself a cup.

"Everyone will be here for dinner," Frank told them both. "Sean is off and he's anxious to check in so we're only missing Erin and Nikki."

Eddie nodded, "I'm sorry, but it's wrong that Erin is leaving this to fall on you, Jamie. She was a prosecutor, she knows how to crawl up an investigators behind with the best of them, she made this mess, let her help clean it up."

Jamie sighed, "I know, I've said that. I'm not going back to work until Tuesday unless something major comes out. I'm too tired and honestly don't have the heart."

Frank looked at Eddie and then at his son, "You both look terrible, perhaps this new sleeping arrangement isn't the best for everyone."

"Dad," Jamie help up his hand. Eddie's keen eye didn't miss the pronounced intention tremor. She stood up, "I think we need to cancel dinner tonight. Jamie is way too tired, I'm tired, Dad you are tired…We can have everyone over on Wednesday instead. I think that would be better."

Frank sighed, he hated to do anything to the Sunday dinner but he could see Eddie was right. "I'll make the calls, Eddie please take Jamie back to bed, he looks terrible."

Eddie nodded, "Come on…eat your pancake…" Eddie handed him the plate with the food cut.

Jamie looked at Eddie, thanks in his eyes. She had promised him that she would not let him fall. Jamie ate the pancakes then stood. Eddie saw the look on his face, she held his arm and together they settled him on the couch. "Rest. I'm going to start making a simple crock pot dinner, Joey and Lila can come over later, we'll do family dinner on Wednesday."

Jamie nodded, "Eddie, you just got out of the hospital, don't over do it."

"I won't…rest." Eddie tucked an afghan over Jamie's body and headed back to the kitchen.

As it turned out, Danny was under the weather and wasn't going to come to dinner. Jack though asked if he and Rita could come for a little while to discuss some wedding ideas with Molly and Joe. Sean would swing by to check on his aunt and uncle and fuss over his newest patients. Eddie agreed and had chicken paprikash going from noon while Jamie slept.

Eddie took time for herself to sit and rest while playing cards with Frank. Jamie slept nearly three hours before getting up and taking a shower. "Hey, Eddie you okay?"

Eddie nodded, "I'm good. Can you play the next couple hands, I have to do my lymphedema sleeve. Joey is coming with Molly, Jack with Rita, Lila is bringing the twins and Sean is stopping in but Danny and Linda are staying home, Danny's not feeling well."

Jamie nodded and started to shuffle the deck of cards.

While Eddie was doing her sleeve Lila arrived with both babies each in their carrier. Reagan was wide awake watching everything that was going on; Finn was sleeping.

"Hey, Mom," Lila sat down and took the blankets off her twins. "Your arm looks really good."

"I feel pretty good today, but Dad was down earlier. Oh Lila, I am so confused. I'm angry with Dad for keeping me in the dark, I know he's not happy with me anymore and I'm just waiting for the toher shoe to drop."

"Mom, Dad loves you, that part really is crazy talk. He loves you to pieces, maybe that love has changed over time, but it's not gone away. I know that because when you locked us out of your room we all sat together hoping you'd change your mind."

Eddie looked down, "I can't believe I did that to you and your brother. I just feel…I'm scared, I'm scared that…"

Lila smiled and reached over to hug her mother, "I know. You have some problems with your blood and your kidneys and you feel out of control. I know. Here, hold your granddaughter. I'll check on dinner."

Eddie took over baby duty while Lila helped cook. Eddie changed both twins diapers and noticed Finn working on a little diaper rash. Eddie was just about to inform Lila when Joey and Molly arrived. "Hey, Lila put you to work already?" Joey asked.

Eddie shook her head lifting a fussy Finn, "No, she's helping with dinner and I'm helping with the babies. Can you get your sister for me though, Finn has a little rash on his oo-hoo."

Joey burst out laughing, "Oo-hoo?"

"That's the scientific name for it when it's little," Eddie insisted. "Isn't that right, Molly?"

Molly laughed, "Rule one, always agree with your mother-in-law," Eddie advised. "Here, you need to practice."

Molly took Reagan and started to cuddle her as Rita and Jack arrived for dinner.

Both younger ladies took a baby while Eddie went to put the finishing touches on dinner. "We're just waiting on Sean…"

The family waited nearly an hour for Sean, but he didn't come. It wasn't unusual that he wouldn't show up, he sometimes got caught at work and wasn't able to call. The family, that now included Danny and Linda since not being at dinner was just to foreign for them, began eating around six.

An hour later, Eddie and Jamie were doting over their grandchildren while Frank insisted on helping clean up. Frank turned away from the sink just finishing the last dinner dishes to see Joey and Molly helping set up for dessert. Molly just picked up the tray smiling when Joey gave her a kiss on the cheek before she started back into the dining room. When Joey turned around he blushed realizing his grandfather was watching them with a smile.

"Don't be ashamed Joe, my Mary used to love kisses to the cheek too," Frank advised, taking a sip of hot tea. Joey smiled too but quickly looked away embarrassed at showing any affection in front of his grandfather. He grabbed a pile of plates from the counter bringing them to the dining room, helping Molly . They exchanged smiles passing by to get the table set going back to finishing before the coffee brewed.

"You're wrong kid, I bet you Nash scores 20 goals this season; he just needs time that's why we acquired him." Danny emphasized in the middle of a heated discussion with Jamie over the Rangers recently losing streak.

Jamie gave a small shake of his head disagreeing having seen most of this year's games ending in more loses then wins. "No way, Danny. The season is half over already and he can't even get an empty net goal. It isn't just him though, seems the whole team is on a drought, I hate to say it Danny but they aren't going far this season even if they make it to the playoffs."

Before Danny could respond, Jamie's cell phone rang and interrupted the wager Jamie was about to set with his brother. Sighing he pulled his cell out answering it, "Reagan." All eyes turned away allowing Jamie to take whatever business call urgently needed his attention, knowing it had to be an emergency if they were calling during Sunday dinner. Even as Frank walked in joining his family the smile on his face faded, he always admitted those phone calls weren't ones he missed.

"When did the call come in and who made it? Okay what hospital? Yeah tell my detail to get here forthwith and I want any and all updates do you understand?" Jamie's blue eyes widened ending the call with a deep sigh. He rubbed his eyes tiredly aware his family's eyes were on him waiting to hear what happened.

"Sorry dad I have to go, Jack I need you to come with me to the hospital."

Jack put the plate down in front of Frank curious how bad the call they were about to rush off to. "What is son?" Frank asked knowing he probably wouldn't be able to tell them police businesses. Jamie surprised them when he looked up at his family eyes teary eyed.

"Sean was sent to the hospital, he was attacked. Jack and I are going to see him then I'll let you know how he's doing and if he's up for visitors."

"Well, I want to go too!" Danny said jumping out of his seat. "Linda bring the car."

"Danny, I don't think it's that bad, Sean made the call himself. In fact, I think you should stay here with the family, Joey, Jack, and I are the ones that nieed to be down there."

"That is my son, Jamie!" Linda snapped. "I'm going!"

"Linda, Sean is…please don't come until we get a statement. He's okay, he's all right, it's just…the nature of things. Joey, please. Jack…"

Jack looked at his parents, "Mom, I think Uncle Jamie is saying Sean was the latest victim in a string of assaults on young to middle aged men. The nature of the assault isn't violent so much as humiliating so please just wait."

Danny and Linda sighed but sat down. Jamie's detail arrived with in the half hour and the three active duty cops headed out. Eddie looked at her sister in law and put her arm around her. "I am sure as soon as they have what they need they'll let you go see him. Joey will get the evidence out in no time."

Linda nodded, she hoped Eddie was right. She hoped it was just something that would embarrass her son and not something that was harmful to him. No one in the family was prepared for the truth, even Jamie, as it would turn out, hadn't seen this coming…the only one that did, was Joe.

 **A/N: Even when the Reagan's try not to have Sunday dinner they end up together. Tensions are still running high between Jamie and Eddie but perhaps the need to come together for Sean will help soothe the couple's ire.**

 **Next Update – August 14** **th** **– Eddie and Jamie continue to battle, Danny and Linda visit Sean, Jack and Joey clash.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Sean was resting in an ER cubicle when Jamie, Jack, and Joey arrived. Jamie was the first one to push back the curtain and go to his nephew. He saw the ligature marks on his wrists and ankles, but other than that and a bump on the head he appeared none the worse for wear. "Hey Pal, how are you feeling?" Jamie kept his voice light and gentle. He remembered when Sean was little and had fallen off his bike, hitting his head very hard. He'd been in a coma for days and it had shaken the family to its very core. "Your brother and cousin are outside, and I have you parents waiting at home before coming down. Do you remember anything?"

Sean sighed, "I remember this lady…she stopped me, wanted to know the time. I thought it strange but I looked down at my phone to tell her and she reached out and touched me someplace on my face. Then everything got hazy for a while…"

"Where on your face?" Jamie asked. "Take your time."

Sean thought hard, "Maybe by my ear…"

Jamie nodded and made some notes. "What else can you remember?"

"When I woke up…I was tied and the sheets…the sheets were stained…they smelled like musky and they were stained."

Jamie took a breath, "All right. I'm going to send in Joe and his partner to take the rest of this statement, then Jack will sit with you until we get your parents."

Sean nodded, "Uncle Jamie…it's that woman…the one that's been drugging men and…"

"I think so, Sean," Jamie replied. "Please try to tell Joe and Anse everything you can. I'm going to let Joe work the case, if she can be got, we will get her." Jamie put his arm around his nephew but he balked. Jamie understood, rape was rape no matter who the victim.

Joey and Anse stepped into the cubicle while Jamie joined Jack. "He's going to be okay but…I think it's our female rapist and from what I can gather so far, Sean was a victim."

Jack sighed and started for his brother, "Let Joey and Anse get his statement. It's their case, they are already working this case for two other victims. They will get this lady, I promise you. Take a deep breath and tell your folks they can head over okay?"

Jack nodded, "I can see him soon?"

"Yeah, as soon as they are done," Jamie promised sitting down heavily. "Ask your folks to bring your Aunt when they come?"

Jack nodded and went to place the phone call. Jamie put his hands up to his temples, his head was throbbing thinking that this vicious creature had attacked one of his own family.

Behind the curtain Joey sat on the bed, "The other victims can't seem to agree on her description," Joey sighed. "We have red hair, green eyes, blonde hair, blue eyes, blonde hair brown eyes, brown hair, brown eyes…"

"Red nail polish, her real nails…the didn't feel fake," Sean said flatly. "And her hair was red but it's a wig…it had synthetic shine to it."

"What about the eye color?" Anse asked.

"Green but it was contacts, there was a circle around the eye…so she does not have red hair and green eyes…"

Joey smiled this was the best clue they had so far. "Do you remember anything about what happened after she touched you?" he asked as he swabbed Sean's ears for drugs and chemicals.

"The room smelled acidic, like a lab…It didn't feel like house or a hotel it was set up like that but…"

"So maybe it's a lab or an office…" Anse asked.

"Maybe," Sean sighed. "I'm sorry, Joe I am really tired. Can we finish this later?"

Joey smiled, "Of course we can. You get some rest, we'll talk more tomorrow. You did really great, we have a lot more to go on…"

Danny, Linda, and Eddie hurried into the hospital. Danny and Linda straight for their son's room, and Eddie directly for Jamie. "Here," she told him quickly. "I have your migraine medication." Eddie placed the pills on Jamie's tongue and held the water bottle. "Is Sean okay?"

"We've got a serial rapist attacking young men and tonight our nephew became her latest victim," Jamie sighed. "Joey has been saying for months to his partner, to his Captain, to me that these robberies weren't just robberies. I listened to him but I didn't give him the teeth he needed to really push this. How will Danny be able to forgive me?"

Eddie felt her heart lurch, Jamie was taking on so much. "Jamie, step down, let Jack handle all of this. You are too tired, things at home are too busy…"

"Things at home…" Jamie sighed. "I can't step down right now, Eddie. I can't…"

"Jamie, I watch you getting headaches again and having problems with your hand, I bet if we check your pressure it's through the roof. Honestly…This is part of why I'm so upset with you. You are putting so many other things before what is most important, before what should be most important."

"What's that? Our marriage? My retirement because that is all you seem to care about lately," Jamie snapped."

"I do care about saving what is left of this marriage but it seems you don't and I care about your retirement because it's what I think you need for your health, which is what is most important, Jamie."

"I'm the Commission of the NYPD…"

Eddie sighed, "You are also a son, a father, a husband, a brother, an uncle and most recently a grandfather. Those babies are so precious, they deserve what our kids had growing up, a present and active grandfather."

"I will be that to them, I'll be a better husband to you, I swear I will." Jamie looked at Eddie, this was the closest they had been in days. Eddie smiled, "Don't worry about me, get this done. Please finish what you have to finish."

For Danny and Linda it was as if Sean was a little boy again when they saw him in his hospital room. Linda hurried over to him and reached out to hug him but Jack stopped her. "Joey and Anse are going to need to have the lab guys take evidence from Sean so…"

"No," Sean said firmly. "No one is taking anything from me!"

"Sean," Danny said gently but in a detective like manner. "Your body has evidence on it, and Joe and his partner need that evidence."

"No!" Sean looked at Jack. "I told them and I'm telling you, I do not want this, I do not want all of this. None of the other guys did anything about it, why should I?"

"Because you're…" Jack began but Sean cut him off.

"Don't say it's because I am a Regan, that's a cop out. I didn't do anything the other Reagans did so why should I start now. I'm not giving them DNA."

Linda sighed "It's all right, Sean, you don't have to."

"Actually," Joey replied from the doorway. "Aunt Linda, yes he does. Sean if you don't comply willingly I can get a warrant and force you to permit samples…"

"But you won't be doing that," Jack said. "This witness does not wish to comply with evidence collection, we have made it our practice to treat victims with dignity and compelling this one to comply forcibly is not in keeping with our departments' doctrine."

"Chief may I speak with you outside?" Joey asked and stepped back to allow Jack to exit.

"We have nothing!" Joey whispered forcibly. "Sean gave us nothing more than what we knew before. We told him of course he was helpful but this only thing he can really give us is access to his body so we can swab for DNA."

"He doesn't want it," Jack replied. "And he's not just any old vic."

"No, he's my cousin and your brother and we should go after his twice as hard now, it's one of our own!"

Eddie had taken a walk to the vending machine and overheard the two cousins battling this out. How often had she heard Danny and Jamie disagree over the years? Of course Eddie's instinct was to side with her son, but she had to admit that male rape was still a crime that carried a great deal of stigma. It should be Sean's choice.

It was very late at night when Jamie and Eddie arrived home. Lila and Steven were on the sofa each with a baby. Jamie moved wordlessly to his grandson and took him from his father's arms holding him close and nuzzling his little neck. He handed the boy back to Steven then took Reagan. She was nuzzled and kissed then given back. Jamie didn't speak, he turned and went up to bed in Joey's room.

Lila looked at Eddie. "How's Sean?"

"Physically, Sean's going to be okay. He's got some bruises, a bump on the head but it's inside that's going to be hard on him and one everyone." Eddie sat down and took off her shoes, massaging her tired feet. "Your brother and Jack as disagreeing over how to handle Sean not wanting them to collect evidence and your father is additionally stressed now."

"Mom, I know you and Dad aren't doing so well," Lila began but Eddie held up her hand.

"I love your father very much," Eddie said firmly. "I need my space now to come to terms with his changing love for me."

Lila began to protest but Jamie called out, "Eddie, I put my glasses down and I can't find them." That was their code for the fact that Jamie needed help.

Eddie stood, "I'll see you tomorrow, our first trip to the park. We'll take lots of pictures for you Steven. You stay safe."

Steven hugged Eddie and helped Lila load the twins into the car to go home. Eddie climbed the steps and turned into Joey's room. Jamie was lying across the bed, still in his clothes, as messy as the morning Joe found him dragging himself to the bathroom.

Eddie sighed. "Can you move your arm well at all?"

Jamie nodded, "I can't get any of the buttons."

Eddie gently undid the buttons on Jamie's shirt and pants and slid his arms and legs out of the clothing. She removed his brace and socks and massage the skin. "Push down on my hand with your foot."

Jamie obeyed and had control over his leg, albeit weak. Eddie lifted his legs and propped them on pillows, "Try to get some rest." She delivered a cup of water and some crackers in case Jamie's migraine medicine upset his stomach. "Just call if you need me."

Eddie moved for the bedroom door, "Eddie," Jamie said in the darkness. "Why do you doubt I love you? Of all of the things that are killing me right now, that's the worst of it. You doubt I love you and…"

Eddie stopped and turned around, "I doubt how you can love me, Jamie, when I can't even like the person I am let alone love that person. I know your feelings for me have changed, I'm not the woman I once was, I'm not even half of her. It's not the cancer either, I survived all of that just fine…I don't know what's wrong and you…You just aren't there like I need you to be. I really need you right now to help me and you're divided. I have asked you over and over to please take time for us, you always have an excuse. Now I need time for me. It has nothing to do with my loving you." To prove her point, Eddie moved to the bed and kissed Jamie softly on the lips. "You need your rest, you have a busy week ahead of you I'm sure."

With that Eddie headed to their room, and unbeknownst to each other, Jamie and Eddie each cried themselves to sleep.

 **A/N: I am pretty sure no one guessed when I called this One of Our Own it was going to go quite like that. Male rape is among the most underreported crimes in the United States. It is estimated that 1 out of every 10 rape victims is a male. 93.3 % of male rape victims are raped by other men…Female on male rape is extremely rare and therefore under researched and often unbelieved.**

 **This Monday, August 15** **th** **, the sequel to That's What Love Is For, entitled Because You Loved Me, will post. I plan to drop it about 7pm EDT, so please check it out.**

 **Next Update – August 17** **th** **– Joey and Jack continued to clash, Jamie and Eddie take a step towards healing.**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"We have nothing more to go on than when we started," Joey groused feeling very frustrated that his own cousin, a Reagan, was refusing to allow them to collect evidence. Joey had talked his captain into signing a petition for the DA's office to compel the hospital to deliver any materials collected from Sean's bed or room.

Jack caught wind of his request and called Joey and Captain Benson balling each of them out, but not before the evidence was turned over to their division.

Joey requested it to be processed by crime scene then turned back to the collection of statements he and Anse had put together over the last few weeks. "We have no physical except what she isn't, Sean's doctor's eye saw the difference between the real and the synthetic. We'll have some DNA maybe…I can't believe Jack…" 

"I can't believe you!" Jack burst out as the rank and file issued the command, "Ten hut!" Everyone in the room stood at attention.

"You purposely went behind my back! I gave you a direct order not to pursue this…"

"Sir," Joey broke in. "Respect but your decision was based solely upon familial ties to the victim. You were not making said order in response to this case!"

"Nevertheless," Jack began but Joey cut him off.

"Nevertheless, your brother was victimized by this sicko! My cousin…was victimized by this sicko and I want her off the street where she can't hurt anyone else. We don't even know her motive. Is she trying to make a statement or is she just a nutcase?! We needed that evidence and would have compelled anyone to provide evidence in this situation, regardless of my tie to them. So should you! You are too close, Chief!"

The two men continued their heated argument, Anse stepped in and pulled Joey back, "Settle this part at home, Joe. We have work to do…"

Anse put Joey in his chair and the two men began to work again. Jack was still smarting with anger later that night when he met Rita for drinks.

"He's my cousin, my own cousin and he has no respect!" Jack snapped. "He's just like Uncle Jamie that way, he's always having to be right, always having to be the best…"

Rita sighed, "I hear that you are angry with yourself for not paying more attention sooner, but it's not your fault honey. I can't know how hard it is to see your brother abused like that, it has to be one of the hardest things, but maybe, Joe and his partner can find justice for Sean."

Jack sighed, "Sean won't look at my mother. He can't look her in the eye. He talks to my dad and to me but just barely. That person isn't my brother, he wanted to let it go and move on and Joe just had to keep pushing it!"

Rita rubbed Jack's arm, "Take a breath. What's important now is that you don't let it interfere with your friendship off the job. That is something so special about you and Joe, right?"

Jack sighed, "Honestly right now I can't look at him. He betrayed our family, we put family first. I'm not sure I can forgive that."

Across town, Molly and Joe were having a similar conversation. Joey was pacing his apartment, still angry at being dressed down in public. "It's my case, I should get to investigate it without interference from 1PP. If my dad isn't pushing it, why is Jack?"

Molly sighed, "It's his brother, if it were Lila…"

"If it were Lila I'd have held her down to the bed screaming if it meant I got the evidence to put that animal behind bars," Joey growled. "Even you…if some SOB dared to touch you…"

Molly moved closer and held Joey in her arms, "Hush now..you are making yourself upset for nothing, hush…"

Joey sighed and melted into Molly's arms. He was amazed at how she could soothe and settle him with just a touch. Molly placed her lips to Joey's head, "I will talk to Rita about this…but you have to do that right thing. You know what that is and so does Jack. He is trying to protect his brother."

Joey sighed, "I know he is. I guess I spent enough times in SUV to know the psychological damage. I had to hurt Sean now to help him and countless others. I'm sorry though for you, Jack is stubborn this might damage the wedding."

Molly sighed, "Do I get to marry you? Live with you for the rest of my life and have a marriage like your parents have? That's all really need, we can go to the courthouse and have that done, though I'd prefer a church."

"You will have a church and a gown…as for a marriage like my parents…" Joey sighed.

"Still having trouble?"

Joey nodded, "Dad really hurt Mom but she's not making it any easier. They are babysitting for the twins tonight so Lila can get some rest. They are very challenging for her and the smoke eater is working all nights this week, she's really tired."

"Well, tell her I'll be glad to help too," Molly replied. "But I do hope that your mom and Dad get this worked out. Let me rub your shoulders…"

Eddie smiled at Reagan looking up at her bright eyed thrilled to be babysitting her grandbabies. Smiling Jamie took the empty seat beside her giving Reagan's tummy a gentle tickle as he put an arm around Eddie.

"We're lucky you know? Amazing kids two beautiful grandbabies, one moderately tolerable son-in-law…" With that statement he smiled at Finn who slept soundly in the carrier while his sister refused to sleep.

"Yeah we are," Eddie agreed cradling her granddaughter missing holding a baby in her arms. The sight of his beautiful wife holding a baby made Jamie smile, he leaned over kissing her cheek then moved down her neck.

Once Reagan fell asleep Eddie placed her in the carrier carefully leaning back into Jamie's awaiting arms. Tightening his grip on her Jamie kissed her again moving up to her ear this time shifting his wife so she rested against him.

Eddie breathed in slowly shifting in his arms away as chills ran down her body. "Jamie I need to get them upstairs and changed."

"They're fine babe just relax okay, you're so beautiful." Jamie cupped her chin with his hands turning her head so she looked at him until their eyes met. Jamie leaned in again wanting to show her how much he still loved her, how beautiful she was to him but Eddie pulled away holding her hands on her lap.

Jamie took her hands, "The babies are sleeping, they are content. We can put them in their beds and we can go to our bed and hold each other…"

"Jamie…how can you still…I'm so sorry…"

Jamie wasn't surprised when Eddie burst into tears. "I'm been horrible, I can't…I don't understand what is happening to me Jamie."

Jamie wrapped Eddie in his arms, "I know baby. I know you don't understand and you need for me to understand and I'm not able to do it. I'm so sorry."

Jamie tilted Eddie's head towards him until their eyes met. "You haven't been horrible Eddie we'll find out what's going on okay? Just know that I love you no matter what."

Eddie blinked in response letting Jamie's words soak in, feeling his arms around her feeling worse at how amazing he was being. "I mean it, baby, all right? I mean it…" Jamie rocked Eddie and let her cry in his arms. "I can't imagine how out of control you feel and my not being forthcoming with certain things, I think it through you for more a loop. I was just trying to protect you."

Eddie pulled back and sniffled, "I know. I'm trying to protect you too. Something is wrong and I'm so scared but you…you need your rest and you need to focus on yourself and I…."

"You are my wife and I am your husband. Maybe instead of trying to protect each other and pushing each other away so much, we just take care of each other huh? I focus on you and you can focus on me…maybe that's better? No more covering things up, I promise."

Eddie smiled, her first real smile in a good while. "Okay Jamie." Eddie sniffled. "I love you so much. I didn't want so much distance, I just didn't know what to do. I hurt so much inside and I…"

"Ssh," Jamie cooed. "That's enough now. Let's take these little ones upstairs, put them down and try to sleep. I haven't slept well since I haven't had you in my arms."

"You know how much I need my rest," Jamie replied.

Eddie nodded, "I know, I see you struggling and it breaks my heart so much to know it's my fault."

Jamie carefully lifted Finn out of his seat, the little boy tended to be calmer and it was easier if Jamie carried him. Eddie took Reagan and together they carried their grandchildren upstairs. Gently they each laid a baby in the crib and smiled when they stretched tiny limbs getting settled. Jamie draped his arm around Eddie, "Come on, we can rest a little before their next feeding."

Eddie slowly walked with Jamie to their room. She carefully unbuttoned his shirt and pants helping him remove the clothing. Jamie helped Eddie get into her nightgown focusing all his attention in her. "Your legs look good, they are back to normal color and their usual size. Personally, I like you like this. I like you fuller and sweeter…" Jamie began to kiss Eddie's cheeks and neck.

"I don't like it, it feels wrong and people stare…I'm so short the extra weight looks…"

Jamie nodded his understanding, "Well go see Dr. Gupta, we'll see Dr. McLean and we will keep working until you are feeling all better and much happier, I promise you baby."

Jamie held Eddie tight. "My leg is swelling up look at that."

Eddie provided pillows and a gentle massage. "You need to see the doctor about that…let's take a few days the end of next week, once things are settled more with Sean…to see doctors."

Jamie smiled, "I'm going to see him tomorrow after Lila's picks up the twins. You want to come, it's not a commissioner visit, it's a Godfather visit."

Eddie nodded, "Honestly I have been feeling so on and off sick…but I do want to try."

Jamie kissed Eddie's cheek, "I know you do…"

"Waahh..Waahh…"

Jamie laughed, "Oh I don't miss this part…"

"I do, I have them. Rest your leg…I can't wait to sleep at your side again."

Jamie beamed, it seemed that he and Eddie were taking the first steps toward fixing what was wrong in their marriage. Eddie returned half an hour later with Finn in her arms. "He wants his grandpa," Eddie replied handing Jamie the bright eyed, wide awake, but quiet boy.

"Oh he does, does he?" Jamie took the baby and snuggled him. "What about you? Do you want his grandpa too?"

"No," Eddie replied. "But I'll take my husband back if he'll have me."

Jamie held Finn and rocked Eddie with his free arm. The tiny boy fell asleep against Jamie's warm chest, Eddie did the same…Carefully Jamie slid Eddie onto her pillow and carried Finn to his crib. "Goodnight sweet boy," Jamie whispered returning to Eddie. He laid down and pulled her in close, "Goodnight my love."

Eddie's only reply was a sigh.

 **A/N: Just as two come together, two others come apart. I wanted to give you a glance at the relationships between Rita and Jack and Molly and Joey as well since their wedding is coming up. I continue to be thrilled with the response to this story.**

 **Tomorrow, I will be going into the hospital and having surgery set to take place likely this Monday. This story and Because You Loved Me will continue to update, the dates will be posted below each new chapter. Pillow Talk, which is written weekly, will be on a brief hiatus.**

 **Next Updated – August 20** **th** **– Jamie and Eddie visit Sean, Eddie and Linda talk mom to mom.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Eddie and Jamie saw their grandchildren back to their Mom early the next morning. Lila was in tears by the time she arrived to pick up the babies. "Oh, I didn't think I could miss them this much."

Eddie smiled softly, "You always miss your babies when they aren't with you, but it does get easier. They were angels…"

Eddie looked up at Jamie with a soft smile. Jamie slid his arms around Eddie's waist and gave her a little rock, his way of showing his own baby girl he was mending things with her Mom. It hurt him that Lila had been so standoffish. She had always been his baby and Joey had been Eddie's but this time it was the other way around. When Eddie wasn't able to come and help Jamie, Joey stepped in and also kept it quiet.

Jamie watched Lila snuggle her twins taking time to give each one love. Frank appeared in the kitchen, chest moving up and down visibly. "Jamie, I think I need some of that heavy medicine…"

Eddie pulled out of Jamie's arms, "Okay, Dad…can you walk to the recliner and I'll get your stronger medicine for you?"

Frank shook his head, "Hurts…"

"All right, go lie down and I'll bring it." Eddie looked back at Jamie, Frank had so many setbacks lately, they hadn't had time to discuss them since they had been struggling. "I'll add a trip to Dr. Burg for Dad to our list."

Lila sighed, "He's getting worse?"

"No," Jamie replied. "He's just not getting as many good days but the struggles he's having is not any worse each time. Mom and I are going to make appointments to see our doctors and see what is going on with Mom and with me…and Dad too."

Lila smiled and stepped closer to put her arms around Jamie, "Thank you, Daddy. I know it's been really hard with Mom, she's just been struggling so much…Her body image has been so distorted since the babies came home and I think what made me angry was you trying to help Aunt Erin after Nikki's big ugly mouth did this to Mom."

Jamie nodded "They aren't the same person, Kitten. You need to remember that, all right?"

"I do, but all I can see is Mom being so upset and then she's in the hospital."

Jamie nodded, "I made a mistake, Kitten. I let Mom get lost in the shuffle a little and I am NOT going to do that again all right? I am taking Mom to her doctors, we are going to my doctor so Mom stops worrying, I promise you and I promised Mom, this is getting better. Now give me those babies, so I can say bye to them."

Eddie stepped out of the bedroom, "Jamie, I think I need to stay home, he's wheezing very badly."

"I'll stay Mom," Lila offered. "You go with Dad to visit Sean and we can have lunch when you get back. I can make shrimp salad."

Eddie smiled, "Okay, Jamie?"

"Okay," Jamie replied sliding his arm around his wife once again. "Thank you Lila."

After a quick breakfast, Jamie and Eddie headed to Sean's apartment. He had been discharged being relatively uninjured by the ordeal. Jamie rang and was very surprised that Linda was not hovering over her boy. Sean opened the door and offered a half smile, "Joe already got all the evidence," he greeted.

"I'm not here as the commissioner today, I'm just Uncle Jamie. We wanted to see how you were doing Sport."

Sean sighed, "How am I doing? Well, I still have a headache and upset stomach from the drugs. My wrists and ankles itch and I have to have HIV tests for the next year or until someone catches her. My brother and my cousin are making me a battle ground but other than that…"

Eddie sighed, she felt for her nephew having been sexually assaulted herself. It hadn't gone to this point, but it was very difficult to cope with. "I brought some tea leaves you can use for the itching" Eddie advised. "If you want I can make the paste now and you can have it ready when you need it. I would do this when my skin was itching after chemotherapy."

"Thanks Aunt Eddie," Sean replied. "I'd like that actually." Sean rolled up his sleeves revealing the healing ligature marks on his wrist. Eddie set about making the salve while Jamie quietly talked with the Sean.

"When the DNA comes back, if there's a match, the police are going to want a positive ID from you. I'm going to ask you this only one time, what do you want me to do when or if that happens?"

Sean sighed, "At this point, Uncle Jamie, I might as well go all the way. I wanted to let it go and pretend it never happened but Joe pushed and I think he was right to do that in hindsight. We do have to get her off the streets, one of these days she'll go too far and someone will die or get very hurt!"

Jamie smiled, "Your Dad talk to you?"

Sean nodded, "He did and my Mom too but that's kind of tough. It's different with Aunt Eddie, it's like talking to the police but my mom…"

Jamie nodded, "I understand that, Sport. Listen, Aunt Eddie and I are here for your, Joe's on the case so he can't speak to you as a cousin, but Lila has some training so…"

"Thanks, Uncle Jamie," Sean replied as Eddie returned with the salve. "Okay, let me see…"

Sean found his aunt's touch gentle and soothing. "That feels nice, Aunt Eddie."

"It's soothing to the skin," Eddie replied. "I have enough for a few days. When you go through chemo all the odd side effects they don't warn you about you find out how to work with it."

Sean nodded, "Aunt Eddie, I need a favor."

"Of course Sean anything you need," Eddie assured him watching his face twist into a serious frown.

"Can you talk to mom, I just…this is really embarrassing and hard enough. I know she's struggling with it too and she means well but I need to deal with it how I think is best." Sean's eyes averted to hers pleadingly, knowing it wasn't fair to ask but if anyone could talk with Linda it was Eddie.

Eddie remained by his side surprised at the request understanding both points of view. If something like this happened to one of her babies she'd be doing exactly the same thing Linda was as would Jamie. Still, she could feel how Sean needed to come to terms with what happened by himself and adding pressure wasn't the way to do it.

"I can't promise anything Sean but I'll try." Eddie didn't want to disappoint him with the promise something will happen but the least she could do is start the conversation. That in itself seemed enough for Sean who smiled.

"Thanks Aunt Eddie, I appreciate it."

"I understand somewhat," Eddie replied. "When I first was on the force, one of my boyfriends broke into my house, pushed me down, groped me, beat me…I was never violated like you were, but he did try and it took me a very long time before I felt anything close to myself again. You have to figure out how you can live with it and there is no right or wrong way to do that."

Sean smiled, "Thanks. You know what's really bothering me?"

"No," Jamie replied. "If you want to tell us…if it's your cousin and brother I will…"

"It's that…when I donated sperm to the banks in medical school…I always wondered nine or ten months later if a baby I was delivering was mine…Now, I'm not wondering…I am not even caring if somehow during this I fathered a child."

Jamie put his hand on Sean's, "Try to think of it as the same thing to get through it. We'll let you rest now and I'll bring your aunt by to talk to your Mom."

Jamie offered Sean a hug and he accepted but when Eddie offered he shied away. "When you are ready…let me know if you need more of the salve."

Eddie left with Jamie's hand protectively on her back. "You feel up to going to see Linda now?"

Eddie nodded, "I think I better. Sean needs to do this in his own way."

Jamie quickly agreed and turned the car for Staten Island.

"Hey you two," Linda greeted Jamie and Eddie. "Danny is out back cutting the grass. What's going on?"

Eddie smiled and hugged Linda, "We just came from seeing Sean so we thought we'd come by and see you."

"Oh," Linda replied. "He told me not to come over today, I cooked meals for him but…"

Eddie nodded, "He's good, I think he just needs a little space."

Jamie headed out to talk to Danny outside and let the ladies talk.

Over a cup of tea Eddie took a deep breath, "Linda, Sean asked me to come out here and talk to you. Sean loves you so much and I think his watching you cope with what's happened…"

"Rape…My son was raped you can say it," Linda replied getting slightly tense.

"Yes, I know and as a Mom I cannot manage how you are doing. If it were one of my two I'd be going insane!"

"It's so uncommon though," Linda sighed. "A man getting raped by a woman…it's still a stigma and I want Sean to know we don't see him different…"

"But you are treating him differently already Linda," Eddie sighed. "You're always at his house, you never did that before. You are fussing and hovering and I agree, as a Mom…my kids are only in their 20s but you don't stop being a mom because your kids are grown or married or parents themselves. I know you can't stop being a Mom to him, I know that…"

"But you're going to ask me to stop anyway right?" Linda fought tears sitting back down.

"No, I'm just going to say that Sean asked me to talk to you about taking a break," Eddie said gently. "I think seeing you is shame for him, he's embarrassed and he's as still smarting over women being near him. He needs to get through this, in his own way. That's what he needs to do…He asked me the favor of speaking to you."

Linda sniffled, "I just…he's my baby Eddie. He's my little boy and he's hurting…"

Eddie put her arms around Linda, "I know he is. I know…and trust me, he will get better and if he wants or needs that mother's touch, he's going to reach for you. Let him reach for you. Call him and check on him but give him space, he needs to learn to breathe again."

Linda nodded and pulled back, "If he talks to you, can you just let me know he's okay?"

"Of course, I did give him some salve for his wrists and ankles and he did tell Jamie he's on board with putting this woman away. I promise you this is going to feel better for him, but all of us, me, you Danny, and my Joe who I am going to talk with need to give him space. We can do this."

Linda smiled, with the family rallying around, it felt like they could.

 **A/N: Sean is slowly coming to terms with his attack and Eddie and Jamie are getting closer still. Poor Linda, a worried Momma Bear who's cub needs his space, that can't feel nice. The Reagans will rally and they will survive.**

 **Next Update – August 23** **rd** **– Frank's COPD is getting worse and Nikki's appearance at family dinner pushes Eddie back a few steps in her goal of self improvement.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Jamie slowly opened his eyes until the room came into focus still half asleep. He sat up feeling the cold spot beside him where Eddie should have still slept beside him. He looked around in confusion. "Eddie?"

When Jamie received no answer, Jamie threw the covers back and got up to check the bathroom worried when he didn't find her in there. His mind wandered thinking she was mad at him and left after he fell asleep the night before. He started downstairs wondering if he was about to get scolded for something.

Much to his relief when Jamie passed the living room he found Eddie sitting beside Frank making sure the machine he wore over his mouth was secure to aid his breathing. "Eddie, there you are. Is everything okay?" Jamie stepped in studying his father worrying again.

"Yeah I heard Frank struggling to breathe and that constant coughing he does. He was outside under the bedroom window so no one would hear." Eddie turned to give Frank a menacing look for attempting to hide his health issues continuing to explain why she wasn't in bed with her husband. "So I helped him into the chair and I'm making sure he's doing the machine."

Jamie walked in until he reached the chair where his father sat aided by his wonderful wife hearing his wheezing breaths even on the machine. "Thanks Eddie for taking care of him, I really appreciate it. I'm going to make some tea do you want some? What time is everyone coming over?"

"Sure I just want to make sure Frank is okay. Lila said she'll be over by 3 to help and Joe is working a case but he said by four the latest." Eddie never took her eyes off Frank making sure he kept the machine over his mouth as he'd been known to fiddle with it when no one was looking.

Frank was still coughing around the machine, there was little strength in the cough and he was not moving much air. "Put your tummy down," Eddie advised rubbing the old man's back. Jamie hurried to make two cups of tea and a cup of coffee for himself. He hoped the hot liquid would soothe Frank's spasming chest muscles.

Jamie carefully carried the mugs to the living room on a tray. He had relaxed a little bit more since Eddie had returned to their bed and had taken up her usual night routines. Jamie had better command over his hand.

"I thought some hot liquid might help him expel some of that," Jamie suggested. "Dad, take the tea, it's cool enough to drink." Eddie removed the mask and held the cup.

Frank kept gagging softly, a constant "uh aaa, uh aaa" sound the shook Jamie to his core. "Take a sip the try to cough it out," Jamie coached but to no avail. The exacerbation lasted another three hours leaving the old man weak and flaccid in his chair.

Eddie sighed, she felt bad for the man who'd been like a father to her. She sat on the edge of his chair and rubbed his back. "I hate seeing you like this Frank, maybe we should see a doctor about your COPD it's getting worse."

When Frank tried to answer her he instead lurched into another coughing fit. With a shake of her head Eddie pushed the machine back over his back a worried expression taking over her face.

"F f f..." Frank wheezed unable to say anything else.

"Ssh, don't try to talk," Eddie soothed then looked up at her husband. "We can't leave him like this, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "We have to get him to his bed, he'll be so embarrassed if the rest of the family sees."

Jamie thought a minute, "My old wheelchair is in the garage, we can push him into the bedroom in that." He hurried to get the chair preferring to leave Eddie to soothe Frank. She had a special touch, Linda claimed it came from being a mother.

It took the couple half an hour to get Frank into bed and hooked to the aerosol oxygen. "Rest here, Dad. We'll bring you food later, you need to rest."

Frank just let his eyes fall closed, his chest finally at rest after working nearly five hours to move air.

Eddie was still getting herself dressed when Lila arrived one twin in each hand. "Mom, Dad, Grandpa?"

"In here, Kitten," Jamie called from the dining room. He was setting the long table for Sunday dinner.

"No dinner going?" Lila asked setting the twins down. "Is Mom okay?"

"Mom is fine, she's just finished her shower and her lymphedema sleeve, Grandpa had a bad morning and afternoon, we only just got ready now. I think it's going to be a makeshift Sunday dinner. If I mind the twins can you go to the store and get a bunch of chickens and some sides. I don't want to push Mom too hard."

Lila nodded, "Okay, sure. They ate before I left, they might need changed while I'm gone."

Jamie nodded and smiled as Lila headed out.

When Eddie came down she saw a set table and Jamie carefully changing Finn's diaper. "Your Uncle Joe liked to wet me, but you aren't going to wet Grandpa are you?"

Finn cooed and Eddie smiled, "You were always such a natural with babies."

"Not like you," Jamie replied. "Our kids would cry and cry for hours until you finally sang them to sleep with that lovely voice of yours. Lila went to pick up some food for dinner, it's warm for November and I don't want to have the kitchen hot. You were up and running with dad all morning."

"I don't remember Sunday dinner being catered very often when I was a young bride and young mother...what will the rest of the family say?"

"Don't worry about what anyone says, Eddie,' Jamie comforted. "You worry about the fact that we had to take care of Dad and that he's not able to breath well at all. I'll tell anyone with a comment the same thing!"

Eddie nodded and started to work on the salad she had purchased veggies for the day before. Lila returned a half hour later to Eddie laying rolls out to be baked. "Hey, Mom. You look good, your hair is so pretty pulled back like that."

Eddie kissed Lila's cheek, "Thank you honey. Wow, you really outdid yourself there. Go tell dad how much things were then come help, everyone will be here soon. The twins are in with your grandpa sleeping."

"Did you have to change them?"

"Dad changed them and he was fine, he is a diaper expert!"

"Finn still gets Steven now and again, he's not fast enough with the diaper."

Eddie laughed and helping Lila set the chicken and sides in bowls. "Hello!" Rita called as she and Jack arrived. "Can I…Oh, picked up dinner?"

"Grandpa was sick all morning and Mom didn't have time," Lila defended. "It's good, it's from that chicken place in Bensenhurst. Mom's got salad, bread, and I am about to boil the last of the good corn."

Rita rolled up her sleeves to help. Slowly the rest of the family arrived except for Sean, he'd begged off to rest. Eddie could feel the tension between Joey and Jack…but froze in place when Nikki arrived unannounced and alone for dinner.

Lila fixed her cousin with a stern glare that was lost on Nikki. "Where are those little babies?"

"Sleeping in grandpa's room, he's also sleeping," Jack replied. "Aunt Eddie, you need any help?"

"I think the ladies have it covered Jack, but thanks." Eddie smiled at her nephew, "Before you leave tonight I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes."

Jack nodded and smiled, "Sure think Aunt Eddie."

"Mom, don't try to fix Joey and Jack on your own," Lila warned.

"Yes, Eddie, let those two duke it out," Rita replied. 'Molly and I talked and we agreed that their little tiff won't interfere with our plans for the wedding. They'll marry us on the same day at the same alter and like it."

Eddie laughed, "You and Molly are going to fit into this family just fine!"

With the food on the table, the family sat down to say grace, minus Frank who was still sound asleep in the bedroom. The twins had woken up and were making the rounds to doting relatives allowing Lila to eat hands free.

"Mom, this is one of the best Sunday dinner we've had in a long time," Joey praised.

Eddie laughed, "It's catered, I didn't' have time this morning. Linda can you listen to Frank's chest before you leave. I was hoping Sean would come to check on him but I understand his wanting space."

"If it we me," Nikki offered. "I would want as much family around as I could get."

Eddie sighed, "Thankfully it isn't you, Nikki and trust me, there is a shame that comes with this that no one can understand unless you live it."

Jamie's hand slid across the table and squeezed Eddie's. "That's right. What was it over a week before you even told me and that line, praise the Lord, was not crossed. With Sean it was and we all have to give him time."

"He called me last night," Linda confessed to Eddie later that night. "He said the salve you gave to him worked and wants to have lunch tomorrow if I promise not to make him talk about the attack."

Eddie smiled, "That's good! He'll be okay, Linda. He will."

Linda smiled, "Let's talk about something else. Rita, did you and Molly make any progress this week?"

"Yes, we have a caterer and have it narrowed to two DJs. Molly is looking at sheath dresses and I'm looking at something more traditional with a lot of lace."

"You can bridge the two styles though," Linda advised. "You can have lace just not to full and she can have sheath but not too skin tight. Eddie, we should look for our gowns soon. I was thinking of periwinkle or mauve."

"Is it acceptable for the Mother of the Groom to where black?" Eddie asked. "I don't want to embarrass anyone. I was thinking black fit and flare…the one good think about having replacement boobs is they never sag, maybe these old girls will draw the eye away…"

"Aunt Eddie, fit and flare…maybe last year but you really need to go with the body changes, you have extra all here…" Nikki emphasized her middle. "Spare tire and a muffin top so you have to hide that for Joey's wedding day. It's fine with all of us…"

The entire room fell into a hushed silence at Nikki's statement turning to Eddie who quietly bowed her head.

"Nikki that isn't nice to say about your aunt at all!" Linda snapped quickly. "No one is willing to say it but I will; you have gotten away with your mouth for a long time but it ends here. If you were my daughter this would not have lasted long. "

"It's all right, Linda," Eddie replied. "Nikki is just saying what everyone thinks, we all know that's true and we all know it would be better if I felt sick on Joey and Jack's wedding day and didn't even go. Nikki, I do try to lose weight but your Uncle Jamie insists I take all those medication that do things like keep me alive. As a matter of fact, I'm due for my fat pill right now, excuse me."

Eddie couldn't get out of the room fast enough. Nikki lifted her head to see Lila's steel cold eyes on her, "If you think I won't tell my father about his, you are mistaken. Aunt Linda, would you mind helping clean up…"

Linda put her hand on Lila's hand, "Let her be, let's give her a nice clean kitchen. Nikki, you're forty-five I'm not going to make you apologize but I do hope I don't hear this again."

Nikki kept helping with the clean up. Much later that night Jamie heard Eddie in the bathroom, "You all right sweetie?"

"Yeah, something didn't sit right is all," Eddie replied sliding into bed. "Did your Dad manage to eat?"

"He choked on the chicken and potatoes so I made oatmeal with peanut butter and he ate it. He's seeing Dr. Burg on Wednesday the soonest appointment."

Eddie nodded, "Good, Jamie…in spite of how I've acted, I do love you so much. Don't forget that okay?"

Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head, "Never, not ever."

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone who wished me well for my surgery. I am resting relatively comfortably in the hospital with my dear cousin with me for every minute. I hope you all are still enjoying the story. As you can tell Nikki is my least favorite character, I'm sure I'll get flamed for that a little bit. Please read and review**

 **Next Update – August 26** **th** **– Frank, Eddie, and the twins visit the doctors and it's not good news for everyone…**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

"Frank?" Dr. Burg's nurse called. Jamie took the oxygen tank and tubing while Eddie held Frank's arm. They had a week chock full of doctor's appointments, including Eddie accompanying Lila to the twins first vaccination appointment.

"Come on Dad," Jamie encouraged. "Dr. Burg will know what to do to make this better, stop being so stubborn."

Jamie and Eddie got Frank into the exam room and up on the table. Jamie sent a message to his new assistant, Brenda Sue…Eddie hated that name, not to disturb him for any reason.

"I don't need you two in here fussing at me like I'm getting my first vaccination. It's the damn weather, now stop it!"

Jamie sighed and sat down on the stool to wait while Eddie tried to soothe him. Dr. Burg came in very quickly, "Well, Frank…what seems to be the trouble."

"They are, they think I'm a big baby…" Frank broke into a deep rasping cough, a dry but long hack that Jamie and Eddie had been hearing day in and day out for nearly a week.

"That's why he's here, this cough is getting ridiculous. We can't sleep, he can't sleep and when he's not coughing he's exhausted and irritable."

Dr. Burg began to listen to Frank's lungs and chest as Eddie stepped in placing a hand on Frank's arm comfortingly adding a gentle touch to calm him down. When he got agitated his breathing worsened.

"C'mon dad, take in several breaths," Eddie spoke softly the way a mother does to a scared child. She rubbed his back in small circles until the coughing subsided. "That technique is very good," the doctor praised. "There's considerable tightening and deep base line wheezing. Frank, take your shoes off for me. I would like to check your feet."

"What the Heck do my feet have to do with my lungs? I can walk, I can't breathe!"

Dr. Burg laughed, "I know, but believe it or not they have plenty to do with each other."

Frank took off his socks while Eddie stayed close, every spell Frank had was a blow to Jamie. Every time she had a mood swing or an episode of edema it was a blow to Jamie too. She couldn't wait for Jamie's appointment to hear he was fine and she could stop worrying.

"Frank, you have some swelling in your ankles which tells me you are retaining fluid. That is probably what is causing the excessive coughing and the ralls. Frank, I'm going to add a some Lasix to your meds and give you a prescription for a respiratory therapist. I believe that will help you be able to adjust to the diminished lung capacity. Also, Jamie and Eddie, let's try doing the bi pap for about two hours in the afternoon then also when sleeping and napping."

Jamie nodded, "Okay, thanks doc. I'm just concerned about his sleeping, he's not able to sleep very well and…"

"I believe this therapy will help a lot in getting you all having an easier time, tell Nora you'd like to come back in two weeks."

Eddie helped Frank off the table while Jamie took care of his equipment. They made the appointment, picked up the new medications, then headed to lunch at the Seaport, one of Frank's favorite places.

"Nothing fried and no drawn butter," Eddie told Frank. "What about orange roughy and some grilled shrimp?"

Frank nodded, "I'm loving that idea. This is very nice going to lunch after the doctor."

"I'm taking Eddie to Chez Marie for quiche and onion soup after her doctor's appointment tomorrow and I think the twins are getting new ankle rattles after they get their shots."

Frank laughed, "You were so good getting your shots. You just laid their and kicked back and forth. Was it Joey that had the bad reaction and massive diarrhea?"

Eddie nodded, "That was awful and his teething too. I hope if Lila gets that it's just one of them."

Jamie was nervous about the twins shots, vaccines made babies cranky and Lila was still not an expert at soothing her twins. She had Eddie over four times a week to help her with something. Jamie was fine with that, he wanted a hands on relationship with the babies as much as Eddie, but he was also concerned Lila was not ready to be an effective Mom.

"Where are you Jamie?" Eddie asked as Jamie played with his shrimp and grits.

"Just thinking, baby," Jamie replied. "It's all right."

Frank frowned, "If you aren't going to eat that…"

Jamie laughed and dug in to finish his plate.

Jamie made an appointment with the therapist Dr. Burg recommended, wanting to get Frank feeling better and the rest of them resting better at night. Frank seemed excited about the idea of working with the therapist. He wanted to have as much time with his family as possible.

The next day was Eddie's turn at the doctors. She first saw the Dr. McLean who was very happy with her CEA and other tests with one exception. "That creatin level is higher, Eddie. You're working with Dr. Gupta?"

"I'm seeing him in two hours," Eddie replied. "I've been having some very rough mood swings and this weight gain is havoc on my back, knees, feet…"

"I tell her over and over, Doc that it's not a thing for me," Jamie replied. "Lately I've noticed she's vomiting at night."

Dr. McLean made some notes. "All of that can be explained by the kidney levels and…Eddie, I'd like for you to make an appointment with your gynecologist. Some of your hormone levels are low, I think we're adding menopause to the high creatin which is a receipe for mood swings, upset stomach, and many of the symptoms you described."

Eddie took a deep breath, "I haven't had a regular period in three years, I thought I was done with the menopause…"

"It's a ten year cycle and the chemotherapy can alter that a bit," Dr. McLean explained. "We'll see you in six months, Eddie. Jamie, take good care of her."

Jamie shook Dr. McLean's hand and held Eddie's as they stepped out of his office. "You see, I told you baby, there's a reason for all of it, aside from that fact I was kind of a jackass."

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest, "My kidneys, Jamie…if they are really going…"

"Then we get you some new ones," Jamie said firmly. "Either of our kids would give you one, anyone would if they matched, no one would hesitate."

Eddie smiled, "I know but…it's frightening Jamie."

Jamie kissed her hair, "I know. Let's see the expert before we panic okay? And you get quiche and onion soup gratin for lunch.

Eddie sighed, at this point, she wasn't even hungry.

The entire time they were in Dr. Gupta's office, Eddie held onto Jamie's arms. Jamie stroked her arm and waited letting her hold onto him. "Eddie," the nurse called ten minutes later.

Jamie held Eddie's hand while she was taken back and weighed, "179…you've gained another four pounds."

Eddie wanted to break down and cry but Jamie kissed her head, "When you did tamoxifen you were almost 190…you're doing great!"

Eddie sat on the exam table, Dr. Gupta was quick to come in. "Eddie…how are you doing?"

"You tell me," Eddie replied. "Gained weight, high blood levels…"

"Yes, that's true but I think there are a few things we can do…how's the pain and the fatigue?"

Dr. Gupta spend almost a half hour working with Eddie then, "Okay…I'd like to try electronic stimulations for your kidneys. You do this at home…it attaches to your lower back and delivers electronic impulses to help stimulate the blood flow. I think that and changing your kidney medications will help you out."

"What about the weight gain? I'm getting so big and it's hard on my back, legs…"

Dr. Gupta nodded, "When the kidneys function you can drop off some weight. Let's get your body working properly, then we'll fix the rest, please just stick with this. We got you…"

"You see," Jamie said gently over their French lunch. "It's going to be okay, honey. There's so many thing that the doctors can do now. I'll ask Joey to pick up that machine and we'll start it tonight. In the meantime, I'd like to make a toast."

Eddie blushed, "Jamie, don't be all fussy and stuff now…"

"Eddie, please…" Jamie raised a glass of sparkling cider. "To my wife, who I love now more than ever. Any of the problems we've had, they are in the past. We are going to do this together."

Jamie touched his glass to Eddie's and she smiled, "I hope so. I do need you Jamie as much as you need me, maybe more."

"Once things settle down I break in some new staff…I am getting tired Eddie, but I have to walk away feeling like it's finished."

Eddie nodded and picked up her fork to begin to eat her lunch.

Jamie had to work the next two days to make up for the time he took away from his office. Both of the cases that had his focus were going nowhere but there were other administrative items he had to handle. That Wednesday, Eddie took Lila and the twins to get their first set of shots and of course new rattles when it was all over.

Eddie held onto Lila as the doctor pierced first Reagan then Finn's delicate skin with the sharp instrument. Reagan let out a holler so loud both woman shuttered. Lila began to cry wanting to snatch her baby up into her arms and protect her. "It's all right," Eddie cooed to her daughter. "Stay calm, when you take her you have to be calm, remember?"

Lila nodded and picked her little girl up, she tucked her tiny body close and rocked, "Mommy's here, little one. Mommy's here…You're okay, it's okay." Eddie watched Lila cradle her baby girl to her chest. She stepped over to comfort Finn as he got his needle. He was much calmer and quieter just whimpering for latching onto his grandma when she picked him up. When they left the doctor's office, Reagan was still crying. "She's definitely got your Reagan temper," Eddie laughed. "Now, they'll be tired and fussy tonight so if Steven doesn't get home and you need help you call me okay?"

Lila nodded, "Mom, I haven't said thank you for…"

"You don't have to," Eddie replied as she dropped Lila off. "Seeing you learning to become a mother yourself is enough thanks for me. I'll check on you later." Eddie kissed both babies, who now slept contentedly and hugged Lila. "You'll always be my baby, remember that."

Lila flashed Eddie a smile, "I do."

Eddie got home and relaxed a bit reading a book she'd been meaning to finish while Jamie worked on dinner. Across from her Frank sat in his favorite chair doing a crossword while using his machine.

Around five Jamie called them to the table cooking pork chops, spinach, and rice with a salad. "Looks good babe," Eddie greeted helping Frank in.

"How do you feel, Dad?" Jamie asked, pulling the chair out so his father could sit.

"I'm fine Jamie stop fussing over me. Eddie would you say grace?" Frank's wheezing still audible.

Bowing their heads Eddie said the prayer passing a bowl to fill Frank's plate first. 

"How did it go today?" Jamie asked. "Did they cry a lot?"

"Reagan did," Eddie replied. "The poor little thing, but Lila did a great job. She cried herself of course but she stayed calm, she held her baby close and soon she had her settled. She's doing very well now."

Jamie smiled proudly, "That's my girl, she's getting herself all settled."

"I told her if she needed though to call us, they might be doubly cranky and without Steven at home…" Jamie nodded as he worked on his meat.

Eddie started to clear the table, but it was obvious to Jamie the busy week had made her feel tired. Jamie caught Eddie's arm on her way by pulling her close to whisper, "Sit on the couch with your legs up. I can clean up."

For once Eddie listened going to the couch putting her feet up and closed her eyes slowly allowing Jamie to clean up.

She took deep breaths trying to relax exhausted. Just as Eddie felt her body slowly destress her cell phone rang. Groaning she checked the caller ID, picking up seeing it was Lila.

"Hey Lila everything okay?"

"Mom, there's something wrong with Reagan!" Lila was almost hysterical. "She's burning hot and she's got a huge lump…"

"We're on our way…" This was a job for both grandparents.

 **A/N: Very early update for you today, I'll be occupied all day with procedures here. I am feeling a lot better but there is still a long road ahead. Thanks for all the well wishes.**

 **Next Update – August 29** **th** **– Eddie turns on the "tough love" with skittish Mom Lila and it's cousin Sean to the rescue.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Jamie and Eddie could head Reagan's cries as soon as they reached the house. Jamie let themselves in with their key, "Lila, we're here," Jamie called following the cries of his irate little granddaughter.

Lila had the baby girl in her arms rocking her back and forth. Finn sat in his baby chair entertaining himself with his new ankle rattle. Eddie silently told Jamie to tend to the baby boy while she took a look at Reagan. Eddie reached out and touched Reagan's baby hair, she was burning up. "Lila, let's get this blanket off of her and Jamie, can you soak a couple towels in cool water for me?"

Jamie did as Eddie asked and watched as she took Reagan from Lila and laid her down. Lila watched as Eddie stripped the baby to her diaper which was full of diarrhea. "Lila, get another diaper and her baby tub. Jamie, I think you should go on home, this is going to be an all-night thing."

Eddie cleaned the baby and found the injection site. It was warm and the leg swelled. "She's have a bad reaction to this shot. Jamie, can you get us an escort to Lutheran…"

"What if I have Sean come by first?" Jamie asked. "It might be good for him and Reagan, that way she's not subjected to so many germs and if he thinks…"

Eddie nodded keeping her voice even and quiet so she didn't let on how nervous and excited she was. Lila returned with the diaper materials, "Mom, I'm scared."

Eddie nodded, "I know you're scared, but so it your baby so you have to focus on her and be calm right now. Dad is calling Sean because I think that she's having a reaction to the shot. It might be able to be managed here, she might need to go to the hospital but since she's so little I don't want to rush her there unless it's necessary."

Jamie saw Lila start to shake. He set Finn down, who was still occupied with his feet and watching the things going on and went to comfort her. "Jamie, there's time for that later, Lila needs to focus on Reagan right now. This is not panic time now."

Jamie smiled, Eddie had her tough love voice on. Eddie let Jamie mind the screaming baby for a few seconds and took her own daughter firmly by the hand and led her to her baby. "Clean your baby up, put her diaper on and wrap her in the towel. Then sit with her and wait for Sean to come. Do not let yourself get upset now, right now your baby needs her Mommy. One day I'm not going to be here and neither is Dad, you can do this."

With that Eddie stepped back and stood by Jamie merely supervising Lila. She had to learn to be a mother in good times and in bad, she had done so well earlier.

Lila watched her father make the phone call worry twinkling in her deep blue eyes after hearing her mom's stern tone. She froze in place unsure if she should move or say something. Eddie sighed, "Lila, put a new diaper on that little girl, come on now, enough is enough."

"Sean will be here in twenty minutes," Jamie announced proud that his nephew was agreeing to step outside the apartment. He had not done that since the attack. Lila was still frozen and Jamie could see that Eddie was at her wits end. "How did I fail so badly as a mother?" she asked then moved to the table, pushed Lila to the side and began to tend to Reagan herself.

When Sean arrived he found Jamie holding Lila who was crying her eyes out and Eddie with Reagan, still screaming, naked in the kitchen sink. "Oh boy," he sighed and moved to the sink. "Temp?"

"102.9," Eddie replied. "She's got explosive diarrhea that I can't contain in the diaper and her thigh is red and horribly inflamed…"

Sean nodded, "I'll take this, sit down, Aunt Eddie. Get off your legs for a bit."

"I'm fine, Sean," Eddie replied looking down at her legs finding them looking normal.

"I know you are now, so let's stay fine, and have a seat…"

Eddie obeyed Sean and sat down on the sofa. She took Finn and hugged him. He was fussing softly and kicking his feet. "You hungry little man?"

"He's ready to nurse," Lila sniffled. "Give him to me, I'll nurse him." It was clear Lila was upset at her mother for how she related to her during this crisis. Lila had wanted her mother's support and felt she got the back of her hand.

Eddie handed Finn to Lila and sat down with Jamie. He could read his wife like a book and slid his arm around her, "She's just young, baby. She's young and she is scared. You had to take her in hand and when this passes you can talk it out."

Eddie turned to Jamie, "You don't help either giving her hugs and kisses while I'm trying to get her to focus and take care of her sick child. She can't be the Mommy and the Kitten at the same time. When Reagan was being cared for then you can do that, you undermine me Jamie."

"I'm sorry," Jamie sighed. "You're right. I just saw her suffering and…"

"Yes, and so did I but Reagan is the one that is really suffering, Jamie. She needs her Mommy, as much as I love her, I am NOT her mother, I'm her grandma. It was my job to teach Lila to be a mother and clearly I failed at that."

Lila returned with Finn, "No, you didn't Mom. I just…Steven is not here and I'm alone a lot. I can't imagine what it's going to be like later. You had two of us but apart…but you were sick and…"

Eddie stood up and hugged Lila careful of little Finn, "You are doing great most of the time, honey but when things get tough, that's when you have to just put away the scared and the panic and do what you have to do because no one else knows what is right for your baby more than you do. Trust that, Lila. It's in every mother, sweetie."

"It's not in me," Lila sobbed leaning into her mother. "I don't know what they need half the time, I just guess. I suck at this…and I'm always alone. When Steven isn't working, he is sleeping or he's made because I'm busy with the twins. He thinks I should have this down already. He's sleeping at his folks place now more than here."

Jamie blood began to slowly boil.

"This is not an easy thing to do," Eddie sighed. "It's harder than it looks and I had a lot of support from your father and your aunts. One thing I didn't have though, was my mother to help me. You have to listen to me Lila, I am not trying to hurt you or to be mean. Reagan needed her Mommy and sometimes that means you have to put aside your feelings and focus on what your child needs. There is time later…I promise you there is time later."

Lila nodded, "I'm going to check on her now. He's needing a burp, can you?"

Eddie nodded and put Finn on her shoulder. She knew if the baby boy went to Jamie he would cry, Jamie was barely standing he was shaking so badly with anger.

"How is she, Sean?" Lila asked seeing her daughter wrapped in white towels now sporting a fresh needle mark in her tiny arm.

"She had a reaction to the DPT, it's stronger than is common but not entirely unusual. When it's time for her other shots let me know and I'll come with you and discuss her sensitive system. Now, I gave her a little shot to help drop her fever and slow the diarrhea. She's dehydrated so try to get her to nurse some and moisten her pacifier with a little sugar water. Keep the cool clothes until her temperature is closer to 99. She should be feeling herself in a day or two." Sean kissed the baby's soft hair. She was dozing off.

Lila took her daughter and cuddled her tight. "How are you doing Sean?"

He sighed, "I'm good. I'm slowly getting used to it, you know? I'm going to go back to work next week, start moving on and if Joe is able to find her…Jack will hate me, he wants the family out of any kind of scandal if he's taking over as commissioner…"

"Dad's not retiring yet," Lila quickly. "He said that he wasn't until the thing with Aunt Erin was resolved."

Sean rolled his eyes, "That's a damn mess and let me give you this piece of advice, keep your eyes on your mother's eating habits. I'm concerned Nikki's comments…"

"Mom is fine, she's been doing really well. She saw the doctors the other day and they gave her a machine for her kidneys to help stimulate them."

Sean nodded, "That's a good machine, I'm sure it will help. Let's take this little one and get her nursing. I'll examine Finn just incase he is working on the same thing."

"Sean, I don't want to pry but you and Joey are usually really close. I'm concerned that he went too far and…"

Sean held up his hand, "Joey already talked to me and we're good."

Sean smiled remembering the day his cousin came to see him.

 **Joey waited at the door of Sean's apartment ill at ease until Sean finally opened the door. "Hey Sean can we uh talk?"**

 **Sean stepped back, recognizing the nervousness on his cousin's face nodding. The two men walked into the apartment and both sat down across from each other.**

 **Neither spoke at first Sean waiting until Joe was ready. Joey was seventeen years younger than he was, he was used to being patient with him. Taking a deep breath Joe began, "I wanted to apologize for pushing you so hard. I have nearly a year in SVU but I have no reference for what you went through. I should have respected it when you said no, I was just so angry that anyone would hurt you like that."**

 **Sean nodded, "If it's any consolation, physically it didn't hurt. Emotionally, I'm working through it and if you do find her, I'm going to play ball, identify her, samples, the whole bit…"**

" **I know that won't be easy but you doing this makes you a hero in my book."**

 **Sean smiled weakly grateful for his cousin. "Thanks Joe, that really means a lot to me."**

"You have a hell of a brother," Sean replied. "He promised he won't sleep until he gets her, and I know he'll get her."

Lila had no doubt Sean was right.

"Jamie, you must calm down…" Eddie soothed as she held Finn out to him now that he was seated.

"I am calm Eddie can I hold my grandson," Jamie asked waiting with his arms out. Right now he needed to cuddle something.

Eddie raised an eyebrow at him gauging Jamie's demeanor to see if he was really okay. "Talk to me first Jamie."

"That immature little jerk is leaving her to fend for herself. Everything in me wants to pack the three of them up and take them home…" Eddie sighed and handed the baby over to Jamie.

Jamie pulled the baby close to him and held him tight to his chest. Eddie saw the emotions playing on his face and reached out to hold his hands. Lila and Sean came into the living room with a fussy Reagan.

"How is she?" Jamie asked, his eyes not really focusing on Lila or the baby in her arms.

"She's going to be fine," Sean replied. "I just was going to check this little guy but he seems pretty content. I'm going to head out, Aunt Eddie if you want me to check your back on Sunday I will. I will see you guys at dinner."

Eddie stood up and hugged Sean very tight. "I am so proud of you, Sean. You are going along great and I'm just…" Eddie choked up. She was the only member of the family that had any clue about how Sean felt.

Sean wrapped his arms around Eddie, "Thanks. Call me and let me know if you need me."

Eddie nodded and turned to see Lila packing up the kid's diaper bags. "What's up?"

"Dad is worrying about grandpa and we thought I would stay over with the kids incase…but…"

Eddie smile, "No, it's fine. You can take Joe's old room. We turned your room into the nursey…Let's head out. Let Dad push the carriage, he's a little shaky."

Lila nodded and they headed out. Frank was in the recliner watching the TV when they came in. "Where is my girl, is she okay?"

Lila set Reagan in Franks' arms, "Tell Poppa I had a bad needle today…"

Frank stroked the hair, "She's got a little temp."

Lila nodded, "Yeah but Sean saw her and he says she'll be fine. You ready to head to bed, Grandpa?"

Frank nodded, "Is it all right if I hold them a few minutes first?"

Jamie helped get the babies things up to the nursey then returned to make tea. Lila had a special touch when it came to tending to Frank, so neither Jamie or Eddie objected when she began to help him to bed. When Frank was secure in bed, Lila headed up to make the beds for he babies, letting her parents give them grandparent cuddles.

Jamie sat in his favorite chair rocking Finn smiling at the little boy. "That's my boy, I'm glad Mommy agreed to let you sleep over."

"He isn't the only one staying over Jamie," Eddie laughed coming in with Reagan asleep in her arms.

"I know that babe, let's put these two munchkins down and say night to Lila." Jamie led Eddie upstairs walking slower than usual.

Walking behind him Eddie turned to check on him frowning. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Jamie finally made it up quickening his pace feeling his leg giving out.

In the nursey, Jamie laid Finn down in his crib then sat on the cot they set up in that room in case anyone needed to sleep in the room with the baby needing to rest. "You okay Daddy?" Lila looked between her dad and mom as Eddie laid Reagan in her crib.

"Fine I love you," Jamie kissed Lila's cheek going to change. Eddie shook her head worried saying night before following Jamie to their room.

"Jamie you sure you're okay?" Eddie asked climbing in beside him.

Jamie yawned, feeling his eyes get heavy. He cradled Eddie in his arms kissing her cheek gently falling asleep slowly. Beside Jamie, Eddie smiled as she fell asleep feeling comforted and safe beside her husband. The smile slowly changed into a frown as Eddie slept.

 **A/N: I am absolutely shocked and humbled about the response to this story. I do have a reviewer that was asking for some resolution to Sean and Joey, so I credit you with this flashback idea that I included after your request. Also credit to Lawslave and Yanks302021 for their assistance with the entire story. I hope everyone that's reading continues to enjoy it.**

 **Next Update – September 1** **st** **– Frank comforts Eddie, Steven and Lila discuss parenthood.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

A little after three that morning Eddie threw the covers off and grabbed her pillow, planning to head downstairs. Jamie's bad leg was flopping all around the bed, repeatedly making contact with her own legs.

Before going down, Eddie peaked in all her babies. Lila was awake placing Reagan back in her crib. "Is she okay?" Eddie whispered.

"Her fever is down to just over 99 and she just had a dirty but it was normal, not like before," Lila replied. "Finn fed and he's back asleep now. Are you okay?"

"Dad's restless so I'm going to sleep downstairs," Eddie replied. "Try to get some rest too."

Lila nodded and smiled as Eddie headed to get more rest on the sofa.

It only took a few seconds for Eddie to fall asleep once she curled up on the comfy old sofa. She was dead tired.

" _ **How's my big boy this morning?" Eddie asked lifting Finn out of his crib. Both of the twins had gotten so big in the ten months since they were born. Finn reached for a lock of Eddie's hair and cooed to her as she placed him in his high chair. She went back for Reagan who clapped chubby hands when she saw Eddie's face. "You're such a happy girl. Did Mommy give you juice before she left for work?"**_

 _ **Lila had just taken a part time job to help support her family after…Eddie tried not to think about it. "Let's go see Great-Grandpa…" Eddie placed Reagan in her high chair. Frank had just finished his morning tea and was working on a bowl full of mashed bananas. "Do you want to focus on the twins or…" Frank began.**_

" _ **I'll take care of the babies," Eddie replied. "I'll be back in a minute."**_

 _ **Eddie stepped into the living room where Jamie lay in a hospital issue bed. "Good morning, my love," she whispered in the same soft tone she used for her grandchildren.**_

 _ **Jamie didn't react, he never did. Carefully, Eddie worked him from the bed to a motorized wheelchair. "There…Joey is going to come later and give you a good shower. We have breakfast now…" Eddie used the handle to drive the wheelchair to the kitchen. Frank had put bibs on the babies and Eddie secured a much larger bib to Jamie. Just as they were to begin tackling the morning rituals, Frank began to gag.**_

" _ **Take it easy, Dad, I'll handle it."**_

 _ **For the rest of the day, Eddie took care of Jamie and the twins. She fed each baby a bite of bananas then Jamie until their bowls were empty. She changed each baby and then changed Jamie. She rocked and held the babies until they napped, then sat on Jamie's lap and held him. The second stroke had eradicated her husband's brain. He had no ability to care for himself, no ability to speak, perhaps not even comprehend. His eyes were empty…was his soul?**_

 _ **Frank tried his best but he was failing himself and couldn't keep up with the demand on them. Most of their savings went into remodeling the house and keeping Jamie at home. They could no longer help Lila, leading to Eddie caring for the twins and Jamie five days a week.**_

 _ **She was exhausted most of the time…As he sat on Jamie's lap, she looked at his face. She was so tired, and she longed for him to talk to her again…**_

 _ **"Hey lambchop I love you." No response sent tears down Eddie's face. She didn't expect him to respond but hoped.**_

 _ **Still sobbing Eddie rested her head on Jamie longing to have him at least hold her again. She missed the feel of his strong arms around her.**_

 _ **In an instant all that changed, her thoughts forced elsewhere as she felt Jamie stiffen. "Jamie," Eddie asked knowing she wouldn't receive an answer.**_

 _ **Jamie's head remained straight, his eyes closing as his entire body shook. "Jamie? Jamie?"**_

"Eddie, sweetheart, it's Frank," Frank shook Eddie until she opened her eyes. "Are you okay? I was going to the bathroom and heard you crying out."

"He has to retire, Dad," Eddie sobbed. "Make him, please make him."

Frank sighed and pulled Eddie to his chest stroking her hair, "Did you have a bad dream? About Jamie?"

Eddie sniffled, "It was so awful. He had another stroke and Lila had to get a job and we have the babies here and Jamie was just like them…you and I were…" Eddie hiccupped. "I can't breathe, I…"

Frank sighed, "Ssh, sweet girl. It was all a bad dream, Eddie. It was just a bad dream. Let me get you some tea…Take my wire and we'll go and get some tea you and I."

Eddie took the oxygen tube and they went to the kitchen. "I know I sound ridiculous" Eddie admitted when she caught her breath. "I know I do but Dad he is not as healthy as he wants us to think. You know that, you know some mornings I have to dress him, and tonight his legs are so restless…that's another sign of things not being right. He had to cancel his doctor this week…so now it's next week before we can see Dr. O'Shea…."

Frank took an old, large hand and placed it on Eddie's smaller one. "I'll talk to him, sweetheart but I can't force him. I have talked to him…"

Eddie nodded with eyes filled with tears, "I don't care if there's scandal because of Erin. The family is strong enough to take it, Jack is strong enough to take it."

Frank nodded, "I spoke to Erin earlier today. She's still in Boston with Nikki and isn't coming back right now. The evidence is…She didn't know she did it but she did do it, Eddie. Jamie is trying to make it so that it comes to light she had no knowledge."

Eddie sighed, "And he will keep trying even if it is the death of him…but Dad, I'd rather see him gone than see him like he was in that dream."

Frank nodded his head and kissed Eddie's cheek. "Do you want to try to sleep? You need it."

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, I'm going to go back. Thanks Dad, please…please…talk to him."

Frank agreed the followed Eddie back to the living room. "I'm going to sit with you in case you need me."

Eddie smiled, feeling very much loved by her father-in-law.

When Jamie woke up and headed downstairs the next morning Frank motioned for him to follow him into the kitchen. "Sleep well did you?"

"I did, but Eddie. Why was she on the couch?" Jamie asked.

"You were kicking her, she came down here and woke me with her screams…for you."

"I never heard her Dad," Jamie sighed. "I'm sorry…" Jamie began the coffee and tea for the morning. "I never even heard the twins."

"They were pretty quiet, I'm sure that will end. Have a seat son…"

Jamie sat down and waited for his father to speak. "How close are you to breaking this case with Erin?"

Jamie sighed, "Not close at all. It's more about proving that she didn't know, not that she didn't' do it. That could take months of work. And the woman that attacked Sean is still out there too."

"Your wife is still here, Jamie, and she needs you. Eddie's kidney disease it is making her…She needs you and you have served admirably for 35 years. I will not be disappointed if you…"

"Sixty five," Jamie sighed. "I'll retire then if things aren't peak before. Eddie's just…"

"Having nightmares about a second stroke for you…waking up crying…losing sleep she can't afford to lose. I was able to keep going because my health allowed and I didn't have a worried wife. I do think your dedication to your name and your city is admirable but your disregard for your wife's request is shameful. At the very least, stick to the deal you made her. Fifty hours…"

Jamie nodded, "I'll bring her a cup of tea. Thanks Dad."

Jamie carried a cup of tea to the living room and knelt beside Eddie, "Good morning, pretty girl…"

Eddie opened her eyes and saw Jamie. Tears filled the blue orbs as she sat up and threw her arms around him, "Hold me, Jamie. Don't let go, promise…Hold me."

Jamie set the tea aside sitting down and pulled Eddie on his lap rocking her gently. "Another bad dream babe? Tell me all about it," Jamie soothed softly.

He brushed a hand down her arm while she sobbed into him the latest dream had shaken her so badly she could barely breathe just thinking of reliving it. "Jamie, I can't lose you these nightmares…"

Sighing Jamie kissed the top of her head continuing to rock her. "I'm sorry babe, I hate seeing you so upset."

Eddie kept her face in Jamie's shirt, enjoying his soft voice and strong arms, things she'd lose if he suffered another stroke.

Lila found her father holding her Mom when she came down with both her babies in her arms. "Steven is coming over, he just got off work and he's wanting to see Reagan. He's worried about her."

Eddie pulled back, "I'll help you with her bath since her leg is still sensitive. I'll show you how to get her washed so you aren't bending it too much another time, but for now, why don't you grab a hot shower, you look like you can use one. Maybe Dad can give Finn his bottle?"

Lila nodded, "Yes, that would be good. I nursed her through the night and I pumped milk to give my breasts a break."

Eddie laughed, remembering feeling like a milk cow when she was nursing Joey. With the two women off in their own directions, Jamie rocked Finn in his arms. "You going to be a cop when you grow up? Or a smoke eater like your Dad?" Jamie offered the hungry baby boy a bottle, Finn began to suckle quickly.

Steven opened the door and saw Jamie tenderly holding Finn. Lila was taking a shower and Eddie had Reagan in the kitchen for a bath. "How is Reagan?"

Jamie narrowed his eyes thinking how lucky Steve was Finn was in his arms. "She's fine, they're all fine. Eddie and I handled it, Sean came over and helped. Where were you?"

"Working," Steven replied. "I work overnight…"

"And when you aren't working…" Jamie began. Sensing an explosion Eddie quickly moved into the living room with a clean baby. She stepped between the two men offering Reagan to her father. "Lila is taking a shower, she needed help last night with Reagan being so sick."

Even with her back to him Eddie could feel Jamie looking through her at Steve. "It's important for her to have some help with two babies."

"I know that Jamie," Steven replied. "But I need my sleep, I'm the one supporting the family and Lila is the one raising it…"

Jamie stood up quickly, "That is not how this is done. Those babies have two parents, you have to get in there too and change diapers, rock away the fussies, kiss away the tears…"

"I try, but I am working so much overtime, I can't sleep when they are crying…"

"Steven," Eddie said in her gentle but firm way. "There is no winning this conversation with him. The fact is Lila is still learning to be a mother to these babies and you are her partner and helpmate, not me and not Jamie. You and she need to figure this out, so for today only, Jamie and I are going to care for the twins and you and Lila are going to go home and figure out a care regiment that meets everyone's needs, specifically these babies."

Steven tried to argue but Eddie usually only spoke like this when she meant business. He chose a nod as a reply.

Lila came downstairs to Eddie making breakfast for the family. Steven stood up and hugged Lila, "I'm sorry I wasn't there last night."

"It's okay," Lila replied with a much more aloof tone than Steven liked. "My parents helped. If not for my mother and father…"

Steven nodded, "I know. I know I have to step up and I will. Your Mom volunteered to watch the twins so we can figure things out."

Lila smiled, "Thanks Mom. Did Finn eat? Where's Dad?" Eddie had both babies in their chairs, Frank was playing with them.

"He went to get their rattles he'll be right…"

Eddie stopped speaking as the entire family heard the unmistakeable sound of a man's sized body hitting the floor above with a sickening thud.

 **A/N: Eddie is really obsessing over Jamie's retirement, maybe with good reason. Special thanks to all of my readers and to Lawslave and Yanks302021 for their assistance in making this all come to light.**

 **Next Update – September 4** **th** **– We find out about that thud!**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Steven was the first one to reach the upstairs nursery and found Jamie lying on the floor a somewhat confused look on his face. "Jamie...are you all right?"

Before Jamie could reply, Eddie and Lila dashed into the room. Eddie dropped to her knees beside her husband, "Jamie, are you okay? What happened?"

Jamie looked at Eddie and for a moment it was as if he was looking through her. "Steven, call a bus!" Eddie ordered but Jamie's arms came up and settled around her. "I...My legs just gave out. I'm okay, don't be upset."

Eddie's breathing was coming in quick, short gasps. She was horribly upset reliving the nightmares of the previous night.

"I'm going to tell Grandpa he's okay," Lila said gently. "Steven, let's take the twins home, I think Mom and Dad need to talk more than we do." Lila patted Eddie's shoulder, "We'll let ourselves out. I love you."

Eddie nodded, "Please wait downstairs, I need to be sure he's okay. Don't go yet."

Lila nodded again and pushed Steven out the door.

"Jamie..."

"I'm okay...My bad leg just went and I couldn't catch myself. I was...Lila doesn't know that things that Joey does. I was embarrassed. I'm sorry I scared you." Jamie leaned over and gave Eddie a kiss.

She felt his entire mouth engage and his speech was clear as a bell. Perhaps this was just a fall. "Well, are you able to get up? Does anything hurt?"

Jamie worked his legs under him and pulled himself up to a standing position with a smile on his face. He bent down and retrieved the prized rattles he'd gone up to get in the first place. "Only my pride, and my heart at the look on your face," Jamie sighed. "Listen, Eddie, maybe you need to talk about these dreams with someone besides me and Dad. Maybe a social workers or therapist..."

Jamie started kicking himself before the words were all the way out of his mouth. "So because I love you and am worried about you I'm crazy! Thank you very much Jamie!"

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it," Jamie replied quickly. "I just mean if you are having fears that are causing you so much strife maybe you need something else."

"All I need is you to keep your word, to go to the doctor, to only work the number of hours you promised you would work..."

Jamie nodded, "I'll go back to a religious fifty hours, in fact, I'll make it forty-five. You can come to the city a few times a week at lunch and check on me, I'll have the detail bring you out."

Eddie slowly started to nod, "The doctor?"

"Dad's follow up and Dr. O'Shea are the same day but I'll keep the appointment and go with Joe."

"Oh no you won't," Eddie said firmly. "You will get Danny and Linda to go with your father and I will go with you, I want to hear from Dr. O'Shea himself you are all right. Joe will cover for you."

Jamie sighed, the gig was about to be up.

"Hey Reagan," Anse called out to Joey as he looked up police reports from surrounding cities. "We have a repeat female offender in Philadelphia, Baltimore, Newark, Delaware and Binghampton."

"It's New-ARK, not Newark, and..." Joey was frustrated they hadn't' broken this case wide open by now. "And what does that have to do with finding this psycho!"

"Hey, chill, I'm trying to tell you..." Anse replied. "They have DNA on her and it's a match to the DNA that we took from Sean and the bed sheets at the scene. They also had a name but she fled the jurisdiction before the DNA profile came back. Dana Rosen. They are 119 Dana Rosen's in the Manhattan area. What do you say we knock on some doors and request samples? If they have nothing to hide, they'll comply. If they don't we can apply for warrants and sit on the house until she makes a move. Nothing else is working."

"That could be a lot of man hours, I'm not sure Benson will sign off and the Chief is a little put out with me now too."

"What about the Commissioner?" Anse asked. "I know he never played his card but this is family.

"I'll talk to the Chief cook and bottle washer...that's my Mom..."

Anse laughed, "Well, I'm going to get started on it."

Joey laughed, "We'll go through channels first. I don't like to play the big guns unless it's necessary."

Anse nodded and got to work on their new lead.

Eddie had managed to keep Jamie home all morning. She kept a stern eye on how he dressed, ate, and managed himself. Satisfied that his weaker leg really did just "give out" she finally relented her Momma bear stance and let him leave around 11:30am. Eddie also made good on her promise to mind the twins so Steven and Lila could talk. She knew if Lila didn't tell Jamie of a good solid care plan before he saw Steven again, nothing she could do would settle that down.

"I'm not saying that you aren't doing your share," Lila defended. "All I'm saying is these babies have two parents and you do not help when you are here. I feel like I am alone in this, Steven. You promised me when we found out I was pregnant that I'd never feel like that. Mom is not going to raise these babies for us. She put her foot down and with grandpa getting worse and her own health I can't blame her."

Steven sighed and sat down, "They aren't…"

Lila felt her mother's senses tingle. "What? They aren't what?"

"It's just not what I thought it would be like," Steven confessed. "Your father, my father, they make it look so easy. When your mother has the twins they are so happy and quiet. When we have them it's like they are possesses or something."

Lila took a deep breath, "You know when your parents were going on and on about us not being old enough to have children, they shouldn't have included me in that, they should have included you. You are the one that isn't ready. I am doing the best I can as a new Mom. I need you to help me, what happened to us?"

"We don't have time for each other," Steven replied. "For Mommy and Daddy?"

"When those twins came, they became the priority, and you don't want to deal with that!"

"They don't like me, they cry when I hold them, I can't…"

"Stop blaming them, they are two months old this is you!" Lila hissed. "They don't like you, you don't like them and they know it. You were so excited to become a father, you couldn't wait! Now you treat them and me like we have some kind of disease!"

Steven sighed, "I'm sorry. I know I'm hurting you and that is the last thing I want. I love you, Lil."

"Do you love them?" Lila asked seriously doubting that Steven loved their children.

"Of course I do, I was sick to death when you called and told me how sick Reagan was!"

"But you didn't try to come home and check her, did you?" Lila asked. "My father always worked his way home to visually confirm we were okay, to give us and sometimes Mom an extra hug or kiss. You were only a few blocks away, you could do that!"

Steven sighed, "I could do that. You're right, I have to do better, but do not ever think I don't love my kids. I do…Is it safe for us to go to the park with the kids?"

Lila thought, "Reagan should be okay for that yeah, let's talk to my Mom, make sure then go down. Tonight we can share in taking care of them."

Steven nodded and gave Lila a kiss, "Let's go get our kids. Your Mom can certainly use the rest."

Steven put his arm around Lila as the pair headed to the Reagan family home hand in hand.

"Are you okay with this Dad?" Eddie asked. "With Danny and Linda taking you to Dr. Burg so I can go to the neurologist with Jamie?"

"I'm fine with whoever goes, sweetheart," Frank replied. "This new Lasix is helping a lot but it's making me pee like a race horse."

"Are you having a hard time…" Eddie began. "I am having a hard time getting up fast enough with my Lasix…"

"No, I am not peeing in my bed," Frank replied. "Jamie needs the neurologist and you need the peace of mind of hearing that he's okay. I am find going with Danny and Linda honey, but I'd appreciate the truth when you two get home if Jamie is having trouble."

Frank was concerned about Jamie. When Eddie was in the hospital he saw firsthand how his son struggled. "I promise," Eddie replied smiling

Eddie walked over to Frank and put her arms around his middle. "I just want us all to be healthy and happy and enjoy the babies..."

Frank patted Eddie's back, "I know you do sweetie. We will, Jamie is going to do just fine and don't count this Old Irish mutt out yet…I huff and I puff but occasionally I can still blow a house down."

One of the twins began to cry at that moment, "And I still change a mean diaper…I got his one."

Lila found Frank diapering Reagan when she and Steven arrived at the house. "There you are little miss," Frank cooed. "All dry and that nasty old pokey is better too. Yes it is…" He lifted the small girl and patted her back.

"Hey, you still have the touch," Lila smiled. "Did they have two o'clock bottle?"

"Finn is having it now and this little girl is ready," Frank replied having the sense to hand the baby to Steven who gladly accepted his little daughter. "Come on with Daddy, sweetie pie. We'll fill your tummy."

Steven carried Reagan into the kitchen and held her tight as he began to prepare her bottle. "Is he eating okay for you, Mom?"

"He's being an angel," Eddie replied. "You've got good form there, you don't have to be nervous or frightened about loving your children. They will love you because you are you. Trust yourself."

Steven tipped the bottle and Reagan began to feed. Steven looked at his little daughter and felt an overwhelming sense of love rush through him. This little bit of humanity needed him, she needed him for food, for diapers, for love, and for safety, so did his little son that was lying in Eddie's arms. That was a big responsibility and it scared him that was why he was staying away. He was failing his family by doing so…and now he knew it. It would end today.

 **A/N: Lots happened in this chapter and lots more to come. Hope everyone is having a happy and safe Labor Day!**

 **Next Update – September 7** **th** **– Eddie learns what Jamie's been hiding.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

"Commissioner, come on back, the doctor is ready for you," Lauren, Dr. O'Shea's nurse told Jamie and Eddie as they waited for it to be Jamie's turn with the neurologist. Jamie took Eddie's hand and walked leaning on her and his cane. Since his stumble a few days ago, he'd felt weakness in his arm and leg on the affected side, he did not mention this to Eddie. If there was anything to it, it would show up in the brain scan.

"Are you scared?" Eddie asked Jamie seeing how tight he was holding his cane.

"I'm concerned if this appointment doesn't go 100% perfect that you will make yourself upset again,' Jamie offered in way of explanation.

"Jamie, we talked that out," Eddie replied gently. "We did and I promise you, I will try to keep control and not fall apart on you when you need me."

" **Eddie," Jamie whispered as she lay snuggled to his side. They had talked through the latest rough patch in their marriage after Eddie had gone to the doctor. Jamie softly rubbed her arm up and down. "I don't want you to get angry at me, but I have to say this." Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head.**

 **Eddie rubbed Jamie's chest, "I'm sorry I have been so hard…"**

" **Stop apologizing," Jamie said firmly. "Let's just be gentle and talk a minute. I know I have hurt you by keeping things from you, I know that I have scared you by doing that. I know that in trying to make things better I probably made it a lot worse."**

" **It's okay, Jamie," Eddie soothed. "We're through the rough parts now. I love you so much…"**

" **Ssh, just listen," Jamie soothed. "Part of why I did that is that you just…You work yourself up into a frenzy, you get so upset. That was usually not how you handled hard things but since this kidney thing you have and I just do not want to cause you any pain. I know now that I have by not trusting that you can temper your reactions."**

 **Eddie sighed, "I do understand why you have been doing this. You were trying to protect me, but I don't need protection. We can be a team and be partners, I just need to hear…I need to hear that you are okay. I think my own health roller coaster…I need you Jamie. I need you because I know one day my kidneys are going to be shot or my weight will effect my heart and lungs or something else and I need you to make that feel less frightening. Thinking of having to navigate that without you…"**

 **Jamie nodded, "I had to go through one of my rough patches without you and I never want to do that again. One of the nights you were in the hospital, I could barely walk, my arm failed, if not for Joey…I'd never have made it to the hospital that day at all. I was so scared, Eddie, that you weren't coming home to me. I need you and I love you..."**

" **I need you too. I'm going to diet and work hard to get healthier. I promise you, I will try to temper my panic and be a team with you again."**

Jamie kissed Eddie's hand, "We're a team, but this is going to be fine."

When Dr. O'Shea entered the room, he was wearing a frown, not his usual bright smile. "Commissioner…Eddie, how are you?"

"I'm good," Eddie replied. "We're grandparents now."

"I heard that but I haven't seen pictures, your daughter was in her eighth month when the Commissioner was last here."

Eddie looked up at Jamie, "I thought you came every three months."

"I did miss one appointment, I forgot…" Jamie replied softly and Eddie only nodded.

Eddie opened her phone and showed off pictures of Reagan and Finn. "She has the temper, she takes after Jamie, but Finn he's a little more laid back."

"They are beautiful children," Dr. O'Shea smiled. "And your daughter is just lovely. You must be so proud."

Jamie nodded, "We are…Now, my wife has been worried so I'm hoping you can calm her fears and I can take her out to a nice dinner."

Dr. O'Shea sighed, "I wish I could do that for you Jamie. Do you see these white spots here, all along the right motor cortex and a little bit in the cerebrum? Those are strokes that you have had…since this MRI here…where you only have the shadows from the original stroke. All of those white spots are damaged brain tissue."

"Wait a minute," Eddie said trying to stay calm and focused. "He's having more strokes. He's been fine, he hasn't lost consciousness or…"

"He's having mini-strokes, very small concentrated events," Dr. O'Shea explained. "These might results in the fine motor that you did regain after the stroke being suddenly gone, then after a period of a day or two day they are back. It can result in sudden falls…"

"So that fall you had the other day…" Eddie looked at Jamie, tears swimming in her eyes. "Jamie fell the other day, he said his legs gave out, was that one?"

"It could have been one yeah," Dr. O'Shea replied. "These come from stress, they come from fatigue and they come from spikes in your blood pressure. What I'd like to do is change your blood pressure medication and add some other types of calming activities. I understand you have a demanding job, sometimes Eddie's health isn't terrific, your father is older and ill…It can be a lot. Perhaps you can add some therapeutic massage to your weekly routine and limit your work hours…"

"I've just gone back to a limited work week and I have promised my wife I would be retiring if you said that was necessary…"

"Right now, I think the new medication and a limited work week is the ticket, my concern for you, Jamie is that if you leave too soon or too abruptly it might be overly stressful, having those loose ends."

Eddie nodded and started to rub Jamie's arm, tears in her eyes and her throat. She took a deep breath and fought it for now. "He would do that, there's a lot of big cases, some of them involving people we know so he's invested. What can I do to help him?"

"You're doing it Eddie," Jamie replied. "You are there to help me and make sure that I'm good…" Jamie's voice sounded tight.

They left the doctor's office with new blood pressure pills, holding hands. "Maybe you can come down to the office a few times a week and we can have lunch. Having you close, seeing you…it's…"

Eddie smiled, "Yes, but you heard the doctor too. You need to be off the rest of this week and resting at home. If you do then you can go back to work on Monday. On Tuesday, we can start doing that. I can bring you that tea you like and I am going to take better care of you Jamie."

"How am I going to tell my Dad and the kids?" Jamie asked. "Dad will be so upset."

"Let's just tell him that you have to take it easy for a few days for your blood pressure, we'll tell the kids that same thing. Secretes that we share, Jamie, aren't the same as other secrets. These can't hurt us darling. They can't hurt us."

Jamie turned Eddie's chin up to his and took her lips into his own. "I love you, Mrs. Reagan."

"I love you too," Eddie whispered, still holding her emotions in. Later, there would be time to cry.

Frank was resting in the recliner and Danny was watching TV when Jamie and Eddie returned home. Linda was in the kitchen fixing lunch for everyone. Eddie quickly adjourned herself to help Linda, the pallor of Eddie's face might have been missed by the two retired cops but not by a very wise and experienced mother and friend. "What's happened Eddie?" Linda asked moving to her sister-in-law. Eddie began to cry.

Linda put her arms around Eddie holding her tight. Eddie used Linda's shoulder to muffle her sobs. "What is it?" Linda asked softly. "What did he say?"

Eddie pulled back but kept biting her hand to keep the pain from spilling out. Linda eased her into a chair and handed her a cup of water. Linda sat down across from Eddie and held the younger woman's hand until Eddie began to speak. "You can't tell anyone, Jamie and I said we weren't going to say anything because the doctor says he needs to rest mostly."

Linda nodded, "And I know you'll be sure he does that. What did he say?"

"He's been…I really shouldn't say anything, I don't want you to have to keep secrets from Danny," Eddie replied. "Jamie and I have been having such trouble over his keeping secrets from me."

"It's all right," Linda assured Eddie. "It's fine, Danny and I don't have that type of issue. It's okay, sister-in-law honor."

Eddie took a deep breath, "He's been having strokes, Linda. There are shadows all over his brain scan. Tiny little strokes we don't even know he's having. The doctor changed his meds and he wants him to rest all weekend and put his feet up."

"Then he'll have to do that," Linda replied. "And you will have to help him do that. Hold onto each other, support each other. You two do that very well and it won't be any different because you had some silly fights over Jamie's misguided sense of chivalry. He's not having deficits, he's doing fine. I know it's a blow, but you two are strong…Take a breath and let's feed those men."

While Linda tended to Eddie, Jamie sat on the couch beside Danny and put his feet up. "What did the doctor say, Dad?"

"I'm old, my lungs are old…" Frank quipped but Danny sighed. "They said he's doing better, they think the Lasix and increasing the bi-pap is working, but he has to cut out all salt in his diet."

Jamie nodded, "Turns out so do I. Doc wants me to take it easy for a few days and put my feet up, lower my blood pressure."

"But other than that?" Frank asked worried for his boy. "You're okay? Eddie looked pretty upset."

"Eddie's really sensitive lately, you guys know that," Jamie replied. "We finally talked it out and it's her health problems that are scaring her. She'll be okay, she's taking some deep breaths and we are working things out. I think hearing I need to take it easy and then seeing me do that will go a long way with her."

Danny nodded, "You can use some unwinding time anyway. You've been carrying a lot with Erin's case, the serial rapist…By the way, thank you for what you've done for Sean. You and Eddie, you saw how to reach him on a level that Linda and I could not…"

"You've always been able to do that with Joey," Jamie replied. 'I guess that's what godfather's are for."

Frank looked at both of his sons, getting along, helping each other…it did an old man's heart very good to see that. Frank took a deep shaky breath and closed his eyes.

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone who wished me well. I am home now and adjusting again. Also, thanks to the many readers that send their comments and thoughts. I really appreciate you all.**

 **Next Update – September 10** **th** **– No preview this time, that cliffhanger was enough!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

Jamie obeyed the doctor's orders and rested the next three days. Jamie and Eddie took turns caring for Frank's needs and whenever one of them was tired, the other picked up helping things along. Sunday morning, Jamie and Eddie lay curled together, leaving Lila and Steven to bring Frank to the early mass. They would attend later that day after resting a little bit more.

Jamie stroked Eddie's back, "I have to go back tomorrow baby. We still haven't caught Sean's rapist, and this thing with Erin…Either someone hacked her accounts or she's really done this, at least that's what it looks like."

Eddie sighed, "Erin and I have our differences but I can't believe that she willingly took part in the sale and kidnapping of innocent children, I just can't. I know that you'll find a way to clear her name, but since she's not sitting in jail or awaiting a trial of some kind, you can do it slower. Perhaps time with Erin will take the edge off of Nikki's personality."

"Nikki wanted to come down this weekend for dinner but I told her I felt it would be best if she didn't," Jamie confessed. "You're finally settling down and in and I'm feeling better, we don't need her stirring the pot, you know?"

Eddie agreed, "I hope your Dad a little responsible for that one. He was entirely too permissive with her. I think he learned his lesson."

Jamie agreed and slowly got up out of bed. "Brace," Eddie reminded him. "That's why your leg was getting weaker, you weren't using your supports."

Jamie nodded and reached for the annoying plastic contraption. He pulled it on and fastened the clips almost all the way. "Eddie…the top clip."

Eddie nodded gently and got up to secure the brace. "How's that…is it pinching your foot?"

"No, it only pinches when I have the sock on," Jamie replied. "We can fix it later." Using the cane and the brace, Jamie made it to the bathroom without incident. He executed his morning toilette entirely on his own. Usually he required the toothpaste opened or assistance with his shave, but today and the day before he did it fine.

Jamie came out smiling, "Your turn…I ran a tub. I noticed you were favoring that left side again where your hip hurts. A soak might do you some good."

Eddie slid from bed and slid her arms around him, "As good as some solid rest did for you." Eddie nuzzled him, so glad he seemed to be better and the ministrokes he had suffered, just that, mini. "Thank you for the hot tub. I'll be out soon to fix breakfast. We can go to the noon mass and be home in time for me to help the girls with dinner. Rita, Molly, and Lila are making their maiden voyage as a trio today. I have back up lasagna again."

Jamie laughed at Eddie and her back up food. Still, it had come in handy many times over the years. "I'm sure our girls will do fine."

Eddie sank into the hot water stretching her sore leg by reaching it up to the faucet and touching it with her toe. She heard Jamie fiddling in the bedroom, getting his clothing out and on. "I'm going down to do your tea and make coffee. Do you want me to juice your orange?"

"No, I'm going to eat it," Eddie called out. "I'm not very hungry this morning."

Eddie counted, "Five, four, three, two…" Then Jamie's face appeared. "You're not hungry?"

Eddie burst out laughing, "Not too. I feel all right, don't get so upset. I'll eat something later, I promise."

Jamie nodded and headed down to prepare the coffee and tea. Eddie took a twenty minute bath then joined him downstairs in pink top and grey pants with flat shoes. "Is it better?" Jamie asked moving to hold her again. This four days together had worked wonders on the strains in their marriage.

"It's better, yes, thank you," Eddie replied. "Egg whites and toast for you maybe?"

"Turkey bacon too, if it's not too much," Jamie replied sitting down with the Sunday paper. Both Eddie and Jamie were surprised when the door opened revealing Steven and a screaming Finn.

"What happened? Where's Lila, Reagan, and Dad?" Jamie asked. His grandson was crying in pain, he waited to see if the baby's father would realize it.

"Lila sent me back here with him. He just started to scream and Father was giving us looks. Lila is going to stay after to discuss their baptism."

"Well, why is he crying?" Jamie asked. "If he were hungry Lila would have nursed him."

"He's not, and he's not wet, he's just mad," Steven replied. "I think he's too hot in this blanket cocoon she put on him."

Jamie shook his head, "That's not it. Listen to your son's voice. Look at his face…" Jamie couldn't believe the baby was two months and his father still had to be coached.

Steven studied the boy's scrunched up face, "He always makes this face."

Jamie sighed and stood up, "Give me the baby." It was clear he was frustrated with Steven. Eddie turned to look at her son in law and watched Jamie unwrap their grandson and strip the baby to his diaper. Finally Jamie eased the diaper off revealing redness and roughness around the boy's private part and on his bottom. "He's got a diaper rash, your son was in pain. That was the sound he was making. In the upstairs bathroom there is a tube of diaper cream Eddie puts on them, bring that down and we'll put it on him."

Steven hurried upstairs and Jamie turned to Eddie, "We need to sterilize those kids. They should not reproduce again until they figure out how to be parents this first go around. Was it only me that could tell…"

"Jamie, as a new father, you were very supportive but when it came to understanding our Joey, you only learned that in the last two years. Glass houses my darling. You eat your breakfast, give me my grandson…"

Eddie showed Steven how to put on the diaper rash cream, 'Usually if one twin has it, so will the other and you're correct, the tightness of their swaddle might be contributing to this so I'd bring it up with Lila. They need the swaddle for comfort and warmth in the cooler weather but they need to breathe a little too."

Steven took Finn to rock him to sleep and Eddie looked at Jamie. "Why don't you and Steven go to the noon Mass, and I'll stay here with Finn and wait for Lila and Dad. My leg is a little sore, I think the hard pew might…"

Jamie nodded, "All right. I'll tell him."

Eddie ate half her orange, then with Finn in the swing started and aerobics tape while Jamie and Steven prepared to go to church.

"Babe, are you sure that's smart with a sore leg?" Jamie asked watching his wife bounce up and down.

"Yes, it's good for my leg and back, better than a hard pew for sure. I'll go with you next week, I promise. I love you." Eddie kept bouncing as Jamie tried to land a kiss on her lips. "Make sure you eat something love."

Eddie nodded and did her best to keep up with her DVD and made it through forty five minutes before her legs started to ache. She sat down, sweaty and out of breath and looked over at Finn. He felt better with the cream on his rash, so he kicked happily in his bouncy seat. Eddie smiled, "That's my boy, and you're a happy boy…" Eddie tickled his belly and Finn cooed. "Come on with Nan and get a nice shower…"

Eddie took the little boy upstairs, placed him in his bouncing chair on the floor of the bathroom while she showered. By the time Eddie came downstairs, Danny and Linda had arrived and Lila had returned with Frank and Reagan. "Is he okay? I told Steven to…"

"Steven did and I told him to go to church with Dad, my sciatic is bothering me and I wanted to do a work out DVD to stretch it out. Steven did fine, except he's not in tune yet with the babies cries. Finn was clearly in pain but he…"

Lila nodded, "He's better but he's just not home enough. He's working extra hours at the firehouse, he's trying so hard to be a good provider financially…"

"I'm hoping this trip to church with Dad is fixing that for you, sweet girl."

As Steven drove home from church with Jamie, Jamie instructed him to pull over. "Steven, for a smoke eater, I like you a lot. You're good to my daughter, you work hard…but son, Lila cannot raise these twins by herself. I'm going to say this one time…There is more to being a husband and a father than money. That's important, yes, but Lila and Joey don't remember the bills being paid or having the best toys, they remember me always being there for them and for their mother. They didn't like it very much when I wasn't and the twins won't like it either. I made my mistakes, I'm trying to help you from making them."

Steven nodded, "My Dad, he was always at work. My Mom raised me and my sister you know? I guess I'm doing it the way I saw it done and…I know it's hard on Lil. It kills me she's so tired…"

"Then step it up a little more," Jamie advised. "You stepped it up a little before now go another notch. Joe, I had a hard time, but my Lila, if she made a cry I knew what it meant. Start listening to your twins and watching what Lila does…You can do this. You can be more than what you had, you can be more than what I was…"

The look on Steven's face satisfied Jamie and he let the younger man continue driving to the already full house.

Rita, Molly, and Lila pulled together to produce a meal the represented them as young members of the Reagan family. Molly prepared soda bread, a lovely roasted potato dish, and bacon infused cabbage. Lila made the main dish, a garlic pot roast with caramelized onions and roasted mushrooms. Rita prepared the dessert a rum carrot cake, some peanut butter cookies, and a banana pudding. The family ate like kings.

Jamie noticed his wife's plate, one slice of meat, one spoonful of cabbage, and a few potatoes. "Do you want me to fix you something else if you don't like it?"

"I like it," Eddie whispered. "I do like it, I'm just not very hungry."

Jamie nodded, Eddie was quick to jump up and help clear when the dinner was finished. Jamie knew what that was about, she was tired and wanted the house to clear early. While the ladies were clearing, Jamie, Danny, Frank, Joey, and Jack put their heads together one figuring a motive for Dana Rosen. Sean quickly dismissed himself from the conversation heading to living room to play with his newest cousins.

"So far we have requested DNA from 64 Dana Rosens within the target area and all 64 coughed it up, so far we are ruling them out as suspects. We showed those pictures to Sean and other victims and no dice," Joey briefed. "Anse and I are hitting it again tomorrow knocking on more doors. The tails are in place the minute we get one to refuse a sample."

Frank sighed, "You'd do better finding who is you understood why…there's a pattern to the time that she strikes…three or four days in a row, then nothing for a month…Here it is again."

The men put their heads down studying the reports as Eddie began helping the girls serve dessert. Linda had gone to spoil babies with Sean and Steven. "Why is it like that?"

"Jamie, you aren't supposed to be working until tomorrow," Eddie admonished lightly.

Jamie leaned back and rubbed Eddie's hand, "I know, we're just trying to help Joe. Our female rapist attacks three or four days in a month, then goes dormant…"

Eddie looked at the dates of reported attacks, "Run her name through fertility clinics and OB offices," she suggested. "This woman is trying to get pregnant."

 **A/N: Well, Detective Eddie is not rusty at all is she. Sometimes it takes a lady to think of something even with the smartest men. Sorry for scaring all of you with Frank there but sometimes these things write themselves and that ending just happened.**

 **Next Updated – September 13** **th** **– Linda and Eddie got wedding shopping with the soon to be daughters in law while Joey and Anse work the case.**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two

"We've faxed the description and several versions of the composite to every OB office and fertility clinic in the five boroughs, assuming she's not going to focus on just Manhattan and assuming she might not live in Manhattan," Anse told Joey the following Monday. "That was something that your Mom figured that out."

"My Mom was a good detective in her day," Joey replied. "It took a woman to think like one I guess. Now based on the charts, she's due to attack on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. We need to set up a sting, try to flush her out."

Anse nodded, "We got a couple of suits from property crimes going UC to try to flush her. They'll each have their own tales. I hope your girl is up for a slow weekend, we'll be stuck to the van until this nightmare's fertile window passes."

Joey took a sip of coffee, "Molly and Rita are going with my mother, aunt, and sister to look at flowers. I cannot believe the wedding is four months away. In four months I'm going to be a husband, and nine months later I might be a father. I have to think about that one. Oh, Anse…I keep forgetting to ask you this. How about being my best man?"

Anse smiled, "Really? I thought you'd have someone from the family, like your brother in law?"

"I love Steven, he's a good guy, but…You're my partner and my best friend, it wouldn't feel right if my partner on the street didn't have my back on my big day."

Anse reached out and slapped Joey on the back, "Yeah, wow, I'd be honored to stand up with you. Molly's a terrific girl. You hit the jackpot there my friend."

Joey's face glowed, reflecting the love he felt in his heart for Molly. "I know I did"

"Molly?" Eddie asked as she held Molly's arm. "Do you like that bouquet?" Molly was admiring a white bouquet with pink tea roses and a soft green ribbon around the base. The problem was it had a very large price tag.

"Oh, yes, ma'am," Molly replied. "But that's too dear, I don't need that."

"Maybe not, but this is your special day, Molly. When I married Jamie, I wanted a silk line slip and handmade lace garter that cost almost $500.00. I wanted to feel like a princess, not just look like one. Do you like this bouquet?"

Molly looked down again the bouquet finally answering, "Yes, I do like it a lot."

Eddie smiled taking out her card to pay for the bouquet. "I'll pay you back, I promise."

"Don't worry Molly, you made my Joey happy, that's all I want." Eddie waved a hand and turned to sign her name.

"Still, it's so much money and you and Mr. Reagan…"

"That's another thing, honey," Eddie told Molly. "We are Eddie and Jamie or Mom and Dad, not Ma'am and Mr. Reagan or Mrs. Reagan or Commissioner…"

"It just feels…"

"Don't argue with her, Molly," Rita laughed. "This is a tight family we are marrying into, and we're getting great in-laws."

Molly looked over at her mother-in-law to be, her Joseph's beloved mother. Eddie was smart, sweet, and very down to earth. She reminded Molly a lot of her own mother with how deeply she loved and how happy she made her family.

"Rita, what did you pick out honey?" Linda asked. Rita showed her a bouquet of white and yellow roses, very spring. Linda smiled, "That's pretty it will go with the goldenrod in the dresses."

Molly looked down at her hand, the ring on her finger would join her to this wonderful family. She was so touched by what Eddie did for her. She missed her own parents so much sometimes. Eddie noticed how sad Molly's face looked and slid her arm around her, "Molly, did you find a Maid of Honor yet?"

Molly shook her head, "I was thinking of asking Lila but she's so busy with the babies."

"Lila would love to do that for you, honey," Linda said smiling. "Steven can help take care of the babies during the ceremony."

Rita started to laugh, "Steven is not exactly number one in the father department. He's standoffish with his babies."

"Jamie had a come to Jesus with Steven earlier this week, I think he got through to him on stepping up. Lila said he's doing a night feeding and that he gave Reagan a bath. He's still afraid of Finn," Eddie laughed. "Lila is sleeping better and feeling better. I agree, Molly, she'd be thrilled to be your Matron of Honor. She's so happy Joey found you."

Molly smiled, "And it's not too hard for you?"

Eddie shook her head, "My father is smiling seeing his grandson happy. My Joey, he's had a hard knock with his love life and for him to find you and fall so hard. That's a mother's blessing."

The four women headed to the restaurant where Lila met them with little Finn in a baby carrier. "Hey, how did it go?" she asked hugging her mother and aunt then her the two newest Reagan women. Molly smiled down at Finn. "Oh, handsome boy, out with all the ladies, hmm?"

"Steven is babysitting and he froze at the idea of having both twins. I asked Dad to watch Finn, but he said no so…"

Eddie's eyebrow shot up, "Dad said no to babysitting?"

Lila nodded, "Grandpa was doing that coughing thing and he was supposed to be having his new assistant over to go over their lists for Monday because Dad said he's taking off to take you to Dr. Gupta?"

"Linda is taking me, I told Dad that…" Eddie sighed. "Dr. Gupta isn't going to have much to say anyway, except I hope that I lost the four pounds I gained"

"You do look like you lost a little bit," Linda replied. "But you know it's no worries if you don't. We are all just happy that you are here and cancer free."

"That's true, Mom," Lila replied. "I know you are worrying about how you'll look for Joey's wedding but don't. I would rather have you and Joey would rather have you here than being skinny."

"You are a beautiful woman," Molly told Eddie. "I know how much Joey loves you."

"I'm feeling better about the weight issue," Eddie replied but Linda wasn't so sure.

Earlier that day, she'd seen Eddie working out to an aerobics tape and had not seen her drinking juice or anything besides bottled water. Eddie was ordering her fair share tonight though, an appetizer of meatballs and ricotta cheese and a pork chop with peppers. How could she judge? Linda wondered. She was not in Eddie's shoes, on more medications than she had fingers. She had no reference for how Eddie felt day to day.

Frank watched Jamie laughed with his new assistant Brenda Antunes. She was not a day over thirty, with long golden blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, a perfectly made up face, and was well endowed in her figure. There was no doubt the girl, at least to Frank she was a girl, was very good at her job, but her resemblance to Eddie was remarkable.

"Okay, you're all set," Jamie replied. "Thanks for giving up your Friday to go over with this with me. My wife is trying to skirt around me going to her appointment but I think it's important that I be there."

Brenda smiled, "My mother had kidney disease and she chose not to take care of herself and not to work on her health and it killed her. I'm so sorry, Commissioner that your wife has to go through this."

Jamie sat back, "My wife is…the strongest woman I have ever met. She wasn't much older than you when she got breast cancer and for a while she was pretty good but the anti cancer medication fried her kidneys."

"I really would love to meet your wife, Commissioner," Brenda said. "It was such a delight hearing your father's old stories."

Jamie sighed, "My wife is…my wife is sensitive to…You're very pretty, Antunes and you look quite a lot like my wife did and she's having body image issues. I'm concerned it will be upsetting for her right now. When she's in a more secure place, then yes, I would love to have you to dinner to meet my wife and children."

Brenda left not too long after that, Frank appeared in the living room with is oxygen. "That is one good looking young lady."

"I don't notice that much," Jamie replied. "I realize on the surface that she's a beautiful woman but she's not my Eddie."

Frank sat on the sofa beside Jamie, "Put the computer away, it's getting late."

"I know but the sting…"

"The sting is in Jack and Joey's hands, they are two very well trained cops, you are tired and need to relax a little bit before you have another TIA." Frank raised his eyebrow at Jamie. "What you think I didn't know?"

Jamie sighed, "Eddie and I wanted to keep it a secret from everyone, we didn't want to stress anyone while there was no deficits or consequences but I am cutting back my time at the office."

"You are that," Frank agreed. "But I'm your father Jamison, I am old but there is nothing wrong with my noodle. I can see when you have episodes, you trip, your hands shake, you search for your words...So let me just say this, who cares for Eddie when her kidneys finally quit and you have a massive stroke? You know who is comforting your poor wife when she has nightmares about that very thing? Not you, you're so dead asleep. It's me, I'm holding that girl like she was five and I was her Daddy. I don't mind soothing Eddie, I love her like my own daughter, but it's not fair, son."

Jamie nodded, "I know but you understand…"

"I do, I know how hard it is to walk away and I know you can't feel good about it until the circumstances are right, I'm just asking you to be more considerate of your wife, be as considerate of her in your work hours, as you are in exposing her to your pretty assistant."

Jamie nodded, Frank was nothing is not wise, he was nowhere near the enfeebled man he could be at his age. "I'm going to bed, I have myself hooked so you just relax, all right?"

Jamie stretched on the couch his eyes burning from staring at the laptop screen. Frank headed to bed minutes ago leaving Jamie to finish his work.

Eddie arrived home just as Jamie stretched out resting his head and body on the sofa. "Hey Jamie," she greeted making her way over to him.

Jamie sat up and pulled her onto his lap, hugging her and placed a kiss on her cheek. Jamie's exhaustion was evident in evey fiber of Jamie's body.

"How do you feel? Did Frank go to sleep?" Eddie asked softly.

"Exhausted, too much work and not enough time in the day. Dad went in about fifteen minutes ago," Jamie held her against him cradling her so she lay her head on his chest. "Oh, this feels so good. Did you enjoy your time out?"

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, Lila said you had a business meeting? She had Finn with her."

"I did have Detective Antunes over to go over Monday's meeting, and before you argue, I am going to the doctor with you, Linda can come too, we'll go out to breakfast after."

Eddie smiled, "All right, but Jamie, if you're tired Monday, stay home, Linda will be supportive, you know that."

"I do, but…Eddie nothing hurt me more than when we had our struggles last month, I just have to…All right?"

Eddie began to massage Jamie's chest, "Okay…Oh, Jamie…When the Visa comes…"

"What did you buy the twins this time?" Jamie asked half amused and half annoyed.

"Nothing," Eddie replied. "I bough Molly her bouquet. She was in love with it, and it was way beyond her means and Joey's too. I couldn't…I saw how much she wanted it."

Jamie smiled, "Okay, thanks for letting me know. You ready to go up?"

Eddie nodded, "You're good or you need me?"

"I'm good," Jamie replied. "Okay, I'm going to get some waters and be right up."

Jamie headed upstairs, Eddie checked on Frank then headed to the bathroom. She knelt down lost her dinner in the downstairs bath before going up to Jamie and falling asleep in his arms.

 **A/N: Jamie hired a new Eddie…but not to him, no worries my friends.**

 **Next Updated – September 15** **th** **– Eddie gets some unsettling news, Jamie puts his foot down about babysitting, Lila and Eddie have a heart to heart.**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

"The stimulator is not working as well as we'd hoped," Dr. Gupta told Jamie and Eddie at her Monday morning appointment. "Your blood panels are very concerning, I'd like to try another configuration of medication to try to get the creatine levels to a more manageable place."

"How bad is she, doctor?" Jamie wanted to know. The kidney issues did not seem to be bothering Eddie anymore, only his work hours and her weight got her attention.

"She's not in failure but her kidneys are not filtering the blood properly, it's almost as if they perceive the body is in a perpetual state of dehydration and malnutrition. I'm going to set up a consultation with a nutritionist, that coupled with a stronger machine and new medication will put us on the right track."

Jamie nodded, it was a blow, he hoped for better news. "I want you to go up to bed," Jamie told Eddie when they got home. Dr. Gupta said bed rest might help as well, it's good for the body to heal.

"Lila is bringing the twins, we are babysitting again, remember?" Eddie asked.

Jamie picked up his phone to text his daughter, he typed simply, "You are the twins' mother, you take care of your babies."

Eddie disappeared upstairs following Jamie's order to rest while Jamie bustled to the kitchen. He started a pot of tea while what the doctor said ran through his mind. He didn't hear Frank moving around, but he did hear the hum of the bi-pap, he must be napping.

"Daddy?"

Jamie heard Lila call out and headed into the living room where he found her holding the twins. She looked up a frazzled look on her face. "Daddy, what's wrong? I got your text but I was already on the way here. I'm not dropping…"

"Calm down, Kitten, I didn't mean to come off so harsh. Sit down. Mom is upstairs resting."

Jamie took Finn into a slow rock smiling at his grandson.

"Is she okay?" Lila asked lowering her voice slightly.

Jamie sighed the doctor's words still fresh in his head. "Baby, your mom's kidneys are bad. The doctor is recommending her to see a nutritionist to try to improve her overall health. She's not getting enough of the proper food or water."

Lila sat back clutching Reagan against her chest. "How bad is it?"

"The doctor said not urgent yet but she needs to take it easy. Sorry kitten, I just jumped at you and it wasn't fair. "

"It's okay. Why don't I set these two up with you and for a little play and go check on Mom?" Lila offered.

"I made some tea to take up to her," Jamie began. "I'll bring up the tea, you put your bad leg up and here, they both love this toy, all you do is push this button and it does it's thing. Play with your grandchildren."

Lila gave her father a kiss and headed to get the tea for her mother.

Eddie was lying on the bed with her feet up, both ankles were swelled up and her back ached. "Mom, it's me, I'm coming in."

Eddie sighed and covered up her legs with a blanket. "Hey, sweetie. Are you okay?"

Lila sat on the bed and handed Eddie a cup of tea. "I'm fine, Dad talked to me about the doctor."

Eddie sighed, "I'm fine, these doctors, they don't know how I feel, you know? I'm working out more, I'm feeling better and I did lose the four pounds so I'm on a good track. Dad just hears the scary stuff."

"Well, he loves you," Lila soothed. "He was making you this tea when I got here and now I have hi relaxing and playing with the twins. I'm going to be here a couple days so if you need help, just ask me."

"I need you to keep Dad off my back," Eddie replied. "Oh it's time for my aerobics tape, I always do it around noon."

Lila sighed, "What if you go for a walk instead? We can wheel the babies and then have some lunch when we get home. Spinach and walnut salad with some grilled shrimp, I can do them on the Foreman grill."

Eddie nodded and swung her leg off the bed. Lila noticed her ankles but let it go. Lila believed if they worked on Eddie's self-image she would begin to take better care of herself. Lila stood behind Eddie on the steps, they heard Jamie playing with the babies

"And this little piggy ran wee, wee, wee…all the way home!" Jamie laughed and Eddie heard Reagan giggle.

"Give you a state of the art toy and you play this little piggy," Eddie laughed. "That's what I love about you."

"Eddie you're supposed to be resting," Jamie sighed. "If you want to rest down here…"

"We're going for a walk together, Lila and I. I need to keep up the weight loss, I'm doing well, right?"

"You are losing some weight but the doctor said your kidneys are failing, that you're getting sicker…"

"Dad, I think if Mom feels better she'll be better," Lila offered. "We'll just take a short walk okay then I'm going to make a kidney healthy lunch. Make sure you wake grandpa so he can eat with us."

Jamie reached out and pulled Eddie into a big hug, "Just a short walk. I'll keep the twins. Lila please have Mom drink this whole water bottle, Eddie please…"

Eddie nodded and smiled, "I will. Stop worrying okay?"

Jamie pulled Eddie in again, "Never. I will never stop worrying about you, I love you."

Lila and Eddie set out on their walk while Jamie put Reagan in the swing and rocked Finn. "You don't get a lot of Daddy snuggles do you? We'll fix that with Grandpa snuggles then." Jamie believed if a baby didn't get hugged and kissed enough the child would wilt and end up not knowing how to love. He didn't want that for his grandson. "Let's go see Great Grandpa huh?"

Jamie carried Finn into the bedroom. Frank was busy fixing his oxygen tank when Jamie came in. "Look who came to see you?"

Frank looked up and smiled, "Oh, hello little guy…give him…" Frank reached for the baby. "Can you fix this, the gauge isn't reading right."

Jamie fiddled with the oxygen gauge while Frank held his great grandson, "How did Eddie's appointment go?"

Jamie shook his head, "She is focused on losing the four pounds, but I'm focused on her being healthy and he said flat out she's not doing well and needs to see a nutritionist, get a stronger kidney machine and more meds. I'm worried about her, Dad."

"Eddie is a big girl, she knows how she feels, I should be dead by now but I know how I feel too," Frank said. "Carry that thing to the living room for me, I am going to cuddle my babies. Did Eddie fix lunch?"

"Lila is after their walk," Jamie replied doing as Frank asked.

The two women started off down the sidewalk going nowhere in particular with no hurry. At first they walked in silence each in their own thoughts.

As they passed neighbors houses, the owner would wave or call hello to the women with a smile many knowing the Reagans for a long time. Kids played in the front yard making both women smile especially Eddie remembering when Lila and Joe were that age. Lila too recalled itching to get outside and run around.

Eddie and Lila walked at a reasonable pace, arm in arm towards Lila's house. "When you were little, you loved leg toys too just like the twins. I think from when you were able to kick me you were doing it. I'm so proud of the confidence I'm starting to see in you."

Lila kicked a rock, "Sometimes I'm faking it. Sometimes I have no idea what they want or need or anything."

"Confession," Eddie laughed. "Half of parenting is faking it. Sometimes I had no clue what to say to you or your brother. Joey went through a violent period when I was sick, I had no idea what to say to him to make him feel safe and secure again. So, I offered as much love as I could, as much direction as I could from my own experiences…A lot of parenting too is trying make sure that they don't make the same mistakes you did. I know that's no help now…"

Lila laughed, "Yes, the biggest help now is someone folding the laundry or doing the dishes, which I admit Steven does when he's home. He's getting more comfortable with Reagan, but he's not happy with Finn, I don't know if he even likes him."

"Finn is another man competing for your attention. My advice, I had to do this with you actually, Daddy was afraid to handle you when we got you home, take Reagan out with me, a girls day, and leave Finn with Steve. Don't give him a choice, he'll sink or he'll swim. Dad and grandpa will be back up."

Lila though about this, "That actually sounds fun. We can get her little ears pierced…"

"I had yours done when you were about her age, you barely even fussed," Eddie smiled. "Let's call it a plan, how about Steven's next Saturday off?"

Lila smiled and wrapped her arms around Eddie, "It's a date."

They walked in a pleasant silence a little longer then, "One thing I am so grateful for is that my children have their grandmother. It's something I always felt I was missing. I mean, I had two wonderful grandpas but…"

"I didn't have my grandma either at least not much," Eddie replied. "What about Maura, do you see her often? Does she come by?"

Lila shook her head, "I bring the kids over to her and they hug and kiss them but they aren't interested in teaching us anything. Maura thinks that Steven shouldn't be hands on with the kids at all, he's the breadwinner."

Eddie rolled her eyes, "Still, don't let that get to a point where Steven is upset his folks have no relationship with his children. Your father pushed me to have a relationship with my father."

"I'm not pushing him," Lila assured Eddie. "But it will be over my dead body that I let them babysit. Steven's firehouse gala is coming up over President's weekend. I was hoping that you and Dad could keep the twins …"

"Yes, of course," Eddie replied. "If I'm having a rough time, or Dad we'll ask Uncle Danny and Aunt Linda to help…"

Lila smiled, "You know I used to be upset being in such a big family, but now…"

"I know, my girl," Eddie replied hugging her daughter. "I do indeed."

 **A/N: Always have to love mother/daughter bonding time and worried Jamie is cute.**

 **Next Update – September 18** **th** **– Steven is forced to care for his son when Lila suffers a minor injury.**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

"Your father is going to kill me when he sees that, Lila," Steven sighed as he put a package of frozen peas on Lila's bruised swollen eye. 'He's going to blame me and say I did it even if you tell him the truth, which is so ridiculous you couldn't make it up!"

"My mother's had babies, she will back it up," Lila sighed. "If you don't come with me today, he really will get suspicious. No one would be dumb enough to walk into a house full of people that carry or have carried guns for a living if they played punching bag with one of the family."

Steven laughed, "I suppose that is true, but if they go for the guns I'm running for cover."

Lila laughed, "You got a deal. Can you get the twins dressed so that I can hold these peas on my eye so it doesn't swell shut?"

"Even Finn?" Steven asked. "He wiggles and he flops…'

"He's an active little baby, he likes to move around. Keep a hand on his belly lightly, he'll be okay. Just make sure you have all the clothing and stuff out before you put him on the changing table," Lila advised. "Don't be afraid, you'll be fine."

Steven took both twins upstairs to the nursey. Lila had laid outfits for each child on the changing table. Steven tackled Reagan first, the little girl was feisty and likes to kick and vocalize but she more or less remained still. "Okay, pretty girl, let's put on this pretty ducky dress Grandma Eddie got for you." Steven skillfully dressed the little girl from a blue and yellow bow in her hair to tiny white socks. "There we go, all pretty."

Steven laid Reagan in her baby seat then took Finn, "Okay, buddy, go easy on Daddy."

Finn laughed as he was placed on top of the table working his diaper first. Laughing and kicking his little legs at his father.

"Hey easy buddy, I'm almost done." Holding Finn with one hand Steve reached across to pick up the blue dress pants and white short sleeve shirt Lila laid out.

Just as Steve reached to pull the pants on Finn pulled his legs back smiling. "We have to get dressed buddy, c'mon," Steve sighed giving Finn's legs a small tickle.

The light sensation sent Finn into giggles allowing Steve to put the pants on. Sighing in relief he tickled Finn's stomach trying to slip the shirt over his son's head.

With both babies dressed and Lila's eye open if not bruised, the Tenneys headed to family dinner. "Let me explain it," Lila told Steven. "You just show Mom and Dad how great you are doing with the twins, they'll be proud."

Steven nodded but still felt he was holding his breath until Jamie saw Lila's face. "Hello," Lila called out as they entered the back door. "Oh Mom, goulash…"

Eddie lifted her head from stirring the pot and smiled until she saw her daughter's eye. "Lila, my God, what happened? Jamie…"

"Mom, it was an accident," Lila said calmly. "It was actually really embarrassing and I am already not going to live it down. Steven is scared to death when Dad sees he's going to…" Lila noticed her mother glaring at her husband, "Mom, I need you to talk Dad down, not fuel his fire."

Typically Eddie was level headed when it came to dealing with Lila and Jamie was such with Joe, but today Eddie's mother's claws were out and she was having a hard time sheathing them.

"Someone talk," Eddie said after a moment. Linda had fallen back to watch in case she had to get Danny to help calm things down.

"Well, it happened last night when Steven was still at the firehouse. Both kids fell asleep together around five, so taking your advice and Aunt Linda's, I laid down to take a nap on the sofa. I fell asleep in probably seconds, but the next thing I know they are both screaming their heads off. I jump up and forget where I fell asleep, I thought it was on my bed, but it was the sofa and that back wall near the kitchen, I walked right into it cause if it was my bedroom that door opens to the bathroom with goes through to the nursery. I thought I broke my nose, there was blood all over the place." Lila began to laugh at herself, Eddie was softening but still not finding it amusing.

"I got home, and she had to screaming kids and a diaper attached to her face," Steven finished.

"She's over tired," Eddie replied. "And…"

"Steven dressed both twins today by himself while I iced my face," Lila bragged. "Even Finn, and they look pretty good if I do say so myself."

Jamie's appearance stopped any further comments from Eddie. "Did I hear my favorite babies?" he asked as the twins had been making their presence known with coos and hollers.

"Yes, hi, Daddy," Lila greeted not drawing attention to her eye. That didn't stop Jamie, but he reacted more calmly than Eddie had. Jamie gently cupped Lila's chin, "What did you do?"

"Walked into the wall by the kitchen," Lila replied. "I fell asleep on the couch and was so asleep I forgot which room I was in. If I was in the bedroom I'd have gone to the nursery through the bathroom but I was in the living room so…"

Jamie looked over at Steven, "You are lucky my daughter is a horrible liar and that she has a tell, if not…" Jamie just raised his eye brow. He reached down for Finn and picked him up. Reagan had cooed herself to sleep but the little boy was looking around wide eyes. "I bet you are wondering why you only have on sock on huh?"

"Steven!" Lila gasped mortified they had left the house with one of their babies doing his best Diddle Diddle Dumpling impression.

"He had two when we left," Steven said quickly. "I swear."

Jamie looked in the baby seat, "He kicked it off." Jamie easily balanced the boy and retrieved the sock. Carrying Finn to the living room Jamie whispered, "Don't be kicking your socks off getting Daddy in trouble, he does that fine all by himself."

When Jamie was in the other room, Steven visibly relaxed. "I thought he was going to flip out and kill me."

Eddie looked at Steven, "Lila is a terrible liar, and that story was just ridiculous enough to be true, just remember, we are all expert marksman, even Linda and Sean."

"I know, Mom," Steven replied. "Let me take Reagan into the living room and let you ladies chat."

With Steven gone, Linda examined Lila's nose, "It looks okay, it's not broken or anything like that. Keep icing the eye a few more days and you'll feel yourself again. You need more rest honey."

Lila agreed, "Steven is stepping up, it's just a lot with two."

"It's a lot with one," Linda empathized. She wanted to offer to help her but she knew Jamie and Eddie were wanting Lila to do this on her own.

"I am getting the hang of it, they took a nap at the same time, usually they only do that for Mom," Lila laughed. "Where's Grandpa? Living room?"

"He's sleeping," Eddie replied. "He had a couple of good days but today he's just not himself at all, he's a little spacey so we think his O2 is low."

"Did you check his numbers Aunt Linda?" Lila asked.

"He's too combative, we're seeing if a nap does the trick, we'll wake him at dinner."

"You're a natural there, Joe," Danny teased his nephew as he held his niece in his arms. "You and Molly planning on giving the Kid more grandchildren?"

"Yes, Molly and I want a big family," Joey replied. "But hopefully we have babies one at a time instead of two at a time." Joey wiggled Reagan in his arms and watched her make a little smile. "I see you smiling at me, you love your Uncle Joey, don't you."

"Things are on track for their baptism in three weeks," Steven told Joey. "And Lila and I are so proud that you'll be their Godfather."

"I already love them like my own, and Molly does too," Joey replied. "She would be here but she's got a patient that is close to crossing over, as she puts it. She has coverage for the baptism though."

"That's good, Reagan's Godmother has to be at her baptism, Lila was over joyed when Molly said yes and Molly was so much more enthusiastic than my sister when she accepted being Finn's Godmother."

"Well, your sister is going to miss out if she's not down with the playing cause Molly and I cannot wait until after the wedding when we can babysit overnight and give Mom and Dad a break."

"Eddie and I don't mind the occasional overnight," Jamie replied smiling. "Put the baby down now, Joe and held set the table. Uncle Danny couldn't see to connect the leaf this afternoon and he still insists he doesn't need glasses."

"I don't," Danny replied. "My eyes just don't work well sometimes, like you hand doesn't work and between your hand and my eyes…Joey needs to fix the table."

Joe went off to do the table. Jack and Rita arrived ten minutes later, the two cousins did fine outside of work but they were still battling one another at work. Joe and Anse were still no closer to breaking the case, and Jack still felt Joe exploited his younger brother, though Sean did not feel that way at all.

Lila came out of the kitchen while Rita was indulging herself in a snuggle with Finn. "Aunt Linda will be happy to see that, she's itching for grandchildren."

"Well, we'll see, Jack and I plan to start a family sooner rather than later," Rita replied. "Do you need help serving?"

"No, Mom's just draining the dumplings and I wanted to see if either baby was ready to go down in grandpa's room before we eat. Looks like just Reagan."

Lila leaned down and lifted her daughter carrying her to her grandfather's room. She put the baby in the bassinet they kept there for convenience then shook Frank's arm. "Grandpa it's time to eat. Goulash."

Frank didn't budge. "Grandpa!" Lila shook him harder. "Grandpa!"

Still no response. Lila turned on the lap, her heart racing. Frank's eyes were open, staring straight up at the ceiling but he wasn't responding to any of Lila's calls. It was then Lila realized Frank's leg was hanging off the bed, he wasn't in sleeping position anymore at all. "Steve!" Lila called out as she felt for a pulse, finding one, though it was very weak. "Steven! Aunt Linda!"

Both Linda and Steven dashed into the bedroom, finding the same unsettling scene as Lila. Steven began first aid while Linda dialed 911. The rest of the family gathered in the room at the terrifying and shocking site each offering a prayer of hope as they waited for the sound of sirens.

 **A/N: Special thanks to my friend who shared one of her new mother nightmares with me. Lila's incident is based on that true story. Frank's dilemma is also based on a true story, special thanks for sharing such intimate details both the light and the heavy.**

 **Next Update – September 21** **st** **– The family sits vigil with Frank and discusses if Erin should be called.**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Five

Sean ran full speed into the emergency room at Lutheran Hospital. He had just gotten off his shift at St. Victor's when his mother's desperate phone call had sent him away from the direction of his comfortable bed and towards the Brooklyn hospital his grandfather had been rushed to in the wake of his ...no one seemed to be sure what it was yet.

Sean came upon the entire family save Erin and Nikki in the waiting room. His father was pacing, Danny never could stay still when he was worried about something. Jamie was sitting on one of the sofa's with Eddie at his side. Lila had set the twins in their carriers alongside her father while she sat off to the side with Steven, Joe, and Jack. Jamie just picked Finn up to hold while Eddie engaged Reagan.

"Mom, what on earth happened?" Sean asked going up to Linda first. "Where is he?"

"In the trauma room," Linda replied. "I don't know what's wrong, he was breathing but it was shallow and Steven said his oxygen was up way too high, so maybe he got…"

Sean nodded, "Let me see what I can find out."

Sean hurried back and began speaking to the nurse at the desk. "They are still working on him, we just have to sit tight and wait. They paged Dr. Burg and he's just arrived so I'm sure we'll know something soon."

Sean joined his brother and cousins to wait for news on Frank.

Jamie rocked Finn in his arms slowly a worried expression on his face. While they waited Jamie's mind wandered in panic. He couldn't lose his father, not in the middle of all this mess!

"Jamie, try to relax, lambchop," Eddie said softly worried he'd fall from shock seeing the look on his face as he took to frantically pacing.

"Eddie, my dad he's everything to us. We can't lose him." Jamie hugged Finn closer using the happy little boy to pull strength from.

"He's strong," Eddie soothed. "His spirit is strong, this is another setback, I just know that's all it is. Please sit down with that little baby."

Jamie sighed but took his seat on the couch again. "Give me that boy, Reagan is getting jealous."

Jamie and Eddie switched babies. Lila came over, "Are they being good?"

Eddie nodded, "Thank you for leaving them by us, I think it's helping your Dad to stay focused. This is taking so long…"

Finally, Dr. Burg came out of the trauma room and the entire Reagan family. Linda and Sean stood the closest, both better equipped to understand the medical jargon.

"You can come back and see him in a few minutes," Dr. Burg told the close knit family he had known for nearly 20 years. He knew that was always their first question, when could they rally around their loved one? "Basically what happened is the gauge on his oxygen machine was turned up too high. Essentially that made his lungs very lazy and that caused an episode of…"

"Hypercapnia," Sean finished for him. "Too much carbon dioxide…"

"That's correct, Dr. Reagan," Dr. Burg replied. "We suspect the gauge has been off for the past couple of days and over time Frank's lungs became lazy and failed to expel the proper amounts of carbon dioxide."

"Is he going to be okay?" Lila asked holding onto her husband's arm.

"Right now he's in a coma," Dr. Burg replied. "The brain was starved for oxygen along with other body tissues. At this point, I'm cautiously optimistic that if he comes out of the coma he'll recover but given the damage to the lungs that is already there…we have to wait and see."

Sean nodded, "So are you ventilating him?"

"No, we have him on the bi-pap," Dr. Burg replied. "We're concerned if we do use intubation or a more invasive assistive ventilation device we won't be able to wean him off it later. Come on back now, you can see him two at a time. Unfortunately, though, the little ones have to remain outside."

Lila reached to take her babies but Jamie moved back keeping Reagan close. He wasn't quite ready to let go of his granddaughter and face the harsh reality. Danny and Linda headed in first with Sean going to review the medical charts.

Jamie continued to pace with Reagan cooing on his shoulder happy to be up high and seeing new things. "Jamie, sit down your about to pass out," Eddie begged. "You are ripe for a TIA right now."

Jamie reached into his pocket for his phone giving Eddie a shake of his head. "Erin has to know."

Before Jamie could place the call Eddie pushed the phone down. "Jamie, listen to me go calm down first; you don't need any more stress. Erin coming back now, with the climate the way it is against her…that will bring you unlimited stress and that is not what you or your dad need. At least talk to the rest of the family first."

Jamie nodded, "You're right, I'm just…" Jamie swallowed her. "I think it's my fault."

"What?" Eddie asked softly.

"I think it's my fault. The other day he was trying to fix the gauge and I went and turned it for him. What if I turned it up too much? What if I did this?"

"Jamie, don't talk like that. I checked the gauge yesterday morning and it was all right. He must have been adjusting it at night, I noticed a blister on his face…"

Meanwhile, Danny and Linda were in for a shock. The nurses and orderlies were very busy arranging Frank's large body on the bed and securing the bi-pap to his face. His eyes were closed, hands and arms limp, but the most unsettling thing for Danny was the way Frank took each breath, open mouthed, with marked motion of his neck. Linda ran a hand up and down his back. "It's going to be okay honey," Linda soothed. "Its going to be okay, we got him to the right place."

"Do we want it to be okay? Why do I always wonder that?" Danny asked.

"You're scared of change, if he's not himself again mentally…that means a big change, Jamie might not be able to handle him any more, we might have to step up. It's been nice of them to let us have this retirement time but…"

"I know, and if he needs…"

"Of course," Linda replied. "Sean how's it looking."

"Not too bad," Sean replied. "I think it's going to be a few days but the CO2 levels weren't too badly out of whack, in a healthy body perhaps we'd see some dizziness, confusion…but not this. This is more a testimony to his failing lungs."

"But you think he'll pull out of it?" Danny asked.

Sean nodded, "I do…I heard Uncle Jamie saying that he needs to speak to you and I think it's about calling Aunt Erin so…"

Danny nodded, he knew his brother would want to, but was that good for their father, to bring public scrutiny onto the family and strain Frank more. "Tell him I'll be out in a minute."

Danny reached down and patted Frank's hand, "Feel better, Dad. We'll be up to see you when they get you settled."

Linda kissed Frank's head, "Love you," she whispered then headed out for what she knew would be a heavy family meeting.

"He looks horrible," Danny told the waiting family members. "There is no reason to make this worse by having Erin here at least not until Dad is out of the coma and more himself."

"What if he doesn't come out of the coma, Danny?" Jamie asked. "What if his lungs just can't sustain him and we kept our sister away because of some bogus charge and…"

Eddie put her hand on Jamie's back, "I agree with Danny, honey."

"Yes, well, you and Erin…" Jamie began.

"Dad, this isn't about Aunt Erin," Lila reminded Jamie. "This is about what's right for Grandpa and for the rest of the family. You've been keeping a lid on this case so long, all the hard work to prove her innocent…"

"Yes, honey, please listen," Eddie implored Jamie. "If Frank wakes up and wants to see Erin, then by all means, we'll bring her in but for now, he's needing all of our attention now. We don't need to pull that focus from him."

Danny nodded, "You are 100% right, bringing Erin and Nikki in now will have the hospital swarming with press, it'll stress Dad out if he knows about it, and Kid it'll stress you out, more than that it'll stress the entire family out"

Jamie put his head down lower, feeling dizzy. He knew the rest of the family was right, but he always felt a closeness to his sister, he felt to keep this from her was a betrayal.

Joey rubbed his father's arm, he knew, more than anyone how Jamie responded to all this stress. "Dad, if the doctors come and say the worst, that Grandpa isn't going to pull out of this I will drive up to Boston myself and get her and bring her back, all right. For now, let's let Grandpa heal and be here for him. Okay?"

Eddie looked up at Joey, proud he was able to see the openness in his father and get through to him. Two years ago, this would have become a huge fight between then. "Thank you, Joe," Jamie replied. "Eddie you ready to go see Dad?"

Eddie nodded and hand in hand, Jamie and Eddie went back to see Frank.

The nurses had just settled Frank in the ICU when Jamie and Eddie walked in. He did look terrible but the bi-pap had evened out his breathing, but his color and overall look were still unsettling. Eddie couldn't help herself, as hard as she tried to be strong for Jamie, she saw Peter on his death bed when she looked at her father-in-law.

Eddie raised a shaking had to her mouth, "Oh my God," Eddie hiccupped trying to stop herself from breaking when Jamie needed her to be strong.

Jamie turned and put his arms around Eddie. "I know, Sweetie. I know…"

Jamie pushed down his own emotions to console his wife. Eddie was as much Frank's daughter as he was his son. This was hard on her as well Jamie knew she was remembering her own father looking much the same way before succumbing to cancer not even two years ago.

"I'm sorry, Jamie, I never thought I would ever see HIM like that," Eddie sniffled and laid her head on Jamie as they approached the bed.

Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head and stroked her arm, trying to keep her calm. "Dad," Jamie said gently. "Eddie and I are here and the kids are downstairs. We're all here for you Dad and we love you so much…Hang on Dad."

Eddie took a breath, "I love you as much as my own father, Frank. We still need you so much so you take your time but you come back to us." Eddie leaned down and gave Frank a kiss on the cheek.

"He's strong, aside from his lungs, he's strong and he's stubborn," Jamie consoled his wife and himself with those comments.

"I know he is," Eddie replied. "Sometimes I think he's stronger than me. Sometimes I think…"

"Eddie, you carry this family just like he does," Jamie replied. "You help hold us together, our family…I'm so proud of what I'm seeing with you lately, how you are taking good care o yourself."

Eddie felt like Jamie stabbed her in the chest. She knew she had been doing anything but taking good care of herself but somehow, she had to lose this weight, she had to become beautiful again. Eddie felt awful she was thinking of this here, with Frank fighting to live, Jamie buckling under that stress of helping lead the family through this…and she was thinking of herself. She didn't deserve Frank's love or Jamie's admiration, maybe she never did.

 **A/N: Once again, Frank's struggles in this chapter are based on those of a friend's dear relative that succumbed to his illness. COPD is often brushed off as just difficulty breathing when it is so much more and involved so much more. Thank you to my friend so for sharing her intimate story.**

 **Next Update – September 24** **th** **– Reveals Frank's fate.**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six

Frank remained in a deep coma for three days. During those three days, family was in constant attendance at his bedside. Danny and Linda would sit during the day with Lila coming and going, then in the evening, Jamie and Eddie would stay taking breaks for visits from Joe and Molly and Jack and Rita. Sean would call Dr. Burg after each of his rounds to get an update on his grandfather's condition.

Finally on the third day, while Danny and Linda were eating lunch and watching the news, Frank began to stir.

Linda noticed it first, her years of training kicking in full speed. "Frank…" Linda said softly. "Frank, open your eyes. It's Danny and Linda."

Danny touched Frank's hand. "Dad, I'm here. I'm right here…"

Frank made another groan the pushed open his eyes. He looked up at Linda then looked over at Danny. "Dad, it's all right…" Danny did not understand the intense fear in Frank's eyes.

"Hold his hand, Danny," Linda informed her husband. "I'll be right back." Linda hurried to track down a doctor while Danny tried to comfort his father.

For his part, Frank heard the voices and saw the faces, but nothing he heard or saw connected to a memory. He felt like he should know this man that was holding his hand, but he didn't seem to draw much comfort from it yet. He stilled and closed his eyes.

When the doctors came to examine Frank Danny and Linda had to wait in the hall. "I'm going to call Jamie and Eddie, have them come down," Danny told Linda. "They'll want to know that he woke up and maybe he'll feel better seeing more of us, he'll feel more secure."

Danny stepped away to call Jamie while Linda got Sean on the phone. "Grandpa's awake," she told her son. "But he doesn't seem to know us."

"I'm on my way," Sean texted back. "Okay, little bit, Uncle Sean has to go…" Sean put Reagan back in her swing. "Lil, I have to go, Grandpa's up and Mom wants me to look at him."

Lila smiled, "Here…take a quick picture of the twins to show him."

Sean snapped the photo then headed out to hospital.

When Sean arrived, Frank was extremely agitated. "No, no!" He shouted and batted at Danny and Linda's hands. "Dad, it's okay, relax," Danny soothed but Frank was having none of it.

"Dad, it's okay," Danny tried soothing calmly keeping his worry about the state of his father buried.

Sean stopped taking deep breaths from running watching his grandpa flail about. "Dad, Mom give him some space; don't hold him down, let him calm down."

Both Danny and Linda stepped away pained seeing Frank like this. It took several minutes for Frank to calm down exhausted by the episode allowing them to try again.

"Dad, it's me Danny." The blank stare in his father's eyes not recognizing him caused Danny's voice to waver.

"What's going on, Sean?" Danny asked his son as Sean looked at the print outs and read the chart notes.

"Many times when patient has had this type of carbon dioxide poisoning the brain is starved for that oxygen and it takes some time even after coming out of the coma for all the systems to come back on line," Sean explained. "That's what is happening right now, at least I believe so from the notes and speaking his doctors.

"So when does he come out of it?" Danny pushed. "When will my father know me again?"

"Let's give him a day to acclimate. It may be all he needs, he may need more time," Sean comforted.

Jamie and Eddie rushed into the room just as Sean finished his explanation. "Dad, hey, how you doing?" Jamie softly touched Frank's arm but Frank looked at him like he had no idea. "Who…"

"It's Jamie. I know it's scary, I know you're scared," Jamie soothed. "I know, I remember."

Eddie stood back with Danny, "Jamie told me that after he work up from his stroke, he only remembered me. He never mentioned that before but I think he has a good frame of reference."

Linda smiled, "Go hold his hand, but don't push him, let him come to you. When he remembers, he'll remember you and Jamie…and Erin."

Danny moved and took Frank's free hand. "That's Danny, you know Danny," Jamie coached. "And I'm Jamie…We're your sons…"

His sons…He had two, no three sons, and...Both of Frank's hands fastened hard on his son's hands. Slowly, Frank looked from Jamie to Danny and back, slow recognition showing on his face. His weaker grips clamped down on the boys hands as he held onto his boys' hands for all he was worth.

"Take it easy, Dad," Danny soothed feeling the fear through his father's hand. "Easy...it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay, you're doing much better."

Sean saw his mother and Eddie looking on, "Mom, Aunt Eddie let's give them some time, Grandpa is trying to acclimate again and so far he's attaching to Dad and Uncle Jamie. Let's give them that time."

Eddie nodded, "You want to get a cup of tea?" she asked Linda.

"Sound good to me," Linda replied leaving the three Reagan men to bond and Sean to seek out Dr. Burg to discuss what was going to come next.

"How are you feeling Eddie?" Linda asked when they sat down. "You look good, you look like you lost a little weight?"

"I did, seven pounds," Eddie replied. "I am trying so hard to do this for the wedding. I cannot believe both of my children and one of yours will be married in four months."

"I know it," Linda sighed. "This family has been going through so much since the twins were born and now the wedding is that much closer."

"And grandmotherhood will come for you too," Eddie assured Linda. "Rita is always saying how much she wants a baby. Lila might tell her different. She has her hands full."

"I applaud you Eddie for tough loving Lila and pushing her to take care of the twins on her own. I feel the urge to jump in and help, I can't think what that feels like for you."

"It's hard, but when I had my kids, my mother wasn't there and you and Erin had careers and families so I had to do it on my own with Jamie and it made me a better mother and our marriage was strong, I want that for my girl more than I want to help her."

That all made sense to Linda. She had her mother and Mary to help when the boys were small. "How are things going between you and Jamie now?" Danny was still worried about the state of his younger brother's marriage.

"It's better," Eddie replied. "I'm getting over a lot of my worries about him and he's been a little more open with me. I still want him retired and home where I can keep an eye on him but I'll pick my battles. He's being religious with the fifty hours a week and he's asking me for help at home more so..."

"I'm so glad," Linda replied smiling. "It was killing Danny to see how things were going for you and Jamie. There's always been something incredibly special that as wonderful as our marriage is..."

Eddie nodded, "So many couples say that to us. I think it comes from having a mutual understanding of the job. What Jamie sees, hears, and does out there can only really be fully understood by another cop. That's not to say that there's something wrong with a cop and noncop marriage, but that's the element other's are looking at."

Linda nodded, "That is true of being a nurse too or a doctor...there are things only someone else in your shoes can understand and that elevates a marriage to a new level."

Eddie smiled and played with her wedding ring, that was her prized possession. She remembered the day Jamie put it on her finger and how heartbroken she was when lymphedema made it so she could no longer slide it on. Jamie had truly warmed her heart when he slid the resized rings back on her hand during Lila's wedding. Eddie craved to have that kind of love and closeness again, she still felt that was missing.

"Mom?" Joey approached Eddie and Linda's table with Anse close behind him. "Is Grandpa okay?"

Jamie had been diligent about what time he and Eddie were at the hospital.

"Yes, he woke up and was agitated so Dad and Uncle Danny are in with him now. He's disoriented and frightened, but he came back to us. What are you doing here? Are you all right?"

Joey nodded and fought off a smile, "We got a break in the Sean's case. A Dana Rosen with a matching DNA profile to the sample on Sean's sheets took a pregnancy test here three days ago. The Judge just signed the subpoena for her medical records. I think we're close to getting her Mom."

This got Linda's attention, "Wait, she took a pregnancy test. So that means..."

"We don't know many of the details yet, Aunt Linda," Joey replied. "When we can fill you in we will, but Anse will have to take Sean's statement if we make an arrest and he can make a positive ID. I'm not allowed to touch it, Jack's orders, not mention my Captain."

Linda sighed, she wanted this nightmare to be over for her baby boy, Sean was nearly forty, but that made no difference to Linda.

"Well go get her, Joe" Eddie told her son standing to give him a big hug. "You two watch your backs, Anse, you'll have to come to dinner to celebrate closing this nightmare case."

"Yes, Ma'am,' Anse replied. "Let's get going..."

Eddie and Linda cleaned the table then walked back to Frank's room to check on him and their husbands. Frank was still incredibly upset, fussing and moaning, but not making much sense. The memories he had, three children, two boys and one girl, were not jiving with what he saw, two boys...

"Dad, everything is okay," Jamie kept soothing his father with words and touches. Frank had a death grip on both Jamie and Danny's hands, similar to the grip they would have used when they were children and did not want their father to go. As disturbing as this was for Jamie, it was getting to Danny even more. He hated to see his father having an exacerbation let alone helpless and afraid like he was now.

Jamie met Danny's eyes and fixed him with his best commissioner's glare, a look he inherited from his father that Danny never quite mastered. "Danny, you have to keep it together," Jamie implored his big brother when it appeared Frank was sleeping. "I know you are freaked out, I am freaked out too but he never let us see when he was frightened, we own him the same."

Danny took a breath, "I really need him to let go of my hand. I have to pee."

Jamie had to laugh, "Just tell him, pull back, and go. He'll understand and if he feels like he's in the loop, he won't be afraid."

Danny nodded, Jamie had been in this place between life and death before while Danny never had been. He was grateful for his brother's advice, but it hurt that his younger brother had this knowledge.

"Dad, I have to go to the bathroom, but I'm going to be right back,' Danny said gently then pulled his hand easily from Frank's grasp.

While Danny was gone, Frank's eyes opened. Again the searched the room and again they settled on Jamie with fear. "Where she?"

"Where's who, Dad? Mom?" Jamie asked thinking that his father was remembering his mother.

"No, no,' Frank said with a little more strength and conviction. "Erin."

 **A/N: Frank is back, a little "Bumpy" as Eddie would say but he is back. Going to take a lot more to take him out of the game.**

 **Next Update – September 27** **th** **– Joey keeps his promise to retrieve Erin, Lila confronts Eddie on some curious habits.**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

Much to Joey's chagrin, he left Anse to follow-up on the lead in the serial rape case and drove up to Boston to retrieve his aunt as he had promised his father. As he drove the long road ahead, Joey thought about the argument his parents had the night before. Eddie had been in reduced to sobbing mess at the thought of Erin coming back and the scrutiny that would bring upon the family, mainly Jamie and Frank.

" **Jamie, we can't," Eddie sobbed in the private hospital waiting room allotted for city commissioners and their families during times of struggle. "We can't do that, what will it do?"**

 **Jamie was trying to get a hold of Eddie. Jamie knew if he was able to get his arms around Eddie where he could hold her close and steady her that she would see reason.**

" **Eddie, baby, I hear you," Jamie said gently giving up at trying to catch his wife. Eddie's anxiety was making her way too fast for him on his best day. "I hear what you are saying and what you are scared of, believe me, I do, but try to hear me now. Dad wants to see Erin and the doctors, including Sean, think it's the best thing for him if we do that."**

" **But it isn't," Eddie sobbed. "It's not the best! It's not the best at all when reporters will be in here trying to take his picture and stories will be running that he's on his death bed so his daughter comes out of hiding…"**

" **Eddie, I really don't think that's going to happen," Linda offered gently. She didn't understand Eddie's strong dislike for their mutual sister-in-law nor her fear of her, but she did her best to empathize. "I'm sure Jamie and Danny will do everything they can do to protect Frank from the press or anyone else nosing around."**

" **Of course we will, sweetheart," Jamie replied trying again to catch Eddie now that she slowed down to listen to Linda.**

 **Jamie finally achieved his goal and pulled Eddie into his arms surrounding her with his body. "Baby, I am begging you now, please stop this upset. It's not good for you to get so worked up."**

" **I don't want him exposed to it, Jamie. I don't want you or the children exposed to it…to that…"**

 **Jamie felt his wife shaking in his arms. How could he do that to her? How could he send for his sister when his wife was so scared of what that might bring up on their family? They were making progress in their marriage after a very difficult patch in which Eddie had felt he betrayed her. Could he risk that again?**

" **I know you don't, Eddie. I understand, but Dad asked for her. He asked for her point blank and I don't think he'll relax enough to let his body heal all the way until he sees all three of his living children in the same place. He's not able to comprehend right now, honey. He can't understand that it's better she not be here because of the press and because of impending charges. I know you want what is best, I will have the best security detail the NYPD has plus added support from Jack and Joey."**

 **Joey had promised his mother that he would not allow the press to get near his aunt, father, or grandfather and if anyone did, he'd see to it that the problem was rapidly corrected. With Jamie's physical reassurance and Joey's calm promises, Eddie finally relented and sagged exhausted into Jamie's arms. Joey smiled at the look on his father's face. His father had been only too happy to hold his mother in his arms and absorb some of her fear and worry with his body. Jamie understood that panic had come from an intense feeling of love and protection for both Frank and himself. Eddie, at one time, could have been involved in the act of protecting her family from those that would kill it just to watch it die, now her health had taken that, all she had left was her voice and heart wrenching pleas that someone listen.**

Joey pulled his car up to Nikki's Boston home and parked. Taking a deep breath he got out of the car wishing he had Molly by his side to keep things calmed down. She had a great influence on him and soothing his temper, an influence he was sure he'd need dealing with his aunt and cousin.

Joey rang the bell and waited until Erin came to the door. She greeted him with a smile, "Hey, Joey, what brings you up here?" Erin stepped out and gave her nephew a hug.

"Dad sent me," Joey replied. "Can I come in, it's colder in Boston than it is in New York, it's still kind of Indian summer there."

"Sure, come on in," Erin said stepping back. "Nikki left for work already, I hope that you're just up here on pleasure."

Erin began making coffee while Joey sat in the kitchen ill at ease, "Actually, Aunt Erin, uh, how quickly can you pack a bag and come back to Brooklyn with me?"

"Aunt Erin no it has nothing to do with the case. It's Grandpa." Joe paused before adding "He's in the hospital."

Erin froze still holding onto the cup she'd intended on pouring her coffee in. Slowly she put the cup the cup down and turned around. "What did you say?"

"Grandpa he's in the hospital and asked to see you." Joe immediately saw the pained look in her eye with worry for her father.

Erin had to hold onto the counter for support. "Is he okay? What happened?"

Joe stood up and took Erin's arm leading her to a seat, "It's his COPD. Somehow, he got the gauge on his oxygen turned up and his lungs sort of froze. He was in a coma for three days and he's awake now but he's really agitated and scattered."

"Wait a minute," Erin said firmly, in spite of her body shaking. "My father was in a coma for three days and no one called me?"

Joey sighed, "Uncle Danny thought it was better not to bring more stress and focus on the family and eventually Dad agreed but now Grandpa is asking for you and we all would like it if you came back with me to Brooklyn to see him. Sean thinks seeing you will be part of what he needs to get better."

"Of course I'll come," Erin said already heading to her room to pack. "Did they say that it's…bad?"

"It was, but he's doing much better. The doctors think he's going to pull through," Joey replied. "Now, housekeeping things, uh, Jack and I will be overseeing security. My Mom is concerned that the press will swarm you and bring stress on Grandpa."

"I won't do anything to endanger my father, in fact, I'll pack him up and bring him home," Erin began.

"No," Joey replied. "No, his doctors and his home are in Brooklyn. Let's get ready so maybe we make it in time for his dinner. My Dad and Danny can't leave his side, he won't let them go."

Erin brushed tears out of her eyes, packed a bag for a week and left Nikki a note. "I'm ready, grab some coffee and a piece of crumb cake."

Erin got in the car and they turned toward 95 south. "How's the wedding plans coming?" Erin asked trying to make small talk.

"Good, it's good. April isn't so far off. Molly is wonderful, she's just lost a patient so…"

"That's hard, it is a special person that can do what she does. How is uh…How's your Mom?"

"That's took you some doing to ask didn't it?" Joey replied. "Mom is okay, she's doing well since the hospital, she's lost a little weight, but this thing with grandpa really got her shaken. IN face, everyone's on edge with grandpa so sick and the last thing we need is putting stress on anyone." Joe fixed Erin with a firm glare.

Erin looked at her nephew with confusion in her eyes. "What are you getting at Joe?"

"My Mom is sensitive about how she looks and he's really sensitive about my Dad. With Grandpa being sick she's stressed enough so unless you're going to make a nice comment don't say anything."

"Joey, I would never say or do anything to upset your Mom intentionally," Erin said quickly. "We buried the hatchet more or less, I won't criticize I promise!"

"Thank you, and Aunt Erin, if Nikki comes to see grandpa, keep a hand over her mouth or I think I'm going to have to pull Lila off of her by the hair," Joey replied. "She is really angry at Nikki for some comments about Mom's weight and she's super nesting right now."

"I will do my best," Erin sighed knowing that Nikki's out spoke nature had damaged her relationship with her younger brother, sister-in-law, and father. "She has her own mind."

"So do I, Aunt Erin," Joey said flatly. "But if I behaved that way even at my age now Dad would put me over his knee."

Erin nodded, vowing to make this trip to visit her father calm and as pleasant as it could be for everyone involved.

"Mom?" Lila pushed open her parents' bedroom door. "Mom, are you up?"

Jamie had insisted Eddie go home and get some rest in their bed the night before after she'd gotten so upset. "Mommy?"

Lila nudged her still sleeping mother until she groaned. "Yeah, what's wrong? What is it?

"Nothing, Mom, it's after ten and we told Dad we'd have you do at the hospital by 11:30," Lila said softly. "Are you okay?"

Eddie wanted to say okay but instead she burst into tear, "No…"

Lila was shocked, she knew her mom was feeling some extra emotion lately, but this was a surprise even for her. "Oh Mom," Lila slid closer to Eddie and opened her arms. "Come on…talk to me."

Lila stroked Eddie's hair and held onto her. "It's okay, Mom. It's okay, everything's okay."

Eddie didn't feel like that at all. "I'm so scared for your father," Eddie finally confessed. "I can't help him anymore. I can't do what he needs, I can't be that person for him. Erin is going to see what a failure I am and she's going to convince him…"

"No," Lila soothed. "No, Mom, she's not. Aunt Erin is here to see grandpa and maybe she can help a little bit when he comes home, she's not going to criticize you about Dad, you take great care of Dad. It's you that you don't take care of very well. Did you eat any dinner? I didn't see any dirty plates."

"I cleaned them," Eddie lied wiping her eyes. "I…"

Eddie slid her legs over the edge of the bed and fought to stand. She felt the floor rush up at her. "Maybe I didn't, I don't remember."

Lila nodded, "Mom are you doing this on purpose? Missing meals on purpose?"

Eddie sighed, "No, I just…"

Finn began to cry saving his grandma from a very uncomfortable moment. Still, Lila was concerned about her mother. "Why don't you feed the twins and I'll cook us up some egg whites and turkey bacon and toast. Rest in bed with the twins until it's ready then I'll help you down." Lila was so firm in her stance Eddie had no real choice but to agree.

 **A/N: Once again, thanks to a dear friend of mine who shared her family's story with me so I could share it with you and bring a spotlight on COPD and what it can do for all the family's. Thank you also to Lawslave and Yanks302021 for constant support and assistance when this story stalls.**

 **Next Update – September 30** **th** **– Eddie prepares to see Erin for the first time in a while, Jamie catches Eddie during a questionable behavior.**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Eight

"Are you sure that you don't want to come to the hospital?" Lila asked after having forced Eddie to eat one egg white and two pieces of turkey bacon. "Maybe you'll feel better getting up and out."

"No, having me around with Aunt Erin will make stress for Dad and Grandpa and they don't' need it. Joey will be there with her by one or two that latest."

"All right, Mom," Lila sighed. "Thanks for watching Finn then. He seems like he's getting a bit of a sniffle. Reagan and I will take good care of Dad and if you want to come he'll send a car. Take care, all right, don't overdo it, if you get tired, call for me and I'll come back. I'll pick up meat and sides for dinner, I'll get those rolls you like…"

"No," Eddie said quickly. "No, don't trouble yourself with that, uh…" If she ate those rolls she's gain so much…

"I"ll pick up just two for you to have incase you keep feeling so sick that you can't eat," Lila said gently. "There are four bottles for Finn and he's got plenty of diapers." Lila put her arms around Eddie, "I love you, Mommy."

Lila left Eddie with Finn who slept soundly in the swing Eddie kept there for the twins. While Lila drove to the hospital she thought about what she was seeing with her mother. She would make it a point to bring this up with Jamie.

Lila found her father waiting outside Frank's room while he was having a treatment. He was relaxing a little with how far he would let Danny and Jamie go but was still fighting doctors and nurses. His wrists were bruised from where he had to be restrained, the blood thinners making the markings worse.

"Hey, look, it's grandpa!" Lila held Reagan out for Jamie.

"Hey, Kitten, Mom parking the car?" Jamie asked.

"No, Mom's not coming, she's at home," Lila told Jamie. "She almost fainted this morning and I had to force breakfast down her."

Jamie sighed, "She's been doing that. Dr. Gupta keeps altering her kidney meds. The goal is to keep Mom off dialysis for as long as possible, because once she goes on that, Kitten, everything changes. Our lives change and Mom isn't wanting that."

Lila nodded, "Dad, I'm really worried about her. She's not herself at all. I woke her up after ten, which okay sometimes she needs that sleep, and she was crying. She is scared of Aunt Erin coming. Dad, please don't do anything to upset her and make Mom feel badly. Please."

"Of course I won't Kitten, I don't want to see Mom upset. I promise it'll go smoothly, Aunt Erin is coming for grandpa." 

Lila eyed her father but nodded quietly. "I know your worried Kitten, I am too." Jamie didn't want to admit how scared he was knowing Eddie was not taking care of herself and the stress of his sister's situation causing Eddie stress. "I'll keep things in line, I promise." Jamie put a kiss on Lila's head.

An hour later, Jamie was bent over Reagan changing her dirty diaper while Lila visited with Frank. "Here you go little girl, all clean," Jamie cooed picking her up and snuggled her.

"Well, if it isn't my little brother the doting grandpa," Erin said as she greeted Jamie. "Oh my goodness, look how big you are…" Erin took the baby girl from Jamie. "And how dare you two not call me when Dad went in the hospital almost dead?!" 

"I was trying to protect you," Jamie replied. "She doesn't like shrill voices, it scares her, speak softly."

"She's too young," Erin sighed and picked the baby up to sit her on her shoulder. Reagan moved her little legs back and forth and tried to turn her body to find Jamie. Jamie moved around so he baby could see him and he could see if she screwed up her little face for a cry.

"She's advanced," Jamie assured his sister and touched Reagan's head so she felt that she was safe with her grandpa. It didn't seem to help, Reagan began to fuss anyway.

Lila heard her baby's cry and came out, "Hey, Aunt Erin. Oh, do you have a dirty diaper?"

"I just changed her," Jamie explained as Lila took Reagan back from her aunt. "She just got scared a little bit, she's okay."

Lila held her daughter, "I wonder if your brother is giving Grandma problems?"

"You left Finn with Eddie?" Erin asked. "Why isn't Eddie here?"

"Finn's sniffling so I didn't' want him here to get exposed to more germs or to give Grandpa a germ," Lila replied. 'He's good with Mom, she's wonderful with both of them. These babies love their grandma. You're here to see Grandpa, he's awake now."

Jamie took Erin's arm and led her inside to see her father. He was still struggling to breath and holding onto whomever was at his side. Sean and Dr. Burg felt that Erin's presence would help him settle down.

"Hey, Dad," Erin smiled softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Erin," Frank smiled. "My pretty little girl…"

"I'm here, Dad," Erin sighed stroking Frank's hair. "I'm here, I'm sorry I wasn't here before."

Frank softly smiled and shut his eyes, his grip on Danny and Erin's hands relaxing more than it had since he'd been admitted. Frank had required all of his living children and their spouses to be in and out of his hospital room to begin his recovery.

At the house Eddie had finished an aerobics tapes and now sat on the floor with baby Finn lying on her chest, his tummy to her own. She remembered doing this with Joey and with Lila, how happy they were.

Jamie had called her several times to convince her to come to the hospital. He wanted the family to be together and try to have lunch with Frank but Eddie had refused. She blamed Finn's cold but Steven was getting off and could easily meet her at the hospital to retrieve his son. While Frank slept, Jamie took his car back to the house. He found Eddie, lying on the floor with the baby boy in her arms.

"Eddie!" Jamie skidded to a stop and nearly fell trying to slow down. "Are you okay?"

"Jamie, what are you doing home?" Eddie asked as she continued to wiggle on her back letting Finn coo and try to catch her face and nose.

"I came home to get you," Jamie replied. "I had to see for myself you were okay. You sounded winded."

"I'm fine," Eddie laughed. "I'm playing with him. Come down and play too."

Jamie slowly came down to the floor unable to hold back a smile at the happy infant smiling at the amusement his grandma was providing. Jamie leaned in to kiss his grandson's cheek making Finn burst into laughter.

"He likes this," Eddie told him smiling giving the infant some time.

"Yeah he does. Eddie being on the floor…" Jamie began choosing his words carefully. "It isn't good to be on the floor like this for too long.." Jamie paused not wanting to outright ask her but knowing it had to be said with the conversation he had with Lila before.

Distracted by the game, Eddie adjusted Finn on her chest moving again to start a new round. "I'm fine Jamie I haven't been like this long, besides if you look it up being on the floor is actually really good for your back. Think you need to do some more research."

Jamie sighed seeing no other alternative as his other option was shot down. "Eddie, have you eaten?"

"Yes, Lila prepared a nice breakfast and watched me eat it," Eddie replied. "These new pills just hurt my appetite."

Jamie sighed, "I know they do but I need you to try to eat a little bit better for the kids' sake, it freaks them out when they see you not eating. They are used to you cleaning your plate."

Eddie nodded "I'll try. Why aren't you at the hospital with Erin and Dad?"

"The family is not complete without you," Jamie replied. "Come, let's drop this boy off with his Daddy so he doesn't pass he sniffles and go see Dad. I know Lila would love to see you coming in, she's worried about you."

"I would just rather stay here," Eddie sighed. "I'm going to have Erin here for weeks and I just want some peace but I understand you can't stay with me."

Jamie slid over and put his arms around Eddie's shoulders. "At least let's have a sandwich together. I can feed Finn his bottle, he's starting to do that thing with his mouth."

Eddie agreed and laid Finn on the floor so that she and Jamie could get up. Eddie felt so tired it was nearly impossible to get off the floor but with Jamie helping it went okay. Both grandparents got off their floor and Eddie lifted Finn to hand to Jamie. "Sit with him, he's been squirmy if we aren't playing and I'm just worried for your hand."

Jamie sat with the boy and sure enough he was wiggling about. "Fin, you got to give Grandpa a little break." Finn screwed up his face and let out a strong wail.

"Grandma's getting it, baby boy. Grandma's getting your bottle..."

Eddie hurried in with Finn's bottle letting Jamie feed him.

"Wow he's really going to town on this huh"? Jamie laughed seeing Finn suckling.

"He's gotten so much better going on the bottle yeah," Eddie smiled. "Jamie, I was thinking, when Dad is better but before Erin goes home, what about a trip to the Poconos just us?"

Jamie beamed, "Yes, we need time away for Mom and Dad. How about when Joey takes his honeymoon, we take a second honeymoon."

Eddie smiled, "Sounds good…second honeymoon will be just perfect."

Finn spit the bottle out an Jamie moved the boy for a burp, "Eddie, do you want to burp him so I can make us some lunch?"

"No, I'll make the lunch, you spend more time with him."

Eddie made turkey and Swiss sandwiches and pretzels with lemonade. Jamie laid the baby in the baby chair while they ate happy to see his wife attacking the sandwich. "Turkey was always one of your favorites," Jamie smiled. "Are you sure you don't…"

"Jamie, my legs are really achy and I just want to have some time with my grandson, then when he naps clean up so Erin doesn't have something to say. That's bothering me, Jamie. It's really bothering me."

Jamie reached across the table, kissed Eddie's hand. "It's not going to be bad, honey. It's not going to be bad and I'll be here as much as I can."

"I know. Jamie…"

Jamie sighed and stood up going to hold Eddie. "Do you want me to make her stay at a hotel? You have been going through so much physically and emotionally. I have not done a good job of being the husband you need me to be right now. I am sorry, I haven't said that in this way and it's true. I am sorry, Eddie. I am so sorry."

Eddie stood up and laid her head on Jamie's chest, "You have no idea how much it means for you o just say and understand. Thank you."

Jamie ran his hands up and down Eddie's back. "You are welcome, baby," Jamie whispered. "I have to get back to the hospital, Dr. Burg was going to do some tests and see if his capacity was damaged much by the freeze. I want to be there to speak to him. I'll be back later on with Erin, Lila said she's handling our dinner. Finn is napping now, please rest. I need that, Eddie. I need that."

Eddie smiled, "I'll just vaccum really quick."

Jamie laughed, his Eddie would never change. Thank God.

 **A/N: Sorry for the late update, I was very busy today and thanking God I feel well enough to be so busy. Thanks to all for good vibes and well wishes.**

 **Next Update – October 3** **rd** **– Erin sees Eddie for the first time in a long time. Jamie and Erin talk about her legal issues.**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

Lila parked the car in the driveway containing Erin, Jamie, and baby Reagan. While Lila unloaded her baby girl, Jamie pulled his sister to the side.

Jamie had paced across the hospital floor for a half hour before leaving, trying to figure out how he would talk to Erin about Eddie. He loved his sister but was in love with Eddie and knew he had to keep his promise to his wife.

"Jamie, what's going on?" Jamie sighed, he wasn't read for this but he had no choice.

"Erin, we have to talk," Jamie sighed. With a sweep of about four steps making it seem like he skipped across the driveway, Jamie reached Erin, pulling her against the house. "You are my sister and I love you but you need to back off Eddie when you go in there."

"What are you talking about Jamie? I've barely spoken to Eddie in months and I haven't even seen her…"

Jamie sighed, he'd prepared himself for this. "I know, but anytime you do talk to her or Nikki talks to her, she ends up in tears or hating herself. I cannot see her hurting Erin, so I'm warning you now do not say anything that will upset her! You will not hurt Eddie this time, I won't allow it."

Erin slowly nodded, she wasn't used to her younger brother being so assertive even if he was the NYPD commissioner and sixty-two years old. "All right, Jamie I'll be careful. She's still struggling then?"

"Yes, she's struggling," Jamie replied. "Since Nikki commented about her weight, she's obsessing with it and it's going to stop. I am putting stop to it and so are you."

Lila was the first one to walk into the house once she saw Jamie and Erin's powwow break up. "Hello," Lila called as she entered the house with Jamie, Erin, and Reagan with her. "Mom?"

Eddie came into the kitchen in an ankle length pale blue dress with a V-neck the set off the two features she was still proud of, her hair and her reconstructed breasts. The folds of the skirt hid the weight gain. She was smiled and walked over to Erin, "Hey, good to see you."

Erin offered a smile in return, "Good to see you too, you look very nice. That dress is lovely."

"Thanks," Eddie replied. "Lila, Finn just had a nap and he's ready to eat but I wasn't sure if you wanted me to feed him a bottle again or try to nurse him."

"I'm going to nurse him, how's his sniffles?" Lila asked heading to get her son.

"He's doing well, I took him in the shower with me for a bit and it cleared out his breathing really well," Eddie replied taking Reagan from her baby chair. "Hello, pretty girl. Did you see great grandpa today?"

"She did, it really did dad a lot of good," Erin replied. "Reagan is a good baby but she…has the Reagan temper."

Jamie smiled, 'Yes she does." Jamie sat down on the kitchen chair and leaned over to massage his bad leg.

"Your brace bothering you?" Eddie asked. "IF you want we can have supper in the living room, you can put your leg up."

Jamie nodded, "It swelled up again in the brace." Jamie removed the offending brace before getting out of the kitchen chair.

"Jamie, don't do that," Erin jumped in. "You'll fall."

Jamie stood up and concentrated on his leg. He picked it up from his hip and planted his foot on the ground to keep his balance. As soon as he was out earshot, "You let him just walk without his brace and cane? He'll fall."

"He might fall," Eddie replied. "But he usually doesn't fall and when Jamie does fall, he gets back up. He's come a long way and he's proud of it. I'm proud of him. My husband was in pain, the brace hurts, he's better off now taking careful steps."

Eddie began to set up plates for dinner, "What do you want to eat Erin? I remember you like lo mein?"

"Yes, I'll help you set it up," Erin offered. "Jamie's still having trouble with his leg?"

"Not so much," Eddie replied. "His balance is very good and his range of motion but when he's using the leg a lot it will swell up in the brace and rub on his skin."

"Maybe it's time that you stopped worrying what others think and Jamie retires," Erin suggested.

"Tell your brother that," Eddie replied. "He refused to retire while the family name is in jeopardy and now he won't until they catch the serial rapist. He's sticking to his 50 hours."

Eddie picked up three bowls and headed from the kitchen lining the bowls on coffee table.

Erin followed with the rest of the bowls and Lila got the plates and tray tables. Jamie had put his leg up and looked a little bit relaxed.

Eddie served the food to Jamie, fussing over him more than she usually did. She set up her own plate, two dumplings, three pieces of sesame chicken and two spoonfuls of rice. She has a bottle of lemon water. Lila looked at the plate. Lila was so occupied with her mother's dinner she did not load up her own dish.

Jamie looked across the table at Lila noticing it was empty. "What's wrong Lila, not hungry?"

"I'm fine, really" Lila insisted reaching for a container for good show, watched carefully by her father. Jamie had his eye trained on his wife's dish too, but he's take that up with her later.

"I still can't get over how big the twins got Lila," Erin gushed after taking a bit of white rice.

Jamie smiled proud of how far Lila and Steven had come with handling the twins. "They have grown so fast. Eddie and I have been helping less not that Lila and Steve have gotten better at handling them."

"Twins can be a handful," Erin replied. "I can only assume, I only had one, Nikki only had one…"

"Lila is a good mother," Eddie said with a little bit of force. She tried to eat the food she put on her plate but felt like it was stuck in the back of her throat.

"Yes, and a good daughter," Erin replied smiling at her godchild. "When we're done can I hold Finn, I haven't had him yet since I got back."

Lila nodded and kept an eye on her Mom. Eddie ate everything on her plate and took a few more pieces of chicken. Lila was satisfied with that and then began to eat more of her own dinner.

"How long as you going to stay, Aunt Erin?" Lila asked.

"At least until Dad is better and home again," Erin replied. "The rest is up to Jamie. I left because he asked me to leave."

Jamie took a breath, "Erin, there was no way I could do what I needed to do with the press trying to crucify this family. Dad, would not have survived those attacks on you. He takes it all too personally now, that armor he has is gone."

"I'm not saying you were wrong Jamie," Erin replied. 

Eddie got her back up again, "He wasn't wrong! You did something hair brained and ill-considered and my husband is paying the price for that!"

Jamie looked over at his wife, "Honey, it's okay. Erin's not saying anything bad, sweetheart."

Eddie felt like she was about to suffocate. She pushed her plate aside, took Reagan and Finn's carriers and hurried up to the bedroom locking the door.

Setting the carriers down on the bed Eddie sat in front of them smiling sadly at her grandbabies. Reagan responded by cooing back and smiling, kicking her tiny leg. Finn sneezed and wiggled his little head. Eddie wasn't sure why she felt like she had to protect her grandchildren, but she did.

"Mom, are you okay?" Eddie wiped a hand over her eyes pushing the tears away.

"Fine Lila, just need time..." Eddie held her breath listening to Lila's footsteps disappear. When she heard the second step creak she began to cry. Eddie put her face down into the babies, inhaling their little scent, trying to gather herself. She let out one good sob before she heard Jamie's telltale step approaching. He tried the knob, "Eddie, open this door now."

"I'm okay, Jamie, I just…I'm sorry," Eddie murmured. "I'll be right now, the babies were getting a chill and…"

"I'm not kidding, Eddie. Open this door." Jamie pushed his weight against the door causing Finn to startled and cry out.

Eddie got up and opened the door a crack, "You're scaring Finn."

"You're scaring me," Jamie replied. "What was that? Let me in, baby."

Eddie shook her head, "No, I have to comfort Finn, then I'll be down. I just had a moment…"

Jamie nodded and let it be, he knew when to push and when to pull back.

Jamie sank into the recliner, "Finn's crying but Mom's got him," Jamie told her.

"What just happened?" Erin asked. "I didn't think I said anything wrong."

"No," Jamie replied. "Eddie has been very sensitive since she started the new kidney medication and more so since when she has surgery and I left the hospital to talk to one of the trafficking victims. I broke a promise to her and I broke her heart in the process and we've been battling Erin. She's taken so much on herself and she's stuck in this place. Lila and I are trying to free her from that pain. This is a manifestation of that and the not eating is another."

"I had no idea she was having such a hard time," Erin sighed. "I'm so sorry Jamie and if those comments from Nikki contributed to this at all I'm sorry."

Jamie sighed, "Unfortunately, Erin, sorry isn't going to heal my wife's pain and it sure isn't going to fix the mess that you created with these donations. Do you know that I have dug and dug into this thing and I cannot clear you? I can't find evidence that links you but there's nothing that says objectively the Erin Reagan did not have the first damn clue that this organization was a front. Not one piece of evidence."

"Jamie, I did not know, you know I didn't know," Erin protested.

"I do know that but I can't prove it, I can't arrest you because I have no evidence you did know either. I think this thing is going to just have to die and until it does…Once Dad is settled you need to go back to Nikki's and stay there, we'll see about you coming back for the wedding."

"Jamie, you can't ban me from this family because Eddie doesn't like me," Erin began but found Lila getting her back up.

"This isnt' about Mom, if you are here in this house, Mom can stay with me and Steven or with Joe, this is about grandpa and the strain it will put on him. He nearly died…"

Erin looked down, "I'm sorry, Jamie. I am sorry you are having trouble in your marriage, I'm sorry for so many things."

Jamie stood up and hugged his sister quickly. Eddie was coming back down and he was concerned she's see that was a conspiracy against her. "I'm sorry,' Eddie said quickly. She took Finn and gave him to Erin, a sign for the moment of family peace.

 **A/N: So far so good for Erin and Eddie, at least no one drew first blood. Soon though we'll see it's not necessarily Erin that Eddie has to worry about.**

 **Next Update – October 6** **th** **– Frank comes home.**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

With all three of his children surrounding him for the next several days, Frank's health steadily improved. Finally after three weeks in the hospital Frank was going to be released from the hospital that afternoon.

Joey and Anse were working extra hard during that time and they had finally closed in on Sean's rapist; they were sitting on her house. When she got into her car to go to her doctor's appointment they were going to arrest her.

"I can't believe we worked this case three and a half months and it's ending like this."

"At least it's ending," Joey replied. "This darn thing set me back with my cousins, and I feel like I haven't been paying much attention to Molly. The wedding is in less than three months now."

"Gonna be an old married man," Anse laughed. "All kidding aside, Molly is precious and I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, we're going to have a good time at this wedding too. My Mom and Aunt Linda are making a great party with Rita's Mom. I think Molly misses…There she is…Ready?"

Anse nodded, he had to make the arrest since Joey was Sean's cousin. "Dana Rosen," Anse said with a firm tone of voice. "Detectives Anderson and Reagan, Special Victims Unit. We have a warrant for your arrest, please put your hands on top of your head."

Dana complied but stuttered, "What have I done? I haven't done anything!"

"You are under arrest for the sexual assault of Sean Patrick Reagan, Alan Michael Freizer, Dennis Andrew Mayfield, and Brian Mackenzie. You have the right to remain silent…"

Joey stood back and watched Anse put Dana in the back of the car. They headed back to the precinct where Sean and the other victims that agreed to testify were going to meet them. The entire drive they heard Dana's protests and requests for a lawyer. Anse rolled his eyes as the uniforms from their squad escorted Dana inside.

The next hours were a whirlwind of questions, calls to the DA and PDs office and finally the all-important line up. Sean stood with Joey and Jack at his side. He did not know how hard this would be seeing her again. She had a wig on when she attacked him and colored contacts but the look in her eyes, the cold distant look was the same. "That's the one, number four, that's her," Sean said firmly. Joey looked at his notes. The other men had identified the same woman, they finally got her, after a three month long reign of terror on New York's professional men, Dana Rosen had been apprehended.

"You coming over tonight, Sean?" Joey asked. "Or are you working?"

"Nope, I'm going to Grandpa's homecoming. I can't believe it's over and I heard her lawyer saying to the ADA that they want a deal," Sean replied. "If I can get out of this without having to testify, that would be good."

"It would," Jack agreed. "But you know if you have to do that, if you have to testify we've got you. Me and Joey, we've got you."

Sean nodded, his attack had caused a rift over authority and for a bit he felt his cousin did over step, but in hindsight it brought them closer together. "Did she say anything about the child she's carrying? If she has an idea which one of us…"

"I thought you said that didn't matter to you," Jack reminded his younger brother.

"I know what I said, but now I know it's a possibility I did father a child, I'd like to know if I did and how it is. I'd like to know what's going to happen to it," Sean replied, the healer in him too strong to let go if there was the slightest chance he was going to be a father.

"We don't have that information yet, but likely the baby will go into the system until an application for adoption come through," Jack explained.

"What if the father files for custody?" Sean asked.

"Then the court would consider the best interest of the child, if the father could provide a stable home, Sean…don't go there, not yet, okay?" Jack all but begged his brother.

Sean nodded, "I won't but if that baby is a Reagan, we all know it won't go in the system. We all know it."

Sean walked away and out of the precinct preparing to meet his father and uncle at the hospital to escort Frank home.

"Unfortunately we do know it," Joey said to Jack. "Your Mom would love it though."

"Don't remind me," Jack sighed. "And you know Sean, if he makes up his mind…See you at the house later?"

Joey nodded, "I'm going to get Molly now. See you there."

"Take your time, Dad," Jamie gently prodded as Frank made his way inside. The effort of walking from the car to the house had winded the old man. "You want to lie down or go in the chair?"

"Chair," Frank replied. "I want to see the family. Where are my cuties?"

"Lila will be here in about a half hour with the twins," Jamie replied. "Why don't you have a rest? Erin can you make Dad some tea?"

Erin went to make tea and found Eddie working on a simple crock pot chicken to serve over rice. "Can Dad eat…" Erin began then backed off. Jamie assured her over and over that Eddie knew Frank's diet restrictions and had that handled. The doctor had not spoken negatively about Frank's diet, Erin saved it. "Crackers or is that…"

"No, not crackers, they make him cough so he has bread wedges that I make for him to have with his cheese, he likes the baby bel cheese."

Eddie put the dinner aside and got out two pieces of toast. Erin watch how Eddie made the toast to the perfect consistency for Frank and flavored it. "Thanks, you know I don't say this enough but I appreciate how well you take care of my father."

"He's my father too," Eddie replied with a small smile. "Erin, if you can please ask Nikki not to express any of her…opinions today that would be helpful. I know Jamie's told you I've been having a hard time and I…"

"I'll do what I can," Erin replied. "I did not always reign her in when I should have when she was younger, I wanted her to be expressive but I'll try."

Eddie would take what she could get.

By five that night the entire house was full, every member of the family including spouses and fiancés were present with the exception of Nikki's son. Frank had Reagan or Finn in his arms since they arrived. It was his favorite thing to hold a baby and watch them do their baby things.

Lila was always close to Frank. He smiled at her, "Reagan looks just like you did when you were tiny. We had not had a girl since Nikki was born then you came." Frank pinched the back of Lila's cheek while Nikki watched. She was the only girl, her grandpa's girl until Lila arrived. Now anytime she did come home it was like she didn't' exist, just Lila and the babies.

"Jamie, can you help please?" Eddie asked when it was time to serve. "I got you Aunt Eddie," Sean said quickly letting Jamie stay sitting down.

Eddie, Linda, Erin, and Sean set the table and put of the food Eddie prepared. Jamie and Danny helped Frank to the table while Lila put the twins in their swings and headed to the table to eat.

"Eddie," Frank began. "Would you please say grace?"

Eddie smiled at Frank and bowed her head, "Bless us oh Lord and these thy gives we are about to receive through they bountiful hands and thank you Lord for the healing love that had brought all us together today. Amen."

"Well said, sweetheart," Jamie smiled and kissed Eddie's hand.

"You two are like a Pottery Barn catalog," Nikki laughed rolling her eyes a little. "There's no way you two are still that much in love."

"Don't knock it," Danny warned. "A good match is a good match." He looked at Linda and smiled at her. "If you let us check out the husband instead of eloping you'd have had a better match."

Nikki's husband Collin gave a good natured laugh, he knew when he agreed to elope that he'd never be fully accepted as a Reagan. Nikki shot her uncle a dirty look, "Couple's change, I'm sure there is love, it just changes."

Eddie felt the panic rising up in her belly. Her throat burned and her mouth watered with nausea. She took a long breath and reached under the table toward Sean. He nodded and moved to hold his aunt's hand. He remembered some of their talks when he was recovering, how much she was hurting, it had cost her a lot to share.

Eddie had come over to Sean's apartment to check on the healing ligature marks on his wrists and see if he would open up a little bit. Not only did she share with him her experience with Jake Singer but also some of her own distaste for her body, brought on mostly by Nikki's comments and Jamie's seeming disinterest. Sean had promised to sit beside her at family dinners and hold her hand when Nikki was going to be there. "Just breathe," he whispered as the dinner occurred all around them. "Breathe…"

Eddie took a couple of breaths then began to eat. With Sean there to gently push, she managed to eat all that she took and not feel the urge to throw up. Jamie smiled ear to ear when he saw Eddie's clean plate. "You want some more?" he asked hoping but she shook her head. "Dessert is coming, I want to have a sliver of cake to celebrate."

Jamie let that go and rejoiced in the small victory.

The men cleared while the ladies sat and relaxed in the living room. Finn began to cry, "Aunt Linda, can you feed him a bottle?" Lila asked knowing how much Linda liked to feed and that Reagan would fuss soon. She had two bottles already that day and Lila wanted her to nurse.

Reagan cried only two minutes later, before Lila stood Nikki spoke up, "Who are you going to pass her to? Grandpa again?"

Lila turned to Nikki, "No, for your information, I'm going to nurse her. She's had two bottles today and needs to eat from the breast now! What I do with my children is my business, thank you."

Erin glared at her daughter, "Nikki, we talked about this," she hissed. "Stop."

Nikki held her tongue as the babies ate. Lila again put them in their chairs and went to the table for dessert. While they were eating Finn cried and Jamie went to get him and change his diaper. Reagan cried and Molly rushed to get her and change her diaper. Both babies migrated back to Frank, that was fine by him, it was his favorite past time.

 **A/N: Sorry for the late update. My schedule was a little upside down today but it is still October 6** **th** **. I hope you enjoy.**

 **Next Update – October 9** **th** **– Sunday dinner…not all it's cracked up to be…**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty One

The evening had went fairly well with minimal lip from Nikki. Jamie was so proud of Eddie for clearing her plate at dinner. Once everyone left, they settled in the living room with Frank until it was time for bed. Most of the family, including Nikki was staying in town for another few days. Jamie managed to talk Erin into rooming with her daughter a hotel to take the pressure off Eddie. When Jamie turned in for the night and pulled his wife against him, he thanked God for this family that was his and all the ups and downs that came with them.

When Jamie woke up the following morning Jamie was surprised to see the spot next to him not only empty but cold. "Eddie," he called, throwing the covers back to stand up and head downstairs.

Stepping down onto the hall floor the aroma of fresh cooked eggs filled Jamie. Smiling he headed into the kitchen finding Eddie standing at the stove while Frank sat down at the kitchen table. It would be the quietest day of the week with most of the other family otherwise engaged. Lila would be over to help with Frank, but otherwise the family would not gather again until the next night, the last night everyone was able to get together due to Joey and Sean's work schedules.

Jamie put his arms around Eddie, "Look at you making a good hearty breakfast, last night you ate your whole plate. Are you feeling better finally?"

"I think so," Eddie began. "I feel better with my stomach anyway." Eddie turned in Jamie's arms and kissed him. Frank cleared his throat, "Old man on the floor."

Eddie laughed, "You love that we still kiss, you told me so!"

"Yes well," Frank laughed. "I'm actually just glad you two aren't fighting so much. It isn't easy to for a father to watch his children fighting and being upset at each other, the only thing that hurts more is watching one of them being upset at herself."

Jamie cuddled Eddie another minute, "Do I see real bacon on the stove?"

"It's low salt bacon, but yes," Eddie replied. "Make yourself useful, make toast."

The day was quiet. Eddie did her light cleaning to have the house acceptable for a family get together. Jamie went to work for half a day then came home for lunch and spent time watching the news with Frank. "What do you want for dinner tomorrow night?"

"That roast with the apricots…the pork roast," Frank replied. "I love that."

"Okay, I'll make it but you can only have a few ounces, you have to watch the salt, okay?"

Frank loved how Eddie made him watch his diet, but didn't make him feel like an old sick man. It hurt his heart that she had been so sick so young, that was how she had this knowledge. It made him feel much more part of his own life, when Eddie would speak like that.

"You bet, I'm just glad I get your wonderful apricot roast," Frank replied. "Jamie, you have a keeper here."

Jamie smiled at Eddie, "I know it. She's the light of my life." Jamie grabbed Eddie's hand and kissed it.

"Why don't you take Eddie out for some pizza tonight, Lila and I can spoil the little ones," Frank replied. "Here, it's on me."

Jamie didn't want to take the money but sometimes Frank really needed to do these things for his kids. Eddie agreed to a pizza date, "I'm going to soak for a bit, you two watch the news, Lila will be here by 5:30."

Jamie and Eddie were heading out while Lila headed in. She had both babies with her. "Steven was going to come but he's going out with Joey, Sean, Sully, and Jack tonight," Lila explained' Reagan opened her eyes, looked around, noticed she was at her grandparents' house and started to kick and squeal. Finn, always more laid back, just cooed. Jamie and Eddie, of course, loved on the twins before heading out.

"Mom and Dad having date night?" Lila asked handing Reagan to her great grandpa.

"They need it, your Dad is making inroad with Mom though," Frank replied. "I'm trying to convince your father to retire. I think that will improve you mom's health by a mile."

Lila nodded, "At least he had a good report at his doctor. You will rest and get a good report then Mom maybe will get one. Things will be fine, I know it."

Frank looked at Lila, he had to admit his favorite, and though he did not ever want anyone to find out that was the case. Frank reached out and patted Lila's leg. "You are doing great, look how content they are. Look how sweet she is sitting with me?"

"She loves to sit with you," Lila replied. "She knows the house and starts to look for you when we get here. Without you, and Mom and Dad, I would have screwed the twins up big time."

Frank smiled, "You don't give yourself enough credit, just like your Mom in that way."

Across town, Jamie and Eddie were sharing a pizza like a couple of kids. Jamie kept sneaking little kisses and touches across the table. "This was a good idea. You ate two slices, great job!"

Eddie blushed, "Jamie, uh, this eating…" Eddie began then.

"Jamie Reagan!" Jamie looked up to see his old girlfriend Dana standing beside him.

"Dana, hello." Jamie stood up and gave her a hug. "Dana, you remember Eddie, she's my wife of thirty years," Jamie replied putting his arm around his wife. "Eddie you remember Dana."

Eddie nodded, "Yes, I do. Lawyer shindig…"

"I'm in town for another one," Dana replied. "You look great. The last time I saw Jamie you were just out of the hospital from your cancer surgery."

Eddie nodded, "That was almost twenty years ago. We're grandparents now, our daughter had twins in September."

Jamie showed Dana pictures of the babies over which she ooed and ahhed as expected. When she left, Jamie smiled at Eddie. "I love showing off our family."

Eddie forced a smile, "It's getting late, we need to be going for your Dad."

Jamie admitted Eddie was right though he did not want this night to end. As the headed home in the SUV driven by Jamie's detail, he asked, "You were about to tell me something when Dana came over…"

Eddie shook her head, "It's nothing now. Everything is okay." Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest and shut her eyes hoping things would stay okay.

Eddie got her wish, things were perfect that night and through the next day. The family once again gathered for dinner, the conversation flowed easily and light hearted. Frank requested Danny say grace and though he made a face he did as he was asked.

Bowls were passed once the food was blessed and new conversations began.

"So, I meant to ask you, a buddy of mine has extra tickets to the Rangers game. You guys want to go?" Danny looked at his boys then Jamie.

Jack stabbed his fork in the meat to place it on his plate. "Yeah, I don't think I'm working. They're playing New Jersey right?"

Before Danny could answer Finn screwed up his little face dribbling on his bib. Laughing Jamie lifted his grandson out onto his lap. "See even he knows."

"You into hockey Steve?" Danny questioned, noticing the exchange between Lila and Steve.

"No, don't tell me…" Joey groaned. "A smoke eater and a Devils fan?"

Steve grinned slyly, looking between Eddie and Jamie. "I'm not answering until I have a lawyer."

"It's all right, Steven," Nikki piped up. "Aunt Eddie is a Giants fan and they accepted it. Just don't cheer too loudly if the Rangers lose."

Steven nodded at his cousin-in-law, he knew there wasn't much love lost between her and his wife. He would tread carefully.

Reagan began to fuss, Molly plucked her up before Lila could react. The baby kept crying looking over at her favorite person at the entire table. "No, no," Lila soothed. "Great grandpa is eating his dinner now." Lila tried to entertain the infant but she wanted what she wanted. Frank hurried to finish then took the crying girl.

Eddie saw the look on Nikki's face that did not go over well with Nikki or for that matter, Linda or herself. Lila should have soothed her own baby, but on the other hand, Frank did so love his cuddles and snuggles. Pretty soon the twins would be mobile and those days would be over for him. Might as well let him enjoy it now.

Frank held Reagan the rest of the meal and Jamie occupied himself with Finn. Eddie's roast went quickly as did Linda's mint blondies that she served for dessert. The men and older women went to relax in the living room after the meal while the younger ladies headed to the kitchen to finish cleaning up dessert. Lila was washing dishes when Nikki came up behind her, "You have it made with those twins, you hardly have to do a thing for them."

Molly knew she better break this up before it got too crazy, "It takes a village and all that and I was told by yer uncle I'm expected to bring many babies to the family so I'm practicing so I don't screw up me own."

"It's nice of you to defend her Molly," Nikki replied. "But she's got my grandpa, who is dying caring for her babies, it's ridiculous and it's lazy…"

Unfortunately for Nikki, Eddie was standing directly behind her and her mother's claws had become unsheathed. "Get out of this room now," Eddie said firmly. "Get out of this room, go sit in the living room with your grandpa and keep your mouth shut. I will not order you to leave my home because I love Frank too much to see him hurt that way, but remove yourself from my sight…"

"Eddie," Erin said gently having heard her daughter's words. "Nikki was just upset that…"

Eddie turned on Erin, "I have tried to be nice, I have tried to do everything perfect so that this wouldn't happen but how dare anyone criticize how my daughter is as a mother, leastwise two women who failed at it miserably. Your daughter still hasn't learned any manners and we all know why Nikki's son doesn't come to family events, but none of us throws it in her face. I won't start now."

"I'm so sorry, Eddie," Erin hurried to apologize but it was too late. Eddie was simmering all evening from some of Nikki's jabs and it was about to blow over. Lila nudged Molly, the closest person to her, "Get my Dad or Joey now." Lila would try, but she knew when Eddie melted down like she was about to do only her father or brother had the ability to help calm her down again.

Molly rushed from the room hurrying to find Joe or Jamie without letting everyone else know what was happening. She knew that Eddie was not going to want more of an audience. Molly found Jamie and Joey standing in the sunroom having a discussion no one but them was supposed to hear. When they heard Molly's breathless pants though both men spun around.

Joey went over to his fiancée concerned, "Lila asked me to get you, Eddie is in the kitchen, she needs you."

One look at Molly's face told Jamie it had something to do with Nikki and tore out of the room to be by his wife's side.

"I tried intervening Joe, but she heard before I could stop it…" Joe nodded hugging her before following his Dad's trail to the kitchen.

Jamie skidded into the kitchen finding Lila hugging her mother tightly in a desperate attempt to calm her down. Her eyes moved to meet her father's offering a grateful smile. Jamie and Joe were able to reach Eddie like this, she was fighting her own child's grip as Lila desperately tried to hold on.

"I got her, Kitten. Hey baby, ssh, I got you," Jamie soothed quietly, rocking Eddie back and forth. He knew something major had happened by the stricken look on his sister's face. Jamie turn his back to Erin, shielding Eddie from onlookers.

"I…She…" Eddie tried explaining but it came out as incoherent sobs. Jamie nodded brushing small circles over back continuing to rock her, trying to get her to settle down so he could get to the bottom of whatever this was.

Joe came behind his father, took one look at his sobbing mother and shaking sister and decided enough was enough. "Get your stuff and get out," Joe said firmly. "Both of you, get your stuff and get out of this house. If you want to see Grandpa you have to do it at Uncle Danny's house, get out."

"You can't tell us to get out," Nikki snapped. "This isn't any more your house than it is mine. This is grandpa's house."

"Actually," Lila snapped. "It's our father's house, he pays the bills in this house. You have no right to upset my mother like this!"

"Nikki, it's time to go," Erin said firmly. "You have gone too far. I'm sorry Jamie, I'll call you in the morning."

Jamie nodded and gathered Eddie closer, "Come on, let's go upstairs."

Eddie sobbed, "I'm sorry, I ruined it for Dad, I'm sorry Jamie."

"No, ssh, stop it," Jamie soothed and took Eddie up the back stairs so she didn't have to be seen by everyone else.

Lila looked at Joey, "It's my fault, Mom was defending me."

"It's not your fault Nikki's a jealous witch," Joey sighed. "Come on, let's go sit in the living room. I'll help Dad clean up later, Aunt Linda, let's go visit as a family. Mom and Dad will be down soon."

Lila nodded and headed to the living room, almost crawling on her husband's lap. She felt awful for her role in this and vowed not to ask for help with the twins again from that night. Even she knew it was a ridiculous thing to promise, but in the high emotion of the moment she had to do something.

Erin apologize profusely to Joey, Lila, and Frank who only sighed, "It's mostly my fault, I never did reign her in. I hoped the good judgment she showed in her actions would eventually spill over to her mouth. You come around for breakfast and I'll smooth that over with Jamie and Eddie."

Erin hugged her godchild and kissed her father leaving the house with Nikki in tow as she had done from so many dinners like this one, those dinners held happy memories…this one would not go down on that list.

 **A/N: Some of my readers have expressed that Eddie is OOC, and that is true, she is very OOC compared to the Eddie we see on the show. There is a reason for that that will come out in later chapters. This is probably going to be the longest of my stories to date. Thanks for all the support.**

 **Next Update – October 12** **th** **– The aftermath of the rough dinner, Linda speaks to Sean about Eddie.**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty Two

Jamie went upstairs pushing open the bedroom door he and Eddie shared. Jamie gently led Eddie to the edge of their bed. She sank down with her head still lowered. Jamie brought a cool cloth,

"Eddie," Jamie whispered moving to sit beside her reaching around to hug her tightly.

"Ssh, it's okay," Jamie whispered, rocking her back and forth as she used him as a pillow still shaking from anger and the stress of the encounter.

"I tried Jamie, I tried to be nice." Eddie raised her eyes to meet his reflecting sadness that it came to this. Nikki was their family after all.

Jamie held her tighter shaking his head. "No not at all Nikki went too far this time. I know you tried Eddie she has a big mouth. Erin never stopped that when she was a kid."

Eddie sighed and laid her head on Jamie's lap. She was so tired, her body hurt and so did her heart. Jamie would have sat beside his wife all night, combing her hair, letting her calm down but the there was a knock at the door. "It's Linda, can I come in?"

Jamie looked down at Eddie and she nodded sitting up but not moving away.

"Come in please," Jamie replied and waiting for his sister-in-law to come inside.

Linda came in and opened her arms to the younger woman. "Jamie, Lila needs you downstairs and Joey is about to blow a gasket, maybe you can talk to them and give me some time with Eddie."

Jamie looked at Eddie again not getting up before she gave him a nod. "If you need me, I'll be right back up here, okay? Try to calm down, baby."

Eddie nodded and waited for Jamie to leave. Linda hugged Eddie tight and rubbed her arms, "Calm down now, it's okay. Joey kicked Nikki and Erin out…you can calm down, put those Mommy's claws away."

Eddie sniffled, "I know I'm acting like a big baby, but she attacked my child, Linda. She verbally attacked my child."

"I know she did," Linda soothed. "And you had every right to attack back. Erin had every right to defend Nikki and she did…I understand all of it. What I don't understand, Eddie is why you let her get to you like this?"

"Because she says what I think," Eddie replied. "She says I'm a fat ugly blob and I am. She says Lila is way too dependent on others for her babies and she is. She says that I don't take good care of Frank and Jamie and I don't…the truth hurts."

Linda sighed, "Eddie, none of that is true. None of it. Should a woman your age and your body style weight what you weigh? No, you are over but you are on three medications that make you retain weight. It is not your fault and it does not make you ugly or anything but a little thicker around the center. That is all. It does change how Jamie sees you or the rest of us, so stop that now," Linda told Eddie firmly. "Stop it, okay?"

Eddie sighed. "I try so hard to lose, I do."

"I know you do, but you really can't lose all of it because of the meds and not taking them, that is a disservice to Jamie and Frank and everybody that loves you. Now, Lila…" Linda took a breath. "You know I am saying this from the same mother's heart that you spoke to me from about my Sean. I have my son because you had the courage to tell me when I was making a mistake. Lila is too dependent on you and Jamie for intervening with the twins, but at a family get together that should be her break, where we all can step in and help."

"I know," Eddie replied. "I do know and I have tough loved her a little bit, like when Reagan got sick from her vaccine. I see her struggle and it's okay, she has to learn but when she's not going fast enough and they are hurting, I feel like I have to step in. I know that's a mistake but it's my mistake."

"She's upset that Frank handles the babies so much," Linda revealed. "I think in her own way Nikki is concerned that doing that is bad for him."

Eddie straightened, "Linda, I do not allow Lila to pawn those babies off on Frank. He wants them, he asks us to have Lila bring them here. He knows that when they start to walk he can't keep up, he knows he probably won't see another great grandchild and he wants his time, I won't deny him that for Nikki or anyone else."

Linda understood that, "Did you try to explain that to her?"

"No," Eddie replied firmly. "There's not explaining to her cause she never gives you the chance. I'm sure my Joey ordered her out of this house and told her not to return. I don't want that either, once Frank is gone she's not welcome here."

Linda nodded again, "In the meantime, I'm going to have some words with Erin, mom to mom and get her to understand she has to reign in Nikki, forty five or sixty five she has to reign her in. Can I do that?"

Eddie nodded, "Yes, I don't want any rift between Jamie and his sister. I don't want more pain for Jamie, for Frank…I don't. I just…I have told Jamie I would leave that he could have peace that he could…"

"Stop talking nonsense, you know he loves you and wants nothing more than to have you feel good about yourself again. Now you put your feet up, get a little rest I'll finish up downstairs."

Linda stretched Eddie back against the pillow, "Close your eyes, I'll send Jamie back up in a little while."

It hurt Linda's heart to see a woman ten years her junior struggle so much with her health. Cancer was a harsh disease, it affected the entire family and even if you survived it, it had you for the rest of your life.

"How is she, Mom?" Sean asked when Linda came down.

"She's okay, she put her feet up and she's resting. Sean, I think perhaps the next appointment your aunt has with her oncologist and specialist that you accompany her and Uncle Jamie, the balance of her meds is not right, I can tell it's not. Perhaps you can explain more objectively and get her on a regimen that works and doesn't destroy her essence."

"Sure thing," Sean replied. His aunt had helped him a lot during his recovery process. "Grandpa is working a little hard on his breathing, this whole thing really got him upset."

Jamie and Danny were each sitting beside Frank who was leaned forward trying to regulate shaky breathing. "It's all right Dad, I'll talk to Joe and to Eddie. They're just upset, we'll all upset."

"I don't like seeing my girls upset," Frank said. "I don't like them fighting and making each other cry. I don't understand why Nikki has to do this, why she has to say things just because she thinks them."

"None of us understand that Dad," Danny soothed. "She's a little jealous of Lila I think and how much time…"

"She moved away!" Frank exploded. "She turned her back on this family, on this family name!" Frank began to cough hard.

"Grandpa…" Sean stepped in and put he oxygen on Frank himself. "My Mom is going to take care of it. Mom is going to talk to Aunt Erin tomorrow. Aunt Eddie is fine and resting upstairs."

The assurance and the oxygen settled Frank down enough so Jamie and Danny could put him to bed. Sean promised to stay over and keep an eye on his grandfather. Slowly everyone cleared out leaving just Frank, Jamie, Eddie, and the self-imposed monitor Sean.

Jamie tiredly climbed the stairs and opened the door. Eddie was still awake on her side. Jamie smiled at her, "You used to do this when you were pregnant with Lila and someone got under your skin. You'd curl all up cute like you are now and when I would finish dealing with whatever cause it I would come crawl on the bed." Jamie began to crawl on their bed like he used to do. "And I would pull you close and promise you everything was going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay, sweetheart. Linda is going to talk to Erin, you and I if we have to build a wall around this place, we'll build it. You are my world, Eddie. You are my world."

Eddie turned over in Jamie's arms, "You're mine. I'm sorry that I keep messing things up for you and your family. I don't have to come down for dinner, I can stay up here."

"Eddie, I don't want you to hide, baby. I don't want you to feel like this. Let's see what Linda can do all right?" Jamie brushed Eddie's hair back. "You want a cup of tea? Did you lose your supper?"

Eddie had but she lied, more out, more off, was her motto. "A cup of tea sounds really nice but I'll make it. You don't need to be up and down the steps. I'll make us both some."

Eddie used the back way to avoid seeing anyone. In a couple of days she's have a talk with Lila about being a more hands on mom. She didn't have the energy for that just now. Over a cup of tea, Eddie discussed this with Jamie.

"I thought we had a handle on it, she was doing a lot more on her own, Steven was doing more even with Finn, but it's still an issue if Linda is speaking to it."

Jamie sighed, "We did fix it, and I'm not sure it's Lila so much asking as it is us wanting. We have the right to be whatever kind of grandparents we want to be. I'm not going to change how often I help our daughter, I think we are doing just fine."

Eddie sighed, taking a small sip of her tea before speaking again. "I understand Jamie, really I do and yes I want to help Lila but I see Linda's point too."

Jamie on the other hand didn't. "All my life we were told family comes first, to always be there for each other and that's what we're doing for Lila."

"I know Jamie, but she does need to learn how to handle her kids too. There's helping then there's doing everything." Eddie looked over to him seeing his eyes watching the cup of tea.

"So you're suggesting we don't help Lila at all? She's our daughter Eddie!" Jamie couldn't imagine Eddie would think like that.

Sighing, Eddie moved closer to Jamie careful her tea didn't spill. "I know she's our daughter, and no we can help just don't jump every time the babies cry to let them try."

Jamie nodded, "We'll give it a try, but they are doing better, Sweetie. They are."

Eddie agreed the kids were, "I need things okay here, Jamie. I need things calm and okay."

Jamie sighed and took the tea cup from Eddie before wrapping her up in his arms holding her tight. "Things will be okay, Eddie. We'll get it all settled down, I promise."

Eddie kissed Jamie's cheek, "I supposed I have to trust you. I have for thirty years." Eddie laughed lightly and rubbed his chest. "No reason for me to stop now. I love you so much."

Jamie laid down and pulled Eddie with him, "I love you more."

He meant it.

 **A/N: Not much to say here this time around except thanks so much for your continued interest in this ongoing series.**

 **Next Update – October 15** **th** **– Linda talks with Erin and Nikki about the family stress.**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Usually I put my notes at the end, but I do have some folks that were unsettled about the family dynamics. This particular chapter is character heavy, several members of he family are realizing things are not just one person's fault so while Nikki fans will find the first few pages difficult, Eddie and Erin do speak and Eddie is realizing too that things are off. Okay, off my soap box.**

 **I hope everyone is enjoying this journey. This is my favorite story so far because of all the layers. Please remember all of the stories in the Tough series, are at the very least loosely based on my own experience or the experiences of other cancer patients that have shared their struggles so that I could bring some light to their particular experience. The next run of five or six chapters will be rough, but on the other side of it is something really beautiful. I hope you all stick around for this roller coaster ride. Fasten your seatbelts!**

Chapter Thirty Three

"I won't apologize, Mom," Nikki insisted. "Since Uncle Jamie got married it has been all about Eddie. He never even listens to another point of view."

"As well it should, she is his wife," Erin reminded her. "That is why I am not with your father, he failed to master that skill."

"It's not just that," Nikki sighed. "Lila has grandpa, who has one foot in the grave as her personal babysitter. I barely get to spend time with him."

Before Erin could answer, Linda knocked on the hotel room door determined to straighten this out once and for all.

"Aunt Linda," Nikki smiled in greeting but the firm look on Linda's face stopped her in her tracks.

"The three of us need to talk," Linda said firmly. "You want to go get some breakfast?"

The three women sat down together at a coffee shop across the way. After placing their orders, Linda cleared her throat. "Erin, Eddie appreciated you speaking up and apologizing to her for Nikki yesterday."

Erin sighed, "It was out of line. We don't have to all agree, Nikki but what Lila does as a mother is her business."

"It's not just how Lila mothers her kids or doesn't. Aunt Eddie has gotten much heavier if that is possible on her frame and that's not making her very useful to Grandpa and Uncle Jamie…"

"Nikki," Linda sighed. "I think it's really mean to criticize your aunt for her weight. It's not like that because Eddie is lazy or over eats or does anything actively to increase her weight. In fact she's cut way back on her portions and still can't get the weight off."

"Aunt Linda, this isn't about that," Nikki replied.

"It really isn't about the weight issue, this time, Lin," Erin spoke up but Linda pushed on.

"Right now I'm addressing that issue because that's the issue that Eddie is hypersensitive to and that gets under your uncles skin," Linda replied. "Nikki, Aunt Eddie is overweight because of her anti-cancer meds and medication to treat renal failure. She can't help it."

Nikki sighed, picking up her glass of water up. "I'm not trying to be mean honest. It really isn't healthy though."

Erin narrowed her eyes across the table to her daughter. Before Erin could speak up her Linda jumped in. "That's what we're talking about Nikki and Eddie may not say it but enough is enough!"

"Aunt Linda…"

"No, you need to put a sock in this and work on helping to keep peace in this family. Jamie and Eddie are going to do their part as well," Linda said firmly. "And if you can be supportive of how Eddie and Jamie are taking care of Frank, you need to address that with him. Frank chooses to be close to Eddie and Jamie for a reason. He likes how he feels around them. He chooses to handle those babies too, and Lila should not and will not restrict his access to them. Everyday might be his last," Linda reminded them both. "He should live it how he sees fit. He should never be able to handle those twins but he has the will power to do it. I think Lila's giving him open access is helping him stay as strong as he is."

"Grandpa is old and sick," Nikki replied. "He doesn't always know…we used to be so close and he never calls me or anything…"

"He feels a little abandoned by you and that you turned your back on the family name. That hurt him so deeply. Lila, Joey, my boys are proud of where they came from, the spent their lives bragging they were part of this family, you spent yours trying to forget. Jamie and Eddie, they admit Lila is way too dependent and Joey is a little too much like Danny…" Linda sighed. "You can't complain about a break between you and Frank when you tried to put it there honey."

Nikki stood up and turned to rush away. Erin looked at Linda, "I had no idea Dad was that hurt by that."

"I don't think he did either," Linda replied softly. "But he does, he's said so to Danny and to Jamie. I think it's better if she apologizes or if she doesn't come around if she can't cope with the dynamics of the family as it is now. I'm sorry Erin."

Erin nodded, agreeing with Linda that if that was best for their father, it had to be.

"How you feeling?" Jamie asked stroking Eddie's arm. "You're swelled a little bit, are you sore?"

"My head hurts," Eddie replied. "Jamie, I really need to talk to you. I…" Eddie took a deep breath. "I think I need help. I think I need to talk to someone about how bad I feel inside all the time but…" Eddie's voice broke.

Jamie wrapped his arms around Eddie into a tight hug comforting her with gentle strokes down her arm. "Of course babe, if it'll help."

"Jamie..." Eddie started, stopping to rest her head against him.

"Ssh its okay. I want to help you anyway I can. If you need me to come I will." Jamie brushed a hand through her blond hair sighing.

"I don't know if it will help," Eddie sighed. "I just know something has to help me feel better. You're home more, the babies are thriving, Joey's wedding is coming, I have every reason to be happy but I'm just not."

Jamie rocked Eddie in his arms, "You want to talk to Father Kindrich? Maybe he can help you sort things out?"

Eddie took a breath, "Maybe, I can start there yes. Thank you for understanding Jamie. Right now there are things I just can't tell you."

Jamie sucked in a breath, "Eddie, there is nothing that you can say to me. I love you with all my heart and soul, what is it that you can't tell me."

Eddie sniffled, "When I tell you how I feel, I just…You try to fix it and tell my why I shouldn't feel that way and that's not making it better, it's only make it harder to cope. I need to feel it, and let it pass. I need that space from you on this, okay? Not on everything, please don't think that, but just on this..please?"

Jamie kissed Eddie' forehead, "All right honey. I'll set it up with the Chaplain this week."

"Thank you," Eddie replied. "I'm going to take a hot shower then I'll get breakfast."

"Why don't I do breakfast for us and Dad, and you just take the shower okay?"

Eddie nodded, "Thanks…"

Eddie was expecting some oatmeal or maybe muffins from the corner store, she was shocked she got waffles with warm syrup and a side of berries. "Oh Jamie, you didn't have to do this."

"I know your favorite breakfast is waffles," Jamie replied placing Eddie's plate on the table. Frank padded into the kitchen. "I thought I smelled waffles," Frank smiled and kissed Eddie on the cheek.

"Hey, why are you kissing her? I made breakfast" Jamie joked. "But she's prettier so it's okay."

Jamie served Frank then himself a waffle. "I talked to Lila last night and we are going on a walk today. Do you want to come on a walk with us Eddie?" Frank asked.

"Yes, that would be a lot of fun, yeah!" Eddie replied. "Frank, don't feel like you have to help Lila with the twins. She is a big girl and Eddie and I have been talking about this for a while. We are trying to reing ourselves in and let her fall. We can't do it all for her and we shouldn't. If we don't pull back now she won't learn to stand."

"She is big girl that likes her grandfather and likes to spend time with me," Frank replied. "I like to spend time with her and the little babies, and I ask her to bring them around so we can go on walks and I can play with them. I don't want either of you giving Lila a lecture or telling her to not bring the babies to play, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir," Jamie mocked with a smile receiving a glare from Frank. "But we are going to talk with her about how much she sits back when the rest of the family is around. It's one thing to help but…"

"Well you can talk to her about diaper changing and bottles, but I want my visits and my cuddle time while I can still have it. I still outrank you remember that," he warned with a smile.

Eddie chuckled under her breath at the two, starting to eat breakfast. "This is really good Jamie."

"So do you understand? I'm more than happy to see my great grandkids and help my granddaughter. I'll be the one saying when and if I can't do something," Frank pressed on looking between the two.

Eddie nodded her answer agreeing as she took another bite of the waffles. Frank turned to his son raising an eyebrow at him. "I get it dad."

"Jamie, on thing…Erin's time with your Dad got cut short the last few days and yesterday was so awful with Nikki and Lila fighting. It didn't help that I was all crazy, what if…You and I…" Eddie reached across the table to draw mock hearts on Jamie's hand. "Have a date night, a little personal quiet time and Erin and Nikki can come over before they go back to Boston and have a good visit with you, Frank. Would you like that?"

Frank smiled, "I don't like seeing my girls upset. It would be nice to do that…"

"I'm going to see Erin at the office, do you want me to ask her?" Jamie asked smiling at the thought of a nice time with his wife. He was seeing glimpses of the old Eddie today, the one before the constant shifts in medications and toxicity levels began to wreak havoc on their lives.

"No, honey," Jamie replied. "It will come from me, I'll call her after the meeting and ask her."

"Erin, thanks for meeting with me," Jamie replied. "I don't want to discuss this around Dad."

"I understand," Erin replied. "And I am betting Eddie isn't interested in seeing me either."

"Eddie is struggling now with depression," Jamie replied. "So no, I don't want you around her too much or Nikki either. Dad out his foot down with Eddie and me about Lila too. He says he will continue to see her and the babies when he likes, the five of them are going walking this afternoon at Dad's request."

Erin nodded, "I know she was out of line. Nikki is sensitive, but I agree she made her own bed. I will not have her coming to the house as it is now, not until Dad is stronger and Eddie is in a better state."

Jamie nodded in agreement, "Let's talk about why we're here, the foundation...Detective Antunes, please step in."

Jamie's assistant, a short but shapely young blonde stepped in with recording equipment, "Detective Antunes, taking a statement from Erin Reagan...re misappropriated relief funding..."

The questioning last three hours, Erin kept denying that she knew the men they detained for the actual kidnappings, and that she had any dealing with the actual books. "I gave my name to the foundation to help popularize it with middle income families and I gave my money to make sure there were enough toys, games, balls, computers, and such to keep the children wanting to come. I was trying to cut down on kidnapping, molestation, gang violence, many of those things already were decreasing under my father, Commissioner Gormley, and my brother's tenures as Commissioner."

The Detective nodded, writing down notes on her paper. "Miss Reagan, what was in it for you? Was anything offered as an incentive for your contributions?"

"What ? No nothing. Even if I was offered money I wouldn't have taken it," Erin shook her head surprised by the question.

"We have to ask the questions Erin, you know," Jamie sympathized with his big sister but this was the only way to clear her name.

"Are you willing to produce bank documents and other forms of financial information, including permission for the FBI and NYPD to search for off shore or out of state accounts?"

"Yes, of course," Erin replied. "Will those become public record?"

"Erin, people with nothing to hide, hide nothing," Jamie reminded her.

Erin bit her lip, if her father ever found out what her current financial state was he would be so upset with her, but to get herself taken care of and be able to come home, she had no choice. "Yes," Erin replied. 'You can access anything."

Erin sighed several forms and shook the detective' hand. "Come on over tomorrow for dinner, I'll let Eddie know. Just you," Jamie said firmly.

"Thanks Jamie."

Erin headed out of the office and back to the hotel shared with Nikki. Just as she rounded the corner to duck into her Uber, a camera flashed in her face. "Ms. Reagan, did you know your money was being used to kidnap and rape children?"

Erin had no idea what to say so she said nothing. The next time Erin spoke was when her phone rang flashing Eddie's number. "Hey," Erin answered. "Is Dad okay?"

"Yeah, Dad's great. We had a walk this afternoon and he did three laps before getting winded," Eddie bragged. "He's having a rest now because hopefully you and Nikki will visit him tonight."

"Oh Eddie, I don't know I…" Erin sighed.

"Jamie and I are having a date night, there will be no stress for anyone," Eddie assured Erin. "I want what your Dad wants, and he needs all of us. Nikki's opinions of me are a little hard for me to take right now but Frank is part of the bigger picture."

"I'd love to, I'm sure Nikki will too," Erin replied. "Thanks a lot. Can I head over now and call Nikki?"

"Yeah, sure," Eddie replied. "I'm going to be getting ready, I'll have the kitchen door open."

Eddie was still downstairs when Erin arrived a half hour later. She had just pulled a batch of Krofnes from the oven. She took one look at Erin and sighed, "What happened?"

"When I got in the car," Erin sighed. "There were reporters, just what Jamie didn't want. This is going to hit him so hard…I'm so sorry."

Eddie sighed, "Leave Jamie to me, try to enjoy the time with your father. I'm sorry things got so out of hand last night."

"I'm sorry too," Erin sighed. "Nikki was out of line…"

"Yes, in some ways, it's really not my fault I'm this heavy and that does hurt but as for the rest of it, she had a very blunt point. My two are no angels either…Jamie and I see that and except for what Frank said about wanting to keep the babies coming over as much as he wants, we're reigning it in."

"Looks like we both made some mistakes, just took me a lot longer to see it," Erin replied.

"Jamie has always been fair, you know that. And if and when those pictures hit the newspapers, he'll be fair then too. I'm going to get dressed…'

Eddie patted Erin's hand and headed upstairs to get ready for a night on the town.

Next Update – October 19th – Erin's scandal makes the major papers, Eddie moves in with Lila after witnessing a moment between Jamie and his assistant.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty Four

"Jamie," Eddie soothed as Jamie poured over the Times, Post, and Daily News. "Jamie, calm down. It looks worse than it really is. Erin didn't comment, they quoted you as saying the department does not play favorites, honey it's okay."

"It's not, I worked so hard, Eddie," Jamie replied his limp emphasized greatly with the stress of this moment.

"I know you did," Eddie soothed. "I know you worked so hard to protect Erin and your father, the whole family, but things happen sweetheart." Eddie caught her husband and put her arms around him. "Please calm down honey. Please…"

Jamie sighed and let Eddie lead him to the sofa. She put two pillows behind his head and two under his legs. "You cannot get upset like this. I'm going to speak to Erin, get her back to Boston, and get the pressure off. I won't see you suffering like you did with the stroke."

"Just sit with me, Eddie," Jamie replied. "Just sit with me, Erin is already heading out of town with Nikki. I just need you to sit with me okay?"

Eddie nodded and sat on the sofa with Jamie. She held his hand and stroked his head, "You can't go in like this. Let me text Jack that you'll be taking time out today."

Jamie sighed, "I have to do a press conference, address all of this," Jamie sighed. "I really do, I can't just hide in the house, I'm the Commissioner."

"Okay, but rest until your pressure comes down okay?" Eddie sighed. "Let me get some tea and you just rest a little bit."

Jamie agreed and texted his assistant to let her know he'd be late. Eddie sent a text to Jack to help his uncle and run interference for him at the office that day. While the tea brewed Frank came into the kitchen, "Are you okay, Dad?"

"Yes," Frank replied. "I know that Erin made some dumb decisions, but she's innocent. She's finally told her side to officials, the press can sit and spin; it's only a scandal if it's true."

"I wish you'd tell that to Jamie," Eddie sighed. "He's so stressed since he saw the morning papers. It think he really is worried about how you'll take this."

"Don't worry," Frank told Eddie. "Make the tea, we'll all take some before he goes to work."

Eddie brewed her blueberry tea that morning, it was very relaxing and refreshing, it helped Jamie relax a lot.

The three of them drank their tea and Frank gently spoke to Jamie. "It's part of the job you know that, don't let it matter that it's your sister. I never let headlines about you kids affect how I did the job. I know you tried to do that a little differently, son, but now, for this, I think you should use that example."

"At least Erin's gone now and I don't have to worry about that part for now," Jamie replied. "I have to get in the shower and get moving. The sooner we solve this the better."

Jamie headed upstairs to get ready to face the day.

When Jamie arrived at work, the swarm of reporters he expected was not present at 1PP. The path inside was smooth sailing. It wasn't until he got inside the he learned the DCPI and Jack had decided for him that he would hold a press conference to directly address the articles and move onto the next news cycle. "I can't do a press conference like this!" Jamie exploded. "I spilled coffee all over my shirt and…."

"And you have another shirt in the back, Commissioner," Detective Antunes reminded him. "It'll work out well, it really will…" She offered Jamie a smile then went back to her desk so the three men could hammer out Jamie's strategy.

"Oh, Sir, by the way," Jack replied. "Sean filed to compel Dana Rosen to provide fetal tissue samples for a paternity test, you might get a question about that as well as the questions about the boys and girls club."

"Well that's easy," Jamie replied. "We will not compel a pregnant woman to undergo any unnecessary medical procedures, we will compel her to comply with the DNA request on advice of counsel when the child is born. What's next?"

"I'm worried about him, Dad," Eddie sighed. "Jack told me they're holding a press conference, just doing it once and for all. I should be there, I should be by his side, if not in front of the cameras, before and after…"

Frank smiled, "Call Lila, have her come around with my little ones. You go do what you need to do, I feel well today anyway. Jamie needs your focus."

Eddie smiled, she quickly placed the call to Lila and got dressed to stand by her man. While Eddie headed to 1PP, Jamie prepared for his press conference. Detective Antunes brought Jamie his shirt; Jamie changed as quickly as he could before returning to the main office. Detective Antunes smiled as Jamie came around wearing his new shirt and took in a deep breath. "Okay, think I'm ready."

Detective Antunes surveyed Jamie's appearance. "Wait not quite." She moved so she was standing in front of him; she gazed up at Jamie's eyes as she reached up to fix his collar. The Commissioner was handsome no doubting that, the one every girl swooned over even at 62 years old.

Jamie's blue grey eyes sparkled like stars, they were very easy to get lost in. The detective carefully folded Jamie's collar so it hung neatly down and completed the final buttons on the edge of the collar.

"Thanks, my hands I tried." Jamie sighed, frustrated he wasn't able to do simple things like fix his own collar.

The pretty blonde put her hands on Jamie's shoulders, "It's okay. That's part of why you have an assistant. Relax, take a breath…"

Eddie has been admitted to 1PP and headed up to Jamie's office. She knew he'd need help getting ready and would be shaky from the stress of the morning. As she approached Jamie's partially open office door, she saw Detective Antunes securing the final buttons on Jamie's collar.

The detective was beautiful, thin, blonde, and not a day over 35. She was a memory of what Eddie used to be, at least in her own mind. That's what Jamie wanted now, he wanted her, just not like she was at present. He wanted the old her, the pretty, healthy her…and slowly and covertly she was being replaced.

Eddie turned and nearly ran out of 1PP, she was crying and barely able to breathe. She knew one thing for sure, if Jamie wanted that other women, he could have her. He would never have to think or worry about her again.

Frank was astonished when Eddie came back home in tears. "Eddie, what is it sweetie?"

Eddie could barely speak, "Jamie…he's…she was putting his shirt on him…they were…"

In her mind's eye, Eddie could see Jamie holding this other woman, snuggling her, caressing her. It broke her heart. Lila had been upstairs changing diapers and came down with two contented babies to a crying mother. "Mom? What happened? Did something happen to Dad?" Lila put her babies down and went to put her arms around Eddie.

"Your mom saw your dad and I suppose his assistant, she was putting his shirt on him," Frank replied. "I'm sure it was just that he had to change or got wrinkled but Mom is upset."

"He's having a love affair with her," Eddie sobbed. "I'm not going to nurse him and cuddle him and love him when he's getting it someplace else!"

Lila sighed, "Oh, Mom, come on now, you know that's not true. You know Dad loves you, he would never do something like that." Lila looked at the look of shock and pain in her mother's eyes, she remembered from social work school that perception was often reality. For now, until she got a good read on things, she would make sure that her mom felt safe. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't want to be here when he comes home," Eddie sobbed. "I'm getting a lawyer…"

"One step at a time honey," Frank tried to soothe. "Cool down then just talk to Jamie and ask him what happened?"

"Why?" Eddie hiccupped. "So he can lie and lie…over and over again!"

"Mom, you don't know yet what happened," Lila sighed. "But I hate to see you so upset. Let's get you packed, you can stay with me a day or two and take a break."

Frank nodded, "That's a good idea, it'll give me a chance to talk to Jamie and get things settled down. Lila, pack the bag, I think it's a good idea if she puts her feet up."

Lila agreed and hurriedly packed a bag for her mother. Frank turned on the news to see his son taking the presses questions, next to him, where Baker always stood for him. There was no question the woman was beautiful, and that she resembled Eddie in her younger years. There was also no question she held a torch for Jamie, her eyes were fixed on him in a way a teenager would fixate on a handsome teacher. Frank didn't get that vibe from Jamie, he saw him focused on the press, doing his job with no idea what awaited him at home.

"Come on, Mom," Lila said a half hour later. "I have clothes, your bath things, and all your meds. You can lie down again at the house, okay?"

Eddie nodded, "I'll come back while Jamie's at work to help you and give you lunch. I love you Frank I just can't look at him. I can't."

"I understand, I'll talk to him. Try to calm down." Frank stood up and held Eddie tight. "I'll just wait here to have a chat with my son."

"You did exceptionally well," Detective Antunes encouraged Jamie.

"Thank you, Brenda," Jamie replied. "I'll have a coffee and sign the requisition forms for those decoy cars then I'm going to head for home."

"Yes, I will take your shirt to the dry cleaner," the detective replied. "You rest up, we have three witnesses come forward in the rape case that wish to join the DA's panel and wish to compel DNA, we also have some suspicious tickets being paid at that 4-1. It seems that an officer is paying the tickets even though they aren't on his car."

Jamie laughed, "Yeah I remember someone doing that when I was on patrol. Turned out he was trying to romance the girl that was parking just anyplace cause she thought he was pulling them. I'll speak to the CO over there."

Brenda nodded, "Have a good night, Commissioner."

Jamie called his detail to head home to Eddie and Frank. The traffic was still light and Jamie made the trip quickly. Jamie got out of the SUV and headed inside, "Hi, honey. I'm home," he called out for Eddie only to receive the greeting of his father's solemn face, "She's gone, Jamie. She's gone from us."

 **A/N: Please no rotten tomatoes…I do have a method to my and Eddie's madness, this arc only lasts a few chapters so hope you stick with me to see where I go. I'm so grateful for the terrific following and such loyal readers, I promise there is much more of this series to go so I'm not going to do anything to wacky, yet…**

 **Next Update – October 22** **nd** **– After taking Frank's news the wrong way, Jamie heads to Lila's. Lila tries not to hurt either parent as the family tries to treat lightly.**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty Five

Jamie's eyes widened hearing his father's words, the actual meaning not registering. Jamie's mind went to the worst. "Dad, what?"

"I'm so sorry Jamie. She just…It was more than she could take, I think," Frank said softly with a concerned look to his youngest son.

This time the words did register. Tears sprang to Jamie's eyes, his stomach wretched forcing him to swallow before her threw up then and there. Jamie's knees shook uncontrollably sending him to the floor. "Oh, Eddie…" Jamie drew a shaking breath. "Eddie. Do the kids know? What hospital did she go to? I have to see her."

Frank's brows knotted then he realized Jamie had no idea about what happened. "Jamie, oh son I'm sorry. I didn't think you would go there. Eddie isn't dead, Jamie. She's not dead, she just moved out to Lila's."

Jamie struggled to get off the floor, his body shaking. Frank helped him into a kitchen chair, "Take a breath, Jamie," Frank soothed. "I'm sorry, I had no idea you'd think she was dead, son. I assumed you had an idea that she was angry with you when she left 1PP."

"Eddie never was at 1PP," Jamie replied. "I never saw her at 1PP."

"She went," Frank replied. "She went down there to help you get ready for the press conference, Jack told her they called a press conference."

"Brenda helped me get my shirt changed for that, I thought Eddie was home… I never saw her Dad."

Frank nodded, "I think perhaps she saw Brenda helping you and being so sensitive. Besides, there's something I want to talk to you about."

"Dad," Jamie protested beginning to stand up slowly. "I have to see Eddie, I have to talk to her."

"Yes," Frank confirmed. "But not until you see this, son. You have the wool over your eyes."

Frank led Jamie to living room and turned on the DVR of the press conference. "Look at your assistant and tell me what you see."

Jamie looked at Frank, "Dad, I have no idea what you're talking about. Eddie is over at Lila's with her bags packed and you want me to watch TV?"

"Yes, because what is on the TV is part of why she is at Lila's," Frank argued. "Watch the tape like the cop I know you are."

Jamie watched the video again and again until he finally saw it, Brenda's gaze was fixated on him, but not as his assistant, she was looking at him like a man. "Okay, so it appears she finds me attractive, but she's never acted on it and neither have I!"

"I know that Jamie," Frank sighed. "But this is inappropriate. It is really not appropriate."

Jamie sighed, "I'll deal with it but I have no choice now but to try coax my wife back home. I will not lose her over nothing Dad."

"It's not nothing to her," Frank replied quickly.

Jamie took a few deep breaths, "Well I just have to prove it don't I. Was she very upset?"

"Lila wouldn't let her carry the babies, they took the backup stroller home she was shaking so much," Frank replied. "I hope she put her to bed with a cup of tea. Eddie tries to be tough, but you know since the renal problems…"

Jamie ran hand over his face, "They made her stamina weaker and it changed her Dad. She is not who I married."

"Are you who she married?" Frank asked. "She married a very healthy, able bodied thirty-two year old man, that now she has to dress and sometimes wash or help to feed…That's part of marriage. You take the good with the bad."

Jamie nodded, "Wish me luck."

Jamie headed out of the using the short walk to gather his thoughts. Usually a misunderstanding like this would clear with a hug, a kiss, and a good old fashioned chat, Jamie wasn't holding out much hope of that.

Lily sat on the bed handing her mom a cup of tea she made. "Thanks Lila," Eddie said with a smile accepting it. She took a slow sip but it seemed nothing would make her feel better. Eddie's hands still shook.

"Mom, it'll be okay just relax here. When you're feeling calmer I'll give you the twins." Lila watched her mom, she had never seen her like this and hoped this was the last time she saw it. Lila rubbed Eddie's arm, if her father really did cheat on her Mom what would she do?

Eddie gave a slight nod sipping her tea, letting her daughter and the tea calm her down. When she finished Lila took the mug smiling. "Get some sleep mom, it's the best thing right now to get your body to even itself out. I'm downstairs if you need." Giving her a hug Lila brought the mug down.

Lila put her babies down after she was sure Eddie was sleeping soundly, her emotions exhausting her. Lila came downstairs just as the doorbell rang sighing. She'd just put the twins down and didn't want them waking up. She opened the door quickly surprised to see her father, he usually worked until at least six. "Dad, what are you doing here?"

"I need to see Mom Lila, where is she? I need to talk and explain to her," Jamie breathed out panting.

Lila shook her head sadly at him. "Mom is too sick Dad, she can't see you right now. I know you didn't do the things she thinks you did, but she's…I've never seen her get like this."

"Lila, step aside and let me see my wife right now," Jamie said in his firm father tone.

Lila stepped to the side, she knew this had to be hard on her father too. "You can come in and sit down, catch your breath, but I am not going to have you upstairs to see Mom right now. I just got her to lie down and be still, you'll make it worse right now. When she's calmer and feeling more herself you can probably reason with her."

Jamie sat down and put his head in his hands. "If I can't talk to her, I can't fix it," Jamie replied. "I need to talk to her and try to fix it. How is she Lila? Please tell me."

"She's devastated," Lila replied. "She's lying in bed upstairs right now, she just caught her breath. You know how stress is with Mom now. I got her to lie still and I gave her some tea. She's asleep and I don't want to tax her system anymore."

"I didn't do anything wrong," Jamie replied. "I didn't. I don't know what she saw. I think she might have seen Brenda fixing my shirt collar at 1PP before the conference. My hands were fumbling and I needed help getting my shirt situated. That's all it was. That is all. My stupid hands. I love your mother, she's beautiful, she's smart, she is my heart and soul." Jamie stood up "I need to go to her, I need to explain..."

Reagan began to wail as if she empathized with her grandfather's pain. "Just sit tight and drink some water, I'll be right back."

Lila jogged upstairs to retrieve her crying baby girl. Eddie had heard her granddaughter and got up to pick her up. Lila smiled seeing her Mom holding her little girl. "Hey, Mom, you need to be lying down."

"She's wet, I'll just change her…"

"Mom, I know you heard the bell. Dad is downstairs. He really wants to see you and straighten this all out…"

"There's nothing to straighten out, Lila. If you love something let it go…and I love your father so I'm going to let him go."

"Mom, that is not what Dad wants," Lila replied. "It's not. He loves you. When you feel better, at least hear him out."

Eddie sighed, "Not now, I just can't now."

"I know," Lila empathized. "I know. You go rest, let me change her diaper and I'll try to make him go but you need to at least talk to him."

Eddie sighed, "I will but…"

Lila smiled taking Reagan back after Eddie insisted on changing her. "Go lie down, your feet up, no arguing, go on."

Lila took Reagan down with her to try to lift her father's spirits. "Go see Grandpa?" Lila handed the girl going to her father as she began to doze off again.

"I have to see her, Lila," Jamie all but begged a half hour later. "I won't wake her, I need to see her."

Lila sighed, "She's awake now, she's not wanting to see you now. Give her a couple days to settle down and give me time to talk to her. I will take good care of her Dad, you know I will. You have to remember, what we see and hear right now, is not what Mom sees and hears. Her medications…"

Jamie sighed, "I know…" Defeated he handed the baby to Lila. "Those medications are supposed to be keeping my wife alive, they are killing everything that makes her who she is. What the Hell good is it if I have a wife I don't even recognize?"

"Dad," Lila sighed. "It will get better, we can talk to Sean. He can help. Sean loves Mom more than anything, he will help, okay? Don't give up okay?"

"I'm not the one giving up, I'm not the one that is hiding upstairs thinking the worst of the person that has been there from minute one. The day I met your mother, I ended up holding her hair while she threw up in a dumpster after we held a fellow cop's intestines in with our bare hands. I never turned my back on her, not for a minute!" Jamie seethed. "Thick and thin, I was there and she sees me needing help and hey she wasn't there…Not her fault, it was work, but to act like this, to think I would betray all these years…"

"Dad, calm down, she's just really upset," Lila replied.

"I need to get out of here, take care of her. I do still love her."

Lila watched her father leave, broken in spirit and a bit in body too. Lila sat down and looked at Reagan. The baby was awake again looking up at her Mommy. "What am I going to do baby girl? What is Mommy going to do?"

The last person Danny expected to see at his front door was his brother, and he certainly did not expect to see him in tears. "Jamie, what happened Kid? Is it Dad?"

Jamie stepped closer to Danny, shaking his head as the tears began to run down his cheeks. Danny couldn't do anything but open his arms and hold onto the younger man. "Is it Eddie? Is she sick? Dead what?" Danny rubbed his hand back and forth, "Linda! Come here!"

Linda hurried in from the kitchen as Danny tried to calm Jamie down. "She left," Jamie managed finally. "She just left…"

Linda got Jamie some water and picked up the phone trying to get Frank. If something went down between Jamie and Eddie he'd have the scoop.

Danny sat with Jamie, "Why did she leave? Did you act like a meathead again?"

"She thinks I'm cheating on her Dan, she actually thinks I'd cheat on her and it hurt, it hurts more than if she cheated on me herself."

"Ah, man," Danny sighed. "She's just upset, that press conference with you assistant making cow eyes at you…"

"But I'm not…" Jamie protested.

"Jamie, you work with her daily, and Eddie is so insecure right now. Make a gesture and get her transferred. That will go a mile trust me," Linda replied having receive the details. "You stay here tonight, you and Danny talk and you relax. I'm going to the house to take care of Frank and I'll go around and check on Eddie too. This is a huge misunderstanding, but you are the rational one right now. She's not, she can't be. Sean is going to help with that, Jamie. He just promised me on the phone he was going to, so trust that. We'll fix it. We're a family and we'll fix it."

Jamie nodded, glad to have the support of his older brother in what could prove to be one of his darkest hours.

 **A/N: Well Sean is on the case now so hopefully we can get the old Eddie back before poor Jamie implodes. There are always so many sides to these things. I have been on some medication combos over the years that have made me totally wacky, I thought the sky was green and the grass was blue, that's what's going on for Eddie, but even our calm patient Jamie is battling with it. I promise, when Sean is done, it's worth it for the Jamko shippers out there. Thanks for reading and going on this ride with our favorite family.**

 **Next Updated – October 25** **th** **\- Lila arranges for Jamie and Eddie to talk, which backfires…Eddie goes to Jamie when a call from Molly has Joey worried for his Dad.**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty Six

Two weeks later, Eddie was still at Lila's and still refusing to see Jamie. She would go home when Frank called that Jamie had gone to the office and was long gone before Jamie returned. Every other day, Jamie came over to Lila's to try to talk to Eddie and to visit his grandchildren. Lila always was gracious to her father and socialized with him, but did not allow him access to Eddie at Eddie's request.

"I need to see her, Lila," Jamie said after nearly two weeks. "I need to see her."

"All right," Lila finally relented. "Tomorrow come over a few minutes earlier, Mom will be babysitting with the twins, you can see her then."

Jamie smiled, "Thank you honey. We have to resolve this, we have to."

Lila hugged her father, "I love you, Daddy. Mom loves you too, she cries…I hear her at night but she's determined Dad. Mom is convinced that you hired Detective Antunes to replace her in more than one way. The resemblance is uncanny, Dad."

Jamie sighed, "I have transferred Brenda to another command and I have another assistant, Margaret Brooks. She's brunette, tall and does not resemble your mother at all."

"That's a good step," Lila replied. "Say bye bye to Grandpa," Lila told the babies. Both twins looked up at Jamie and made their baby sounds, each one playing in a bouncy chair. "Bye my little ones," Jamie smiled kissing both the babies heads before heading home again defeated.

"Not again?" Frank asked.

"No," Jamie sighed. "At least Lila is willing to try to set up a meeting tomorrow. My own father is meeting covertly with my wife, not telling me when she is coming home…"

"I'm doing what is best for your both," Frank replied. "Eddie is not ready to see you, she's not herself for you to see, it will be a surprise to you tomorrow, I assure you."

"I'm her husband, Dad," Jamie sighed. "If she's struggling, I should be helping her whether she is angry at me or not!"

"It's not anger, Jamie," Frank reiterated at dinner that night. "She's hurt, she is unbelievably hurt and that is what you have to address with her when you see her. Acknowledge it as a fact, don't try to make her feel like she is wrong to be feeling like she's feeling. Even if you did not feel there was a reason to be upset about it, Eddie was upset and you have to accept that."

Jamie nodded, taking his father's advice. He knew that in order to fix things he had to understand Eddie's feelings, even if he didn't agree with them.

The next afternoon, Jamie went by Lila's house early. She would be out at least another ten minutes at least, enough time for Jamie to talk to Eddie. Eddie sat on the couch holding Finn on her lap smiling as she watched him. She'd been happy to spend the past few days with Lila and her grandbabies. Reagan was asleep in her swing, but Finn had other ideas. He wanted to be awake and focus on all the fun things around him.

Finn squirmed, the twins were at the age where they enjoyed their tummy time and wanted to be free rather than held. "Okay," Eddie cooed lifting him as the bell rang. Shifting the little boy in her arms tickling him Eddie went to open the door.

Her eyes narrowed seeing Jamie standing outside. "I knew sooner or later she would be out when you showed up," Eddie sighed. "You can wait for Lila in the SUV." Eddie told Jamie turning her back to him.

"Eddie, please I want to talk," Jamie pleaded reaching for her arm.

Eddie turned, eyes wet with a sad look shaking her head. "Talk about what Jamie?" Eddie asked setting Finn on the floor for him to play. "Talk about my replacement? That's what she is right?"

"Eddie," Jamie sighed taking her upper arms into his. He could feel her left was swollen. "Are you doing your stocking? Is Lila doing the creams?"

"What do you care?" Eddie asked. "I'm the old cow…"

"Eddie," Jamie sighed. "You're not. You are my wife, the one I chose to spend the rest of my life with. There is nothing there with Antunes so much so I transferred her out and brought in someone new. I do not want to hurt you. I don't want to be apart, please…Come home honey."

Eddie felt the tears spill over, "She was touching you, Jamie. She was dressing you, why was she doing that? It wasn't because you spilled, the look in her eyes…it was not because you spilled…"

"It was because I spilled," Jamie replied. "I spilled and I couldn't go on TV looking like that. My hands were shaking…I needed help. She helped, that's all she did was help."

"The way she looked at you, Jamie…" Eddie squeaked out. "She looked at you like…like you were hers." Eddie melted down then, covering her face, sobbing into her hands. "I'm sorry I got sick okay? I'm sorry I'm not beautiful, that I'm not young or thin, I'm sorry…but don't do this to me okay? Don't leave me for her, please don't do that…"

Finn heard Eddie's stress and he began to kick and cry. Reagan heard her brother and she started to cry. Eddie took the opportunity to run before Jamie could counter, she headed upstairs leaving Jamie with two screaming babies as Lila walked in.

Lila took her children into her arms, "I guess that didn't go very well."

"I don't know what to do, Lila?" Jamie sighed. "She started apologizing to me for getting sick, for gaining weight. That's not her fault, I don't hold her responsible for that, it's insulting frankly for her to say that to me. That hurt! I'm sorry, I'm going home. I'm sorry." Jamie kissed Lila's head then each baby before heading to the house.

Lila sighed and dialed her brother, "Get over here," was the message of the day.

"What's the matter, Joseph?" Molly asked seeing the look on her fiancé's face. "Is your mother okay?"

Joe sighed, "Mom's flipped her lid and Dad…I'm over there literally daily helping him with something. They need each other, but my mother is convinced that my dad has a thing for this assistant and that she has a thing for him. Now my sister calls, the babies are screaming, Mom is upstairs locked in her room, and Dad left in tears."

"I will go check on yer Dad," Molly comforted. "You go tend to your Momma. Give her a hug tight and help her calm down okay?"

Joe nodded and got into the car with Molly by his side. As he drove, he hoped he would never face this kind of thing in his own marriage. The wedding was three months away now. Joey hoped his parents finished this rough patch before that day.

Jamie dropped Molly off at his father's house and headed to his sister's. "Thank God, Joey, I can't get her to come out. She's crying and she won't come out."

Joey sighed, "Okay, sit down. Snuggle the babies, calm them. I'll be back."

Joey jogged up the steps and knocked on the guest room door. "Mom, it's Joe, open the door."

Joey could hear Eddie's sobs and ragged breathing. "Mom, open this door now, because I'm coming in one way or another."

While Joey knocked and pushed Steven arrived home to the chaos. "What in the name of God Lila?" he asked reaching down to pick up Finn.

"Mom's locked herself in the bedroom," Lila sniffled. "I fixed it so she and Dad encountered each other and it backfired. He left in tears, Joey's going to have to break down the door."

Steven gave Finn back to Lila, "Let me try."

Steven jogged up the steps and gently moved Joey, "Eddie, it's Steven. Please open the door and come down. The babies are so scared their grandma is crying…"

Nothing worked.

"Let's get you settled and relaxing, it's not helping anyone you get so upset," Molly gently told Jamie as she handed him and Frank some Irish blend tea. "I'm sure Joey can calm his Momma down and then you can speak as a family again and fix it."

"There's no fixing this," Jamie sighed. "I really destroyed us. I saw the warning signs, I just never thought she would go there. I never thought we had disintegrated to this point."

Molly nodded taking Jamie's blood pressure, "Jamie, you're pressure is very high. I need you to lie still."

Molly got on the phone with Joey, "Joseph, your father's pressure is 185/115. I am trying but I think we're going to have to call the ambulance if it doesn't go down. I don't want it going any higher."

"Okay, let me talk to my mother and I'll call you back." Joey knocked on the door again, trying to get through to his mother. He explained that Jamie's blood pressure was elevated and the Molly thought he might have to go to the hospital. There was a pause from behind the door on Eddie's side, the locks unclicked allowing Eddie to open the door. Her eyes remained downcast but Joe could see the red rims around her puffy, bloodshot eyes.

"Mom," Joe mumbled taking a step closer wanting nothing more than to hug her. Eddie allowed it comforted by her son's embrace.

"Will you take me to see Dad? Eddie asked quietly pulling away slightly. Seeing Joe nod, she followed him downstairs.

Joey held Eddie's arm and quickly drove her to the house. Molly had Jamie lying on his back, legs elevates, shoes and brace off. She had ice on his feet and on his neck trying to get the pressure to drop. Frank was hovering and smiled seeing Eddie, "Eddie, you're just what he needs now."

Eddie sat on the couch beside Jamie, eyes burning and swollen. "Jamie, none of this now. Shut your eyes, take a breath." Eddie stroked Jamie's brow. She was angry and hurt, that was for sure but she didn't want her husband stroking out either. "Just be still, I'm here. I'm right here."

Joe watched Eddie soothe Jamie, she gently stroked his cheek and spoke in gentle tones until Jamie was asleep on the sofa and Molly was satisfied with her readings. Joey sighed, "Are you going to be home tonight Mom?"

"I'm going to stay until he's doing better," Eddie replied. "He might think it's okay to replace me, fall out of love with me, but I'm not going to let him get sick."

Joey sighed, "Mom, Dad is in love with you. He loves you to pieces and this separation is killing him. It's killing him, Mom."

Eddie looked up, "It's killing me to see him with that other woman. He might not have acted on anything but he's tempted. Why else won't he retire? I honestly feel that someone could be standing there with a knife to my throat and say Eddie or your job and he'd think about it. I'm tired of being behind in his life. I'm not staying beyond tomorrow, our marriage is ending and I think it's time we face it."

Eddie got up and headed to the kitchen, shaking as she took a sip of water. She was resolved, the marriage was over unless Jamie really convinced her otherwise. Even at that they had their work cut out for them.

While Eddie drank her water and made Jamie blueberry tea for when he woke up, Joey called his cousin. "Hey, Sean, call me when you get this. I am in great need of help with Mom. Maybe you can help out and give her an evaluation or something. I can't take it anymore, please help."

Joey hung up an sat in the easy chair, head down. He felt Molly put a soft hand on his back then wrap him in her arms, "It'll be okay, Joseph. I promise ye it'll be okay." Joey didn't know if he believed her, all he knew was he wanted to.

 **A/N: Eddie realizes that her behavior is hurting Jamie and that is the last thing she wants. Thankfully it seems Joey is going to take matters into his hands and try to force a proper diagnosis on his mother. Just a glimmer of hope, I know but I do have a lot more of this story to tell.**

 **Next Update – October 28** **th** **– Jamie and Eddie finally talk, Joey and Molly disagree and Joey puts some verbs in his sentences with Jamie.**


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty Seven

Jamie slept through the night on the sofa, Eddie sat up all night in the reclining chair. Jamie's breathing stayed even throughout the night while Eddie's was often hitching with sobs. She loved Jamie so much; he claimed to love her but if he did he'd do so many things differently. Eddie wanted things to be the way they used to be, when they were truly a team. When their love was mutual.

Jamie stirred as the sun reached across the couch and brushed over his eyes. The headache was still substantial, "Eddie?"

Jamie remembered her soft hands, gentle voice, and the scent of lavender, inherently Eddie. He knew it had to be dream, a beautiful dream where his wife was back at his side, facing things as a team.

"I'm here," Eddie replied moving to block the sun. "How are you feeling?"

"Really stiff," Jamie replied sitting up and stretching. "And a little dizzy."

"Take a deep breath," Eddie replied. "I'll make you some tea. Do you have to go to the bathroom?"

Jamie nodded and slowly started to rise. Eddie stood close to him and grabbed his arm when his step faltered. "Take it slow, do you want me to get the bottle and you can use that?"

"No," Jamie replied. "I'm okay, just lost my footing. Let's sit and have tea and breakfast at the table together. Can we do that?"

Eddie sighed, "I'm not much on breakfast lately but okay. Take your time in the bathroom."

Eddie brewed a pot of breakfast tea, set out some toast and jam and began to make eggs. Frank was awake walking around his room. He would not dare step out of the bedroom now that seemed Eddie and Jamie might talk.

By the time Jamie finished, Eddie had a reasonable spread put together on the table. Jamie sat down and uneasily sighed. "I remember when I first met you, when I first fell in love with you…"

Eddie looked up at him intrigued in wanting to hear more about what he thought when he first met her. They had thirty years together, and to Jamie, Eddie was the fresh faced, bubbly beauty to this day. To Eddie, so much had changed. "Oh yeah?"

Jamie reached across the table for her hand smiling deeply. "Yeah, when you first came down the precinct steps and introduced yourself I knew you weren't like any other woman I met. Short, sassy, ate way too much...The prettiest girl…"

"Boy Scout," Eddie mumbled with a teasing smile. She rubbed the inside of Jamie's hand. She missed these talks, this intimate time with her husband. "You were handsome, you still are handsome. Women still melt when the look at you, that assistant…"

"Eddie," Jamie sighed. "I transferred her. I never even noticed that she was looking at me the way she was. My dad pointed it out to me. I'm not looking at anyone besides you and when I do see you, I see that same young girl outside the precinct."

Eddie sniffled, "But I'm not her anymore. She's gone, that girl is long gone. Besides you didn't fall in love with me at first sight. I know I didn't fall in love with you, I thought you were going to be a stick in the mud."

"I fell in love with you that night when I was suspended," Jamie replied. "And I saw this beautiful blonde sitting by herself just waiting for me to sit down…You had me then, you had my heart. We didn't act on it though, not until after your first kill remember that? I came over and you told me that you needed me. We sat on the couch and I held you while you cried. It felt good being with you," Jamie admitted.

Eddie narrowed her eyes at him. "Then what took you so long to ask?"

"Honesty?" Jamie sighed. "I can't believe I've never told you this. What stopped me was fear. Total and complete fear. I could not lose you, I had you there in my grasp. We got to spend so much time together, but that night, holding you close, so small, needing me so much…I need you just as much. I needed that too."

Eddie sighed, "Look at us now. Such a mess."

Jamie sighed, "Eddie, I know that I am not what you need right now. That is honestly the most painful thing for me because for our entire marriage, our entire partnership, I have always been able to help you. All I seem to be doing is hurting you, I don't want that. Tell me what I have to do and I'll do it. I want you to come home, Eddie. I want us to be like we were. I hate this, I hate it."

Eddie bit her lip, "I don't…know what to do. Jamie…"

"Come home," Jamie said again. "Just come home, we can work on it, I promise you we can work on it. I love you."

Eddie took a deep breath, "I love you, that's what makes it so hard. That what makes it hurt so much. You want to be at work more than you want to be with me, I know it's because I'm fat and ugly and weepy and all these bad things…"

"No, Eddie," Jamie said sincerely. "No, honey, please don't say those things."

"They're true," Eddie whimpered. "They are true. I went to a lawyer Jamie. I went and sat in his office…and I couldn't go into the conference area. I couldn't do it…But my biggest fear," Eddie replied as she pulled her hands back. "Is that we won't be able to walk this back. We need to come away from this listening to each other, and I don't feel listened to, I don't feel heard. I tell you how I feel, what this body feels like and you just tell me I'm wrong. You're right, you aren't what I need right now. I need my husband now, the man that loves…this man…that's not him. I'll come around later to check on you, and I'll do a better job to take care of you. I will turn this around, I promise I'll do my part, but you better do yours."

With that, Eddie left Jamie to think as she returned to Lila's to get started on her half. If Jamie wanted the girl he married, she'd give him that or die trying…

"Why are you mad at me?" Joey asked Molly as she sat with her back straight stirring a cup of tea.

"Who said I was mad at ye?" Molly almost snapped.

"Well, for one thing your accent said it," Joey replied. "You always sound more Irish when you're being tender or being mad and right now you are not tender."

Molly scoffed, "Well, then yes, I'm mad at ye because I thought you treated your mom horrible last night, the things you said to her."

"Molly, I comforted my Mom last night, I brought her to Dad, I held her…"

"Your body did that, yer mind and heart did something else!" Molly snapped. "You are doin' the same thing as yer father! You are no listening to yer Mom's feeling and her pain. It might be in her head to ye and funny to boot but it's not to her and I don't like you like this, Joseph, not at all. Am I seein' me own future?"

Molly's question got Joey straight in the heart, "No, honey. Molly, I'm just…You didn't know them before they were a pair, always a fluid, solid pair and now…I dress my father, do you realize that? I dress him because the stress of their problem is making is so left arm and leg are nearly useless. He's having muscle spasms again for the first time since his stroke. I understand my Mom is sick, that her medications are…"

"It's not just the medication!" Molly replied. "Yes, part of it, but the other part is she feels like yer Dad would rather be in an office chasing criminals than spending time with her. That has to hurt her feelings, Joseph! Then she sees him with this other lady, oh, maybe it's not his job after all!"

"Don't you dare…" Joey began but Molly backed up.

"I'm not saying I think so, I don't, and by the way, don't you dare with that tone of voice or you'll be a guest at yer own wake tonight, I'm saying think of how it looks to yer Mom. She gained a lot of weight, the kidney pills make her looks puffy and drawn together…and here is the beauty that yer Dad spends all this time with. How does it look to her mind, to her heart…then you saying she's flipped her lid, no empathy at all for your Mom that you say ye love."

"Don't doubt my love for my mother," Joey replied. "Or my love for you because I love you so much, Molly Flannigan."

Molly sighed, "You do now, I know that. What happens if I get sick and gain weight and think horrible things about meself? Do you hide at the office pretending that's it is to save the family name?"

Joey sighed, "I see your point, sweetheart. I do. I'll try to convey that to my father, but I hope they talked this morning and things got settled between them."

Molly hugged Joey, "Don't discount your Mom because she is on medication that is messing with her head, okay? Her feelings are real."

"I know they are," Joey sighed. "I'm going to go check on the folks, you have good day. Is that old man you were telling me about from the other day…"

"Nope, he died last night, I get a new case," Molly replied. "I love you." The accent faded as her anger was put in check.

Joey arrived at his parents house as Jamie was cleaning up the kitchen. "Where's Mom?" Joey asked.

"Back at Lila's," Jamie replied. "But I think we made some headway. She promised to come back later and she'll be at dinner on Sunday."

Joey sat down as Jamie offered him some coffee, "I had a long talk with Molly this morning. She was so angry at me for something I said. I know it's hard on you having Mom acting like this," Joey sighed. "I do know that but it's hard on us to see her too. Molly made a good point, we aren't looking at it from Mom's perspective. We see the medications changing her, and just brush it off as the meds but…to Mom those perceptions and those feelings are very real. She feels fat and ugly and she feels that you would rather be at work than be with her."

"That's not true," Jamie sighed. "It's not. I just want to have things a certain way before I leave and…"

"And that's the perfectionist in you, but what if when Sean takes Mom to the doctors and they say that Mom will only get better as far as the mental health aspect unless you retire and devote more time to her. What then? What choice do you make then?"

Jamie sat down across from Joey, "Is it even a choice? If it is a choice I'm forced to make in that way I'll always choose your mother. I love her, why is everyone doubting that?"

"I'm not," Joey replied. "I really am not. Just, while you two are working this out, think about that Dad. Just think on that and think how you would feel if on your worse days Mom was rushing out the door to work instead of here at your side. Think how you feel now when you are struggling and she's not here, how that hurts…how you're scared…Walk a mile in her shoes, Dad. That's all, walk a mile in her shoes."

Joey hugged Jamie and made sure he was good to go for the day before leaving for another day of crime fighting.

 **A/N: Jamie and Eddie have talked and it's clear they are still in love, just terribly confused.**

 **Next Update – October 31** **st** **– Eddie learns upsetting medical news, Sean calls on an old friend to help his aunt. Sean explains to Jamie what's going on in Eddie's mind.**


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty Eight

"Hey Aunt Eddie," Sean greeted walking back with her to a private room. He turned back smiling at her glad they got a chance to talk. His aunt had called him very upset from her doctor's office an hour ago. The doctor allowed Sean to speak to her as professional courtesy while still at his office.

Eddie sat in a chair smiling back at her nephew. "Hey Sean, how are you?"

"I'm okay thanks, but how are you?" Sean eyed his aunt trying to figure out exactly what was behind the SOS phone call and the look on her face.

Heaving in a deep breath Eddie's eyes looked over the younger man guilty. "I haven't been feeling good Sean, nothing I'm doing is helping. I feel horrible all the time, inside and outside and today the doctor told me that I'm dehydrated and my body is shutting down."

While Eddie explained Sean nodded listening intently with soft eyes. "Okay, that's something that can happen with kidney disease, and if we catch it early, it's fixable."

Eddie sighed, "Can you talk to him please? He wants me to go on this diet…"

Eddie handed Sean the forms from her doctor. "I've lost twelve pounds in the last two weeks, I'm almost back to where I was for Lila's wedding. I'm trying so hard for Uncle Jamie to love me again and…"

Sean sighed, "Uncle Jamie loves you Aunt Eddie. Also, twelve pounds is a lot in just two weeks. Let me have a talk with Dr. Gupta, I see some concerning markers in your readings but not the ones I think he is seeing."

Sean rose, leaving Eddie in the private office as he sought his colleague. "I'd like to discuss my aunt's results with you."

The doctors sat down together, Sean pointed to the markers that concerned him. "She's lost a lot of weight in the last few weeks and she's been obsessed about this. I'm concerned what we're seeing is her body rebelling against improper foods and not a decrease in kidney function."

"Her kidney function is significantly decreased but I will give that she might bring on herself, stopping her medication and poor eating…that is possible yes," Dr. Gupta conceded. "I think though, better to address the diet than to confront her. These medications often have a poor effect on the mental outlook, it can make things worse."

"My Uncle can't lose her, and this is evident of the body shutting down, you told her this that is why she called me so upset. This looks like a person that is starving their body of what it needs to be healthy, she's merely eating what she needs to be functional."

"Her body is shutting down, there is evidence of renal failure in the readings, that is why the dietary changes, kidney friendly foods and a change in medication to try to rebound them otherwise we are going to be into dialysis and transplant territory. In her weakened condition, and the damage to her blood cells and vessels from the chemotherapy, dialysis will be very damaging, we must avoid that and having to do that."

"I'll talk to her about this diet, and I will convince her that she's not breaking down, but that she must comply. Thank you doctor."

Sean rejoined Eddie in the private waiting area. "Aunt Eddie, I spoke to Dr. Gupta, and he and I both feel that you are needing to really try this diet. Twelve pounds in a few weeks is too much Aunt Eddie. It's bad for you to do that, all right? I'd like you to come stay with me for a few days and see if can't fix it a little bit. Joey's and Jack's weddings are in two months, we need you to be healthy for that. I'm only fifteen minutes from the house by cab."

Eddie sighed, "Okay…maybe having my own doctor for a few days will be a help. Should be go home now or…"

"Let's go to Lila's and get your things, I'll take a few days off, get you rested all right?" Sean put his arm around Eddie's shoulders. "After what happened to me, you were probably the only one that understood what I needed, I want to know what you need, Aunt Eddie. I want to understand. Do you want me to speak to Uncle Jamie? Make him understand more?"

"Uncle Jamie only understands his job," Eddie sighed. "I've been out of the house a month, he's not even gone out of his way, he comes to see me, he plays with the babies too and…I know I sound crazy and like a big time whiner…"

"Aunt Eddie," Sean sighed. "You aren't crazy, you're sick and that is making you think soe very wrong things, and what you're wrong about is that he doesn't love you, okay? I'm telling he does, I know he does."

Two hours later Sean was settling Eddie into bed in his apartment. "I want you to rest here with your feet up all right? I've seen signs of exhaustion in your blood tests and I need to have that in check before we can do anything else. I'll be back to check on you in a few hours."

While Eddie napped, Sean placed a call to an old medical school friend. "Sarah, it's Sean Reagan…"

Half an hour later, Dr. Sarah Rossiter arrived at Sean's apartment with her version of a medical bag. Not only did she carry instruments found in a regular MD's bag, she carried herbs, oils, lotions and other holistic items. "Thanks for coming, Sarah," Sean said giving her a hug.

"No worries," she replied sitting down at the kitchen table. "So you sounded really concerned, the unshakeable Sean Reagan. I remember in medical school you and I were on ER and we have that boy whose head got caught in the wheel well of the car, even the attending is freaking out and there you are like "I'm singing in the rain…"

"This is my aunt," Sean replied. "She's not just any other patient and these numbers don't paint a pretty picture."

Sean passed Eddie's results to Sarah. "With these levels, she's heading for renal failure, possible cardiac involvement, and is likely incredibly depressed. How the Hell did it get like this?"

Sean explained Eddie's complicated medical history, "She's been very depressed. Aunt Eddie and Uncle Jamie have the most incredible marriage, and they have been separated for a month. She is convinced she is fat, ugly, unlikable and that he wants to leave her for another woman."

"So we have body issues as well as the medical issues, okay," Sarah sighed. "I can see why you are freaking out. Where is she now?"

"In my guest room, I'm treating the exhaustion and here I can make sure she is actually eating and not just drinking sugar water like these results suggest. She is determined to lose weight, she thinks if she does then my uncle will love her again. He's never stopped, Sarah. He's making himself physically ill over this."

"All right, let's do this…"

While Eddie slept Sarah and Sean went through Sarah's bag. "She needs to detoxify as well as hydrate and rebalance her body. If she does, there's a good chance she'll lose weight but she cannot go on any other anti-cancer drug because all of the other options are murder on the kidneys."

"Sean…" Eddie called out. "Sean…"

Sean got up and went to his aunt.

Sean rushed into the room where his aunt was supposed to be sleeping finding her on the floor instead. "What happened Aunt Eddie?" he asked rushing over to her side.

"I uh it's nothing just fell down and got scared. Thanks." Eddie's cheeks burned bright red embarrassed at her nephew having to find her like this.

Sean knelt beside her doing a quick check for any visible signs of injury. "What hurts Aunt Eddie? Tell me."

"My pride," Eddie smiled slightly a sure she was okay, but Sean saw right through the smoke screen.

"I'm going to check you over okay just to make sure. Aunt Eddie did you eat today?"

"Yes, I had an apple before I left for the doctor, I was feeling so scared though…" Eddie excused. 

Sean helped Eddie to the bathroom then introduced her to Sarah. "Dr. Sarah Rossiter, this is my Aunt Edit Reagan, but she goes by Eddie. Aunt Eddie, this is Sarah Rossiter, we were really good friends in school and consult together sometimes."

Eddie smiled as Sarah looked at her, "It's nice to meet you."

Sean fixed Eddie a sandwich and watched her put the food in her mouth. "Aunt Eddie, Sarah is a holistic doctor, I know you have been receptive to that in the past. I'd like you to try some of her teas and see if that helps."

"I'll try anything at this point," Eddie replied. "I can't eat anymore."

Sean looked at Eddie's plate, she only ate half of her sandwich. "One more half, Aunt Eddie," Sean replied. "Please…"

Eddie ate another bite, "I'm going to be sick, I can't."

Sean sighed, "Okay, how about you hang out in the recliner for a bit and Sarah will make you a tea that works well with the kidneys and helps remove toxins."

Eddie nodded, "Does it remove pounds?"

Both doctors frowned.

When Eddie returned to the bedroom to sleep again, Sarah looked at Sean with concern. "Someone needs to put the fear of God into your uncle. She's going to die, he has to know that reality."

Sean nodded, "I'll talk to him. Now this tea what's the dosage?"

Sean took care of Eddie for two days, trying to give her time to rest, relax, and detoxify. When Sunday came that week, Sean had a gentle talk with Eddie. "I know you want to see Lila and Joe and play with the babies, but maybe when you go to check on Grandpa tomorrow Lila can bring them. I don't like how you look right now, I think you need to stay in bed. I'll bring you some dinner."

Eddie didn't have the strength to argue, "All right."

Sean gave her a hug and made sure she had everything she needed for the few hours he'd be gone.

Sean arrived at the family home and pushed the door open. His nostrils were immediately hit with dinner, a new roast Linda worked on.

"Hello," he called stepping into the living room. Everyone's eyes fell upon the young man expecting to see Eddie with him. Lila was upset her mother had left her house where she was keeping an eye on her for Sean's house and now she wasn't even at dinner or visiting Frank. Lila looked up too giving him a smile but frowned seeing her mother wasn't with him. "Where's my mom?"

"She stayed back to rest," Sean sighed joining the others on the sofa and opening a beer.

"Why, what's wrong with her? Is she okay?" Jamie moved closer to his nephew frowning and worried something might be wrong. "Sean tell me what's wrong with her! She's my wife!"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Sean asked. "Because I'm not sure if you'd like the answer."

"Sean, don't play games with him," Jack warned. "What's wrong with Aunt Eddie."

"The truth is," Sean replied. "Aunt Eddie's body is a metabolic nightmare and we are running out of time."

Jamie's face turned red and his jaw locked firm. "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry, but it's the truth, and because of it, Aunt Eddie is in such a deep depression. The depression coupled with her medications are basically…" Sean saw some fruit on the table, a bundle of grapes, some bananas and a grapefruit. He pulled a grape off the bunch and held it up. "What do you see?"

"A grape," Jamie replied not quite sure where he was going with this. Sean switched the fruits, "Now what do you see?"

"A grapefruit," Jamie replied.

"Right, but for Aunt Eddie…this grape looks like this grapefruit and this grapefruit looks like a head of broccoli. Her perceptions have been inherently damaged so she's questioning even the most basic things and unfortunately that includes your feelings for her and her own self worth."

"What do I do?" Jamie asked. "How do I fix it? How do I help?"

"You can't help her right now," Sean sighed. "Right now, her mind is playing tricks on her. Let's give it a little time, okay? Let's let my colleague's plan have a chance to work. When we reduce the toxicity my guess is that all of the fuzzies will disappear and then Aunt Eddie will actually hear what you are saying. Try to just be patient."

"I can't be patient when my marriage and my life if falling apart!" Jamie snapped. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"Uncle Jamie, I know that, we all know that but that's not going to get through right now. Aunt Eddie is being driven by a severe metabolic imbalance and fear. There's only one way to fix that and right now that is to let me do what I have to do. Okay?"

"Then go do it, what the Hell are you sitting here for! Go fix my wife so I can have her back!" Jamie began to pace, working himself up again.

Sean conceded, knowing it would help his uncle and aunt if he agreed. "Mom, can I get a plate? I'm leaving, I have to get back to Aunt Eddie."

Linda hugged Sean and made up two plates for Sean to bring back to Eddie. "Sit down, Daddy," Lila soothed. "Take a deep breath and sit down."

"I have to go over there and talk to her," Jamie sighed. "I have to get her to come home and take care of her. I'm losing valuable time with her."

"It's okay, Dad," Joey sighed. "I'm sure that when Sean gets Mom feeling better she'll be more reasonable. I'm sure she's at the best place for her right now."

Frank sighed, he had enough of watching both of his children suffer. Tomorrow when Eddie came to see him he would make her stay until Jamie got home, then he would force them to talk this out, that was what he'd do. Tomorrow this was ending once and for all.

Eddie was late the next day. She was supposed to come at ten thirty for a late breakfast. While Frank waited, he brought his book into the living room eager to finish the captivating novel. Placing the softcover on his chair the older man went to get himself a drink before setting to task. He'd give Eddie another half hour. Just was Frank was about to pour the liquid something outside caught his eye, forcing him to the window.

Outside Eddie lay sprawled on the front lawn unmoving. Gasping Frank threw the front door open and raced towards her, oxygen line and all. He knelt beside the younger woman frank felt for a pulse, once he found one his training kicking in.

"Eddie, sweetheart hang on." Frank fished his phone out of his pants pocket and called for help. "This is former police commissioner Frank Reagan, I need a bus forthwith at 252 Bayview Terrace. I have Eddie Reagan unconscious."

 **A/N: So it seems Sean was a little too late, the damage was done and Eddie is in real trouble now. I know many of you feel like Jamie is getting the short end and he is. Thankfully, he loves his wife and all of Eddie's fears are just that as we will see in the coming chapters.**

 **Next Update – November 3** **rd** **– The family is notified, Frank has to physically retrieve Jamie who is not taking calls as he plans to romance his wife. Jamie digs in for the long haul.**


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty Nine

Frank positioned his oxygen mask on Eddie's face as he gently shook her trying to wake her up. Her body was limp and the pulse he did find was weak. The most disturbing thing for him was how shallow Eddie was breathing. "Hold on, sweetie,' Frank whispered. "A bus is coming, don't you go dying on me. I can't lose my daughter…"

When the bus arrived the found the 95 year old former commissioner kneeling by the still, prone woman. "Let us help her, Sir," the older of the two medics told Frank. "You riding with her?"

Frank nodded and took out his phone sending out a text to the family, "Eddie being rushed to hospital. Unresponsive."

Joey and Lila's phones both chirped with the message at the same time. Joey was on his way to a crime scene with Anse, but insisted his partner let him out and team up with another group of detectives. Joey's heart was sinking as he called Molly who agreed quickly to get a cover for her patient and meet Joey at the hospital.

Lila was next, she called her mother in law to meet her at the hospital then took off with the twins calling Steven as she drove, something she never did. When she reached her husband, it was all she could do not to cry as she told him the frightening news and asked him to come and be with her.

Lila burst onto the hospital floor juggling the twins in her arms, her eyes reflecting a deep scared twinkle. She rushed towards the waiting room stopping just inside the room immediately spotting Joey and Frank.

"Lil," Joe got up crossing over to comfort his sister with a tight hug before taking Reagan from her. He put the baby girl on his hip and watched her try to get his tie. Joey kissed the baby's head.

Frank also walked over wrapping an arm around his granddaughter's shoulders. "Lil," he mumbled unevenly, his own eyes teary.

"How is she Grandpa? What did the doctor say?" Lila asked scanning her grandfather's face for answers though she was scared what they might be.

"Sudden renal failure," Frank replied. "Her kidneys aren't functioning, so her body is eventually poisoning itself. I can't get a hold of your father, did he call either of you?"

Lila shook her head, "Did they say if she'll be okay?"

Joey rubbed his sister's shoulders, "Not looking good, kiddo. She's still unconscious and her blood levels are extremely high. We really need Dad here, they are going to want to start life sustaining measures on her and…he has to sign those papers."

"I'll get him here," Frank said with a determined gleam in his eye.

"Commissioner Reagan," Jamie's new assistant, Margaret Brooks said softly interrupting her cranky boss from a meeting when he explicitly told her he was not to be disturbed. She was pretty sure she would be transferred or outright fired but the former Commissioner was insisting she break in directly.

"Did I tell you that I did not wish to be disturbed?" Jamie was locked deep in a conversation that had the potential to clear Erin's name. Jamie and his investigative team had just cracked a paper trail pointing at another high profile name with an ax to grind.

"Yes, sir," Meg replied. "But, it's your wife…"

Jamie sighed, he had to talk to Eddie today and make this right, but not now, now he had to focus on his work. "I'll take care of it, Brooks, thank you. Not now, dismissed."

"But, Sir…" Brooks broke in.

"Brooks, I will deal with it later, please go," Jamie said firmly and turned his back. Shaking now, Brooks returned to her desk, "Commissioner, I'm sorry but the current Commissioner Reagan said he doesn't have time to come to the phone."

Lila watched as Frank slammed the telephone down so hard he nearly broke it. He looked to the trauma room where doctors were feverishly working on Eddie. Her doctors had been paged and Sean was en route with Dr. Rossiter, but it wasn't looking very good for his daughter. The initial exam showed she was in renal failure, severely dehydrated, and malnourished. Sean's intervention had been too late, it had bought her a few more days, but the damage was done.

"Is Daddy coming?" Lila asked as she paced with baby Reagan in her arms. She was waiting for her mother in law to come for the twins.

"No, he won't even come to the damn phone!" Frank growled. He took two long breaths so he wouldn't cough. "Where's the smoke eater?"

Lila looked at Steven who had just arrived with water and tea. "Steve, I need you to drive me to 1PP," Frank told him. "I am physically going to go up to the 14th floor and drag Jamie out by his ear. I need help."

Steven looked at his wife and his seriously ill mother in law, "What if she…"

"She won't," Frank said firmly. "I know she won't. Please Steven, Danny and Joey will be here until we get back. They can help if…"

"All right," Steven nodded and took Frank's arm. "We'll be back with your Dad, honey. Mom is ten minutes away, you hang in there."

Lila nodded, she was part Reagan and part Janko, a strong combination. She had to be strong now for her mother, it was in her, Lila was sure of it.

Frank stepped out of Steven's car wheeling his portal tank behind him. "Former Commissioner Reagan, I need to see the commissioner now." Frank showed his retired badge. "His wife is in critical condition and I need to bring him to her right now."

Two officers escorted Frank to the 14th floor and stood while a rattled Meg pushed the door open once more.

"Brooks!" Jamie snapped.

"I'm so sorry, Sir," Brook replied. "Your father is here with his badge and his tank and his presence…"

That got Jamie's attention. He stood and stepped out in the hall. "Dad?"

"It's Eddie, son. I found her collapsed outside the house, and it's bad. I texted you, I called you, now you are going to come with me NOW to be with your wife, this can wait. Jack can handle this."

"Dad, is she okay?" Jamie asked, feeling a sense of numbness settle in. "How is she?"

"She's in kidney failure, Sean and his colleague were on their way. We have to get you to Lutheran hospital now, come on." Frank put his arm around Jamie and headed back to Steven's car. Jamie didn't react, he obediently sat down inside Steven's car looking down at his ring.

Steven made short work of the drive back to Lutheran. He let Jamie and Frank off then went to park his car. Jamie's eyes fixed on Sean who was conferring with Dr. Rossiter. Jamie didn't see or acknowledge his children, his brother, or even his father.

Sean led Jamie wordlessly to the elevated. Jamie stepped onto the tenth floor where Eddie was being treated. Arriving at the room marked Eddie Reagan, Jamie went inside straight to the bed. Eddie lay with her head resting on two pillows, connected to machines helping monitor her blood pressure, temperature and heartbeat. The color drained from Eddie's face setting her dark circles glow brighter. There were two huge needles connected to her body and a large dialysis machine filtering her diseased blood.

"Eddie, oh Eddie," Jamie whispered taking her hand to kiss. With his free hand Jamie reached up to brush Eddie's cheek gently, watching her through teary eyes. "Eddie, wake up babe, you have to be okay."

"Uncle Jamie," Sean said gently. "She's not going to wake up right now. Aunt Eddie is very sick. Her kidneys have shut down so we're dialyzing her now to try to cleanse her body of the toxins that built up. She's dehydrated as well as malnourished. She wasn't eating properly for months. The harder news is that this put a strain on her heart as well as her kidneys. Her condition is very serious, these first hours are crucial."

Jamie didn't respond to Sean at all, he sat by Eddie's side. "Listen to me, Sweetheart," Jamie said gently. "I know I made my mistakes, I know you have no reason to want to stay with me, baby but I need you. I love you so much, our children love you so much. Our boy, he's going to want his Momma at his wedding…Don't die on me Eddie."

"Uncle Jamie…" Sean kept trying to get Jamie's attention. "Uncle Jamie, Lila and Joey want to come and see her. Can I have them in now?"

Finally Jamie looked at Sean, "Yes, but first I need a favor, please fix it so I don't leave her side. I left her to you, to Lila, when I should have been there. This is all my fault and I have to stay with her please?"

Sean sighed, "I'm going to be assisting on her care and conferring with doctor together with Dr. Rossiter. I'll get you a cot in here and you can be with her whenever she's not having a treatment okay. Let me send Joey and Lila in now."

Jamie took a seat beside Eddie waiting for their children. Lila ran to hug her father, she got scared when he came in and didn't acknowledge them. Jamie hugged Lila tight and snuggled her, "Mom's going to be okay, Kitten. I promise you. I'm going to get your mother back."

Joey reached down and touched Eddie's hand, "Mom, I'm here. We're both here, me and Lila and we're going to make sure Dad's good okay? You rest and get better because I want my wedding dance."

Jamie continued to hold Eddie's other hand and Lila at the same time. "She's deeply unconscious. I don't know if she can hear us. Sean said it's not just her kidneys, it's her heart, the readings are showing it's strained…"

Jamie rubbed Eddie's hand, "I'm going to stay with Mom every minute I can. Joey can you and Lila help with Grandpa and Joey can you pack a bag for me of my clothes and things. Lila, I'm going to make a list of things I want you to bring down for Moms' bed stand so we can make her stay a little more pleasant and help her come back to us."

"Of course Dad, anything you need," Joey replied smiling at Jamie gently. "Mom's a fighter, and she has what she needed all along."

Jamie sighed, "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault, all my fault, I didn't listen to her. She was telling me how much she needed me and I didn't listen. I hurt her so much, I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry."

Lila was the first to speak on Eddie's behalf, but she was also the first to comfort her Dad. "Mom's sick, Dad. And that made some of her perceptions different, it made what would be a passing feeling a major one…it's not all on you, Dad. Take a breath, we're gonna get her through this, we will."

Joey and Lila stepped out leaving Jamie alone again with Eddie. Jamie lowered the railing on the side of Eddie's bed opposite the dialysis machine. Carefully Jamie laid down beside Eddie, taking her into his arms, softly whispering, "I'm here, baby. I'm here…and I am not letting you go."

 **A/N: We all know that Jamie is not at fault, but in this crisis, he of course, is blaming himself. Eddie brought a lot of this one herself, but she definitely needs her loving family to turn it around. BTW, who loves Frank!**

 **I will be undergoing another surgery this coming week. I will be updating pre written stories and will try to update May We Make Him Proud the middle of next week.**

 **Next Update – November 6** **th** **– Jamie and the family keep vigil as Eddie slowly comes back to her family.**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter Forty

Jamie slept through the night holding Eddie in his arms. At no point that night did Eddie even stir. Jamie was awakened twice when Eddie was examined by nurses then for the final time when Dr. Rossiter came in to examine Eddie.

"Good morning, Commissioner," she greeted. "How did she do last night?"

"You tell me," Jamie replied. "She hasn't moved, she's not responding to my voice or my touch at all."

Dr. Rossiter looked over the Eddie's readings, "She's holding her own. Her heart rate is much better and her electrolytes are coming back into line, but her kidney function has still not improved, I'm sorry."

"Doctor, I need to know," Jamie said firmly. "I need to know the worst that can happen here. I need to hear if my wife is dying."

"I know this is hard," Sarah replied softly "I'm not sure you fully understand just yet what happened here. Much of your wife's condition was self-inflicted. By the time Sean brought me in to consult, I saw markers that were telling me that Eddie was not eating, not drinking enough, and was causing herself harm by over exerting herself. She was obsessed with her weight, and determined to fix it. What is going to be important, is restabilizing her body, finding a healthy balance in diet and fluid intake, and most of all revitalizing her self-image."

"This is all my fault," Jamie said with a particular degree of self-loathing. "She was lost, I knew she was lost but I was too consumed with my family name, my pride to take care of my wife. She was screaming for help and I just didn't' do it."

"I understand you're upset, but blaming yourself isn't helping Eddie," Sarah sighed. "What Eddie needs now is a lot of rest, time, and a great deal of love. I can see she has plenty of that."

"Is there anything that I can do for her while she's sleeping? I'm holding her but she's not responding."

"There's a tea I want Eddie to take several sips of every hour, it will help the body cleanse itself and get her off dialysis much faster," Sarah advised. "She's unconscious so it will be difficult but I think that you can get some into her with a baby dropper and some soft persuasion. That will be a big help and of course your presence here."

"I'm not going anywhere," Jamie said firmly. "I'm staying with her. Joey is bringing some clothes. I'm not leaving my wife's side."

Sarah smiled. "I"ll put it in my orders to give you some breakfast, lunch, and dinner and for you not to be disturbed. Give her 12 mLs of this tea every hour, that's four droppers full. I think you'll see some positive results."

Jamie nodded and got right to work, "All right, sweetheart, you have to take this tea now," Jamie told Eddie. "I'm going to drip some on your tongue, you can hear me, I know you can so you give me a good swallow when you feel it on there."

Jamie dropped the tea, holding Eddie's head up. He gently tickled Eddie's chin to coax her to swallow. Jamie beamed when he felt her throat contract. "That's my girl, you drink this up for me, sweetheart."

Just afternoon, Lila poked her head into the room. "Hey, I brought bagels with lox and tomato, hot coffee, and orange juice."

"Thanks Kitten," Jamie replied. "Did Joey get my things so I can change?"

"Yes, he's bringing that over later. I have some photos and a couple of Mom's nighties, her favorite socks, Sean says even when she wakes up this is going to be a long stay."

Jamie nodded, "Thanks, uh, let's put the….When did you get pregnant again?"

"Oh," Lila laughed. "I'm not pregnant, it's Finn." Lila opened her coat to reveal a chubby, barefoot baby boy. "He lost a sock in the hallway."

Jamie smiled, "You snuck him in here?"

"I thought you could hold him for a bit while I'm setting up the room. You can't get too upset either. When Mom wakes up she's going to need all of us," Lila said taking out pictures.

"I'll set the pictures up in a bit," Jamie replied. "Please give me the baby for a minute."

Lila handed Finn to Jamie who bounced the boy on his knee. "Say hi to grandma, Finn," Jamie told him. "Look, grandma's hand, you do nice on her hand?"

Jamie moved Finn's teeny hand on Eddie's limp one. "Yes, that's grandma, we have to tell grandma we love her very much. Can you tell grandma you love her very much?"

Finn kicked his legs and babbled. "I think that's as good as he gets," Lila laughed. "Dad, why didn't you come to the phone when Grandpa called? That's been bothering me a little bit."

Jamie sighed, "I thought Mom was calling on the phone, not grandpa. I planned to pick her up from Sean's and take her off for a nice dinner down the park, just the two of us…I know I need to step it up. I didn't want to talk to her and ruin the surprise. My plan backfired, now it looks like I don't even care…"

Lila slid her arm around Jamie, "Anyone with eyes can see you care, Daddy. Let Mom know how much you love her." Lila kissed Jamie's head, "Grandpa is waiting to see her, then we'll leave you two alone."

Jamie nodded and waited for his father to come in. Frank slowly walked into the room stopping to observe his son. Jamie gently took Eddie's hand in his sighing at her unmoving presence. "Babe, please."

It broke Frank's heart seeing his boy hurting over the health of his wife. He crossed over, placing a hand on Jamie's shoulder just to let him know he was there.

The whole time Jamie never took his eyes off the bed. "She hasn't moved dad, I need her to be okay," Jamie croaked watching Eddie.

"I know son," Frank pulled up the extra chair bride his youngest, reaching out to gently squeeze Eddie's hand. "She'll be okay son, let's pray for strength."

Jamie held Eddies hand while Frank touched her eyes, closing their eyes. "Oh lord we are asking for your guidance in being strong for our Eddie and remain together through this as you would want," Frank spoke.

Jamie smiled up at Frank, "I just need her to wake up and tell me she forgives me, that we can move on from this rough patch and make our life together again."

"You will," Frank replied. "When I found her all I thought about was you and how hard this would be. There's nothing like watching a loved one suffer, you know that better than anyone. I need to go, I have to watch my lungs but if you need me, Jamie, I'll be here." Frank stood slowly and leaned over Eddie, "I love you, sweetheart. Come on back to us…" Frank gently kissed Eddie's brow.

When Frank left, Jamie looked at the pictures that she had brought from home. The first was their wedding picture. Jamie remembered that like yesterday. Eddie in a gorgeous gown, her golden locks partially up accentuating her crown and lace veil. The rest of her hair was down around her shoulders. When Jamie looked at his wife today, he saw that beauty, that grace in her still.

"The happiest day of my life," Jamie replied. "The day I made you my wife. You were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. When I lol at you now, I see that beautiful bride...I know I changed a little for you, grey hair and baggy eyes, but I see the woman I fell in love with."

Jamie took out the next picture, "Oh, this one…this is when we brought home our Joey. Can you believe he was ever that tiny? You know what I really remember though? You holding him in the hospital bed minutes after he was born, you were nursing him…that was one of the most beautiful sights of my life…Let's put this one close so you can see it when you wake up?"

There were several more photos, Lila's first birthday, and Jamie's favorite, a picture of him with Eddie, sitting at the table during Lila's wedding. They were holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes. "Remember when I resized your rings and we said our vows again, I meant them. I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm sorry I didn't hear you until it was almost too late. Please say it's not too late baby…"

Jamie kissed Eddie's left ring finger then took the book she had been reading. Jamie found her bookmark and began to read to her from the mystery novel until he was hoarse.

Jamie remained by Eddie's side holding her while trying to softly coax her awake. Other than infrequent trips to the bathroom Jamie refused to leave. Joey had brought his clothes. Jamie gave Joey a few minutes to hold his Mom while Jamie hung his clothes in the hospital closet beside Eddie's.

"Don't overdo it Dad," Joey warned. "Mom won't want you making yourself sick, okay? That's part of what put her in here in the first place."

"She's here in the first place because I'm a lousy husband, or I was being a lousy husband," Jamie sighed. "You take notes on this, Joey. Don't do what I did. Don't get so secure in your marriage you take it for granted. Your mother was so lost and I never realized I had to find her until it was too late. Now look at her."

Joey squeezed Jamie's shoulder, "She's going to be okay. You have to believe that. You focus on the two of you, Jack's got control over everything at the office and Aunt Linda and Uncle Danny have grandpa. Aunt Erin is coming to back up Lila and to finish giving her statement, she wants this closed so you can focus on Mom and the wedding come up."

Jamie smiled, "You hear that Eddie, it's all going to be better okay. It's time for your medication now." Jamie focused his attention on the eye dropper and Eddie, dripping the tea into her mouth. "Thanks for coming, Joey. I'll call you later."

Joey watched Jamie tend to Eddie, his father was gone, his attention now totally focused on his mother getting her to take the concoction that Sean's friend cooked up. Joey kissed Eddie's head and Jamie's cheek, "I love you guys, I'll come by with Molly later."

Jamie nodded and offered a small smiled before getting back to the task at hand.

The next morning, Jamie once again sat on Eddie's bed holding her around the waist to whisper in her ear. "Eddie I need you so much babe please wake up." Jamie slept on and off the night before, intermittently he spoke softly in Eddie's ear asking her to wake up. "Please honey, just for a minute. I know you must hurt."

As if to reward his persistence, Eddie's eyes fluttered slowly at first until they finally opened meeting his gaze.

"Eddie," Jamie almost cried in a happy shock, leaning down to hug her carefully. "Thank God, oh thank God."

When he pulled back Jamie noticed the faraway look in Eddie's blue eyes. Jamie gently turned her face to look at him, "Eddie, it's Jamie, honey. I'm right here with you sweetheart, I'm right here with you."

"Jam…" Eddie voice was hoarse. Her throat hurt and scratched as she spoke. "Jamie…" The word died on a moan of pain. "Oh…my back…"

"I know," Jamie soothed. "I know, let me get your doctor. I'm just calling her and then I'm coming right back. Just one minute, I promise."

Jamie told a passing nurse Eddie was awake and complaining of pain. The nurse promised to page Dr. Rossiter. Jamie moved back to Eddie's side, "Take a sip of this tea, this tea has been helping you. Just a tiny sip."

Eddie sipped the tea then weakly sank back onto the pillow. "What happened? I…What am I doing here?"

Jamie wet a cloth and dabbed Eddie's face. "You fainted at the house, Dad found you."

"Frank…Jamie I…"

Jamie pulled Eddie close, "Ssh, hush now, it's not important. What's important is how you feel."

Eddie let the tears flow, "It hurts…my whole body…Jamie…"

"The doctor is coming, baby, I promise," Jamie whispered and climbed into bed with Eddie again to hold her tight. "Remember having our Joey, I laid with you like this when it hurt. Hold onto me…just hold onto me until she comes."

Eddie shut her eyes, labor pain and cancer pain paled in comparison, but she heeded Jamie's gentle words and held on.

 **A/N: So Eddie is awake and Jamie was right by her side. Perhaps that little trip down memory lane is helping them both.**

 **Next Update – November 9** **th** **– Eddie begins to make strides toward recovery.**


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter Forty One

Dr. Rossiter was pleased Eddie was awake but displeased by the amount of pain. "There's still very high levels of toxins in her blood, that's leading to the pain," the doctor explained to Jamie after putting Eddie out of her misery with some willow bark tea and a shot of muscle relaxants. "I'm going to keep her under another day or two to manage the pain and soreness then bring her back to us and allow her recovery to continue."

Jamie sighed, "So she's gone again, back into being unconscious?"

"It's best for her right now, she's suffering in pain and that is straining her heart," Sean comforted. "Right now, her heart levels are on the rebound, when she was awake it was under strain and that's not good for her state right now."

Jamie nodded, "Can you sit with her while I use the bathroom, then please call your Dad, Joe, and Lila and tell them what's going on. I'm going to stretch then have a seat and stay close."

"Of course, Uncle Jamie," Sean replied as Jamie almost sprinted to the bathroom having held it for hours while he nursed Eddie through pain and confusion of first waking up.

"He's so dedicated to her," Sarah sighed. "It's too bad really that she's in this state, it's still very touch and go."

Jamie heard Sarah's words as he sat once again at his wife's bedside. "Wait a minute, she woke up and you said that if she woke up…"

"Yes, her chances are much better now, but she's still very ill and will remain so until her body is nourished and her kidneys either refire or get used to the dialysis and filter the toxins. Until she is free of those toxins, her heart can fail at any minute. It's still very precarious."

Jamie sucked in a breath, "Well, I'm not leaving her, not for a minute." Jamie took his place by Eddie's bedside and took one of her hands in both of his.

Sarah and Sean made their way to the door, leaving husband and wife alone. Sean stepped out to call his parents and his cousins and update them on Eddie's condition. He left out to the part about it being touch and go, he didn't feel that was necessary to tell anyone but his uncle. If Jamie wanted to share that bit of concern it would be up to him. As Sean stepped back into the hospital room to check in before he left he heard his uncle speaking softly.

On an impulse, Sean took out his phone and began to film this moment. It would serve as a nice memory later when the crisis had passed. Jamie's head was bowed, his forehead resting on the side of Eddie's bed. "I know I screwed up, baby," Jamie sighed. "Somehow, I let you start to think that you were less important to me than my work, than my sister, than everything and I am so sorry for that. I'm sorry that I started to believe that your medications were changing you, that I wasn't listening when you were trying to call out to me. Eddie if you don't pull through this…I won't forgive myself and I won't be able to move on. I need you, I know I failed you when you needed me, but I promise you I am here now and I will not fail you again…"

Jamie shoulders slumped and began to shake as he cried into the sheets. This was his fault, he failed to hear his wife's cry for his help. He never failed that at any other time before in their partnership or their marriage, not even when Eddie was fighting for her life against cancer. This had to turn around, he had to get another chance. He had to.

The dialysis did its work over the next three days and each time Eddie was awake, she felt better. The pain was less and less as was the confusion. On her fourth day in the hospital, she woke to Jamie holding her in his arms, sound asleep. Eddie reached out and pushed the call button. When the nurse appeared, an older woman close to Eddie's own age, she smiled, "It's good to see you up. How are you feelings?"

"My back is sore and I really have to go to the bathroom," Eddie told her as Jamie stirred hearing his wife's voice. "Eddie? What do you need?"

"A catheter, Commissioner," the nurse replied. "It seems that your wife's kidneys are functioning again. Will you step out please?"

Jamie shook his head, "Nope, I'll just stay out of the way. I don't want to leave my wife."

Jamie held Eddie's hand while the nurse placed the foley and Eddie was able to drain her bladder. "Very good," the nurse replied as she recorded he output. "Let me bring you a tray for dinner."

The nurse wheeled in a tray of food in front of Eddie smiling when Jamie stood to lift the bed so Eddie sat up.

Eddie stared at the food making a face at it. "You have to eat Eddie, I'll feed you. I know it's hard."

Using the knife and fork Jamie cut her food into pieces, bringing the fork up to her mouth slowly. When a bit of sauce smeared when Eddie turned away Jamie used the napkin to carefully clean her lip meeting her eyes.

"Eddie," Jamie pleaded. "Baby you have to eat, we need you to get your strength back so your kidneys kick back in and you can go home." When Eddie kept her face away Jamie sighed putting the fork back down.

Before he could plead again Sean walked in recognizing the look on his face. "Hey Uncle Jamie, Aunt Eddie how are you feeling?"

"Your aunt won't eat," Jamie stated with frustration.

Sean turned to his aunt shaking his head. "Aunt Eddie you're sick and weak, your body needs nutrition. The same nutrition that you denied it for who knows how long until you go so sick you nearly died. No, if you don't eat the food that is here for you to eat, I'll ask Dr. Rossiter to put in a tube down your nose to force you to do it. There is no more discussion, I'm not letting you die."

"Sean, stop!" Jamie stared shocked at his nephew's strategy seeing Eddie needing more tender care then firm tough love. Eddie's face crumbled and she began to sob, turning toward Jamie. Jamie put his arms around her and held her tight. "No one is putting anything in your nose, sweetheart, I promise but you have to eat honey. You have to eat for me so you can get well and come home to our house."

"But…" Eddie protested weakly falling against Jamie. "I…"

Sean sighed, "I'm sorry I upset you Aunt Eddie, I really am. You need to start to eat, your kidneys are starting to show signs of coming back, you cannot starve yourself again. If you don't eat, I'll force you, I am not losing my favorite aunt to her own foolishness." This time Sean's voice was soft as he caressed Eddie's hair.

"He's right, sweetheart, you are turning this around, you have to put some food in your mouth."

Eddie saw this was a losing battle, "Can it not be that?" she asked in a small voice still close to Jamie.

"It doesn't have to be that," Sean admitted. "What do you want? Maybe some nice chicken and corn…What about chicken salad on those corn cakes you like? Would you eat that for us?"

Eddie consented to that meal, Sean went off to get it while Jamie stroked her hair. "Let me sit up there and hold you more, okay? I know you're upset, I know you were trying to reach out to me…"

Eddie moved so Jamie could get on the bed and hold her. It felt so incredible to have his arms around her, rocking her, cuddling her, it was like old times again. Jamie kissed Eddie's head as she looked around her private room for the first time since she was admitted almost five days ago. "What's all this?" Eddie asked sniffling seeing all the pictures and home items surrounding her.

"Oh, this is home," Jamie replied. "Sean said you'd be here for a while, so I thought you'd like to have a very nice piece of home. Look here…" Jamie reached for the picture of them at Joey's communion. "Do you remember this day? It was one of the happiest days of our marriage. You were almost well from the cancer, our Joey was making his communion…I hope that soon we'll have another day like that. Joey's wedding to Molly…every time we go to a wedding I remember our wedding…" Jamie kissed Eddie's hair as Sean returned with the food.

The younger man saw Jamie was working hard to reconnect with Eddie so he quietly slid out of the room leaving the couple to eat. "Here's our wedding," Jamie said showing Eddie that photo. "You were the most beautiful bride I have ever seen."

"Far cry from now," Eddie mumbled feeling tears prick her eyes. She began to play with the food on her plate instead of eating it.

"Eddie stop that, eat your chicken," Jamie encouraged. "I need you feeling better and getting stronger, sweetie."

Eddie picked up her fork and took a bite as Jamie readily chatted to her about the photos. "Lila chose the photos, a nice mix of our life together. This is another of my favorites, the one of us at Lila's wedding right after I put your rings back on your hand…"

Eddie smiled at that memory and continued eating slowly. When Jamie finished his meal he laughed, "Lila smuggled them both in here a few times and every time, every single time, Finn comes in with one sock on and one sock off…"

Eddie laughed, "He's something else. I do miss them so much, I…"

Jamie moved to hug Eddie then noticed her plate was empty, "Well, you keep doing like you are my love and you'll be home with the sooner than you know it. You ate your entire plate, good job!"

Instead of smiling though, Eddie's face fell. Jamie waited for her to speak but when she didn't he pressed, "What's the matter, talk to me. I promise this time I am listening with both ears and my whole heart."

Eddie swallowed, "You're going to go now, and I don't want you to go…"

Seeing Eddie so upset Jamie wrapped his arms around her and rocked her slowly. "I'm not going anywhere if you need me babe."

"I need you with me Jamie," Eddie pleaded, resting her head on his chest while shifting into him. "I…need you, I need my husband."

Tightening his arms around her waist, Jamie leaned over kissing her head, letting his head rest on top of Eddie's. "Ssh it's okay baby, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I love you more than anything Eddie.

"Eddie look at me." When Eddie didn't look up Jamie placed his hand under her chin lifting her head to look at him. "Edit Marie, you are my world and I will do everything to prove that to you."

Eddie sighed and sniffled, the words sounded nice and she wanted so much to believe him. Eddie looked around, seeing the photos, Jamie's clothing in the closet…he had moved in here with her at least while she was sick, but what would happen after remained to be seen. For now, she would enjoy Jamie's arms and scent, it was a comfort to her when they first met and it was a comfort still. As Eddie began to doze off, she felt Jamie move closer to her instead of slipping away. Eddie's final thought as she dozed off was of Jamie and how much she wanted to fix what had been so badly broken.

 **A/N: Kristen is doing better from her procedure a few days ago and is so glad to see so many folks wishing her well and reviewing this mammoth story. She is hoping to post the next update herself and to provide you with a note directly from her.**

 **Next Update – November 12** **th** **– Eddie apologizes to her family for her missteps, Jamie weighs his career decisions.**


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter Forty Two

"Hey, how you feeling Mom?" Joey asked as he came into Eddie's hospital room. It had been two days since Jamie and Eddie had made their first break through. Jamie still had not left Eddie's side unless she had sent him for a specific type of food. He showered at the hospital, slept with his wife in his arms, and had not looked at work for the last six days.

"Hey, honey," Eddie greeted opening her arms to her son. "I feel better, I missed you so much. Are you okay?"

"Working hard," Joey replied. "Another tough case."

"You do work too hard, you should take a little time for you and Molly before your wedding. As soon as I'm out of here we'll push things out for the wedding."

"Molly and I want you to take care of you and be at the wedding," Joey replied as Lila stepped into the room. "Mom, you look good!"

Eddie smiled, "Liar. I feel better though and I missed you so much."

"We missed you," Lila replied and hugged Eddie. "I was so scared…I'm just so happy to see you sitting up and not in so much pain. Where's Daddy?"

"He is getting that good seafood salad from down the corner," Eddie replied. "I had a craving for a wrap made from that. Dr. Rossiter says my kidney function is at half already and maybe another week of rest and good food I can finish convalescing at home."

Joey and Lila exchanged looks, "You go first," Lila prodded.

"No, you," Joey pressed. "You're the social work student…"

"What is it?" Eddie asked. "Is something going on with your father?"

Joey sighed, "Dad's great. He's doing well health wise and he's so glad you're getting better but Mom…Lila and I really want to kind of address what you were doing to yourself. We can't and won't stand by and allow you to starve yourself and make yourself sick. We want to tell you that if you feel like you can't live with Dad, if you two can't make it work, that we will have you with us that you can come and live with one of us indefinitely."

Eddie sighed, her thinking was much clearer with the regimen of medications and teas being administered by Dr. Rossiter. "Dad and I had a tough patch, some of the things he was doing were inconsiderate and in my state of mind I was very inconsiderate of him. The last couple days we talked well and more important, we listened well. I think it's going to be okay. I'm so sorry for how I acted. I love you and your father so…"

Joey bit his lip and finally broke down, "Mom…"

Eddie reached for her boy, "I know Joey. I know…I'm so sorry, baby boy…I'm so sorry…"

Eddie began to cry holding both of her children. She had hurt them so much and Jamie as well.

Jamie returned from the deli to find both of his kids on the hospital bed, in their mother's arms, all three in tears. That brought back some powerful memories from twenty years ago. "Deja vous," Jamie whispered as he stepped back into the room. "I remember finding this way too often." Jamie moved closer to Eddie's bed and kissed her cheek.

Eddie reached up and held onto Jamie's hand. "Jamie, I want you to hear this too," she sniffled. "I am so sorry for what I did. I hurt myself and I hurt all of you. I'm not sorry for what happened to me, but I am so sorry for what it did to all of you."

Jamie took a breath, steadfast and firm. "Eddie, this is not your fault, okay. You do not have to be sorry, all you have to do is get better and come home to us."

Eddie nodded, "I was trying so hard. I want Joe to be proud of me on his wedding day, not have to be embarrassed when his friends see the groom's mother. Jamie, I don't blame you for hiring a pretty blond compared to what you had at home…"

Jamie moaned as if in pain, it hurt so badly to hear Eddie say those things about herself. "Eddie, I didn't notice her. I know how stupid that sounds but I didn't notice her. All I can see…" Jamie reached for the wedding picture. "Is this. When I look at you, this is what I see. This beautiful determine woman who fought like Hell to survive. I don't see extra pounds or sallow cheeks, I see this beautiful woman that I love and that I married. I didn't notice her."

The tone in Jamie's voice convinced Eddie that at least he believed that. She didn't feel good enough, not yet.

Jamie put his arms around Eddie, "It's time for Mom to eat now if you kids want to stay that's fine but I want her to be eating her food now."

Jamie set up Eddie's dinner, she set to eating her portion and drinking one of her teas.

"We're just worried, Dad," Joey told Jamie later while Lila helped Eddie wash up a little bit. "We just wanted her to know we weren't taking sides, if she felt like she had to leave you, she had us. I'm sorry for going around you that way."

"No, it's all right, Joseph," Jamie replied. "Mom needs love right now, Dr. Rossiter even said that she attributes her recovery to all of us being with her, to my sleeping here and devoting all this time to her. I'm glad you told her what you did."

"We almost lost her," Joey sighed. "We almost lost her to something really stupid. Lila and Grandpa are still shaken up by it. Dad, I have to ask you this, are you putting your papers in? Are you going to retire like Mom wants?"

Jamie took a breath, "Aunt Erin has been working with detectives all week to clear up this scandal with her bank records, Sean's rapist, thanks to you and Anse, has been caught. Yes, I think it is the right time and there's no better reason to retire given that your mother needs my attention and care."

"Personally, I'm glad," Joey replied. "Not for anything to do with me and my career, you did a lot better than the stories I heard about from Uncle Danny and you about Grandpa. I'm glad because the stress of this job is just ridiculous in this day and age. I understand why Mom gets so worried, she wants you to be healthy and enjoy life with her."

"I know," Jamie sighed. "I do know…Life is so short, Joe. It's so precious, so you make sure you don't make my mistakes okay?"

"Dad, I want to be just like you were. I want to love my wife without condition, I want to see the Molly I have now when she's sixty, I want my kids to know I love them no matter what. Even when were had such terrible fights, Dad, I knew you loved me."

Jamie reached out and held Joey in his arms, "I love you son. Just...don't make your wife question your love. Nothing hurts more than watching the woman you love wonder if she counts. Trust me on that."

Joey nodded, "I promise Dad."

Lila stepped out of the hospital room, "Dad, she's asking for you. She's very tired now from showering, it about did her in on the energy front."

Jamie smiled, "I'll go in, I'll see you two tomorrow. Lila, ask Sean to see if Dr. Rossiter will let the twins visit. That might be a push for Mom's spirits too."

"I will," Lila promised and gave Jamie a big hug before leaving with her brother.

"So, Dad says he's going to put his papers in, so we'll have both parents at home and able to focus on their health. Lil, do you have any friends who have parents with health issues like ours?"

Lila shook her head, "No, Mom and Dad aren't that old, but mom had cancer and that clinically strains the heath of everyone involved. Dad's always been high strung but unlike Uncle Danny he internalizes everything so it's no surprise. You, brother dear, better watch that, you internalize a lot too."

Joey set his arm around his sister, "Steven home with the twins?"

Lila nodded, "Yeah, you want to call Molly and have her come over?"

"You read my mind sis, I'll call her and you can even order the Indian food you love so much."

Lila crinkled her nose, "I don't like Indian food."

"You did when you were pregnant," Joey reminded her.

"Joe, I liked to eat raw lemon when I was pregnant…with milk!"

Joey laughed, "We'll get Italian…"

Jamie smiled when he entered Eddie's room. "You feel better after a nice hot shower?" Jamie asked sitting down and giving her a kiss.

"I do, my muscles were sore from this bed. The doctors said I can get up and start moving around a little more tomorrow, start to get my strength back. It was good talking to the kids."

"I'm sure," Jamie replied. 'We have amazing kids. They have an amazing Mom."

Eddie looked up at Jamie, "They didn't do so bad in the dad lottery either. You're nothing if not a terrific dad. Joe worships you, he looks up to you so much."

Jamie blushed, "He's still your son, don't forget that. Speaking of your son, Joey and I just had a good long talk about retirement." Jamie sat down and took Eddie's hand in his. "I told him that Erin has been working to resolve her issues with the DA, we got Sean's rapist and she plead guilty, there is nothing holding me back from informing the Mayor that after his election this fall, or the election of a new mayor, there will need to be a new person, preferably Jack sitting it the big black chair. What do you think about that?"

Eddie couldn't keep the smile off her face, "Oh, I think that would be precious. You'll be able to retire and get some rest, on your terms. We can enjoy the children, the grandchildren…the time we have left with your dad and each other…" Eddie looked down, "That is if you…"

"I do," Jamie replied. "I promised you until death, I meant until death. I need you to stop doubting me, love. I know you have to work it out in your head. I know you have to see me keeping my words to you again…I will."

Eddie leaned her head on Jamie's shoulder, she wanted to believe him. Jamie slid his arms around Eddie and turned her TV on low for white noise. There were no more words, none were necessary. Eddie felt her eye grow heavy and her body melt into the bed and her husband's arms. On a whisper, in the last brief moments of consciousness, Eddie mentioned what was in her heart, "I love you, Jamie," she almost slurred then gave in to sleep.

Jamie's eyes filled with tears hearing his wife whisper those precious words. He closes his eyes in a silent prayer of thanksgiving that maybe this hard time was finally behind them. "I love you too," Jamie replied hoping his soft words reached Eddie in the recesses of sleep, just as hers had always reached him, not from voice to ear, but from heart to heart.

 **A/N: There you have it. I know most of you have been upset at Eddie but slowly she is starting to realize how much responsibility she had in this as her health comes back on line. The story is nearly completed, looking to be about 53 chapters so we have some left yet. Thanks for reading.**

 **Next Update – November 15** **th** **– Jamie and Danny talk temptation over beers while Joey shows Eddie proof of Jamie's devotion.**


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter Forty Three

"So Eddie finally let you out of her sight huh?" Danny only half joked as he sat down with his kid brother for a beer on Friday night.

"Eddie's feeling much better and she' s with Lila tonight. She wanted me to get out and get some air. I think Joey's going to stop by before he goes home and if things go well, I'll take her home tomorrow morning. I can't thank Sean enough for all he's done to save her."

"Eddie did a lot of the work too," Danny replied. "And so did you. I thought we were going to have to take you out in cuffs to get you to leave that room."

Jamie took a sip of his beer. "I left her too often for things not was important. I told this to Sean and to Dr. Rossiter, my wife was crying out for my help and attention and I didn't give it to her. It would have served me right if she didn't pull out of this, she'd have peace but I would live with the same torment I heaped on her for the last year."

"Come on, Jamie, you are probably the best husband I know. You're damn sure better than I am" Danny replied.

"Don't sell yourself short, you're married almost fifty years that is nothing to sneeze at. Come to think of it, Linda never up and left you either."

"No, no she didn't, but Sean explained how off Eddie's body chemistry was. It has to mess with her mind, and if your eyes were roving…"

"They weren't," Jamie assured him. "I can't believe even you Danny!"

"What? You're a red blooded American man. Sure, you love your wife, I love Linda too but surely in thirty years of marriage you've looked, you've been tempted."

"Nope," Jamie said firmly looking Danny straight in the eye. "Never, not in the least. What you have?"

Danny shrugged his shoulders, "Looking not touching," he replied. "Your last assistant was hotter than…Surely you at least fantasized about her."

"Danny, God, what do you take me for?" Jamie asked. "What I have in Eddie is a soulmate, I've always known that so what would I be fantasizing about? What are you telling me you did?"

Danny shrugged and blushed, revealing that he did in fact have fantasies about other women.

"Who?" Jamie needled surprised that Danny had done this. "I won't tell Linda, I promise."

"Jackie," Danny admitted. "Mostly Jackie we had the closest relationship and she was something. I mean she was really something. We had a connection." Danny sipped his beer.

"But Linda is your wife," Jamie stated the obvious. "How could you…"

"How could you not?" Danny asked "It's just in the brain not in the heart…"

"To me it's the same thing" Jamie replied. "Even when Eddie was as bald and weak as a newborn bird I never thought of another woman, I never fantasized about another woman. Eddie is and always will be the only one in my heart and on my mind. Still, not everyone has this marriage, this marriage is rare."

Danny nodded, "Mine is terrific, solid, secure, but yours is on another level. I know that's what hurt you so much with those accusations, choir boy really never did notice a blonde bombshell right under his nose. That is kind of pathetic actually."

Jamie scoffed and finished his beer, "Game of darts before we go?"

"Yeah, you're on, half blind but I'll still beat you. Twenty bucks on it?"

"Fifty says you can't score half of what I do," Jamie challenged.

Danny clapped him on the back, 'You're on!"

"There you go," Jessica, Eddie's night nurse for the last two weeks said with a smile. "You did really well, almost managed that whole shower by herself your mother did." Jessica helped Eddie sit in the bed and Eddie got her own legs into the bed.

Lila smiled moving to fluff Eddie's pillows, "I'm so glad Mom. Do you think Dr. Rossiter is still going to discharge Mom tomorrow?"

"I think she is," Jessica replied. "Your husband will be so glad. You are one lucky girl, you know."

"Oh?" Eddie asked.

Jessica laughed, "He only has eyes for you. You were pretty out of it much of the first week you were here. He never left your side for a second. He even went to the bathroom in here. I have seen a lot of husbands and wives over my years as a nurse and I have never seen a spouse quite like this. He is so devoted to you, like I said lucky girl."

Jessica winked and disappeared from the room. Eddie looked over at Lila, "Is that true?"

"Yes," Lila replied. "It is. I had to sneak Finn and Reagan in here to get him to sit back in chair and take a few breaths. It looked really bad there for a while Mom. I need you to promise me that no matter how hard things get you will come to me or Joey, you will not starve yourself again. Please promise that. This nearly killed you and it nearly killed Dad too."

Eddie sighed, "I know that Dad loves me, I doubted it but all of the time that he spent here with me, all of the time he gave up…it's his attraction to me that I still question, but at our age how important is attraction anyway?"

"Mom," Lila sighed. "You were very ill. Your kidneys and your medications made you so off kilter that you could not judge for yourself. It's okay, no one holds it against you, but your my mom, I need you so I need you to promise me to take much better care of yourself."

Eddie smiled, "I do promise, I really promise honey. Where my babies tonight?"

"With Aunt Linda and Grandpa," Eddie replied. "He is still really shaken up. He misses you so much."

"I'll be home tomorrow and we'll have family dinner on Sunday," Eddie smiled. "Come here and show me those pictures of the babies. Did Reagan really roll over all on her own?"

Lila beamed with pride, "She's about two milestones ahead of him."

"That's normal," Eddie sighed. "Boys are behind girls usually, it doesn't mean anything. She'll potty train at least six month ahead of him. How are things with Steven going?"

Lila sighed, "Good. He's helping a lot more and we make time once a week for us. I'll be glad when you are up to taking care of the twins though, Maura calls twelve times when she has them six times for each baby."

Eddie laughed, "I'll be back in the saddle again soon and Dad is going to retire after the election, did he tell you?"

Lila smiled, "He told me. This really scared him, Mom. We all love you and need you."

Eddie offered a smile, Lila read her like a book. "Rest your eyes a little okay? You want a gingerale?"

A soda sounded nice, "Yes and maybe one of those bags of pretzels. On second thought, your brother is stopping by, we can have a snack together."

Joe arrived shortly after to check on how his mother was feeling. Before he could go inside, Lila met him caught up with him in the hallway. Joe stopped when he saw the serious look on her face. "What's wrong Lil?"

Lila gently guided her brother a few feet further from the door so their mom would not hear them. "I've been talking to mom Joe and she…"

"Lil, is she okay?" Joe snapped his gaze going through the window to check on his mom. Eddie was playing with her wedding ring.

"Physically, yes, but mentally…Joey, she is still very insecure no matter what is said or done, she's still questioning if Dad wants to be with her or if it was just for her being sick…" Lila met her brother's eyes worry over the state of her mother's' health and what it might do to their father.

Sighing Joe enveloped his sister for a tight hug. "It's okay Lil, I'll go talk to her okay. I'll think I have some visual evidence that might help her get past those final doubts." Lila buried her head against her big brother needing the comfort.

Lila called Linda to check on the twins and Frank while Joey went into Eddie's room. "How are you feeling, Mom?" he asked giving her a warm hug. "Ready to blow this popsicle stand?"

Eddie nodded, "It'll be good to be in my own bed again for sure."

"Yes, Dad will really be glad to have you back at home," Joey smiled.

Eddie gave a noncommittal shrug. "He's done a lot since I've been in the hospital but he was frightened, I don't think..."

"Mom, I thought that at first too that he was more focused because he was scared, but Sean emailed me something, a video he shot the second night you were here that I want you to see. You know dad better than anyone, you'll be able to tell if his actions are really genuine."

Joey sat on the bed next to Eddie and turned on the video attached to his phone. Jamie's hunched back and shoulders filled the screen as he leaned over Eddie with machines attached to various part of a very fragile body. Jamie appeared to be praying, but when Eddie looked closer she saw her hand cradled between both of his. "I need you, baby," he whispered softly. "And I promise if you fight this, if you fight as hard as you ever have to come back to me I will spend so much more of my time focusing on what's important. On our love and on our life together. I lost sight of that, I took things for granted...I..." Jamie's voice broke and he began to cry. The video continued several more minutes. When it ended, Eddie was also crying.

"We all love and need you, Mom," Joey replied. "If I did something, if Lila did...I'm sorry. Please, whatever you need to do, please make it so that you believe us. It hurts that you think..."

Eddie turned to her son and cupped his cheeks. "I know it hurts...I'm sorry baby boy...I really couldn't I'm so sorry..."

Joey cradled his mom and signaled Lila to come back in. Both kids sat holding onto Eddie who had finally accepted with a clear mind that she only hated herself, that the feeling was not mutual from her husband or her children. She could live with self-loathing, it was their disgust, even imagined that hurt her heart. "We're so lucky, Mom," Lila whispered. "That you are still here."

Eddie nodded, "I promise. Where's Dad? Is he coming back tonight?"

"He said he was, that you kicked him out..." Lila began worrying that Eddie had forgotten.

"Oh I know, I told him it didn't matter if he slept at home but I would really like to talk to him. Joey do you think if you call you'll frighten him?"

Joey thought, his father was hypersensitive about his Mom. "Let me call Uncle Danny just to be safe okay?"

Eddie nodded, she looked at both of her children. She was so proud of who they had become.

Lila headed home to relieve Linda, and Joey waited until Jamie arrived. Eddie was dozing off, so Joey read a magazine until he saw his father's image in the doorway.

"Hey," Jamie whispered. "How did she do?"

"She's tired, they showered her earlier. Lila said she did most of it by herself…"

"Good," Jamie smiled. "Go home to your girl. We'll see you tomorrow okay?"

Joey hugged his Dad and slipped out the door. "Oh, Eddie…" Jamie sighed elevating his bad leg. "Sleeping beauty…"

Eddie felt the bed shift and opened her eyes. "Hey…you have fun with Danny?"

Jamie smiled, "Yeah, it was fun to kick his butt in darts even if he is half blind. Go back to sleep, honey."

Eddie heard the pinched tone in Jamie's voice. "You're in pain, your leg?"

Jamie shrugged, "It's okay. I was on it a little too much and it swelled."

"Take off your shoe and brace and I'll rub it for you."

It had been a long time since Jamie felt Eddie's soft hand on his aching leg. Carefully Jamie moved closer to the bed, removed his shoe and brace and placed the offending limb within his wife's reach. Eddie peeled the sock off and softly started to rub the hot flesh. "Oh, that feel so good. That feels good…"

"I know. I know it hurts," Eddie sighed. "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you Jamie. I'm sorry I was so selfish. I missed you, I miss us and that special thing we have…I…"

Jamie reached out to cup Eddie's cheek, "Let's take it back. Tomorrow you are coming home to me, we will our special thing and make it even better. Not starting over but moving on…"

Eddie smiled and caressed Jamie's cheek once before turning back to work on his leg, "Moving on."

 **A/N: This update is being made by Melanie so the note is short. The author is thankful for everyone reading and is very interest in your comments. Please send them and I'll pass them on.**

 **Next Update – November 18** **th** **– Eddie comes home**


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter Forty Four

Jamie smiled as the doctor handed Eddie's release papers over officially allowing her to return home. With a gentle arm around her waist he guided Eddie to stand helping her change.

A nurse brought the wheelchair in just as they finished smiling at Jamie carefully helping Eddie in. "I can move myself you know," she joked.

"Yea but that's why I'm here to help you." Jamie squeezed her shoulder walking by her side to the car. Jamie helped Eddie into the car and paused, his eyes twinkling, glad they were going home.

While Jamie drove Eddie looked out the window at passing pedestrians, people in other cars, buildings and other sights. She sighed. Jamie turned his attention to her, "You okay?"

"Yeah." Eddie felt his hand squeeze her own. Eddie stared out the window until they got home.

Arriving in Bay Ridge, Jamie went around helping her out of the car slowly with an arm around her back. "Welcome home, my love," Jamie whispered.

Jamie opened the door greeted by Lila and Frank holding Reagan and Finn all sharing the same smile. "Welcome home Mom," Lila exclaimed, hugging her carefully.

"Thank you, honey. Oh hi Finny, I missed you! And you Reagan! Hi Frank," Eddie smiled overwhelmed at the love.

"Glad you're okay sweetheart. Let's sit because the twins missed their grandma terribly." They walked to the couch Jamie remaining glued to Eddie's side.

Once settled Frank handed over a cooing Reagan. "Hi baby girl, she got big!" Eddie happily bounced her granddaughter on her lap watching the infant squeal with delight. Smiling Lila handed Finn over studying her mother's smiles.

"She seems like she is much happier, Dad," Lila whispered to Jamie. "And healthier, is that a glow in her cheeks?"

"It is," Jamie replied. "I hate to say this, Kitten, but I think that was the wake-up call we all needed. Mom was overdoing things, I wasn't being anywhere near as attentive as I could be…I'm just glad she's well."

Lila smiled, "Look at Finn." Finn had grabbed a lock of Eddie's hair and was shoving it in his mouth. Jamie laughed, "He is such a good natured little guy. I'm afraid to say he got that from Steven."

Lila laughed, "Well, Reagan, is all her mother."

Frank sat back and smiled at Eddie. "You scared me. I thought you were going to die in my arms. This is from your father now so you listen, do not EVER do that again! We all love you and we all need you. That said…I am treating for dinner so you pick a menu, we'll order out."

Eddie laughed, "You don't have to do that Frank. I put the family in a terrible place with all of my drama. My medication and medical condition is not an excuse for putting everyone through so much."

"It's okay honey," Frank soothed. He had a fatherly chat for her but he had a feeling she would need it at family dinner, not tonight. Eddie smiled up at him holding the twins nodding. "Thank you Frank, I really appreciate it."

"I mean it," Frank added firmer with a smile. Getting up so Eddie was able to spend more time with her grandbabies Frank retrieved the menus.

It was, at Jamie's request, a smaller dinner that night. Joey and Molly, Lila, Steven, and the babies and Sean. On Sunday, the entire family would once again be around the table, with Erin's case all but settled, she would be returning home to New York. In deference to her brother's wishes, she would be in Boston packing until Saturday to give Eddie some space when she got home.

The family opted for Italian, ordering a tray of ziti and chicken and two pizzas. Jamie smiled and laughed at Joey and Molly. "You need to have at least ten people at this wedding. Most of the hall is going to be loaded up with Jack and Rita's colleagues and my Dad's political obligations.'

"I have such a small group of friends, Joseph. I just want to be your wife and be part of this family." Joey leaned over and kiss Molly's nose.

"You said you wanted to run a song by us?" Eddie asked. "We can do that after dinner if you want to. Molly, you are already part of this family honey."

"Molly was here a lot while you were sick, she's another granddaughter to me." Frank smiled at the pretty girl that his Joey was going to marry.

"Sean, I haven't thanked you enough for all that you did for me," Eddie told her nephew. "Dr. Rossiter is a terrific doctor. I feel like she's finally listening to me. I feel better."

"My pleasure, Aunt Eddie," Sean replied taking a huge bite of pizza. "Sarah is a good doctor and I think she is right for you. You always liked teas and herbal blends anyway."

Eddie admitted that was true, "I even make Uncle Jamie drink blueberry tea."

Jamie sat back and listened. This was his family, this light hearted chatter, nothing too dramatic, nothing too stressful. This was his family…and he loved it.

Lila and Steven headed home early, the twins were beginning to cut their first teeth and sleep was a valued commodity at the Tenney house. Frank, now relaxed that his family was all home under his watchful eye headed to bed. Sean ducked out not long after, an early shift at the hospital, leaving just Joey and Molly behind. "Okay this son is really old, from the 1990s but we think it really fits us. Joey turned the music on…Eddie recognized the country tones.

 _Just like every lock's got to have a key  
Every river flows looking for the sea  
And when you plant a seed, it reaches for the sky  
That's just the way it is, nobody wonders why  
Like coffee needs a cup you know that it ain't much good without it  
We were meant to be together, no doubt about it_

Joey looked at his Molly. They had met under difficult circumstances but she was the light of his world. Joey uniquely understood his father's devotion to his mother now that he had Molly in his life.

Molly looked over at Joey, even with their recent struggles, she admired the marriage between Jamie and Eddie. Jamie truly adored his wife. This very moment he had his arm around Eddie's shoulders having just wrapped her in a blanket to ward off a non-existent chill. Joey often cuddled her that way especially as she sad about her family not being at their wedding. The goal for her life with Joey was sitting on the sofa behind her, except of course for the health issues that plagued them both. Still through all of that, through their slips and falls, the Reagans had remained strong.

 _Like a hammer and a nail, socks and shoes  
We go hand in hand, like a rhythm and blues  
What good is a man who hasn't got a dream  
Bout as good as a car with no gasoline  
You're the one I'm dreaming of got to have your love can't live without it  
We were meant to be together, no doubt about it_

Molly felt Joey reach out and take her hand into his. He pulled gently and took Molly into his arms. Slowly, Joey began to sway with Molly in his arms. Molly's head dropped onto Joey's shoulder and sighed, the entire room disappeared as she nuzzled into Joey's arms. This was where she felt safe and at home, that was how it should be.

Jamie placed his warm arms around Eddie and began dance with her in their seated positions. The song was about being partners and they had been that forever. They had lost their way, more than once, but that didn't' matter, they were partners still.

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest, "Getting tired, sweetheart? Don't over do it, you have a lot of healing still to do."

"I am, but let them finish," Eddie whispered as Joey spun Molly and pulled her closer once more to finish he song. "Well, what do you think?"

"I think that it's perfect for you," Eddie replied. "Marriage is a partnership, it is two opposite things fitting together to perform one perfect action."

"It's not always perfect," Jamie replied. "And it is work. Sometimes the lock freezes and you have to wiggle the key, but if you stick with it what is inside is always worth it." Jamie kissed the side of Eddie's head. "Mom's getting tired, Joey. I should get her up to bed"

Joey nodded the leaned down to hug his Mom. "Rest, okay. I'll see you on Sunday. Only six weeks to the wedding."

"I'll be there," Eddie replied firmly hugging both Joey and Molly before allowing Jamie to lead her upstairs.

Eddie insisted she was okay to get herself changed. She was in the bathroom and Jamie got changed and into bed. Eddie changed quickly then stepped out to sleep in her own bed for the first time in over a month. Jamie smiled as Eddie entered joining him on the bed lying beside him. She turned to face him returning the smile when he wrapped his arms around her.

"No matter how many times we lay like this it gets better and better," Jamie told her softly. His eyes twinkled as he leaned closer for a kiss.

"It sure does," Eddie agreed, inhaling right before their lips met. She closed her eyes feeling Jamie brushing her hair back gently. Their lips brushed slowly, hands moving in until they captured.

Jamie pulled away with a smile looking into her eyes. "I love you."

Eddie reached out and stroked Jamie's cheek. "I love you. You have no idea how much it means to me that we are going to be able to spend more time together. I want so many more moments like this. I want this forever."

Jamie pecked Eddie's lips again, "I want to say just one more time, then we are putting this to bed forever. I am sorry that I did not hear you when you were screaming out for my help. I am so so sorry for that. You were hitting me over the head that you needed me and I failed. I'm sorry."

Eddie bit her lip and kissed Jamie softly on the lips. "I was but I made the choice to stop eating well and to skip meals. I hurt myself and in doing that I hurt the one thing that matters to most, our marriage and our family. Can you please forgive me?"

"I don't have to forgive you, baby," Jamie whispered. "I love you and you were in pain. I didn't see it. If you can forgive me that, we're moving forward."

Eddie wiggled closer and sighed, "I don't think I slept well since they pull off the heavy meds. Oh, I love being in your arms so much. I need to sleep here with you, I need you Jamie. I think I spent so much time not wanting to admit that since you had the stroke but I got scared and I need you."

"You have me," Jamie whispered. "For better or worse…you have me."

Eddie fell asleep in Jamie's arms with those words in her heart.

 **A/N: Jamie and Eddie are moving forward and the wedding plans are progressing. Just a few thing to wrap up now, this story has ten chapters to go! Thanks to everyone who was praying for me, pulling for me, and sending well wishes. I'm doing much better.**

 **Next Update – November 21** **st** **– Sunday dinner again, and everyone is attending…Frank and Nikki have a heart to heart…**


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter Forty Five

"Mom, will you please sit down," Lila all but begged Eddie whenever she tried to get up and help with the family meal. "Aunt Linda and I have this."

"I know but I feel fine," Eddie argued. "Linda please tell her that I feel okay."

"Your mother knows her body," Linda assured Lila. "Here, work on the veggies for the salad. You can help sitting down."

Eddie sighed but took the knives and got to work on the green salad that would accompany the meal. Linda too some vegetables and sat down across from Eddie. "They are just concerned, your kids and Jamie. It was a pretty tough thing for all of us to see you so sick like you were."

Eddie nodded, "I've apologized over and over again to Jamie and the kids for my part in that and since Jamie and I…We really have been connecting again. I feel like I'm getting my confidence back and with it my marriage."

"You're marriage never was in trouble, Eddie," Linda assured her. "You were frightened and feeling out of control that's all. Jamie has never loved anyone the way that he loves you. He loves you so much."

Eddie smiled, "I love him too. I'm just glad we have more time."

"Is Nikki coming?" Joey asked Jamie as they sat in the living room with Frank, Danny, his boys, and the twins. "Molly is on guard for that one, she doesn't want a repeat of what happened, she still blames herself."

"Well, Molly isn't to blame for that mess," Sean replied. "And it won't happen again, to that degree anyway. Aunt Eddie, at least medically and chemically, is back to her old self. I think she can hold her own."

"To answer you, Joey, yes, Nikki is coming," Jamie replied. "But I'm going to have a few words with her before I let her inside, lay down the law so to speak."

Joey nodded and smiled, his father was once again on his mother's protective detail.

The family picked on some snacks and chips until Jamie spotted Nikki's car in the driveway. She was solo this time as Jamie suspected after the last disaster. "I'll be back."

Using his cane, mostly because it made Eddie feel better, Jamie went outside to greet his niece. "Did you have a good drive?" he asked getting closer to the car, not realizing Frank had chosen to follow him but wait as he often did in the shadows.

"Yeah, it wasn't too bad, just slow by the bridge," Nikki replied. "Is everyone inside?"

"Yes, but I can't allow you to go inside Nikki," Jamie replied. "I can't allow you to go inside and continue as you have been with Aunt Eddie and Lila. I spoke to your mother and even she agrees that your propensity for blunt speech has become more mean spirited than it is well meaning and if I don't have a firm and solid promise from you right now, that you will be polite and offer only constructive opinions you are not welcome at this table or in this house."

Nikki placed her hands over her hips while studying her uncle. "Just so you know Uncle Jamie I'm not trying to be mean in what I say. Aunt Eddie is a nice person and I want her to be around a long time."

Looking directly into Jamie's eyes Niki continued. "But her eating behavior is dangerous and I'm surprised you're allowing it. For someone her height she shouldn't be carrying that much weight."

"That's enough Nikki and this is exactly the kind of behavior I'm talking about," Jamie cut her off before she could continue. His usually calm blue eyes flashed down at his niece angry at her comments about his Eddie.

"I'm stating facts Uncle Jamie..."

"Facts hurt!" Jamie snapped. "You act like we aren't aware of it. We are. Your aunt, highly due to some of your "facts" almost died from starving herself to lose the weight you make fun of to no avail because it comes from her medications not her eating habits! To stay alive, your aunt has to take thirty four different pills. Thirty four! Do you understand that?"

"Uncle Jamie, I'm sorry she's so bad, but is that good for you or Grandpa? If Aunt Eddie has to take care of herself and you and grandpa, maybe Lila can watch her own kids, maybe that will be easier…"

"Where are you under the notion this is up for debate? I think you better get back in the car and go home before you put your Aunt back on…"

"No! This is still Grandpa's house…"

Frank took that as his cue, "Yes it is my house," Frank said firmly. "Jamie go inside. Eddie is having a battle with a roast beef that needs refereeing."

Frank stepped down the steps instead of letting Nikki step up. "Thank you Grandpa," Nikki began erroneously thinking that Frank was defending her.

"Let's take a little walk,' Frank suggested. "We used to do this all the time when you were little. When you were a little girl, I would, Grandma and I, and Pop we walk you in the carriage and bounce you on our knee. Whenever you were at the house your mother and father had to fight us to hold onto you. It was no different when Jack and Sean or Joey and Lila were little…"

Nikki visibly bristled at Lila's name. "Yes, it was different. Until Lila was born I was the only girl."

"That's true, but Lila can't help being a girl, you know that. This is really about Lila being born, all of this animosity?"

Nikki looked down, she was a adult woman, middle aged even. How did she say to her grandfather of all people she was angry that he loved Lila and her children more than her?

"A lot of things changed for us when Lila was born," Nikki sighed. "I guess back then I was a little jealous. It just never seemed like once Lila grew we got our relationship back."

"Well, why do you think that might be?" Frank asked. "You were off in college, making your own life, choosing your own path. You made some very profound choices, one of those was to isolate yourself in Boston and to take the hyphen out of your name, to drop that family name and shy away from the family business. Being a Reagan was something I saw you turn your back on, that had a lot more to do with what you feel is the downgrading of our relationship than Lila or her twins. You have no idea how much it hurt me and Pop, God rest his soul, that you took the path you did, a path away from us. We don't care you didn't go into the law, or to law enforcement, what upset us was your denial of who you were because of who we were. So if you want to put blame someplace…"

By this time they reached the house again and Frank was breathing hard. Danny was waiting on the porch and moved to help Frank. "Hey, Nick," he greeted his niece who was still reeling from her grandfather's words. "Come on inside, Dad," Danny eased Frank inside leaving Nikki to stew on what Frank had told her.

Jamie stepped inside hovering in the hallway trying to calm down before anyone else saw, especially Eddie. Unfortunately Eddie who went upstairs five minutes earlier decided to come down at that moment.

"Hey, what's wrong lambchop?" Eddie stepped down putting a hand on his shoulder watching him worried.

"Nothing," Jamie mumbled looking down at the floor to avoid eye contact with her. He shifted his weight side to side sighing with clenched fist.

Eddie reached a hand to cup his chin, turning his head until their eyes met. "Talk to me Jamie, we are partners and best friends. We always talk to each other about everything."

Jamie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist, and pulled her closer for a hug. "I just need a hug from you. Eddie, know that I love you no matter what, more than anything else."

Eddie nodded and laid her head on Jamie's chest, "I know, I know…" Eddie rubbed Jamie's back and nuzzled with him. "Let her in, don't fight my battles or Lila's…It's not worth you or Dad getting so upset. You are the most important thing to me."

"Dad is talking to her but I do not want to go through this again! I don't want you to leave me again, I don't want to sit at your hospital bed and pray again…if Nikki coming in…"

Eddie cupped Jamie's cheek, "So much of that was on me, I was weak and I was doubting you and us and I let her get to me. I'm not doing that anymore. It's okay."

Jamie turned and walked back to the living room with his arm around Eddie. Jamie's eyes fell on Nikki standing with her mother in the corner of the room. Eddie reached for Jamie's hand, gave it a solid squeeze and approached both women. "Nikki, we have that cranberry ginger ale you like, I can get you some. Erin, I know you prefer juice."

Jamie looked at Eddie and smiled; his Eddie had just shown up and he was grateful.

When the family sat down to dinner an hour later, Frank offered the blessing, thanking God for the family being all together as one unit. He looked directly at Nikki hoping that getting so much off both of their chests would heal the family dynamic.

Eddie participated in the clean-up, she didn't want to look like she was above anyone in the family, but when he side started to hurt, she went and joined Frank in the living room. Danny, Jamie, and the rest of the men were in Jamie's den on Carfax, helping Sean pick out a new car.

Eddie sat down putting her hand on her back. "Are you all right, Sweetheart?" Frank asked. "Should I get Sean or Jamie?"

"Oh no," Eddie replied. "I'm just a little tired. These dinners are wonderful but even with all the help they are tiring."

Frank smiled, "Especially under certain circumstances." Frank stood up and moved to sit next to Eddie. He slid his arms around her and hugged Eddie tight. "Eddie, I am so glad you are okay. But I have something get off my chest with you. When you were feeling like you were, why didn't you come to me honey? Why didn't you come to me and talk to me. You almost killed yourself and it hurt, Eddie. It hurt you didn't come to me and talk to me. I love you very much, you are my daughter no more or less than Linda and Erin. If you can't talk to Jamie, talk to me."

Eddie sighed and slid over closer to Frank, she laid her head against his still broad shoulder. "I'm sorry, I was just so lost, I didn't' even know where to start."

Frank rubbed Eddie's arm up and down. Off to the side of the room, Erin had stepped in wanting to address Frank's true but firm words to her daughter. It stung to hear Frank tell Eddie that he held Eddie and even Linda on the same plane as he held her. Erin bit her lip and chose not to engage that, at least for now.

 **A/N: This chapter was to a large degree about jealousy, but we'll see that being put to rest as this story and series progress. We are really in the home stretch now, so I hope everyone is sticking around for the finish. I hope it won't disappoint.**

 **This story won't update again until Friday so please everyone have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.**

 **Next Update – November 25** **th** **– Wedding plans pick up as Eddie gets news of the state of her health.**


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter Forty Six

Frank held Finn's bib over his face. Both of his great grandbabies were sitting on their boppy pillows, clapping both hands and feet when Frank would pull the bib aside and show his smiling face. Lila sat watching her grandpa playing with the kids, they were just over five months old now and soon would be crawling. "They like that," Lila smiled. "Here's your hot lemonade and I put I a touch of sugar like Mom does."

"They've been gone for a while," Frank observed. Jamie and Eddie left at nine that morning for her check up with Dr. Rossiter and the kidney specialist she brought in to help with Eddie's renal disease. Lila arrived at noon to make Frank his lunch and supervise his medication regimen after a phone call to the house revealed her parents had no returned.

"I'm sure things are going well," Lila comforted. "Here's your lunch, let me feed these two." Lila took Finn first, he ate faster than Reagan did, and offered him her breast. As she nursed and Frank worked on tuna, Erin came in from the grocery store. "Hello," she called. "I picked up Dad's prescriptions so…" Erin stopped when it was just Lila and Frank. "They aren't back yet?"

"No," Lila replied. "Grandpa is worried but I know everything is okay. Just text my Dad about the pills in case they are going to get something for my mom."

Erin sent the text to Jamie's phone and added, "All okay?"

Not ten minutes later Erin's phone beeped, "Coming home now. Thanks for scripts. Please wait for us at the house."

When Lila heard Erin reading the text her heart dropped, "Well, we have to support them that's all. Dad's going to take it harder than Mom I think, I think since she got her meds balanced out she's handling hiccups much better than I ever remembered."

Erin sighed, "I feel so bad for her. It's like she cannot catch a break and that…"

"Enough," Frank said firmly. "Eddie doesn't want a pity part, Jamie doesn't need the gloom and doom if this is bad news, okay? Let's put on our brave faces and hold them up if they need it, yes?"

Erin nodded, "I've never gotten along well with Eddie but we have both tried and are burying that hatchet…"

Jamie and Eddie pushed the door open about five minutes later. Erin had Finn on her lap playing claps hands with him when they came in. "Well?" Frank asked raising his eyebrow.

"Well, we are going to have a lot more free mornings," Jamie replied before letting his trademark 1000 watt smile light up his face. "Go ahead honey…"

Eddie held onto Jamie's hand, "Dr. Rossiter and Dr. Wagner both said that I'm doing great and I don't need the dialysis anymore!"

Frank's blue eyes widened shocked as a smile crept forming with his mustache. "That's wonderful news," he exclaimed getting up slowly to hug Eddie and Jamie.

When they parted Eddie turned to Lila wiping tears from her eyes. "Mom, I'm so glad," she sniffled moving in to hug her mother overjoyed.

"I am too," Eddie replied. "Dad and I are both relieved."

Eddie pulled back from Lila smiling to see Erin hugging Jamie. "I'm thrilled for you both," Erin smiled giving Eddie a hug. "And just in time for us to go into high gear for Joey and Jack's wedding."

"At dinner this week, the kids are finalizing the details with Linda and me, Rita's mom. We are going to meet at Junior's for dessert to wrap this up. It's so close."

"Do you have your dress?" Erin asked Eddie.

"I have the gown I wore to the last Commissioner's ball, I was too tired to shop but not I think I can find something. We should go, you, Linda and me. Lila if you want to come too. Their colors are peach and light green, but I'm not going to venture a very light colored gown."

"You look lovely in blue," Jamie told his wife. "And you lost eleven pounds on Dr. Rossiter's teas, all retained fluid…" Jamie kissed the side of Eddie's head. "The doctors also said though Eddie still has to rest and take good care of herself."

"Yes, she did say that, Jamie but she also said part of caring for me is you allowing me to be the mom and the wife and the daughter I need to be to feel good inside," Eddie reminded him. "Now, you did not sleep a wink last night, why don't you and Frank sit here and enjoy the babies. Lila, Erin, how about we see what we can scare up for dinner. I asked Joey and Molly to come over and Steven is off tonight so he can hear the news as well."

The three ladies headed to the kitchen, as Jamie sank down on the sofa and put his head in his hands. The gesture worried Frank, "It is good news, isn't it son?"

"Oh, yes," Jamie relied. "It's just…it's that let down you have after being so tense for so long, I didn't even know I was that scared."

"Baahh," Reagan cooed and kicked her legs making her leg toy ring. She always looked shocked when that happened. "Yeah, I guess you are right, princess," Jamie laughed. "Grandpa has to stop being so uptight and just be happy right?"

Frank nodded, "She's got more wisdom than both of us, I was sick with worry too. It's nice to see Erin and Eddie getting along."

Erin softened when she understood so much of what was going on was toxicity and Eddie is feeling so much more secure in who she is and what she's all about. It's been a rocky few months but I think we turned the corner for good."

Frank nodded, "I think you're right. Soon, these two will be one and Joey and Molly and Jack and Rita will be giving me great grandchildren. There's so much to look forward to."

Jamie smiled, "That there is Dad, I feel like the rest of my life just started."

Frank reached down and tickled Finn's bare foot making the boy laugh, "That's always a good feeling, Jamie. Always a good feeling."

Joey burst into tears when Eddie gave him the good news about her health. Eddie went and held her boy tight, "It's all right, Joey this is good."

Joey bit his lip, Eddie's illness had been hard on everyone, but Joey was the one that usually felt it the deepest. Whenever she had a medical set back, Eddie remember Joey as her little seven year old boy sitting on her hospital bed, demanding that he doctor fix his Mommy. "I'm all better, I promise," Eddie whispered to him. "I'm going to be so proud to dance with you at your wedding to Molly."

Joey buried his face in Eddie's neck for a minute and sniffled. "Well, let's talk about those plans then…"

By the time Sunday rolled around, the Jamison Reagan branch of the family had their ducks in a row. Molly and Joey had decided on traditional vows but eliminated the full nuptial mass in deference to what Rita was comfortable with. After a successful Sunday dinner, Jamie and Eddie, Linda and Danny and their engaged kids sat down to finalize things. Rita's mother, Lisa joined them.

"Molly, you and Rita both agreed on all the church music," Lisa asked. "The first processional to the Minstrel Boy, traditional wedding march, then for the recessional as the Trumpet Voluntary, is all that correct?"

Molly nodded, "Yes, and thank you for the Minstrel Boy, it's always been a family favorite of ours and since my family can't be here…"

Eddie caught Linda's eyes across the table. Unbeknownst to Joey and Molly, Jamie had contacted Molly's mother and was paying for her to come over from Ireland for the wedding. That, among a few other items, would be their wedding gift and welcoming gift to their new daughter.

Systematically the three mothers worked through the entire ceremony and the reception events with input from their children but no discord. Rita laughed when her mom closed the planning sheet, "I think this is the only double wedding I have ever heard of where both couples agreed on everything."

Eddie smiled, "Perhaps it's because both couples are actually friends and really respect one another. This is going to be a beautiful wedding, just as mine to Jamie. We have a couple of anniversaries coming up, thirty-six years we are partners this March, can you believe it?"

"That's great!" Lisa smiled. "And you are married…"

"Thirty one years in October," Eddie replied. "It took us for years to have Joey. I still can't believe my kids will both be married in six weeks' time."

"I still can't believe how smoothly everything went," Linda said to Eddie as they headed home leaving their boys to see their girls and Rita's mom home. "This is going to rival any wedding the Reagans have ever seen. How are you doing, you feeling okay?"

"I'm very tired, but I feel so good. Jamie's waiting up for me at home," Eddie replied. "Is Danny?"

"Oh yes, Danny is waiting up for his slice of chocolate cheesecake," Linda laughed. "Rest, sleep in…You are better but you have to take care of yourself," Linda advised as she dropped Eddie off.

Eddie smiled, "Thanks Linda, text me when you get in."

Linda beeped the horn as she pulled away.

Eddie pushed open the kitchen door dragging herself inside. The plans had gone smoothly but it took a long time. It was almost 11 by the time she got in finding only the kitchen light on.

Entering the bedroom Eddie found Jamie already in bed reading a book, not his usual work materials. Eddie smiled as she changed before climbing into bed. When the bed shifted, Jamie put the book down and turned towards Eddie. "Hey babe, how'd it go?"

"Amazing, I can't wait for you to see." Eddie moved into his chest feeling his arms tighten around her radiating warmth and security. She looked up at him eyes twinkling at him. "I did miss you."

Jamie leaned down and kissed Eddie while brushing a hand through her blond hair. "Me too." He kissed her forehead moving his hands to massage her arms. "I just hope you didn't over do it."

"Linda kept an eye on me, I'm tired but I feel good," Eddie assured Jamie. "Are you going in for a full day tomorrow?"

"I'm going about 9," Jamie replied. "The respiratory therapist is going come for Dad at noon."

Eddie nodded, "He's doing well too. It feel like everything is back in control now." Still Eddie burrowed closer, wanting to be held tighter. Jamie was happy to oblige. Slowly he began to run his hands up and down her body, "I missed this. I missed holding you like this. I didn't sleep, I couldn't…" Jamie murmured his kiss becoming a little hungrier.

Eddie dropped her head back, letting Jamie kiss her neck and nibble at her ear. Her own hands roamed his arms and chest, working the buttons of his pajama top until it fell open allowing Eddie to rub her cheek on Jamie's bare chest.

"Eddie," Jamie whispered. "Let's only do this if you feel up to it…I want to but not at your…"

Eddie responded to him with a strong kiss, pulling his body over hers showing Jamie she was indeed up to it if he was. When Linda send her text fifteen minutes later, Eddie was in no position to reply as she and Jamie finally reignited their desire and passion for each other until a light white sheet.

 **A/N: Jamie and Eddie have reconnected as a couple and it looks like Eddie's health is improving and the family is on the road to fully healing. This story is a whopping 53 chapters long. I already started The Hardest Thing, the sixth story in the series.**

 **Next Update – November 28** **th** **– Check in with Molly and Joey and Steven and Lila, Lila and Joe think of a way to celebrate anniversary.**


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter Forty Seven

"Our wedding we argued over pretty much everything and there was only one couple," Lila laughed pouring tea for herself and Molly and coffee for Steven and Joe. "I'm so glad you two have everything set an ready to go."

Molly smiled, "Yer Mom was so wonderful in helping, and yer Da too, but I think yer Mom know what's it's like to plan a wedding by yerself."

Joey put his arm around Molly, "Mom loves you and I think she sees herself in your too. My grandmother died when Mom was still very young, and my other grandmother was gone years before my parents even met. Aunt Linda and Aunt Erin helped but it wasn't the same, I think that's why she's so attentive to this."

Molly nodded sipping her tea, "She said that their anniversary as partners is coming up before the wedding. What is that about? It sounded like it was more important to her than her wedding anniversary."

Lila smiled, "In some ways it is. Think about it, if not for that moment on the stairwell of the 12th thirty-five years ago they would not have a wedding anniversary, we wouldn't even have birthdays. That day was the essence of them, and they lost some of the fluffy lovey dovey stuff along the way but they never lost the partnership."

Steven sipped his coffee, "That's true. My parents have been married for almost forty years and they do not have the solid friendship and foundation your parents have. Mine would have split over the problems your Mom and Dad just weathered."

"We should do something for them," Molly piped up. "A little dinner with the family, but not at the house, out somewhere. Maybe yer Pop can help us find a good place and a good price."

"Instead of a big party though," Lila suggested. "What if we rent a private dining room, have the family for dinner then have the restaurant pipe in some romantic music and have pictures of Mom and Dad around, let them stay together and have some sweet time together. We can play their song and…"

"That's a great idea!" Molly exclaimed. "I really want to help with this if that's okay."

"Of course that's okay!" Joey replied. "Tomorrow, we can call grandpa and see what restaurants he still has pull at. This is going to be great and they are both going to really enjoy this."

Molly looked up at Joey, "Yer Mom and Dad have done so much for me and without them, I don't have you…"

Lila sighed as Joey kissed his fiancée, it had been a while since Steven had made that kind of comment about her and his feelings. It hurt that they felt so divided.

When Joey and Molly headed home, Lila took a breath and brought up the fact Steven had not shown her any affection.

"What was that about earlier Steven?" Lila faced him hands on her hips with a frown much like her mother's.

"What are you talking about?" Steve quietly set the twin carries down for a minute before taking them upstairs. He searched his wife for some clue as to what he did wrong.

Lila pursed her lips tightly. "You heard what Joe said to Molly. Why haven't you said anything nice like that about me and our marriage? In fact I don't remember the last time you did."

"We're married now, Lil," Steven replied. "I don't have to always say stuff like that, we are married and we share a life and a family together."

"Yeah, we do, but I still find several opportunities each day to tell you I love you and try to make you feel it, not just hear it. You aren't doing that and I thought it was okay with me, but then I looked at my brother and I looked at my parents and I'm jealous."

Steven moved closer, "Lila, you know I love you. You know that I love the twins, we've been down this road before, I'm not that kind of guy."

Lila looked down, "You were, you were very affectionate and sweet when we were dating and first married. I guess I just want to see that side of you again."

Steven reached out and hugged Lila, "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to point it out honey, I'm sorry. Let's put these babies to bed, sit down and watch some TV, snuggle up in bed okay?"

Lila nodded, she felt appeased but she'd take it. Steven did not have the solid family background she had, she'd just have to keep encouraging him. She knew for a long time her father had to do that, and it paid off in spades.

Jamie opened his eyes the next morning and saw Eddie smiling at him. "Hey, sleepyhead," she murmured stretching, feeling satisfied and rested after a night of making love and sleeping in her husband's arms.

"Hey, beautiful," Jamie whispered stroking Eddie's hair. "How did you sleep?"

Eddie laughed, "You mean once we went to sleep? I haven't slept so well in months. I missed this part of us Jamie. I missed it so much. I'm sorry that…"

Jamie stopped Eddie in her tracks taking her lips, "Stop saying sorry, baby," he sighed. "It was not your fault, you were sick. Now you are well again and all of that is behind us."

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest, "I know it is. We came so close to losing us…I know it's hard for you physically sometimes to make love to me…"

"Eddie, honestly, when I have those slow moments, it is all me, it's not you at all," Jamie said fearing Eddie would blame her appearance.

"Oh I know," Eddie replied. "I know. I'm just saying, I know it's hard sometimes, your leg cramps or things are going the way we want them to but I want to try to do this more. I want to have this connection and make sure we treat it as being as important as it is."

"I agree,' Jamie whispered. " And we will, baby. I promise you there's nothing more important to me than you and nothing will mean more to me than proving that to you. Here look…" Jamie reached under the bed and pulled out brochures for a weekend at the Plaza. "I know it's not far but the last time we went there, and you were so sick…Even though you were so sick, some of my fondest memories of us are there. We check in the night after Joey's wedding and stay for three days."

Eddie's eyes misted over, that trip was special to her as well.

Jamie and Eddie headed downstairs together a half hour later to find Frank made the coffee and was sitting at the table with papers laid out in front of him.

"Hey, Dad, what's all this?" Jamie asked seeing the legal forms on the table.

"Pour a cup and have a seat," Frank told both Jamie and Eddie. "I need to discuss this with you though it's more a formality now than anything else."

Eddie poured coffee for Jamie and made herself her morning tea. Frank waited until they were both sitting down to show them the papers.

"This is the original deed to this house," Frank began. It's been transferred from pop to me and when I die it will go to you. However, I have heard some squabbling over how you are setting rules in this house and being responsible for this house and I want to end that now. If you and Eddie will just sign on the lines, that will make it official, this house and all of the things in it, are yours now."

Jamie picked up the pen then hesitated, "No, Dad. No, we'll wait. We'll wait until...I don't want to rush it."

"Frank, we appreciate the gesture, but..."

"No buts!" Frank said firmly. "I'm tired of everyone fighting and arguing. This way when you say this is your house, you have the teeth to back it up. It will always be the center of the family, but you will set the tone for this house. Danny is on board with this, I talked to him. Erin is even supportive of it, all that's left is your signatures."

Jamie took a long, deep breath. "What do you think, babe?"

Eddie looked at the papers and looked up in Frank's watering eyes. It was costing him a lot to do this, to turn over this final piece to Jamie. Eddie covered Jamie's hand, "I'll support you in whatever you choose. If this makes it easier on your Dad…"

There was nothing Jamie would not do for Frank. Jamie took a breath and signed the papers. "Okay, but Dad, let's not use this okay, let's just have the papers as a formality, the family is finally evening itself out, I don't want any more tension."

Frank smiled and took the papers back, "Lila is coming to pick me up in a little bit. We are going to go to my respiratory therapy and then see if the twins are up for the baby swings in the park. We won't stay out too long. I just want to see them try this for the first time."

"Okay, just don't overdo it and let Lila be the Mom, if she does something screwy, let her make a mistake, she has to learn," Eddie replied.

"We're going to Grandpa' doctor and to the park, I think Dad is working so Mom will probably come with us, you should be able to get those pictures over to me and I can put them on the computer"

"Okay I have a night tour and Molly's between patients so we'll sneak over there around noon and get them," Joey told his sister. "This is gonna be great, Mom and Dad won't know what hit them."

When Lila loaded Frank into her car with the twins to go to his appointment Jamie smiled at Eddie. "So you feel like getting out for a bit or…" He raised an eyebrow.

"Or what, Commissoner Reagan?" Eddie asked standing up and moving to perch on Jamie's lap.

Jamie put her arms around her, "I'm up for exploring a little bit more…of you…I'm an old man I need reminding…of every crevice and surface of your body…" Jamie nipped at Eddie's ear. "Besides, we both feel good…why not feel great?"

Eddie laughed, "Race you upstairs…I'll give you a head start."

 **A/N: Lila is struggling a bit with her marriage, but she and Steven are in their mid twenties they'll get the hang of it. And what are Jamie and Eddie up for.**

 **Next Update – December 1** **st** **– No preview this time, don't want to ruin anything. The idea for this chapter comes from a friend and I am so thankful she shared with me.**


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter Forty Eight

Joe pushed opened the front door smiling at the quiet house. Joey was thankful Jamie had gone off to work and Lila took Eddie with her to Frank's appointment, this way he could gather as much as he needed for the slide who and not tip anyone off.

Joey stepped into the living room and looked at the pictures on the wall. There were so many members of the Reagan family there including many of his parents as a younger couple. Joey took a couple of photos on his phone of his mother's painted wedding portrait and his father's academy graduation picture. "They're going to be so surprised," he grinned happily taking a picture of his father's swearing in as Commissioner.

After finishing with the larger portraits, Joe started upstairs, stopping to snap pictures of his parents at Lila's wedding and at his grandpa's 90th birthday party. In the last one, Jamie had his arm around Eddie, both beaming like Christmas trees looking at one another like they shared a special secret.

Joe walked past closed doors that led to his old room and Lila's, stopping in front of their parents' bedroom. Eddie kept photo albums from when she and Jamie first met to the last year in the bedroom. She liked to look at the old photos at night sometimes. As Joey got closer, he heard a shrill cry, there was no mistaking his mother's voice. "Mom?"

Feeling his pulse speed up and all his cop instinct start to go off, Joey reached out to jiggle the handle on the bedroom door. The door didn't move, so when Eddie shrieked again, all Joey could think of was something was happening to his mother on the other side of the door. Joey took a deep breath, "Hang on, Mom, I'm coming," he called before backing up and shoulder charging the bedroom door.

Jamie heard Joey's voice calling out and took a sharp dive off the bed toward his pants. "Jamie be careful," Eddie admonished as he landed awkwardly. Jamie barely had the time to get back underneath the blankets before the door flew off the hinges revealing an adrenaline drowned Joey with his off duty weapon drawn.

Joey's eyes fell on the bed. His mother lay amongst rumpled covers, both arms bare and visible over the sheets, her face flushed and her hair mussed. Beside her, was his father, red in the face breathing heavily. It didn't take an SVU detective to know what just happened behind that locked bedroom door.

"Mom! Dad!" Joey gasped. "What? You? Oh my God!"

Joey turned on his heel and ran as fast as he possibly could out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and into kitchen. "Molly, let's go! Let's get out of here!"

"But I was just getting a glass of juice. Ye said ye needed more time to get the pictures…"

"I know but we're not alone and we need to go right now." Joey practically dragged Molly to the door. "Joseph Patrick Reagan, I demand an explanation as te why yer having a nutty on me when you were so excited…"

"I just walked in on my parents…" Joey gasped. "Afternoon delight…"

"Ye walked in on them having a cocktail…" Molly asked confused.

"No, no…" Joey pulled Molly closer trying to get her out of the house. "Afternoon delight…they were together…all the way together…" Joey's face was beat red.

"Oh, oh…" Molly wrinkled her nose. "In the middle of the afternoon! Oh my goodness. Well, ye got her somehow didn't ye? What did ye think, the stork brought ye and yer sister? Joseph…" Molly shook her head. "Honestly, Joseph." Molly placed a hand on Joe's shoulder unable to hold back a smile. "Let's just go we can always come back another time."

Joe nodded wide eyed reaching for her hand. They no more took a step before Jamie's voice filled the hallway. "Joe wait."

Jamie rushed downstairs in a robe hurrying to catch up. "Hey oh hey Molly."

Molly turned and smiled, "We were just leavin," she told him gently. "Enjoy the rest of your afternoon." Molly all but pushed Joey outside. She could tell he was too embarrassed to deal with Jamie, as we Jamie himself.

Jamie headed back upstairs with two bottles of water. When he returned to the bedroom, Eddie was still laughing her butt off. "I haven't seen you move that fast since…I can't even remember…"

"Molly ushered him out of the house," Jamie replied. "What was he doing here anyway and the door was locked…"

Eddie reached out and pulled Jamie closer to her, "He thought maybe I was hurt in here. I'm sorry our family is so concerned, especially our son. At least we know they'll go to the line for us," Eddie replied smiling. "Lie back down, catch your breath."

Jamie pulled Eddie closer, "How was it besides our rude awakening?"

"We need to do this more,' Eddie replied. "Not just the sex, which was great and fun and all other wonderful things but this time together, special time together."

Jamie slid his arms around Eddie, "I agree. A few more months now…then I'm all yours."

Eddie rolled over so she was lying on top of Jamie, "Promise?"

Jamie kissed Eddie's lips twice, "I promise."

Joey was still smarting over the encounter later that afternoon. "You're going to have to get Grandpa to get the pictures and set up the dinner because I'm not going back to that house unless I know a ton of other people will be there. I can't believe they still do that."

"Joey, you'll realize when you get married," Lila advised her older brother. "It changes when you are married, it's even more special. You'll see. I'll get the pictures tomorrow, just text me with the pictures you took on your phone. We only have a really short time to make this video. It has to be perfect."

"It will be, Sis," Joey replied. "Hug those little ones for me. I'll text you that stuff now."

Lila hung up and heard her phone begin to beep with the texts. Lila picked up the babies and prepared them for a bath, a sleepy time bottle, and finally their bedtime. While Lila rocked Finn, reluctant sleeper that night she felt Steven come up behind her, kissing her neck. "Hello, Mrs. Tenney."

Lila smiled, and turned so she could kiss Steven. "You're home early."

"Yeah, pretty quiet so he Captain let a few of us head home early. Is he almost off?"

Lila nodded, "Yeah, he just needed a little more Mommy time tonight. Reagan, she's good at sleeping on her own but Finn, he needs the occasional cuddle."

"You think they'll be the only two kids we have?" Steven asked. "We never even really talked about them and they were hear so…"

"Well, I'll tell you this," Lila replied. "I'm only 25 so I don't want to restrict myself but for now we are not ready for more kids. We can hardly handle the two we have already."

Steven leaned over and took Finn from Lila placing the sleeping boy in his crib. The baby fussed a little bit, but Steven gently rubbed his belly and put him back to sleep.

"What brought that question anyway?" Lila asked as they headed into their bedroom.

"One of the guy at the fire house," Steven replied. "His wife had a baby today and it reminded me of the magic when these two showed their faces."

Lila sighed and looked at Steven, "I know your work keeps you incredibly busy and you don't have a lot of time to spend with them, but the twins bring their own magic into every day. I don' have to have a new baby just to have that feeling. I have that feeling every time I look into their eyes or when I see what they do for my Grandpa's health or when they make Mom smile. Love what you have already, there's time and room for us to have more, but now is not that time and you know it."

Steven pulled Lila closer and rubbed her up and down. Things were hard for them, his work and their immaturity making it doubly so. "How did Frank's appointment go today?"

Lila smiled, "It was good for the most part but…" Lila held a little tighter to Steven.

"What honey?" Steven asked knowing this was the most affection he was getting tonight. Somehow though, with the way Lila was holding him, which was okay.

"He had this horrible spasm while we were there doing the ball exercise," Lila told Steven. His entire chest just stopped with the air inside. He looked so scared trying to blow that air out. The therapist and the doctor were both trying to help him, oxygen did nothing because he was deadlocked, couldn't get the air out so no new air could come in…"

"That's end stage," Steven sighed. "I know, it's hard seeing him like that sweetie, but you know it's only going to get worse."

Lila admitted she knew that was true. "Yes, but never underestimate what love can do. In this case, Grandpa's love for our little ones. Reagan felt my anxiety, she began to cry, and Finn, he was cooing and kicking so I put him with grandpa in the chair. The nurse helped Grandpa hold him and he relaxed. He relaxed and the air started to move out. The doctor was sure he was heading for the ER but he's home now eating mom's pork and apples. Doctor said that he figures Grandpa has a year, six months before he's bedridden, Grandpa said Joey and Molly would be having a baby by then and he had to see it."

Steven laughed, "When that man finally goes to Heaven his bed is going to be full of great grandchildren. Frank's tough, he's not going anywhere for a while."

Lila prayed Steven was right. She curled around her husband wanting to be as close as possible. There were some elements of jealousy earlier when Joey reported what he'd witnessed back at the house. Her parents, with their age and their health issues had a much healthier sex life than she did. "What are you thinking?" Steven asked seeing the far off look that was all too prominent lately.

"I'm thinking about the party for my folks, thirty five years as a team," Lila sighed. "You think we'll make five?"

Steven dropped a kiss on her head, "I love you, Lila Joy…if that is all we need we'll make 55 or 65…I'll get more tenure built up soon, I'll have better hours, the babies will grow into kids and things will feel better, I promise. Please stop doubting I love you. Is it going to take you in a hospital bed for me to prove that, like what happened to your Dad?"

"Mom needed Dad to listen to her," Lila sighed. "And Dad needed more to trust him. I think we have the same issue without the foundation to fall back on."

"I am listening to you, Lil," Steven replied. "That's part of why I came home early tonight. I miss you and I want to be with you and the kids more often. I promise I do."

"After the party for my folks is behind us, and the wedding, we can ask your parents and my parents to share the babies for a weekend, but for now…Can we just lie like this and hold onto one another?"

Steven tightened his grip on Lila and rubbed her arms, "You bet we can, sometimes that's all you need."

Lila settled down into Steven's arms feeling warmer and safer than she had since the twins were born. Then and there, in that moment, Lila had to admit Steven was right, all they needed in that moment or any other was the love they shared for each other; love Lila often doubted but at that moment wholeheartedly believed was in existence.

 **A/N: I just didn't know how to preview Jamie and Eddie get caught by their son in bed, lol. Hope you all enjoyed that twist.**

 **Next Update – December 4** **th** **– Eddie shops for a wedding dress with the Reagan women, plans for the surprise party continue.**


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter Forty Nine

"I look like the Liberty Bell," Eddie laughed as she modeled her third gown for Linda, Lila, Erin, and Molly. Rita was of with Jack and Joey giving the final seal of approval on the appetizer and dessert bar for the wedding. The gown was goldenrod yellow, with a modest slit in a full ball skirt.

Lila laughed, "Actually, you do. Take that one off that one is in the solid no pile.'

A short time ago a comment like that would have upset Eddie beyond belief, but today, she laughed. "Molly can you and Lila go and find dresses in teal, royal and navy blue, hunter green, and plum, colors like that and bring them?"

Both girls set off to shop while Eddie sat down between Linda and Erin. "You feeling okay?" Erin asked. The entire family had been scarred by Eddie's ill health, even Erin who had never been close with her sister in law.

"Yeah, I am just remembering when I was the girls' age. Every dress I tried on looked great and I had to leave things behind, now it's the opposite."

"It's like that for all of us," Linda replied. "Molly and Lila, even Rita though he's older than they are, have it easy."

Molly combed the racks, "This is pretty and I think she'll look nice in it."

"Yes, but it's not a gown," Lila replied. "Mother of the groom has to have a gown. She would look good in it though."

Molly included the black cocktail dress with lace applique sleeves and a jewel neckline, if nothing else the dress might give Eddie a self-esteem boost. The girls returned with a new selection of dresses, "Try this one first," Lila told Eddie handing her an eggplant gown with an A-line cut and a waist line ornament. "The neckline will flatter you too."

Eddie took the dressed and began to look at them. She slid into the eggplant dress and smile, it did flatter her bosom and gave her a bit of a shape. When Eddie stepped out of the dressing room she turned around. "That's a pretty dress," Linda replied smiling. "That looks good on you. Try on the other ones but let me hang onto this one."

The next three gowns did not make the cut. Then Eddie happened on Molly's dress; it was short but Eddie felt like she should at least try it. It fit her like a glove, it hugged her curves without revealing any unsightly bulges, it propped her breasts, and generally looked beautiful. Eddie modeled it for the group. "I can't wear this for the wedding, but I love it. If I found this in a long dress…" Eddie sighed taking the dress off after receiving Kudos from the group. Two more dresses and the ladies selected the eggplant dresses cousin, the same cut and outline, in a soft Kelly green.

Unbeknownst to Eddie, Molly put the dress she found on layaway, planning to purchase it for her mother in law to be, it made molly so happy to see Eddie at home in a garment again.

Eddie hung the garment bag on the back of Reagan's carriage. The women found the food court and sat down to have dinner before going home. "You see," Erin smiled at Eddie. "That' wasn't' so bad."

"No, what's hard now is realizing that I'm going to have two married kids. It makes me feel old."

"Please you are fifteen years younger than I am, I don't feel old," Erin laughed.

"You had Nikki young," Linda reminded Erin. "And she got married young. My boys…I didn't think either of the would get to settle down. Sean is determined to be a bachelor but if this Dana person's baby is his, he told Danny and me that he wants custody."

"Oh that's good," Eddie smiled. "If that baby is a Reagan it should grow up as a Reagan."

Molly smiled, "Joey and I want to have babies right away so perhaps it has a cousin then, and the twins to all play together."

Eddie reached over and rubbed Molly's arm, 'Don't rush it, honey."

Lila nodded, "Yeah, get used to being married first bfore you have babies. Babies change things." Lila looked at Reagan sound asleep in her carriage. "They are a blessing but if you happen to get two of them you need a lot of help."

"It takes a village," Linda smiled. "You're doing better, and we're all here to share this with you, Sean, Jack…"

Erin nodded, "I think my initial issue was thinking you were asking Dad to help, not realizing it was his choice. Since it is his choice, and he seems to actually breathe better…"

Lila nodded, "He does, he really does. I know I'm not a great Mom but I would never put Grandpa in harm's way. I get upset at Nikki cause she makes us all tense."

"I had a long talk with her and that won't happen at the weddings," Linda assured the table.

Eddie smiled, "Good…"

Back at the Reagan house, Joey, Jamie, Frank, and little Finn sat around the table. Finn was in his bouncy seat while the other three men played cards. "Gin," Joey announced smiling. He rarely beat his father and grandfather at cards, it was a triumph for him.

Finn cooed at the sound of his uncle's voice, "Yeah, your Uncle Joe's good luck charm little guy. Where are these women? How long can it take to pick out a dress?"

Jamie and Frank exchanged looks and both laughed. Joey raised his eyebrow, "It's a married man thing you will understand on about day two of your honeymoon. You will spend most of your married life waiting on a woman."

"Where's Uncle Danny? Didn't Aunt Linda go with them?" Joey asked putting the cards back in their box and taking little Finn out of his chair and holding the boy on his lap. Finn grabbed his foot and shoved it into his mouth.

"He's the embodiment of what is often wrong in this family," Frank laughed. "He puts his foot and his mouth and he often has no shoes on."

"Well, the foot thing I get," Jamie laughed but he didn't quite understand Frank's comment about the shoes.

Before anyone could speculate the ladies returned home sans Linda. She headed back to Staten Island directly knowing how difficult it was becoming for Danny to manage home alone at night.

"There's my guy!" Lila cooed reaching for her little boy. "Were you a good boy? Was he okay?"

"Finn was fine," Frank replied. "Joey was cheating at cards."

Eddie laughed, "You finally beat him?" She ruffled Joey's hair like she did when he was a boy as Molly handed Reagan over to Frank for a cuddle.

Frank kissed Reagan's little head before handing her back to Lila. "I'm heading out, I'll see you tomorrow. Get some rest, Grandpa."

Lila kissed Frank and her parents good night then loaded the twins in her car to go home. "We better get going too, I have a patient in the morning," Molly told Joey. "Drop me on yer way?"

"Like I wouldn't," Joey laughed and said his goodnights, leaving Jamie, Eddie, and Frank with a quiet house.

"How did she do, really?" Joey asked as they drove Molly to her apartment.

"She did well, got a little frustrated about one particular dress, but she found a lovely gown for the wedding. She'll rival the brides te be sure."

"Not my bride," Joey whispered. "No one will touch you."

"Joseph, I put a dress on the side for yer Mom. I want to get it fer her and give it as a gift," Molly replied. "Is that all right?"

"I would be careful buying her something she didn't try on," Joey replied. "Because of her…"

"But she did, I slipped it in with her gowns and she looked so beautiful," Molly gushed. "Fer her party with yer Dad. I think she'll look so lovely but the dress is $169.99 so I wanted yer permission to buy it."

"If Mom looked good in it and you want to do this for her, then please do so," Joey replied. "Do you have enough cash or do you need money?"

"I have the money but this would be our gift so I wanted te be sure," Molly replied as Joey pulled over and parked the car.

Joey leaned over and kissed Molly's lips, "Go pick up the dress. We'll coordinate with Lila about getting it into the house. Jack is going to say we want to take them out for a fancy dinner at Café Bella as a thank you and that his parents are also invited. That will get them their dressed up already."

"Good idea, I'm so excited to do this. I'll meet you in the city for pizza tomorrow."

Joey gave Molly a final kiss and watched her go inside. When the light came on in her apartment Joey honked twice and pulled away.

When Frank turned in, Jamie and Eddie headed upstairs. Jamie's eyes twinkled adoringly at Eddie as he slipped his arms around her waist slowly and kissed her cheek. "Tired?" Jamie knew long outings did still tired Eddie.

"No, why?" Eddie raised an eyebrow wondering what he was up to. Grinning Jamie moved his hands up her arms gently massaging her though her blouse. He moved up to her shoulders rubbing his strong hands working the stress out.

"Good," he whispered in her ear advancing to Eddie's neck feeling her relax against him. "I love you so much Eddie. Such a beauty…"

A smile emerged on Eddie's face as she completely relaxed against Jamie as he rewrapped his arms around her. "I know I love you too Jamie, that felt great thanks."

"My turn?" Jamie asked hopefully.

Eddie sat on the bed and put Jamie's legs on her lap, "Oh..Finn was fussy huh?" Eddie saw the marks of over use on his leg. Gently Eddie worked on the muslces and skin as Jamie peppered her head with kisses. "I'm too tired tonight, Eddie, but I want…"

"We don't always have to make love to be in love…it's okay," Eddie replied. "I got a dress, a purple one and I look sort of pretty."

Jamie laid his head on top of Eddie's, "I bet you look very pretty. I'll be the proudest man at that wedding, even prouder than Joe to have you on my arm."

"Don't butter me up," Eddie lightly scolded.

"I'm not…" Jamie said sincerely. "No matter what we've gone through physically, emotionally, I've been proud to be your husband and I've been honored to be your best friend."

Eddie turned in Jamie's arms and met his eyes, "It's because we're best friends that we are get through. I'm proud to your wife, I always have been."

Jamie cupped Eddie's cheek and began to kiss her, maybe he wasn't too tired after all.

 **A/N: So it seems the ladies of the Reagan famiy are solving their differences, and Eddie is finally in a better place with her body, and plans for the surprise are in their final stages as is this story. Four chapters to go after this.**

 **Next Update – December 7** **th** **– The surprise is on for Jamie and Eddie.**


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter Fifty

"So we're all set for tonight?' Lila confirmed with Joey and Frank two weeks later. It was already late afternoon, Eddie had only been down for a short while that day and it was making Frank a little nervous. Eddie and Jamie had both shifted to taking better care of themselves and each other following Eddie's health crisis; if she was under the weather they might ask to reschedule the "thank you" dinner or cancel outright.

"Except if your Mom isn't up to it," Frank sighed. "Vito closed the entire restaurant, the DVD arrived by messenger yesterday, and I have the dress ready go to as soon as I hear your Dad I'll ask him to bring it upstairs."

"We are actually going to pull this off," Joey smiled.

"Grandpa, I'll pick you up at 6:45 and we'll say that we are taking the twins to the play place and you want to go," Lila plotted. "Then we'll all be at the restaurant when Mom and Dad arrive in the car. Joey will drive their car back her and Molly will take their car home. The limo will take Mom and Dad to the Plaza."

Frank beamed, it meant a lot to him to be able to do this for his family, especially his youngest and his wife, the pair of them reminded him of his partnership with Mary.

"I'm going to go up and check on Mom, if there's anything we can head off we don't need fifty people at the restaurant if they end up not being able to come."

Lila went upstairs and knocked, "Mom, it's Lila!"

"Come in!" Eddie was standing in front of the mirror trying on dresses. "I want to look my best for the dinner tonight and none of these seems right."

"You will look great no matter what you wear," Lila assured Eddie. "What about this one, the black…"

Eddie smiled, "Actually that dress is too big."

"Way to go, Mom!" Lila praised. "You know this is just a nice think Jack and Joey want to do. Don't worry."

Eddie nodded, "Let me try on at navy blue pants suit."

Eddie disappeared to change coming out a few minutes later showing off the pants suit smiling. "That looks great mom," Lila complimented smirking to herself about the gift Frank was sitting on.

"Yeah, I think we have a winner. Lila will you help with my hair?" Eddie sat down in front of her dresser letting Lila brush her hair fixing it up for dinner.

When she finished Lila smiled at her mother through the reflection. "That looks great," she smiled. "Are you ready?"

"More or less, I have to do my face, but I'll wait until Dad is home." Eddie carefully changed back into her sweats "I think I'll just take a short nap before it's time to go. Thanks for taking care of Grandpa tonight."

Lila smiled, "No worries, Mom. Get some rest."

While Eddie napped, Lila took the dress from Frank and snuck it onto her mom's bed with the note it was from Joey and Molly. "I'll see you later, Grandpa."

"I'll be ready, I can't wait to see their faces."

Jamie changed his shirt and tie while talking to Frank, "I really wanted to spend tonight just me and Eddie, it's our 35th anniversary. Thirty five years ago, we became partners and my live has not been the since, thank God. I love her more than the day I met her, the day I married her…"

Frank smiled, "Take some time tonight and honor that. Did you get her a gift?"

"I got her an eternity necklace, I'll give it to her after dinner."

Frank smiled, little did Jamie know there was a lot more in store for both of them tonight.

Lila picked Frank up at 6:45 as promised, leaving Jamie to wait for Eddie. "Eddie, come on honey," Jamie called. "It's almost seven, we're going to be…"

Eddie appeared at the top of the steps wearing the not the pants suit chosen by Lila but the dress she had tried on and loved when shopping with Molly. Eddie had to retouch her face after finding the dress on the bed when she got up from her nap, her heart was so warmed by the gesture.

Jamie's words died on his lips and his breath caught when he saw Eddie. Her golden hair was curled and up in a bun, her face was shining and perfectly made highlighting bright blue eyes and full lips, and her body….the dress accentuated the positive, her full bosom and curvy waist, and eliminated the negative so well it was nearly non-existent. Eddie completed the ensemble with modest heels, delicate pearl earring, and a clutch bag

Jamie's mouth felt dry. He crossed the floor and took Eddie's hands. "You look so…beautiful…Oh Eddie…" Jamie admired his with pride and a smile before closing their gap for a kiss.

Eddie snuggled close to Jamie, "Oh I wish we didn't accept this invitation. We could just stay home, sit on the couch together…

"We promised the kids," Jamie reminded her. "They really want to do this for us."

Eddie nodded and walked out with Jamie, hand in hand.

Jamie handed the keys to the valet when they arrived at the restaurant. He gently took Eddie's arm and walked into the totally empty restaurant. Jamie and Eddie's detective sense went off sensing a slight movement in the back as Danny reached to switch the light revealing the entire family and several members of the NYPD, including Renzulli, Kara Walsh, John McKenna, Abigail Baker, and former Commissioner Gormley. "Surprise!"

Eddie turned to hide her face as she turned beat red, "What is all this?" Jamie asked. "What's going on?"

"Happy anniversary, Kid," Renzulli spoke up. "I knew the day I put you two together you would get married. Thirty five years ago tonight!"

"We wanted to do something special for you guys," Lila replied. "Grandpa set this all up. Happy Anniversary." Lila move to hug her parents.

Molly and Joey were next offering their affection and congratulations. "Thank you so much for the dress,' Eddie whispered to her soon to be daughter while Linda hit the play button on the radio and the strains on Through the Years began to play.

Jamie held Eddie tight in his arms swaying to the song they danced to at their wedding, Lila's wedding, and any other special event in the married life. Eddie dropped her head and laid it on Jamie's chest. Jamie stroked her back and dropped soft kisses on Eddie's hair. As the song drew to close, Jamie vaguely noticed they were joined by Danny and Linda, Jack and Rita, Joey and Molly, and Lila and Steve. When the music ended Jamie placed a full kiss on Eddie's lips before the couple stepped towards Frank each kissing his cheeks. "Thank you so much," Jamie whispered. "Thank you all so much for coming tonight and helping us celebrate."

Joey fired a few pictures on his camera, he planned to make an album of this night to give to his parents for the holiday. Eddie and Jamie took their seats between family and friends. Slowly, each of the older members of the NYPD began to tell their old war stories, Frank of course, having the most being the oldest living member of the NYPD.

As the dinner was served and being enjoyed by everyone at the party, Jamie leaned over whispering in Eddie's ear, "Meet me in the back by the bathroom." Jamie gave a smirk and excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Eddie turned back to her conversation with Lila and Kara waiting a few minutes before excusing herself to join Jamie as he had asked. She looked around before knocking gently. The door opened, Jamie stepped out and whispered so no one heard, "We can't be long but I wanted to give you a present. Close your eyes."

Eddie did as Jamie asked. Jamie pulled the velvet box out of his pocket and smiled. "To my best friend, my lifelong partner. I love you," Jamie slid the necklace onto Eddie's neck praying that his fingers cooperated. They did and Jamie smiled, "For eternity, my love."

Eddie fingered the necklace and took a quick glance at it in the mirror. "Oh Jamie, it's beautiful. I love it." Eddie reached on her tip toes to give Jamie a kiss. "I have something for you too."

Eddie reached into her bag and handed Jamie her gift to him. This day had always been more important to her than their wedding anniversary of even her birthday. Eddie handed Jamie a black box. HE opened the box and revealed a very elegant bed. "That's a special pen," Eddie explained. "It is weighted for you to get better control over it and it should help your hand not cramp up so you don't hurt…" Jamie held the pen and smiled then read the inscription, "To my partner for life…Love Eddie."

Jamie kissed Eddie deeply and kissed, "Thank you, I love it…"

As Jamie was about to slip back into the party he heard another old but favorite song, "Don't go changin'…" Jamie smiled. "May I have this dance, Mrs. Reagan?"

Eddie's smile was answer enough.

When Jamie and Eddie returned to the party, Lila and Joey stood up front. "Mom and Dad, Joey and I worked on this for you over the last week with lots of help from all of your friends and family at the NYPD. We really hope that it captures even a little bit of the essence of your partnership and your marriage. We all love you, the two of you, even with your ups and downs, set the bar high for all of us…Joey?"

Joey hit the play button on the slideshow, which began with a few pictures of Jamie and Eddie from their younger years, their baby photos, high school, college, and academy graduations…then came the partner pictures…their first day on the job, celebrating a bust leaning against their car…their marriage photo, Joey's birth, then Lila's…the whole family together.

Next came the rougher photos, through Eddie's illness. One in particular caught Jamie in the heart. Seven year old Joey was sitting on Eddie's hospital bed, his little head on his mother's then flat chest, while Jamie held them both. Frank took that picture, Jamie had never seen it before.

As the images flashed on the screen, Jamie and Eddie held onto one another tight. Images of the kids growing up, making their sacraments, graduating flashed by to the carefully chosen music. The entire presentation was beautiful and fluid until the final image made the entire room burst out laughing. It was a caricature of a younger Jamie and Eddie, in their patrol uniforms wearing capes…

When the slideshow ended, Danny and Renzulli slipped into the back of the restaurant and returned with an easel size painting of the same caricature. "You always wanted to wear capes, Janko," Renzulli joked as Eddie offered hug and Jamie a warm handshake. Truth be told he was grateful for the comic relief, the memories brought on by the slides had stroked his emotional skin more than he liked in public.

Dessert was served and Reagan and Finn made the rounds to all of the extended family. Reagan fell asleep on her Daddy's lap while Finn fought to remain awake, "Here's our little detective," Baker joked. "He likes to see what's going on huh?"

"Yeah he takes after Lila," Eddie replied. "She was into everything too when she was his age, same with Joe."

Conversations about the family and the old guard continued until Frank's cell phone rang and he smiled, "Jamie and Eddie, the last part of your surprise has just arrived out back. Now, Lila and Joey have packed bags for each of you and I gave those bags to the limo company earlier today. In this envelope, is a voucher for tonight and tomorrow night, including the New York State of Mind package, a Broadway show, dinner at Sardis and dancing…"

Eddie could barely contain her excitement two days and two nights, just her and Jamie, no anniversary could have been better than that.

 **A/N: One, two, three…Awwww…Jamie and Eddie are just so darn cute. Feels like a good time to thank Lawslave, Yanks302021, and other technical advisers for their dedication to this story as well as my loyal readers. Story six, entitled The Hardest Thing, is in the work now.**

 **Next Update – December 10** **th** **– Several couples reflect on their relationships before the rehearsal dinner.**


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter Fifty One

"Linda, Sean is going to be at the church with Anse to sign for all the deliveries," Rita told her soon to be mother in law. "And my Dad will go with Danny to the venue first thing before meeting us at the house for pictures."

"Sounds like a plan," Linda replied. The wedding was no two days away and both brides, Linda, and Eddie were busy with the final preparations.

Rita and Molly turned their attention back the final seating plan while Eddie and Linda worked on wrapping Jordon Almonds. "So Jamie really means it this time? He's done when this term expires."

"That's what he said and I think he's getting tired. Of course you know he intends to push Jack into that spot."

"I know, Jack is so grateful to Jamie for all he's done in grooming him. We know Danny never had the temperament for being commissioner, but even he is so proud of Jack and Jamie both."

Eddie snipped off some ribbon. "Has Sean mentioned to you if he intends to try to pursue paternity on that person that…"

"Well, Jamie blocked any unnecessary testing while she is in NYPD custody unless of course she requests it, but Sean has a court order ready to go the minute the baby is born, he does intend to pursue custody," Linda replied. "So maybe he makes me a grandma before Jack does."

"You know, it's not my place but when I was sick and Sean was working with Dr. Rossiter, I really felt a kind of bond between the two of them."

"I know," Linda replied. "We know Sarah, she's been his friend since medical school but so far he says that's all it is. He is happy like he is."

"Well, we can hope," Eddie laughed. "Two doctors in this family, just between me, Jamie, and Frank…that's a good thing."

"You're doing great, look at you…" Linda encouraged. "You never did mention how things went after you left the party."

Eddie blushed. "It was fabulous. The hotel has champagne and strawberries, the softest bed ever, and a Jacuzzi tub big enough for more than two people to sink in. Jamie was so sweet, though we never did see that Broadway show. We got a little distracted on the way there."

Linda laughed, "So you worked up your appetite for dinner at Sardis?"

Eddie nodded, "Jamie and I seem to have really reconnected and my critics in this family would say it was because I was selfish and pushed him into doing things my way, but I think it's because we just realized what it feels like not to have each other. I've been scared of losing him for so long, I think our fear really helped us talk and I've never been happier than I am right now."

Linda smiled, "It is special at this point isn't it, you know them better than you know yourself…"

Eddie looked over at Jamie and Danny barbs across the room. Their eyes met for a moment and Jamie smiled at his wife. Little did Eddie know their two night stay was a topic of conversation between the brothers as well.

"The weekend was fabulous," Jamie told his brother. "For most of the time, we didn't even leave the room, it was just so intense. You know what they say about fine china…marriage is the same thing, you know that."

"I do," Danny admitted. "And it's great to see you so happy again." Danny gave his little brother a smile raising his beer on toast. "So kid how's Eddie doing?"

"She's great," Jamie smiled also taking a sip from his own beer. It didn't go unnoticed that Jamie's eyes twinkled still every time they talked about Eddie.

"And you and Linda?" Seeing the curious glance from his little brother Danny shrugged. "It's good but you and Eddie, you seem meant for each other to the point it seems you're the same person. As good as my marriage to Linda is we never had that connection."

Jamie laughed at his brother's analogy. "I still feel we're meant for each other, but like anyone else we aren't perfect. We have our issues like you and Linda."

About to take a sip from his glass Danny scoffed downing more beer. "Trust me kid I am still just as in love with Linda as I was when we first met but no we aren't perfect. There's no such thing as perfect couple. "

"Try telling that to our boys, I don't think either of us were that smitten on our wedding days do you?"

"You were," Danny replied. "I was too. There's nothing exactly wrong with Linda and me right now…"

"But…" Jamie filled in.

"But certain things aren't working out like that should be and…" Jamie got it.

"You know sometimes I have the same issue, it helps not to plan it, to just let it come as it will," Jamie advised. "It's nothing on you except maybe your vision has something to do with it."

"My vision is fine," Danny replied quickly.

"If you have low night vision, Danny, and men are visual, it can affect things. Maybe talk to that doctor friend of Sean's about your eyes, maybe she has some herbs if you don't want to see the eye doctor."

Jamie could tell by Danny's silence he was thinking about it. "I almost lost Eddie because I stopped hearing her. Listen to Linda, see if she's talking to you without her words like Eddie did."

Danny took in his younger brother's words, he would investigate this after he wedding festivities settled down.

"Dad," Sean broke into the conversation. "Who's job is it to get Molly's mother? I didn't hear it being talked about while we were planning today."

"Aunt Erin is going to get her and bring her to the house just before the rehearsal," Jamie replied. "Are you bringing your doctor friend to the wedding?"

Sean shrugged, "Yes, I asked Sarah to come with me but no there is nothing there. I know Aunt Eddie is team Sean and Sarah but I'm not…"

Danny ruffled Sean's hair, "I know you're not. No pressure…"

Sean rolled his eyes then went back to his assigned list of pre-wedding activities.

Much later that night, both couples settled in Jack's apartment and opened a bottle of Irish Mist given to Molly by her colleagues at work. "I did not think that by having a double wedding we'd have double the work," Rita sighed. "I'm exhausted and we have three days to go."

"Tomorrow is the rehearsal," Joey replied. "And on Saturday we'll all be married."

Molly laid her head on Joe's chest and he slid his arm around her rubbing her shoulder. "You tired, you want to go home?"

"No, I'm okay, just…thinking a little bit about…"

"I know, you miss your Mom," Rita sighed. "But Eddie and Linda they'll be there for you too, we all love you, Molly. Don't be sad."

"I know we'll go see them when we can, we tried fer the honeymoon but that's too much money now…"

Rita and Jack shared a look knowing look and Jack poured the liquor. "To two great couples, our parents and to us following in those very huge footsteps. Let's hope we are as strong as they are married as long as they are."

The four toasted each other. "Well, at least all the work is done," Rita replied. "Molly, you got your dress today too right?"

"Yes, it's so nice and I have this beautiful bouquet and I get to marry my best friend. I feel like a heel being sad on the cusp of all of that."

Joey kissed Molly's head, "We're going to have a wonderful life."

"That's right," Jack replied smiling. "Soon, you will be the wife of the Commissioner of the NYPD."

Rita snuggled closer to Jack, "You have big shoes to fill, but I'll help you. We are going to make a great group all of us."

Even with the almost 18 year age gap between Jack and Joey, they were very good friends bonding over being the sons of high profile cops. Rita and Molly both knew their husbands would one day stand like Danny and Jamie had today probably talking about them. That made them both smile.

It was after midnight when Danny and Linda arrived home. "Careful, there's the step," Linda warned.

"I know, it's been our house for years, I know where the damn step is," Danny grouched.

"Well, our son is getting married and he's counting on you being there and not in the hospital getting a hip or something!"

"I'm fine," Danny snapped. "The kid is the one that can't walk a straight line."

"And you can't see a foot in front of you in the dark and you know it," Linda replied. "Did you see how happy Eddie and Jamie were today? From where they were two months ago to today, it's like dark and light."

"Kid went through Hell," Danny admitted. "I know it wasn't her fault but Eddie was pretty unfair to him."

"Perhaps, but that is in the past now and in three days our son will get married. Forty-three years old, I never thought that would happen," Linda sighed as she crawled into be beside Danny.

"I know but it did and now Sean is maybe finding someone with that lady doctor friend of his," Danny reported. "He's bringing her to the wedding and that's something."

"Sean's said he doesn't want to get married, but he's going to make a play for custody if the baby is proved to be his," Linda replied. "He might make us grandparents before Jack does."

Danny laughed, "You just want a baby to spoil, Dad plays too much with the twins for you get your hands on them."

Linda laughed, "You are going to be a terrific grandpa when that happens, you're already a terrific Dad."

Danny rolled over on his side, "That's only because I had such a terrific partner. I love you, Linda…"

Linda smiled and cupped Jamie's cheek, "I love you more."

Jamie smiled as Eddie snuggled into him wrapping his arms around her. "I can't believe our son is getting married," Jamie said softly brushing her hair.

"Tell me about it. I still see him as the two-year-old boy who needs his Mommy," Eddie sighed in disbelief her baby was all grown up and about to start a family of his own. Resting her head against Jamie's chest Eddie cupped his hands.

"Do you remember when he was about four his first day of preschool?" Eddie laughed. Jamie smiled quietly remembering his son refusing to go in so he could stay with his parents. Joey had clung to Eddie's leg, crying his little heart out wanting to

"Yea, remember when Lila started school? Joe holding his sister's hand walking in with her." Jamie brushed a hand down her arm reminiscing.

"Lila was fearless," Eddie laughed. "She pushed Joey's hand off and said, "I'm going myself!" Eddie laughed. "I'm glad they are so close. We did good."

Jamie kissed Eddie's head, "Yeah we did. We have a busy few days so I want you to get a good sleep okay?"

Eddie nodded, "Let's sleep like this? Together?"

"Together, I love you Eddie," Jamie murmured.

"Love you back," Eddie whispered shutting her eyes to fall asleep.

 **A/N: Nice feel good chapter here, at least for the most part, before the wedding commences. I can't believe this is almost over, but there is plenty more to come…**

 **Next Update December 13** **th** **– The rehearsal dinner, complete with stunning surprise for Molly**


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter Fifty Two

"Hey Molly, are you ready for the rehearsal dinner?" Lila greeted with a smile letting the young woman inside to dress.

"I am, just a little nervous," Molly admitted following Lila upstairs. Eddie greeted them in the master bedroom having already started work on her curling her hair.

Lila started towards the bathroom finishing up so Molly could have a turn. Eddie adjusted her chair smiling at her reflection, the pink eyeshadow she chose bringing out her blue eyes contrasting her mascara. She picked a subtle lipstick to match.

"Are you nervous?" Eddie questioned feeling a tenseness in the quiet room, turning back to the younger women.

"I am," Molly admitted immediately working on her makeup.

Eddie smiled softly at her daughter to be. "I remember being very nervous when I was going to marry my Jamie. I'd known him for years, dated him for years, but this family…I wasn't sure I was ready for this day, you know?"

"There's so many of you," Molly replied. "Like an Army or something."

Eddie stroked Molly's arm, "Yes, that's true honey. It's a bg family but listen to me, you can have your own family too. You can be the mistress of your house. Jamie and I did that, we were very careful about that. We loved that Joe and Lila had a huge family, trust me, it's a blessing. When I was sick, having the backup was invaluable, but Jamie and I did like to keep things close too. Don't let anyone, not Joe, not us push you if you think it's time to have your family alone together."

Molly smiled, "Thank ye. Okay, I'm having trouble with me hair if ye think you can help me…"

Eddie looked at Molly's lopsided half up and half down hairdo. "I got you, you want the half pony tail in the center with the cameo clip?"

Molly nodded, "Me hand's have been shaking all day, I can't get it straight."

"Don't worry, I'll help you, here sit by my vanity…"

Slowly Eddie began to fashion the hairdo in Molly's thick hair. "Your hair is so thick and lovely just like Lila's. There…is that how you pictured?"

Molly surveyed herself in the mirror, "Oh, no…it's…It's even more beautiful. Thank ye, Momma Eddie."

"It's my pleasure baby, Lila's going to help you get your make up done. Let me check on Jamie."

Eddie stood up and went downstairs to Frank's room where he was getting ready with Joey and Jamie. "I got it!" Jamie said defiantly almost slapping at Frank's hand.

"Watch those hands!" Frank scolded. "Just because you're over sixty doesn't mean I can't take you over my knee for being disrespectful."

"Jamie, let me," Eddie said walking with her hair done and her make-up on. All she needed were her dress and her shoes but she already looked beautiful. Jamie immediately relented, it was one thing for his wife to do this, he was embarrassed to have his ninety-five year old father tie his tie. Eddie's nimble fingers tied the knot in the style Jamie preferred. "There, now you look handsome. You all look so great."

Meanwhile, Erin was standing near baggage claim at JFK holding up a sign that read Mrs. Flannigan. They had never met Molly's mom but she was honored to be the one that was asked to help with this. It was Eddie's way of tossing out the olive branch. Finally, the spitting image of Molly except with flaming red hair. Erin put the sign down and approached her, "Mary Kate Flannigan?"

"Erin Reagan, ye look just like the picture your brother sent te us. It's so nice of ye to come and get me."

Mary Kate's accent was thicker than Molly's so Erin had to listen closely in the busy airport. "Let's get your stuff and we should be there before they leave for the church."

The traffic was on Erin's side and she pulled the car up to the family home ten minutes before they had to go to church. "Oh, it' so lovely! Ye grew up here?"

"I did and Joey and Lila moved in here when he was about ten," Erin replied. "This is our family home, but even though Jamie is the youngest he and Eddie are caring for Dad so they have this house now."

Mary Kate smiled, "I can't thank them enough fer flying me out here to see me baby girl as a bride."

Just as Molly and Lila the doorbell rang. Lila hurried down to answer it. Eddie and Jamie stepped into the living room to greet their guest. "Lila please take Mrs. Flannigan up to the bedroom please," Jamie told her as he shook Mary Kate's hand. Lila led Mary Kate upstairs and Lila stepped into the bedroom smiling at Molly "You have a visitor."

Lila stepped aside allowing Mary Kate to reveal herself. Molly's eyes widened in shock and she rushed to greet her mother with huge tears flowing down her face. "Momma, what are yer doing here?"

Mary Kate wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter sobbing happily at seeing her baby girl. "They didn't tell ye? Yer Joseph's parents were nice enough to get me a plane ticket and fly me here so I could see ye get married."

Wiping her eyes Molly turned to Eddie who has followed Lila upstairs to see this lovely moment between a mother and a daughter, moments she took for granted with her daughter. Molly continued to sob. "You did that for me?"

"Of course, your mother should be here to celebrate this big day with you," Eddie smiled accepting the hug. "Of course we did this for you honey."

Mary Kate wiped Molly's tears, "Daddy sorry that he couldn't come baby, but ye know what's going on with him and…"

Molly nodded, "I know and we'll be over te see him, Joseph agreed…Oh, Joseph, you have te meet Joseph."

The women headed downstairs after Lila quickly helped Molly fix her make-up. Frank and Jamie were ready as was Joey. When Molly came down Joey gasped only seeing her. "You look so pretty, honey," Joey whispered pulling her into his arms. Molly laid her head on Joey's shoulders.

"Joseph, I want ye to meet…Yer Mom and Dad, ye knew right?" Molly looked from Joey to her mother.

"No, no I…You have to be Mrs. Flannigan, you and Molly look so much alike. I'm Joe Reagan, it's nice to meet you in person."

Joey had called and spoked to both Molly's parents when he proposed but given the miles he had yet to meet them. "It's Mary Kate, and I am so grateful that yer parents flew me out."

Joey smiled at Jamie and Eddie. "The expense I know was…"

Eddie piped up quickly, "You cannot put a price on having your mother at your wedding. That was something I never had the chance to have, neither did Jamie and we didn't want to deny you that over a little thing like money."

Molly hugged Eddie again then got into the car with her mother, Joey, Lila and the twins dressed to the nines, Reagan in a little blue eyelet dress with white apron and Finn in a mini suit with a tie to match his uncle and grandpa. Steven would meet them for dinner after he got of his work.

The family arrived at the rehearsal almost in sync with Danny and Linda's side of the family. Joey and Molly introduced Mary Kate to Jack and Rita and to Rita' parents, Lisa and Vernon. The key player gathered at the back of the church while Eddie and Lisa looked over the plans. "This looks solid, you and Linda go down together, then Mary Kate and will go together…the bridal party is next then Vernon with Rita and Danny with Molly…"

Under the direction of two members of the Rosary Society, the family rehearsed the processional with prerecorded music until they had it timed perfectly.

"Mrs. Reagan, do you wish to guide through the rest of the ceremony?" she asked Linda. The four mothers agreed it was a good idea.

Steven would offer the first reading, so Lila pinch hit for him. Sean offered the psalm, while Nikki was invited to give the second reading. Erin and Rita's godmother, a sweet lady named Janet offered the gifts.

The entire endeavor took about two hours before the bridal couples and their parents approved the flow of things. Rita was calm, Molly shy and all four mothers very nervous. The family drove to the selected restaurant for dinner. Mary Kate had been to a few fine restaurants on trips to Dublin, but this one was decorated so beautifully it took her breath away. "I'm so glad ye found this happiness, my girl," she told Molly hugged her. "Ye Da won't believe it though until he see yer Joseph face to face."

"I know Momma," Molly sighed. "Fer now, ye have to try this meatball. It is filled with three kinds of cheese and is so good…"

Jamie stepped up behind Eddie and put his arms around her, "Hey, pretty girl. You holding up all right, it's a long day on your feet."

"If I can't handle today how on earth am I going to handle tomorrow?" Eddie asked. "Our boy…why is this harder than when Lila got married?"

"Joe is your baby, that's one reason, even though he's older. The other is we had time for this one. With Lila's wedding, you and I, were focused on my walking again and so much was going on…we're feeling this one more."

Eddie laid her head back, "Yeah, we're coming full circle too, we've settled our issues, we're strong than ever."

"You bet we are…" Jamie replied. "I promised Joey I'd make a family toast, if you are getting tired…"

Eddie rubbed Jamie's arm, "If I'm tired I'll sit but I'm fine. You be careful though, your hands were acting up. We'll talk about hitting your father's hand later too."

Jamie waived Eddie off and took a place near the end of the long bar, "Ladies and gentleman, family and friends," Jamie began tapping his glass. "On behalf of my son Joseph and his bride Molly, and my nephew and right hand man, Jack, and his bride Rita, I'd like to thank all of your for your support and your help making tonight and especially tomorrow very special for our couples and for the rest of us. Each one of you is like family to us, each one of you is invaluable to all of us here. So, eat, drink, be well and be happy, the bar is open and the drinks are on the house! Good health to you all!"

The group clinked glasses and started to make use of the large buffet, Jamie returned to Eddie's side with a plate and her preferred wine, "Special occasion, Sean said it was okay," Jamie assured her as he met his nephew's eyes from across the room. Sean nodded and smiled, raising his glass in silent toast to how far they had come.

 **A/N: Mary Kate is a throwback to one of my favorite movies, The Quiet Man. Their last name was Thornton…Flannigan is an alteration of my last name…my name rhymes with Flannigan…Hope you all enjoyed Molly's surprise and the rest of the rehearsal. Final chapter to come!**

 **Next Update – December 15** **th** **– It's a double wedding day!**


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter Fifty Three

Eddie stirred in Jamie's arms early the day of the wedding. The rehearsal had been a late but beautiful night for the entire family. Eddie smiled up at Jamie, who was still fast asleep. She pulled out of his arms going downstairs to make coffee and breakfast. Joey would be awake soon as would Frank. It was still hard to believe her baby boy was a groom.

As Eddie was finishing up eggs and turkey bacon, Jamie joined her and greeted her with a soft kiss. "Ready for today?"

"No," Eddie laughed, bringing the plates over before going back to pour coffee. "Our Joey is getting married today. He's 27 but still looks like that little boy getting ready to make his communion.

Jamie smiled almost teasingly eating the breakfast so he would have some time with Joey before having to get dressed. Eddie finished her breakfast first and since she took longer than Jamie, she went upstairs to start getting ready. Eddie would put her dress on right before leaving for church, Molly and Mary Kate were going to be getting ready at Lila's so there was no risk of Joey seeing his bride before the wedding.

Eddie turned on the warm spray and wet her hair letting the water run down her back. Eddie used the vanilla condition Jamie loved, letting it soak her hair for a minute before washing it out. Stepping out, Eddie blew her hair out wrapping a bathrobe around her so Jamie could go into the shower when he came upstairs.

Frank was about to step out of the bedroom when he heard Jamie greet Joey with a robust good morning. "Mom's got eggs and there's plenty of coffee. How you doing son? Getting nervous?"

Joey shook his head, "Not at all. I know this is the right girl, that I'm doing the right thing. I just hope I don't do anything stupid to screw things up down the way."

Jamie smiled, "Listen to me…You did the first part right. You chose a strong partner that will be there by your side, that can shoulder whatever may come along. That's the hard part. Now you respect her, Joey, you appreciate her and treat her as your partner. Don't take her for granted, and always listen to her. You do those things, keep your eyes and your hands to yourself and you'll do fine."

Joey smiled, "Thanks, Dad. I hope I did as a good a job in choosing a wife as you did."

"Oh, you did," Frank said entering to eat. "You don't worry about it, open your arms to your Molly and all the babies that you'll have and when you're out of energy, she'll have it, when she's tired, you be there…Lift each other up, that's my best advice."

"Thanks, Grandpa," Joey replied. "Oh, these eggs are so good…"

On Staten Island, Danny and Jack were having a similar talk. "You waited a long time for this, Jack. You took your time and that's good. I'm so proud of you and the man you are. When you take those vows today," Danny laughed. "I have to say something profound, you know Uncle Jamie is talking Joey's ear off, so when you take those vows today, they are for life, no messing around, not screwing around, and no being stingy with the money or the sex, you do either and your life will turn out upside down. Now Mom's got breakfast, go get dressed. We're meeting the groomsmen and all at Uncle Jamie's."

Jack had to laugh at his father, he didn't expect a big lecture from his Dad, Danny wasn't like that, but it was nice to have that private moment with him on his wedding day.

At two o'clock precisely the brides and the grooms along with the attendants and families left in limos for the church. St. Catherine's was dressed to the nines, the doors and walls adorned with ribbons and florals carefully selected by the brides. "Oh it's so beautiful," Molly gushed. She had been part of the selection process but never imagined how it would look.

Linda, Eddie, Mary Kate, and Lisa rushed their girls into the bridal suite to help them get into their gowns while Jamie and Danny hurried their boys into the sacristy. Erin stood at the door of the church greeting friends and distant relatives while the ushers sat the continuous line of people from NYPD to FDNY to Rita's real estate off and Molly's hospice. This wedding had been a long anticipated affair for everyone involved, mainly the brides and grooms.

Eddie smiled at Molly as she turned around in her Irish lace gown, her beautiful hair up and adorned by her crown like veil. Mary Kate's eyes teared up as she looked at her baby in a wedding gown. "Oh, ye look so pretty, both of ye do!"

The two gowns could not be more different. Molly's was lace with a high neck and long train while Rita's was silk with a sweetheart neckline and only had a fishtail train, still both girls looked gorgeous. The gowns highlighted the differences in their personality but at the same time, just as the two women did, complimented each other perfectly.

"I'm so nervous," Rita laughed looking over at Molly. "Are you nervous?"

Molly shook her head, "No, everything is as it should be now. The wedding is minutes away, every detail has been planned, it's out of our hands. I'm ready to just enjoy this day."

Rita and Molly hugged as Lila appeared in her gown, "It's already up front and Joey is about ready to chew his arm off he's so anxious to start. First, since everyone is dressed…Come on in guys…"

Both Molly and Rita were ready to make a run for it but instead of their grooms it was Anse and Sean, the best men standing there. "What are you two doing in here?" Linda asked going over to Sean.

"Jack and Joe sent us with something for Rita and Molly," Sean replied. "To wear when they come down."

Linda took the boxes and went over to Molly and Rita after she shooed the boys out. Both boxes were small and wrapped in gold foil paper. Rita opened hers first and found a beautiful necklace, emerald and diamond. The stones were small but there was no doubt what they meant. Rita bit her lip so she wouldn't cry and mess up her carefully applied make up.

Molly's opened a more traditional piece, a gorgeous Irish cameo broch. The background was deep emerald instead of the traditional coloring and the etching was in gold and ivory. Molly's hands shook when she saw it, it touched her so. "Mom, help me?"

Mary Kate helped Molly put the pin on her gown so she could wear it as she gave her heart to Joey for life.

Erin poked her head in, "It's time to start lining up, everything is all set."

Eddie nodded and took Linda's hand. The two hurried to the sacristy to give their sons hugs before they became married men. "I love you, baby boy," Eddie whispered. Jamie had designed it so that Eddie would have very little time with Joey, Danny had done the same, both men knew their wives would be weepy with push came to shove.

"You remember all that I taught you, Jack. It' always okay to cry and always tell the truth…" Linda kissed Jack's cheek. "You make me so proud."

Both men hugged their moms then felt their fathers pull them away. "Eddie, Linda, come on now, they are ready…"

Eddie and Linda with Jamie and Danny headed to the back of the church. Vernon had headed back to stand with Rita and Danny hurried to take his place beside Molly. Jamie found his seat beside Frank and waited as the processional began.

Eddie and Linda walked in together, visions in their gowns. Once they were seated Mary Kate and Lisa walked in side by side, Lisa's Italian flair was a stark contrast to Mary Kate's Irish grace, yet both women complimented each other.

The small bridal party came next with Lila and Rita's closest friend, Danielle, filling the Maid of Honor rolls, then finally the music changes and the brides began to come down. Rita was first on the arm of her father, then Molly with Danny at her side. Joey and Jack gasped at the beautiful women who would become their wives.

While readings were taking place and vows were being said, Frank sat back and watched as his family grew again by not just two but by an infinite number. There would be babies from these unions and one day those babies would stand at this alter and marry just as he did so many years ago.

" **I, Francis Xavier Reagan, take thee, Mary Margaret Reilly,** **to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life," Frank whispered to the love of his life as she stood beside him, hands joined together. There was a little a twinkle in Mary's eye that told him while she looked like an angel now, there was a fiery spirit inside.**

" **I, Mary Margaret Reilly, take thee, Francis Xavier Reagan, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."**

 **Mary squeezed Frank's hand, conveying all of the love she held in her heart.**

Frank looked at the alter and what was taking place there. His grandsons were making those same promises to two very strong women, women that like their mothers, would be formidable allies and sometimes formidable foes…just like his precious Mary. He had never loved another, he never could.

Before Frank realized it, the Father was speaking the words that every bride and groom could not wait to hear, "Both of you many now kiss your brides…Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. and Mrs. John Henry Reagan and Mrs. and Mrs. Joseph Patrick Reagan…"

The swells of the recessional began to play. Frank stayed seated, saving his lungs and his legs a trip to the back of the large church. As soon as the guests had been received, the couples and their families would return for the pictures.

"You okay, Dad?" Erin asked putting a hand on Frank's shoulder.

Frank nodded, "I was just thinking how much your mom would love to see this day."

Erin wiped a tear on Frank's cheek, "She's hear, you know she is and Pop too."

Frank covered Erin's hand with his, "I know, it's just not the same." Erin fully understood.

Frank sat back and watched Jack and Rita have their photos taken. Jack had surely taken his time, though Frank could not have been prouder of him and all he had achieved. Danny, Linda and Sean joined them. Danny and Linda had a strong solid marriage, built on respect and on loyalty. Both of their boys had grown into strong men, each with his own talents and drive. Sean seemed happy to be single right now, but Frank had a feeling about him and the lady doctor, especially is Sean was to be a father in a few months time.

Joey and Molly took their places next. Frank would be lying if didn't admit that Molly reminded him of his Mary more than any of his daughters or granddaughters. She had a fire and a spunk she would need to match wits with Joey who was Serbian stubborn and Irish proud.

Group after group went up for photos as Frank watched. The photographer took a few shots of Mary Kate, Molly, Lisa, and Rita, just the ladies. "Eddie and Lila, bring Reagan and join us, Linda too. All the mothers and daughter…"

Eddie stepped up on the alter with Lila at her side. Baby Reagan kicked in her mother's arms as the photographer framed the photo.

"Wait a minute," Eddie spoke up. "We forgot someone, if we are going to have all the mothers and daughter, Erin and Nikki, come get in this picture…"

Erin smiled as she took a place on the alter and smiled for the photo, but no one was smiling more than Frank. For far too long Eddie and Erin had resented each other, now it seemed, an olive branch had been offered and accepted each with kindness and love.

When it was finally Frank's turn to stand in the center of his boys and their families, there was no need for him to say cheese or another convenient phrase to turn up the corners of his mouth. The people around him gave him plenty of reasons to smile, plenty of reasons to be proud. This was his legacy, not his medals or even an individual child's achievement, but his large often loud and opinionated collective of people who laughed often, loved deeply, and perhaps most important of all would all stand together whenever it was require to support one of their own. This was Frank's greatest achievement, his greatest joy, his greatest love…

 **A/N: Well here we are, the final chapter of my longest Tough Universe story to date and perhaps ever, however this is only story five of the thirteen part series so it might end up being one of the shortest.**

 **Special thanks to lawslave, yanks302021, Werks, Nancy Reviews, and JLMayer for advice on this piece including sharing some personal memories and stories to enhance the reach of this piece. Also thanks to my loyal reviews, Lea, LuvJamieReagan, CC, Dorvell, Dragonsprit, and all the other people that left constructive comments. I'm sorry if I missed anyone you all are great! Looking forward to your thoughts on this final chapter. I hope I mixed the families well enough.**

 **Next Update – January 15** **th** **– The Hardest Thing will debut! Hope to see you all there.**


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